Chapter 24
Shiloh
I sat before my computer, frowning at the lack of messages from Jimmie on the secure site that the Missouri state prison had set up for inmates to communicate with family or friends.
We’d used it very briefly when he was first incarcerated.
I’d felt bad that he had no one in his life who cared enough to visit him.
But once the harassment began with Brick and Curtis—and Jimmie denied any responsibility for it—I’d stopped reaching out.
Maybe he didn’t even check for messages anymore. Maybe he’d given up on anyone outside the prison walls caring if he lived or died.
My stomach twisted. I didn’t want him to die in there because I’d given up on him…
The bathroom door opened, and Holden emerged, still buttoning his gray button-down. Apparently, color was reserved for dates.
“Something wrong?” he asked. “You look like that computer offended you.”
I smiled faintly. “No, I just wish you could stay home and play hooky with me.”
The class I’d been covering every day had its teacher back from maternity leave, which meant I’d still sub, but I’d be moving from class to class a lot more. Or staying home, like today, when they didn’t need me.
“You can go by the junkyard and make sure Axel isn’t playing hooky on his job. I’ve always wanted a good spy.” He winked. “You don’t have to sit here alone.”
Holden trusted his brother. In the whole time I’d lived here, he hadn’t once gone over to check up on him. He was just trying to give me a project so that I wouldn’t be restless.
“It’s okay. I’ve got an email from the school about subbing for a new class. I need to read up on the lesson plan.”
“Okay, if you’re sure. I’ll see you for lunch.”
We’d already had breakfast, so this was goodbye. Before I could turn back to the screen, he dipped down and brushed his lips over mine.
When he pulled back, I stared at him in surprise. “You kissed me.”
A slow smile spread across his face. “That’s right. I can do that now.”
A big, goofy smile overtook me, and I laughed. “I guess you can. Kiss me again?”
He leaned down and kissed me more thoroughly, giving me a hint of tongue and making me burn for more. He straightened with a smirk.
“Never thought I’d be able to make you look like that.”
“Like what?”
“Flustered,” he murmured. “Needy.”
I scoffed. “You know I want you when we’re together.”
“Mm. But this time, I made you want me.”
He walked away before I could answer, a little spring in his step. With anyone else, it would seem cocky. But Holden deserved his moment in the sun after going so long without the warmth of human contact.
I went over the lesson plan, then did some research so I could embellish the science lesson with a fun experiment making different types of slime. I’d have to make a run into town for ingredients, but I’d have plenty of time.
I changed and headed out, intercepting the mail carrier. The woman, in her mid-forties with a red ponytail and freckles that made it easy to imagine how she’d looked at twelve, handed me a thick envelope.
“Someone’s got college mail. Hope it’s good news!”
I looked down. It was made out to Bailey Collins c/o Holden Cross. The return address label read Thurston University, a state school a little over two hours’ drive from Riverton.
Judging by the heft of the package, it must be an admission packet. I couldn’t imagine a rejection would be so heavy, so I decided to swing by the shop and give them the good news.
Unlike the last time I’d stopped by, no one was standing around talking. Flynn was bent over an open hood, while Bailey worked at a diagnostic computer, reading its results.
A glance through Holden’s office window told me he was on the phone with Gray hovering near his shoulder.
Bailey glanced up, his blue eyes looking steely gray in the dim lighting of the shop. “Hey, Shy. Everything okay?”
I raised the envelope. “Just bringing you some mail.”
“Oh. Yeah. Which college?”
“Thurston.”
“Cool.” He nodded. “Holden will be stoked.”
“Not you?” I asked.
“Eh, it’s good. Not too far from home. I can still drive down on weekends. I’d rather go to Hayworth, but it’s private and super pricey, so…” He shrugged. “Not an option. I could go to Riverton and keep working here, but—”
“But you’ve got the grades for a better school,” Holden said as he emerged from his office, Gray behind him. “So, we’re not sending you to community college, right?”
“Right,” Bailey said.
“Besides, you need to focus on your studies, not work. We’re going to set you up for the ideal college experience. Dorm room, plenty of time to study—”
“And party,” Gray put in. “Don’t forget that.”
“But mostly study,” Holden said.
Flynn chuckled. “Good luck with that one. This kid doesn’t know what he’s been missing.”
Bailey rolled his eyes. “I’m not some frat-boy wannabe. I’m not gonna fit in with those people. I’m there to get a degree and move the fuck on.”
“Damn right,” Holden said, sounding a little proud.
