Chapter 33
Shiloh
I woke the next morning to soft kisses trailing over my shoulder and down my arm.
I sighed and opened my eyes, blinking as they adjusted to the early morning light filtering through the blinds on the window. We’d gotten back late last night, and I’d crashed hard after the emotional roller coaster of the past couple of days.
“Good morning,” I rasped.
“It sure is,” Holden murmured, lifting his head to look at me from only a few inches away. Dark brown hair fell across his forehead, a sharp contrast to his bright blue eyes. “But how are you doing?”
Everything from last night hit me. The confrontation on the roadside. The way Holden’s whole family—my family too now—fought for me.
Brick and Curtis had left with their tails between their legs, and even if they wanted to come back and prove something, they couldn’t. Dalton had made sure of that.
“I still can’t believe this is finally over,” I said. “No more hiding out, no more looking over my shoulder.”
“Yeah, you deserve that.” He licked his lips, looking a little nervous. “You said last night that your life was here now.”
I rolled my head toward him. “Yeah?”
“Does that mean, um, that you’ll move in here?” He paused. “Permanently, I mean. With me.”
My heart skipped. “I hadn’t thought that far ahead. Do you want me here?”
“Always, Shy. I love you.”
I smiled. “Well, I have gotten kind of attached to this bed.”
“Just the bed, huh?”
“You guys stock pretty good coffee too,” I teased. “And Emory makes delicious waffles.”
He scowled at me, but I could see the amusement dancing in his eyes. “Anyone else you want to praise?”
I cast a look toward the foot of the bed, where white ears perked on Holden’s fluffy dog. “Well, Banshee is pretty cute too…”
Holden huffed. “I see how it is.”
I caught his eye and held it. “Of course, none of them would matter if you weren’t here,” I said more seriously. “Because I love you too.”
“Good. It’s settled, then.” He edged closer. “Would it be okay if I tried holding you for a few minutes before we get ready for work?”
My mouth went dry. Holden had stopped bundling up in a sleeping bag, and last night, he hadn’t bothered with the pillow barrier. But this was something more. Something new.
I nodded and rolled onto my side, allowing him to settle behind me. He laid one arm over my waist, the blanket still a barrier between us.
“How’s this?” he asked, breath heating the back of my neck.
“It’s perfect.”
We’d had sex that was far more thrilling, but cuddling in bed felt like the most significant milestone of them all. I closed my eyes, floating on a wave of contentment.
I really was home.
Holden slowly inched closer, bringing more of his body in contact with me, his thighs tucking in under my ass.
Skin-to-skin.
I melted into the bed, reveling in the intimacy.
“We need to get up and go to work soon,” Holden murmured.
“Mm-hmm.”
“Just a few more minutes first…”
I smiled to myself. Holden had pushed so hard to overcome his touch aversion—and while his panic attack and the aftermath proved there would be times he couldn’t handle it—moments like this reassured me he’d have more than enough affection to share with me.
We lingered in bed until Banshee decided she was missing out and squirmed between us, whining for attention.
I laughed as I stroked a hand down her wiggly back. “Aha, I get to make Banshee jealous for a change!”
“What do you mean?” Holden asked as he tugged at her ears and allowed a doggy kiss to his chin. “Were you…jealous of the dog?”
“No,” I lied, cheeks heating. “Well, maybe just a smidge. She always had an invitation to your bed. Got to be close to you when I couldn’t.”
Holden leaned over her to kiss me. “Well, believe me, I like your kisses much better.”
“Good.” We kissed again.
“For one thing, you don’t have doggy breath.”
I giggled. “That’s a relief.”
Banshee got tired of our make-out session and squirmed out from between us. She went to the door and barked sharply.
Holden glanced at the clock and winced. “We’re running late now.”
“Worth it,” I singsonged as I rolled out of my side of the bed.
Holden gave my naked body a once-over and sighed mournfully. “Wish we could be even later.”
“Can’t. I have school today.” I ran for the bathroom. “I’ll be quick!”
