Chapter Twenty One #2
“You’re doing great,” he whispered. “Tilt your head back and let it fall in the water. I’m still holding your waist. Let your body float.”
“Do you know where I’m staying when I get to the ranch?” she asked.
“No. I’m sure Rebecca has a cabin ready, or you can stay with her or Rachel,” he suggested. “Have you spoken with them lately?”
“No. Victoria took up most of my time, and then I spent the rest with Dad,” she admitted. “I don’t want them to feel obligated to me.”
“They didn’t have to invite you to the shower. They want you there,” he pointed out. “Do you have other plans?”
“No. I’m not ready to go out on the town, and Dad tires easily. A quiet meal at home with my family feels like a dream come true. I never imagined spending another one with my dad,” she said, gripping his arm.
“What if you stayed a little longer at the ranch? We can go on a picnic in the meadow. The flowers have bloomed, and there’s a stream for the horses. Nancy can drive your dad to meet us,” he offered, keeping a firm hand on her waist, but moving a little farther away.
“He’ll have questions,” Caroline said. “I’m not sure I want him to see the cabins.
It’s one thing for him to know what happened, but some of the women experienced worse than me.
He’ll see them and picture me. I don’t want him to think of what happened to me.
Then, there’s the kids. I want to wrap my arms around them and squeeze them tight.
The men bother me most of all,” she confessed.
“Why?” he asked, curious as to why they bothered her.
“Because they peer at you with these haunted eyes. It’s like they’re saying, ‘I couldn’t protect myself, and I’m no longer a man’.
People easily accept the idea of women and children getting harmed, but a man gets judged and considered weak.
In all the time I spent with Cain, he took more pleasure in breaking a man’s spirit than in anything else. ”
“Cain’s nothing more than a savage animal. Decent humans don’t enjoy others’ suffering. It doesn’t matter how much worse one of you got it than the other. It’s a disgrace to mankind any of you experienced it,” Jameson said heatedly, making her open her eyes and stare at him.
“The not knowing makes it worse,” she admitted, reaching for his wrist.
“I’m right here,” he assured her. “What do you not know?”
“What will happen to me. Will I get a job after they ask why my resume remained blank for six years? How do I reconcile my past to have a future? I feel…stuck. I can’t go forward, and I never want to go back,” she confided.
“Therapy has taught me how to breathe through the panic attacks. It assures me it’s not my fault, but it can’t tell me how to live my life. ”
Jameson sighed and drew her close to him. “Because only you can decide your fate. You will make your own choices and have a damn good life.”
Caroline floated, letting his words sink into her soul.
When she went on with her future, where did it leave him?
Her eyes drifted to the stubble along his jaw, the tattoo on his neck, and the bulging muscles around his shoulders.
For months, they offered her a sense of security, a place of refuge from the storm.
As much as she longed to stay in his arms, Caroline knew his last name stopped her from dreaming of a life with him.
“You’re doing great,” he said, sensing her drifting away. “How about we turn on your belly and kick with your feet?”
She complied easily, not wanting to see his face, and his eyes seemed to guess what she thought.
“Good. Now move your arms,” he instructed. “Bend your elbow slightly and keep kicking.”
Caroline followed his instructions and found herself moving through the water with him, barely holding on to her. It made her excited and sad at the same time. She missed his touch, but eventually, he’d have to let go.
Jameson yanked her foot, sending the water around her swirling in her face. She panicked and stopped kicking, reaching for his arm. Caroline gulped a healthy dose of water, sending her into a coughing fit as his strong hands pulled her back into his embrace and rubbed her back.
“I’m sorry. You swam fast and headed toward the deep end. I didn’t want you to feel frightened,” he said, placing her on his knee while she sputtered and regained her breath.
“I’m done,” she choked out, pushing against him to stand in the water and heading for the stairs.
Jameson took her hand. “Wait. I want you to see something. We started here, and you made it to the middle. I barely held you, and you did it.”
“I did?” she asked, not believing him.
“Yes. It’s why I grabbed your foot. You shot off, I almost didn’t catch you,” he exclaimed.
“I really swam?” she asked, astonished.
“Yeah, Honeybee. I’m damn proud of you. One minute, you’re scared for your future. In the next, you’re running toward it,” he said, giving her a high-five.
Caroline jumped up and down in the water. Excitement ran through her at her accomplishment. Jameson never lied to her, even when it hurt.