“So, this is good news, then,” I said, holding out the envelope for one of them to take.
Bailey didn’t look eager. Holden took it from me. “Hey, nice. This is our top pick. Not too far from home.”
“Yeah.” Bailey nodded. “I can visit every weekend.”
“Maybe not every weekend,” Gray said with a chuckle. “Live a little. They don’t call it Thirsty U for nothing.”
Bailey rolled his eyes. “Right, yeah. All those parties you think I’ll be attending.”
Holden ripped open the envelope and scanned the letter, then handed it off to Bailey. “Good job, kid. You got your shit together, and it’s already paying off.”
He hesitated, then patted Bailey’s upper arm. Just a quick tap.
Bailey’s whole face changed, eyes lighting up. I could see how much he loved his big brother and wanted his approval, despite the grousing he sometimes did.
“Thanks. I’m trying.”
“You’re doing,” Holden said, then tapped the envelope. “It’s happening, man.”
“Everyone’s proud of you, Bails,” Gray added with a nod. “Way to go.”
Bailey’s smile widened. “Does this mean I can finally stop writing those god-awful essays?”
Holden chuckled. “Yeah, you’re off the hook.” He glanced at me. “And so is Shiloh. Thanks for helping him with the proofreading.”
“Always happy to help. It was Bailey’s work that made the difference.” I gave Bailey a quick hug, whispering, “You made him real proud. But you should be proud of you too.”
Bailey nodded to show he understood, blinking hard, and turned away to refocus on his work.
“Well, I should be going,” I said. “Just wanted to deliver the good news.”
“Thanks, hon.” Holden leaned in and kissed me like he had that morning.
His brothers stared. Then Gray let out a sharp whistle, and Bailey laughed.
“Holy shit, I guess things are going well with you two.”
Holden grinned and shrugged. “Well enough. Shy, want to come into my office for a minute?”
“Sure.”
Once closed inside, Holden dipped down and kissed me again, more thoroughly. My body heated up as his tongue stroked mine.
“Hold—you’re gonna make me come in my pants.”
He chuckled, voice deep and rough. “Could I really do that? That might be fun.”
I resisted the urge to smack his arm. “Not for me.”
“Sorry. I’m sure this is a lot less exciting for you.”
“Are you kidding? I love kissing you, Holden. Just…don’t tease me too much, okay? I worry I’ll forget myself and cross a boundary.”
His eyes softened, and he took a step back. “Okay. That’s totally fair.”
“Kiss me goodbye, though. I’m off to run some errands, and I’m going to take your car.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Who’s bossy now?”
I smiled. “Don’t like it when the tables are turned?”
He pressed a quick kiss to my lips. “Pretty sure I like the tables turned any which way with you.”
He grabbed his keys off the hook on the wall and tossed them to me.
“I knew you were smart,” I teased.
The next few days passed much the same way. I covered my fourth-grade class twice, then got sent down to first grade when Parker called in with the flu.
Holden kissed me goodbye each morning, again at lunch, and much more intensely before bed. We were like a couple of desperate, horny teens who made out until our lips were chapped because we weren’t ready to go to the next level.
Friday night, Holden was in bed when I came out of the bathroom. That wasn’t unusual, but there was something different about him. A determination in his eyes that I’d begun to recognize.
I’d seen it the first few times he held my hand. Just before he’d kissed me for the first time.
And now.
My heart jolted. “What’s up?”
Holden reclined against a pillow, wearing boxer briefs and a T-shirt. Banshee slept at the foot of the bed, her snout resting over his ankles.
“Just waiting for you,” he murmured, patting the bed next to him.
I’d put on a pair of sweats and a tank top when I got out of the shower. I’d get naked when we went to sleep, but with all the making out, it helped to have a barrier to remind me not to go too far.
I climbed into the bed on my side, jostling a sleepy Banshee, who snorted. Holden leaned in to kiss me.
I parted my lips, giving myself over to the kiss. It would only amp up my body and make me want more, but I couldn’t give up the closeness with Holden. The intimacy. I loved it too much.
Holden pulled back, a challenge in his eyes.
“Shouldn’t you be naked?”
“Um…”
“Get naked,” he ordered. “And put on one of those Ring Pops you like so much.”
A shiver went down my spine.
I didn’t know what he intended, but I knew it was something more than the kissing that was beginning to drive both of us out of our minds.
Holden urged Banshee out of the bed and over to the door. She went reluctantly until he promised her a treat.
I stripped down while he was gone and returned to the bed, staying on top of the covers, even though it was chilly.
