22. Lafe
LAFE
I spun back and forth in my living room chair as I clicked through the channels. I’d already gone through them a hundred times, but I went through them again. I wasn’t in the mood to watch anything; I just needed something to do.
My place felt empty, and the sounds from the teasers did little to fill it up.
Amorette had filled this place up with her energy, and at the time, I had thought it was ominous.
Whenever I closed my eyes, I expected her to sneak up on me, slash my throat from behind, or even–hell, I had no idea.
I was half delirious from the drugs. It had just been necessary.
It was pathetic how much she had scared me.
Now she was staying with Grey, and her absence left a hole. I wasn’t sure how to fill it. If I could fill it. Being sober put an entirely different spin on the experience I hadn’t been able to understand before.
“Thank you for saving me.”
If she’d said that in the beginning in the birdcage, everything could have been different.
Who was I kidding? I would have still thought she was our downfall. Whether she meant to be, or not. It practically took her risking her life and her freedom to chill my ass out where she was concerned.
And what did I do? I fell asleep with her on the couch. I wanted it. Practically salivated for it.
Even though I’d kept off the powder, I wasn’t sleeping well. Every night was a restless fight. I woke up reaching for her. Wanting her. And where was she? In my brother’s fucking bed.
Fuck, if Parker wasn’t right. It was my fault Grey had caught her.
“How much does it kill you to know Grey fucked her before you?”
I threw the remote against the wall. The plastic cracking into two pieces was slightly vindicating. I watched TV in the movie room when I wanted to relax, so what the fuck did this remote matter?
It did kill me that she was with Grey. I just didn’t know it at the time.
My phone buzzed, and I leaned over to see Andre’s name. I clicked the screen to find his message in the group chat.
Andre: We landed. Grey had another fit. V also showed up. Watch your backs.
Grey killed someone else, he meant. And where did he want us to watch our backs? Parker and I were both here, waiting for them to return.
Without hesitation, I shot up and raced toward our airfield. Like a bad withdrawal, I needed to see that Killer was all right with my own eyes. She struggled with the harsher side of our life, and neither Andre nor Grey would understand how that felt.
I understood her the best out of my brothers.
Parker met me in the hall. “Headed out to greet them, too?” He grinned.
Grunting, I walked faster. I wouldn’t let him bait me, which was exactly what his cruel ass wanted.
The compound was fairly empty inside. Most of our men had been put on rotation around the property, and the ones not on duty were getting sleep for their shift. Outside, a few of the men nodded, and most went about their work.
In the distance, the plane was already being deboarded. The men were whooping and chatting animatedly. That was a good sign. Our men didn’t get excited for no reason.
“I imagine the trip went well,” Parker said drily as we approached. He tried to play off his interest, but his eyes were too alight at the commotion.
I was too concerned with the door opening at the front of the plane to answer him. The fumes and heat were barely noticeable as the door pushed open and Grey appeared. His suit jacket was draped over his shoulder, and he held Amorette’s hand as she trailed behind him.
Faint blood smears stained her dress, probably a transfer from Grey.
It was hard to tell though, because my brothers had always learned to wear dark colors when leaving the compound.
There was always a chance of blood, and though we didn’t have to hide who we were in most places, we didn’t want to flaunt our crimes either.
She seemed okay. Happy even.
That wasn’t right. The last time she’d seen Grey pummel someone to death, it had torn her up for days. She’d locked herself in the birdcage. We’d had a brief but deep conversation about it in the movie room.
Killer sure hadn’t worn a serene smile on her face then as she toddled behind the best killer out of the four of us.
“You’re staring very hard there, hermano . You might want to blink,” Parker whispered in my ear.
I shot him a glare and started walking toward them again. At some point, I’d stopped, and Parker had to by default. Grey flicked his gaze to me and met me halfway. He used his hold on her to bring her closer to his body, until he wound his arm around her back and clutched her to his side.
She allowed it.
I saw nothing had changed since I’d seen her last.
“Let’s go to my place.” Andre stopped next to Grey, letting his fingers trail over Amorette’s shoulders.
Furrowing my brow, I gauged all their reactions. Grey either didn’t notice or didn’t care. I thought Amorette may have tensed, but if she did, her poker face was legit. No discomfort marred the sweet expression she was toting.