I showered and dressed in record time, then went to the kitchen while Holden finished up. We hadn’t yet crossed the boundary to showering together, but I was looking forward to that day, if only to save time.
Emory popped a couple of pieces of bread into the toaster while I reached for the coffee pot. “Hey, how are you feeling? Last night was a lot.”
“It was.” I poured a mug full of rich, bold hazelnut coffee. They really did stock the good stuff. “But I’m okay. It’s a huge relief, honestly. I didn’t realize how much weight I was carrying until it was gone.”
He smiled sympathetically. “I know that feeling.”
I took a seat at the table beside Gray, who was spreading a scary amount of grape jelly all over toast slathered in butter.
“You’re going to clog your arteries,” I warned.
“Mm, and what a delicious way to do it,” he said with a wink.
It was a morning like any other morning, except periodically, it would hit me: This was my life now.
I no longer had to worry about Brick and Curtis catching up with me. No longer had to look at my bank account with guilt that I couldn’t contribute to expenses here or dread that I’d still not saved enough to pay off my so-called debt.
I was free. I could go wherever I wanted. Do whatever I wanted.
And what I wanted most was right here in front of me.
Love. Family. A real home.
So many things I’d never managed to build in St. Louis, no matter how I tried. Something I hadn’t had since early childhood, before I’d really understood the way my parents would never accept me for who I was.
I’d never have to worry about that here. Holden and his brothers supported one another through everything. I was so lucky they’d opened their home and invited me into the fold.
Holden emerged from the hallway and sat down beside me. “You’re thinking hard. You okay? I know a lot has changed very quickly.”
“All good changes,” I said with a quick smile. “Guess I’m still trying to absorb what it means to me.”
“Oh?”
“I’m not a victim of circumstance anymore. You don’t have to be my hero and rescue me—”
“But I want to be,” he interrupted. “No matter what your circumstances are, I want to be the hero in your story.”
“I know,” I said.
He frowned, forehead creasing. “Do you not want that?”
“Maybe I want to rescue you for a change.”
“But you do. Every day.” He put his hand over mine on the table, reaching for me so easily it made my chest warm. “You’ve changed my life, Shy.”
My heart melted, and I leaned in. Holden met me halfway in a sweet kiss.
“I haven’t even eaten yet,” Bailey complained. “Can you not?”
Holden flipped him the bird. “I’ve earned all the kissing I want. So has Shiloh.”
“Those dudes were real shitheads. It sucks they made your life hell,” Bailey said. “But they weren’t so tough last night, were they? When Taz bit that douchenozzle, I about fell over laughing.”
“Well, I’m glad you didn’t,” Holden said dryly. “We’d have seemed a lot less scary.”
“Flynn looked scary enough for all of us,” Bailey said dismissively.
That was sort of true. When he crossed those arms and glowered, he looked like a completely different guy from the proud big brother I’d gotten to know at the junkyard.
“And the dogs were terrifying,” Gray added with a shudder. “I’m just glad Taz has his sights set on someone else.”
Everyone laughed, because Taz was usually a sweetie to everyone but Gray. He probably sensed his fear and unease. But he’d certainly earned my respect by biting Brick’s hand.
It had been the highlight of my night—other than coming home with Holden, knowing I was finally free to live my life.
Holden swiped my coffee cup and took a big gulp. “We should get out of here.”
I nodded while eyeing Gray’s plate wistfully. He huffed a little laugh and offered me a slice of toast. “Be careful. This might clog your arteries.”
“I’ve heard that somewhere,” I said as I grabbed the toast and took a bite while carrying my mug to the sink.
Everyone called out goodbyes as we headed out the door. Of course, they’d all see Holden again in about ten minutes. It was amazing they didn’t kill each other when they spent that much time together.
Holden and I walked out to his GTO, and he waited until I’d buckled my seat belt to start the engine and drive down the rutted lane that led to the highway.
“So, what have you got planned today?” he asked.
I smiled, heart skipping. “I think I’ll put in my formal application to teach full-time next school year.”
