13. Renée
13
RENéE
T he sun lowered on the horizon as we made it back to the hut. We had played in the surf, had sex, played some more, then had sex again.
Our weekend was coming to a close and I didn’t want it to end.
Regrets swirled around in my brain as we came up the stairs to the deck. Not for having indulged in a sexfest, but because C.T. had been right: I needed to take more time for me.
That point became more evident the closer it came to night. Going back to the daily grind and seminar circuit didn’t appeal as much as it had a few weeks before.
I mean, I loved my work. I thought my practices and programs had merit. People who took my seminars wrote testimonials saying how much I’d helped them. That was a good feeling. No other way to state that but as a bona fide truth.
But in doing so, I had lost myself along the way.
I preached all the time about life/work balance and had yet to put that into practice for myself. Getting in a few minutes of yoga or sitting in a room staring off into space everyday hadn’t done a thing to recharge me.
This had.
Being with C.T.
Spending time with someone who didn’t care if I was a superstar guru with a pathway to success in making life more meaningful. What were all those words if I didn’t take the time to do so myself? To practice what I preached?
When we got to the room, he took me by the hand and guided me into the bathroom. I stood behind C.T. as he turned on the shower then got inside, bringing me in the open stall with him.
I’d never had shower sex. I always found it extremely dangerous. How did people not fall and crack their heads open?
Natalia had mentioned one guy she’d met when we did a seminar in San Diego. She had brought him back to her suite—that connected to mine—and they had sex in every room of her suite. Including several times in the bathroom.
I had wondered at the time what I would have done had she fallen and needed medical attention. I mean, sure, our insurance policy would have covered the expenses. If not, I would have. It was more about the fallout from an incident. Shades of my parents’ influence had crept in, and I’d judged.
Wrongly so, but I had still judged.
I didn’t feel good about that now.
C.T. sat me on the shower bench and brought my backside to the edge. “Open your legs.”
The way he ordered me around when we were intimate excited me. It was good having someone be the boss for once.
I lifted my legs to put my heels on the edge of the bench and spread my thighs. “Like this?” I bit my lip and looked at him as if unsure.
His gaze went molten, and he stared at my sex. Then he took one of his thick fingers and slid it through my folds. I trembled. “Yes, just like that.”
He spread my lips and exposed my clit. “Do you know how fucking pretty that is?” His voice was low and husky.
“Why don’t you tell me?”
“I’d rather show you.”
He opened the shower door and scooped me up. A full-length mirror stood in the corner of the bedroom proper.
He set me back on the floor. “Stay right here.”
Wondering what he’d do next, I didn’t move but watched him as he brought one of the chairs from the sitting area over and placed it in front of the mirror. He sat down then pulled me around. “Sit down just like you were in the shower.”
After a few adjustments, I managed a close approximation of the position. My entire body was exposed when I opened my thighs.
C.T. made further adjustments to my nether regions. “See? Right there.” He touched my clit. “So, fucking pretty. So pink and wet.”
I swallowed. The wonder and awe in his voice didn’t sound staged. Made me wonder what other women looked like that he’d find my parts so fascinating.
Or maybe he felt that was part of what I’d paid for.
He ran his finger over me a couple of times, then dipped it inside me.
“I love watching you cum,” he whispered in my ear. “It’s like you’ve been given an unexpected gift you don’t think you deserve.”
My breath shuddered out of me. Those words hit so close to the bone.
“I want you to know that every orgasm you have for the rest of your life, either self-sought or given by a lover—you deserve it. You deserve to feel pleasure in everything. And your body was made for it.”
The words alone were enough to push me to the edge, the fact he worked me over with his fingers inside me and his thumb strumming my clit—it wasn’t long before I did exactly as he’d wanted.
I turned my head and found his mouth. He was hot and hungry in the kiss. He hadn’t removed his hand from me but continued easing me through the aftershocks.
He was hard against my back. I wanted to turn around and touch him the way he was me. To give something back. This weekend had been about him making me feel good, but what about him? I mean, I knew he had enjoyed it. We had the empty condom packages to prove it. At least he acted like it.
He seemed to.
Didn’t he?
I backed away from him, ending the kiss and looked into his eyes. His were closed, but he slowly opened them and stared at my lips.
“Have you enjoyed yourself this weekend?” I took a breath and tried to say it again, “I mean, was it good for you?”
C.T. bowed his head and placed his forehead against mine. “If it was any better for me, they’d have to carry me out of here on a medical transport.”
“Is there anything you’d like to do that we haven’t?”
The heat that flared in his eyes should have scared me, but oddly it didn’t. Excitement lashed my insides, and I clenched.
“Yeah, there is one thing.” He trailed his hands away from me and he nudged me a little to get me off his lap. “Stand up.”
I moved off him. He rose and found the robes where they’d been hung on a hook in the bathroom. He came back with only the belts.
Fear rose in my gullet at the same pace as excitement. “Wh…what are you going to do with those?”
“Come here and find out.”
I really wanted an explanation before this went any further.
But my treacherous legs took me straight to the lion’s den.