They started ambling as a cohesive unit, Andre even putting his hand on the small of Amorette’s back. I wished this was Andre taunting Grey, riling him up because he was so possessive. But…They didn’t even seem to notice each other.
As they left us standing in the middle of the men unloading the plane, I felt more like an outsider than ever. When did this happen?
How had this happened?
“That’s an interesting turn of events, don’t you think?” Parker clapped me on the back, but when I looked at him, he lost his typical shit-stirrer smile.
He was just as confused and disappointed by this new change as I was.
We followed behind them like kicked puppies until we reached Andre’s apartment. Inside, Grey and Amorette had already taken possession of the couch, and Andre was pouring everyone a drink. Amorette took a glass and sipped. Both Parker and I declined when Andre tipped the bottle our way in question.
“No one important died if you’re all this jolly on the return.” Parker perched on the arm of one chair, and I sat in the other.
That left the third spot on the couch or leaning against the wall. It wasn’t by design, except now that we were spread out like this, we needed to see where Andre went. Where did he feel he had a right to go?
Andre had never been a fan of Killer’s. He’d also never hidden it from her. What the hell could have happened for him to be so tactile with her?
My heart thumped harder in my chest as he took his glass and settled next to Amorette.
He didn’t touch her, didn’t close the space between them.
I let out a slow breath. There was a chance I’d imagined their exchange outside.
I could be seeing more than was really there.
I’d done it with Amorette previously. I could be doing it with the three of them now.
I wanted her so fucking much my teeth ached, and it wouldn’t surprise me if my brain was trying to self-sabotage me.
She released a stunned laugh as she leaned forward to place her mostly full glass on the coffee table. “The opposite, actually. The man who took me from the parking garage was there tonight. Grey killed him.” Amorette looked up at Grey with a dreamy smile tipping her lips, and I almost scoffed.
Why was she rewarding Grey for his usual deadly behavior? Grey would kill almost anyone for fun.
“How do you know he was the one who took you? I thought you didn’t remember anything about your abduction?” Parker asked pensively, rubbing his hand over his jaw.
“I didn’t. At least, not until I saw him.
The man who came with Vicente must have been following me.
I’d seen him both inside the courtroom and when I’d left that last night.
When he stood over me, I remembered seeing flashes of his face as I was carried somewhere.
I would say it was a coincidence, but him being there with Vicente was too obvious. ”
“What if you’re wrong? What if that man wasn’t the one who took you?” I asked. I didn’t want to make her second guess herself, but this was a complete one-eighty from her previous hang-ups.
Grey glared at me, but I kept mine locked on Amorette.
She shook her head like she wouldn’t even consider that. “I know my mind. I’ve seen him before, drugged or not. And if he’s with Vicente, then he’s no good. I don’t feel bad for his death.” Tipping her head slightly, she locked her jaw and met my stare head-on.
One side of Andre’s mouth tipped up into a self-deprecating smile. “Amorette, you do realize that we’re all with Vicente, even if we’re currently not in his favor?”
Shaking her head more firmly this time, she turned to Andre, her knees brushing against his thigh. Grey kept his arm looped around her waist but loosened his hold to allow her movement.
“That’s not the same. From the beginning, I could tell none of you reveled in the lives you’ve been given.
My hang-up was more that I…” her breath caught, “I was stuck in what right and wrong meant when I lived in a world that allowed me to be whoever I wanted to be. I know you four didn’t have a choice.
I know you aren’t any happier about growing up under a psychopath like Vicente.
But you’ve made the best of it. That man could have taken ten more girls since he took me.
A hundred. Who knows? If death is part of this life, I won’t feel guilty for the deaths that save the innocents.
And I won’t think poorly of any of you for delivering it. ”
A weight I hadn’t been aware of slowly slipped off my shoulders, and a relief spread warmth through my limbs to my fingers and toes.
Killer wasn’t addressing me. She might not be talking about me specifically; she sure as hell had never seen me kill.
Yet to know she was starting to understand we weren’t inherently evil just because of the family we were born into, put something back together inside me.
“Very touching,” Parker said with a smirk. When he started to continue, Andre got a call.