“Can we do it again?” she asked, grinning.
“Hell, yeah. Seems like I got a baby SEAL on my hands. We call newbies squids.”
“Yuck. Men have the weirdest nicknames. Do you have a call sign like Julio, Rebecca, and Garrett?” she asked as she launched herself in the water, kicking her feet.
Jameson walked beside her, offering her a safety net.
“No. They’re earned. I never got one,” he informed her honestly. She heard the longing in his voice.
“When do you want to leave for the ranch?” she asked, changing the subject. “I’m already packed.”
“You’re on a roll. Let’s try something different.
We’ll start on the shallow end and swim to the other side.
Deeper water only means there’s more of it under you.
I won’t let you go under,” he promised, tugging her toward the wall.
“When you get there, hold onto the ledge and kick your feet. Then we’ll turn around and head back.
I’m sure you’ll want to shower and change before we go. ”
She pushed off the wall and kicked with all her might, moving her arms as he taught her. It appeared Jameson merely floated as he stayed by her side. Before she knew it, her hand touched the wall.
“I did it,” she exclaimed.
The patio door opened, and her father and Nancy joined them outside.
“I heard a ruckus coming from outside. I thought I needed to check on the two of you and see if Jameson needed help,” Thomas teased.
“She’s a handful, but I’m keeping her in line,” Jameson joked, earning him a glare from Caroline before she pushed off and started kicking.
“Race ya,” she yelled when she made it almost halfway across.
“You cheated,” he called, before darting into the water, catching up to her.
Caroline refused to let him win and tried splashing water in his face as he drew closer.
“Why you, little vixen,” he said, laughing as he grabbed her foot and held on to it, careful not to yank it.
“Hey, you can’t hold on to me to keep me from winning,” she yelled.
“I can when you cheat,” he argued, grabbing her by the waist.
She squealed and laughed as he narrowed his eyes, pushing himself closer to the edge. Caroline leaped toward the wall, pushing his shoulders and extending her arm to touch the wall.
“I won,” she announced as Nancy and Thomas clapped and cheered.
“You clearly cheated,” he deadpanned. “Do you ever play fair?”
“Only when it counts,” she said, beaming. She climbed out of the pool, grabbed a towel, and wrapped it around her while she walked toward Thomas.
“Did you see I beat a Navy SEAL?” she asked her dad. “Maybe I should join the Navy…our country needs strong women.”
“I see he’s met his match,” Thomas replied with his eyes sparkling.
Caroline watched as Jameson climbed out of the pool. He stalked toward the towel while his eyes remained glued to her. Warmth filled her belly, and her heart raced as he promised her retribution.
“Jameson, there’s another shower in the guest bedroom of the pool house if you want to get cleaned up,” she suggested. “I’ll come say goodbye before I leave.”
“Take your time,” Thomas encouraged her, watching Jameson. He waited by the patio door until she approached and slid it open for her.
“You did an awesome job today. Swimming’s a great low-impact way to build muscle and increase your endurance. You’re still new to it. Always make sure someone’s with you,” he warned as they entered the living room.
“I will. You’ll find towels in the cabinet, and it already has soap and shampoo. I’m surprised Dad even stocked this place. Then again, this house doesn’t fit him. Maybe my years away changed him, too,” she remarked as she stared down the hall.
“Do you think he doesn’t like it?” he asked, glancing toward Thomas and Nancy.
“No. It’s lovely. It might be Nancy’s influence.
My dad refused to sell our house to a realtor who once made him an offer.
He said we made our best memories there.
Of course, the neighborhood has gone downhill, and I looked it up on a real estate site.
It’s beyond repair,” Caroline informed him.
“I haven’t broached the topic yet, but I’m worried he spent his life savings searching for me. ”
“Under the circumstances, do you think you’d do any less for your daughter?” he asked gently.
“I’d go to my grave searching to the end of the earth to find her,” she vowed. “They stole my innocence. If it happened to my children, I’d want revenge.”
“I feel the same way about you,” he murmured, cupping her face. “The Feds have Cain in sight, but if I got the chance, I’d pay him back for all the terrible things he put you through.”
Caroline held on to his wrists. “Thanks. But I’d rather do it myself.”
Their gazes met, and Caroline licked her lips as Jameson leaned in, planting a soft kiss on her mouth.
“I’d hold him down and let you at him,” he whispered, meaning every word.