“Yeah? You think they’ll hire you?”
“They’ve pretty much promised me a spot if I got my licensing in line. I’ve had the paperwork a while, but I was hesitant to commit.”
Holden flicked a glance at me before turning onto the blacktop. “Why is that? Not sure about giving up on St. Louis?”
“No, it’s not that.” I waved a hand. “I’d like to reconnect with my friends there. I’d like to get my stuff from the apartment and stop paying rent on it every month.”
“That seems reasonable,” Holden said. “We can take a road trip next weekend and go get your stuff. If you’re totally sure that’s what you want?”
“Of course it is. I want to be here with you, Holden. I love you. I love Riverton. The grade school is great. Working with the kids has made me so happy.”
“So, what was the hesitation, then?”
“I felt like no matter what I did, or how happy I was, I was biding my time until trouble caught up with me. I came here to lay low. It was supposed to be temporary, and now…”
“I really hope it’s permanent,” Holden said quietly.
“Me too,” I said softly. “I can take the job without worrying about my past catching up now. I can focus on my future.”
“Yeah? What sort of ideas do you have for this future of yours?”
“Well, the first step is to stop being a houseguest. I want to pay my share of expenses. I want to be a true member of this family.”
“Oh, is that all?” Holden patted my leg with a grin. “Don’t worry, Shy. You’re one of us, and with Bailey leaving for school this fall, we need someone to replace his share of the rent. Just don’t think you get to take his room. You’re stuck with me.”
“As if you could get rid of me,” I joked. “Not happening, Mr. Cross.”
“Thank fuck for that. I need you, Shy.”
Holden pulled the car alongside the curb in front of Riverton Grade School.
“You don’t need me, Holden,” I told him. “You could do this with someone else. But it means a lot that you’ve chosen me.”
I leaned in to give him a quick kiss and got out of the car. He lifted his hand in a brief wave and drove off.
Parker greeted me in the front hall, looking way too chipper for eight in the morning. The energy drink in his left hand might have something to do with that.
“Hey, Shy! Who are you covering today?”
“PE again,” I said with a groan. “But hopefully, it’s the last time!”
He raised his eyebrows. “I hope you haven’t decided to toss us over for a dream job where you get paid adequately for your skills.”
I laughed. “I’d never do that to you, Parker. But I guess my future plans depend on Principal Sheffield.”
“In that case, good luck. Though I doubt you’ll need it.”
I carried on down the hall.
“Mr. Blum, when will you be back to my class?” Amber Thurburg called after me.
“I don’t know, kiddo! But you can always say hi in the hall.”
Eric Teeter separated from his friends to give me a mischievous grin. “Where are you subbing today? I’ve got more dares for you!”
I pointed a finger at him. “I’m not falling for your trap again! My muscles are so sore.”
“I guess that’s what happens when you get old,” he said without an ounce of commiseration.
I laughed. “Okay, you’re gonna be sorry when you see me in PE today.”
His eyes lit up. “Yeah? Awesome. I can torment you some more.”
“Ha! I think I’ll do the tormenting today.”
I reached the office and stepped inside. The front desk clerk, Linda, was loading paper into the printer.
“Is Principal Sheffield busy?”
She glanced at the clock. “Not if you make it quick.”
“Will do.”
I rapped on Sheffield’s door, then stepped in when she called out a greeting.
“Good morning. I hope I’m not interrupting.”
She waved me into the chair in front of her desk. “I’ve just got to make announcements in a minute. What’s up?”
I took a seat. “I just wanted to let you know my licensing is all ready to go. If you all still want me, I’d love to take a position next year.”
She beamed. “Of course we still want you! This is great news, Shiloh. Just send everything over via email, and we’ll get the paperwork started.”
My stomach flipped. This was really it. The start of my future.
A home with Holden.
A family with his brothers and their boyfriends.
And a career that made my heart happy.
When a quiet lurker came to my camboy site, I never could have guessed where it would lead. But I was sure glad that out of all the sites on the internet, Holden had chosen mine.