Exposed so he could see me when he came in.
Holden returned, pausing just in front of the door, gaze roving over me. My skin prickled under his stare, and my cock, already half-hard, fully stiffened and rose to attention.
My skin ached to be touched, but I knew that couldn’t happen. Not yet. Maybe not ever. Holden looked as if he wanted to devour me, though, and my body responded to that look regardless of what was really going to happen.
“Will you undress too?” I asked tentatively.
He responded by dragging off his T-shirt and pushing down his briefs. God, the man was beautiful. He so rarely exposed himself to me, even now. I was pretty sure he wasn’t self-conscious about his body so much as the scars it wore.
I always did my best to look beyond them, but they made my heart hurt, and it wasn’t always possible to hide that from him.
Holden came into the bed, and we met in the middle, careful not to touch anywhere but our lips.
We kissed until we were both breathless and hard. Holden put his hand over mine, then guided my hand down to my dick.
Holden shifted down the bed, still holding my hand and guiding it up and down my shaft. Then, as I watched, he extended his tongue.
My breath froze in my chest.
He licked the Ring Pop on my hand—the hand that was fisted around my cock—before parting his lips to suck the candy.
I moaned, arousal thudding through me. His mouth was so close to my—
Holden released the ring with a pop, unfolded my fingers, and tugged my hand away from my aching dick.
“Holden,” I complained, hips rising in a silent plea. My erection bobbed over my belly, oozing precum. It was so hard it felt as if it’d split right open.
And when Holden dipped his face closer, I had to fight every instinct to shove my dick at his mouth.
“Don’t tease me,” I begged. “I can’t take it.”
He flicked out his tongue over my cockhead. I gasped, heart stopping. Then he licked me again, more firmly, and my heart jolted back into motion so abruptly I wondered if I might have a heart attack.
A moan escaped me as he gently explored me with his tongue.
“Oh my god. Are you—are you sure? Don’t push yourself too far.”
Holden’s gaze flicked up and held mine. It was full of heat and want and a little rebellion.
He kept his hands at his sides, and I did the same, as he nosed along my shaft and finally closed his mouth around my cock.
I groaned so loudly there was no hope his brothers wouldn’t hear me.
He pulled off. “Be quiet while I suck your dick.”
I gasped out a laugh. “I don’t know if I can.”
“Suck that Ring Pop. Maybe it’ll muffle the moans.” He grinned, a little feral in his triumph. “I’m going to take my time.”
“You say that as if I’m not going to come in two seconds.”
“You better not,” he said sternly. “You wait until I say it’s time.”
I bit my lower lip, shivering. “Doesn’t help when you’re all bossy. Only makes me hotter for you.”
He smirked. “I know.”
Then he went back to work, licking and kissing up and down my shaft, taking a few fumbling moments to get me back into his mouth without using his hands.
But when he did? Holy shit. I unraveled in seconds.
I shoved the Ring Pop into my mouth, sucking and moaning as quietly as I could as my body reached the breaking point.
I jerked the candy out of my mouth. “Holden!”
He pulled away. “Do it now.”
We both pretended I came because he told me I could. Truth was, I was coming either way. My cock erupted with a hard orgasm that shook my whole body and obliterated every thought in my head.
When I resurfaced, Holden was wiping me down with a wet cloth. He was wearing a smug, satisfied smile.
“Enjoy yourself?” he asked.
“You know I did,” I said, teasing a laugh from him. “But what about you? Are you ready for—”
“No,” he said quickly. “I’m good.”
He was still hard and probably desperate to come. I wanted to be the one to touch him, to give him pleasure, but he wasn’t ready. He might never be ready for that.
“Let me watch,” I murmured. “I want to see how good it made you feel to suck me.”
He shuddered. “Fuck, okay.”
He crawled onto the bed, turned onto his back, and fisted his dick in his hand. He jerked himself roughly, like a man who wanted it over quickly.
“Slow down,” I said softly. “Let me enjoy it.”
He stilled, then gradually slid his hand up his shaft before dragging it down again.
“Can I kiss you?” I asked. “Or would that be too much?”
“Kiss me,” he rasped, “but don’t—”
“I know,” I whispered against his lips. “No touching.”
My lips met his, and he opened for me, thrusting his tongue against mine with a quiet moan.
I kissed Holden while he stroked himself, while he gave himself the pleasure I couldn’t. I kissed him while he came, his cry muffled by my mouth.
I kissed him and knew with a clarity that shook me.
I was in love with Holden Cross.