8. Amorette #2
“I won’t regret them saving you.” My voice wobbled, and he squeezed me tighter. “Just like I won’t apologize.”
“Just remember what I said.” He smoothed his jaw along the side of my head. Remember what he threatened.
What did that even mean, next time he’d do things his way?
“Did you all look for me?” I asked. My heartbeat, which hadn’t slowed, started to increase in tempo. It shouldn’t matter, but at the same time, I needed the validation that I hadn’t just been a problem they couldn’t wait to get rid of.
It was ridiculous that I’d even care so much. This was classic Stockholm Syndrome. I knew that and still needed to hear him say how much they wanted me back.
“Andre spoke to everyone he dared to, trying to figure out where you were…Then Matías called.” He sounded tired as he finally rested his head on the bed behind me.
What Andre confessed in the helicopter started to trickle back in as ice slipped down my neck.
“Andre said Vicente was after you all now.” Not exactly his words, but that was the gist of it. “Is that true?”
He grunted, and my heart sank. “Vicente’s playing his games. That’s what he does.”
I stared at the wall, bare except for a dresser and a darkly ethereal landscape portrait. That didn’t ring true. It didn’t even sound like Grey believed it. He was placating me, and for what? To keep me docile?
“But never with all of you. Not like this.” It was a statement.
“Vicente’s not happy with us right now.” He avoided the meat of the problem. Not voicing what their reality really was. Because I was an outsider?
That burned in a different way, and I wanted to bang my head against the wall. I couldn’t make sense of my own emotions because I was ecstatic to be back and hurt he wasn’t telling me the truth. Although I understood why he didn’t, it still fucking hurt.
It made me question everything.
“Why won’t you say that he’s trying to take you all down?” I whispered, anger winning out as my fingers bit into his arms.
“Because you don’t need to worry about that. It’s not going to touch you.” He sounded so sure. His voice was strong, with a thread of darkness weaving its way through.
Wasn’t it, though? If Vicente hurt them, I would go down with them. As collateral damage, if nothing else.
I squeezed my eyes shut, this time to attempt to block out the damning thoughts. For a week, I’d driven myself crazy thinking the worst had happened to Grey. He was here, alive, and plastered to my back. I needed to hold onto this reality–this pleasure.
But my brain couldn’t be controlled.
Grey couldn’t guarantee my safety. He couldn’t promise anything. Not when their world was full of backstabbers, killers, and manipulators.
Inky, horrible thoughts pelted me.
Would I be used against them again? I was self-aware enough to know when I was a liability. As much as it choked me to admit, Grey was right. I hadn’t been as vigilant as I should have been because I let myself get caught up in worrying over him.
If Vicente got to me once, there was no reason to think he wouldn’t target me again. And succeed.
Grace.
If not for them, I needed to think of my sister.
I sucked in a deep breath.
In the middle of a crime war, would my identity be safe? Would my sister?
A tear ripped through my heart. I’d gotten attached to this fucking asshole. I begrudgingly liked most of the brothers, even if I didn’t understand them. The more time I spent around them, the more I saw them as men just trying to do the best they could.
But I had to think about what this fight with Vicente would do to the one I loved the most.
“Grey,” I started, then paused. This was fucking hard after I’d worried about him so much. It felt so good to lie here with his steady heartbeat against my back.
“Hm,” he answered sleepily.
“I want to stay with Andre.” I held my breath as my words registered.
He stopped breathing, too. Shocked, I was sure, because there was absolutely no love lost between Andre and me.
“What did you say?” He couldn’t believe his ears. I almost laughed. “Why would you want to stay with that pendejo ?” Grey tightened his arms around my middle like he wouldn’t let me go.
Because he was my best chance to get accurate information and maybe even an ally to leave their lives.
It felt like a lie to my own ears.
“I don’t have to give you a reason. We’re not dating. This isn’t a fairytale.”
He laughed, and it was filled with a nastiness I hadn’t heard from Grey.
“You’re being fucking serious. You want me to take you to my brother with my cum leaking out of you?” He flexed his hips, pushing his half-hard dick further inside me to make his point.
I winced. But I wouldn’t be a liability to them. For all the doubt I had and the crimes I’d witnessed, they weren’t the bad men I had initially wanted to paint them. For their sake and mine, I needed to get away from them. Otherwise…
Shit, I didn’t want to think about worst-case scenarios.
He pulled out and shoved away from me. I almost mewed at the loss.
Raking his hands through his hair and pacing the room, our combined fluids drying on his cock, he laughed again. Then snarled, whipping his head back to me.
“No.”
I jerked my head back in shock. “No?”
“Why do you want to go to Andre? The fucking truth, Amorette.” He towered over me, a menace sliding through his gaze.
When I didn’t answer, he scowled. “You think we haven’t got your number?
You have a hero complex. Maybe even a martyr complex.
I don’t fucking know. But as soon as I confirm Vicente’s targeting us, you want to go to the brother who would kill you as easily as he would tie his fucking shoe?
” He shook his head. “And don’t think that’s still the case, mamí .
Andre was the one hunting for you. You won’t get what you’re looking for from him.
So, no. You’re not going anywhere. Especially drenched in me.
Lay the fuck down and go to sleep. After you’ve had a nap, maybe we’ll chat.
If you’re still spewing this bullshit, I’ll fuck you again.
And again and again, until you get it out of your estupido head that you can leave. ”
He stomped out of the bedroom and slammed the door.
I thought he would come back, but he didn’t. The longer he stayed gone, the more my stomach twisted into vile, furious knots.
His stinging accusations rang in my ears with every breath.
Yes, I wanted to help people. I wanted to make the world a better place. A lot of people did. That didn’t mean they had a hero complex. And making decisions based on the amount of trouble it would bring the people I cared about didn’t make me a martyr.
I groaned into the pillow. By the actual definition, I could see how I fit both on paper. But this wasn’t about saving other people. It was about saving them .
There was one last question on my tongue, but I never got to ask it. Grey would have laughed in my face, anyway. It was the only thing circling my mind as I fell asleep.
How was I going to fight when I didn’t even know the rules?