Chapter Thirty #2
Rebecca sighed. “When you’re on a team, you must trust everyone to have your six.
Jameson joined the men under false pretenses because James gave him his version.
You must keep in mind, Jameson seemed desperate for his dad’s approval after his half-brother, Phillip’s death.
After spending time with the team and guarding Kassie, he saw how the family watched out for one another.
He realized James lied to him. Jameson put him off, trying to figure out a way to tell the team the truth.
James double-crossed him and took things into his own hands, which led to Kassie and her daughter getting kidnapped, and Samantha and her son getting held hostage.
Jameson suffered a huge injury. We didn’t think he’d make it.
Despite infections, setbacks, and the team, Jameson made it.
The women sent him packages and letters, but the men felt a bit differently.
You can’t trust a man who lied to his teammates.
Trust can make or break a team. I know Jameson feels bitter, but Leo did him a favor.
Instead of sending him packing, he gave him another chance here. ”
“So, he could start over?” Caroline asked.
“Jameson needed to prove himself. He’d only get the chance on a different team,” Rebecca explained.
“They don’t hate him?” she asked
“No. If Leo held any hard feelings, Jameson wouldn’t be here.
It’s about finding out where he belonged,” Rebecca assured her.
“James did a lot of damage to him as a boy. How do you think Jameson might have felt if he spent days with people second-guessing him? Julio took him on, and he’s never let the team down. ”
“What’s the problem?” Rachel asked. “Did something happen?”
Rebecca gazed at Caroline. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. Sometimes it’s nice to have friends as sounding boards.”
“As you know, I discovered the situation about the house yesterday. Nancy plans to pick up the rest of her things today. I accused Jameson of lying to me and told him I’d never get over what his dad did because his action reminded me of him.
He even reminds me of James. I know in my head he isn’t, but I can’t separate the two. I hurled horrible things at him.”
“Oh, no,” Riley breathed.
“I know,” Caroline said. “I’m angry about my dad, and why did Jameson have to be James’ son? It makes this whole situation complicated. I don’t have a job. It’s my second chance at life, and I already screwed it up,” she admitted as tears streamed down her face.
Delaney waved her hand in dismissal. “Oh, good grief. Did you imagine everything to turn out sunshine and roses?”
“When did you have your last counseling session?” Rebecca inquired.
Caroline bowed her head. “I haven’t returned since the incident with Terry.”
“Geez,” Rachel face-palmed herself. “No wonder you went off on poor Jameson. You can’t sort out all these feelings on your own. As your friends, we can only take you so far. You’ve experienced a ton of trauma and need professional guidance.”
“I tried to apologize, but he walked out,” Caroline informed them.
“After he spanked your ass,” Rachel said, laughing. “Honey, I’ve walked in your shoes. I know why you’re shifting your butt cheeks.”
“I’m mortified. He flipped me over like a child and…spanked me,” Caroline cried in disbelief and embarrassment.
“Did he have your permission?” Rebecca asked immediately, as her eyes narrowed.
“He said he’d give me what I needed. I thought… he meant sex,” she admitted. “I gave him full permission.”
Rachel leaned in. “Matthew spanked me after I dared him. It hurt like hell. Thinking back, I totally deserved it.”
“He should do it a couple more times,” Delaney muttered under her breath, making the women laugh.
“It’ll be hard to see him face-to-face. I’m embarrassed,” she confessed. “I don’t know if he’ll ever forgive me. I called Matthew and asked to speak to Jameson, and he said he’d give him the message.”
“Julio, Garrett, and Jameson worked the fields today and moved the cows to the south pasture,” Delaney volunteered. “Mac and Spider will watch you until they’re done.”
“Jameson’s words sounded final,” Caroline said. “I hurt him, and I don’t know how to fix it.”
“Girl, I’ve stood in your shoes. I hurt Matthew. It’s a long story, but I broke his trust. I came here to fix it because I loved him. Man, he’s one stubborn man. If I can do it, you can too,” Rachel encouraged.
“You have Jameson’s number. He may not reply right away, but he’ll see your text. Why don’t you tell him you want to meet and apologize in person?” Riley suggested. “He’s not an unreasonable man.”
“They’re in the south field. Sometimes cell service can be spotty. Don’t freak out if you don’t hear back right away,” Delaney warned her.
“You might want to have a plan of action,” Rebecca advised.
“Getting back into counseling might help with some of those issues. As for a job, I offered you one. Your actions must come from the heart. Jameson knows you’ve suffered a rough blow.
He’s spent a lot of time convincing you of the man he wanted to be for you.
Maybe it’s time you showed him what you want?
If you’re not sure, you can communicate it or take some time apart. ”
The idea of not seeing Jameson hurt more than she cared to admit.
“I miss him already,” she said quietly. “I’m not sure what to do.”
“We can’t tell you,” Delaney said. “Only you know how you feel. I’m guessing you have a bunch of frazzled nerves, you’re upset about your dad, and you took a chunk out of Jameson’s hide.
You’re probably experiencing some fight or flight mode.
Talk to him and show him you really mean what you say.
It’s not fair to blame him for James’ actions.
But at the same time, it’s gotta be hard to have feelings for his son.
You must figure out a way to separate the two before you can move forward, or I’m afraid you’ll be doomed from the start. ”
“Nancy will arrive shortly. Do you think I can come to the ranch and talk to him after she leaves?” Caroline asked, searching their faces to see if it might be a bad idea.
Rebecca smiled and patted her hand. “Now, you’re thinking. I’m sure it’ll be a nice change to see you there. I’m heading home to shower and nap. I’ll let Mac and Spider know your plans.”
“Come on, Delaney. Mac’s about to have a stroke if I don’t get you closer to home.
Go potty like a big girl because we both know how you feel about public bathrooms,” Rachel said, shaking her head.
“The woman will drop trow in a cornfield where snakes, spiders, and who knows what else, can bite her ass, but she fears public restrooms.”
“They’re nasty,” Delaney said, getting up and heading toward the bathroom. “Keep it up, cupcake, and I’ll tell Matthew what you’re really up to.”
Rachel rolled her eyes as she hugged Caroline. “We’ll see you soon. You know we’re a short drive away.”
“Yeah,” she said, knowing they’d be there for her.
Riley hugged her. “You’ve got this, Caroline. If I thought Jameson acted in any way like his father, I wouldn’t trust him with my sister or myself. He’s a good man and deserves your love.”
“Thanks,” Caroline said. “I hope he feels the same way.”
“Give him some time,” Rebecca said, squeezing her hand. “He tried to give you the same. Unfortunately, Thomas passed, and it sent your world into a tailspin. You’ll find a way to work it out. You’re a smart woman.”
“All right, I’m ready. Let’s go,” Delaney declared, winking at her. “This kid keeps bouncing on my bladder like a trampoline.”
Caroline held the door open for them to leave.
She dashed to her closet, found an outfit, and jumped into the shower.
Her heart raced as she considered the discussion with her friends.
Jameson succeeded in convincing her, but she didn’t reciprocate it.
She treated him like his old team. He probably felt used and unwanted, making her heart ache.
They may have had their reasons, but it still hurt, nonetheless.
Caroline rushed to get dressed as an idea formed in her mind. She’d have to dig up all the courage she could muster to make it work. If she wanted Jameson, she’d have to swallow her pride and convince him of how much she wanted him.