Chapter 18
EIGHTEEN
HARLEY
I look at myself in the mirror, but as much as I want to cringe, my mind can’t even tell my face to do it because I feel so damn lost. My dad has been in the hospital for a few weeks now, and even though I want to fly home and see him, I don’t have the extra cash.
The money I get paid from my social media only goes so far, and a ticket to Montana from Massachusetts isn’t exactly cheap.
So, I’m here, dressing up to go to a stupid Halloween party, when I should be there for my mom, sitting next to my dad and holding his hand.
Even if he’s not really with it, I could still be there for the both of them.
Instead, I’m here, being selfish and chasing my dreams while the man who made this dream even a possibility is lying hopeless in a bed.
Barging into my room without warning is none other than Haven, dressed as a sexy sheriff. One look at me and she whistles. “I knew when I bought this, it was the perfect costume for us.”
I look down at myself, dressed as a jailbird, and I grimace. “I don’t know if perfect is the word for this, Haven.” In the mirror, I turn slightly, poking my butt out. “I can practically see my ass.”
“Welp, the hot pitcher will be thanking me for that then.” She winks before walking over to me and slapping me on my ass, making me cry out.
“Ouch, you jerk! Why would you do that so hard?!” I pout, rubbing my butt cheek with my palm. “Pretty sure you just left a mark.”
“Maybe Baseball Boy can put his own mark there later,” she coos before reaching for my hair and tousling it a bit.
“Which, by the way, why won’t you give me the inside scoop on whatever is going on between the two of you?
” Her eyes grow wide, and she smirks. “And is his dick as big as I can only assume it would be?”
Shoving her lightly, I scowl. “Haven, shut up! I’ve told you, Cane and I are friends. His willy could be huge, or it could be the size of a caterpillar. Either way, I don’t know and don’t want to!”
“Just say dick, Harls,” she snaps. “It’s way hotter than willy.”
I adore Haven, but she’s bold. She’s outgoing and confident.
Not just on the field like I am, but around guys and at parties too.
She is unapologetically herself, and I love it.
While we have become close since we both got to NEU last year, there’s something she doesn’t know about me.
And that’s … even if he had a big … dick …
I wouldn’t know how to judge because I’ve never seen one before.
I may be a virgin, but I don’t really want it broadcasted for the entire campus to know.
Not that I think Haven would tell anyone—I know she wouldn’t.
But it’s something I keep to myself. I’m not ashamed of it, and I’m also not saving myself for marriage either.
I just … I don’t know. I guess, in high school, I was so laser-focused on being good enough at softball to play in college.
And now that I’m here, I haven’t gotten close enough with a guy to give up my V-card.
Though I might have fantasized about a certain baseball player last night when I was alone in my bed …
But that’s normal. It doesn’t mean anything, I’m sure. It can’t mean anything because I still don’t have time to date or fall in love. Where would that fit between softball, classes, and my father being sick?
Exactly … no where.
“I don’t even know if he’s going to be there tonight.” I think back to our text convo the other day and what he told me about what he does for Halloween, and I try not to smile because it’s so cute and totally unexpected. “He passes out candy to trick-or-treaters at his mom and dad’s house.”
With her eyes wide, she gawks at me. “Seriously?” When I nod, she repeats the word once more. “Seriously?”
“Yep.” I bob my head up and down. “I know. For a guy who spray-painted another team’s dugout, I wouldn’t have expected it myself.”
Haven comments something like, if I don’t tackle him, she will, but my mind gets lost in the image of Cane Hale in his NEU baseball hoodie and hat, handing out candy to random kids on his parents’ porch.
Now, that’s a picture that would save him on social media.
Although people seem to really be laying off. And I don’t think it has much to do with me. I think they’ve just found someone else to go after because that’s how the world works.
Grabbing my phone, I exhale. “Let me just look at my level, and then I’ll be ready to go.”
Once I check everything over, I start toward the hallway, and Haven follows me out of my room.
“I just have to grab my phone; it’s charging in my room, and then let’s go!” she says, sprinting past me like she’s headed to shortstop and this is a game.
The house has been on the quieter side, especially since there’s a huge Halloween party happening at The Lookout tonight.
I haven’t even seen Isla today. I’m sure she’s off somewhere with Hendrix Hunt, her new boyfriend.
A few of the girls who live here already left for the party, but I knew Haven would take forever to get ready, so I took my sweet-ass time.
I called my mom and checked in back home too. And now I just feel … off.
I’d give anything to pick up the phone and talk to my dad right now.
I’d skip this party to tell him about practice today and how much my hitting velocity has improved since last year, but when I spoke with my mom earlier, he wasn’t feeling up to talking.
In fact, he was just sleeping, like he has been for nearly two weeks.
“All right, babes!” Haven says, appearing from her room. “Let’s go.”
I start to turn toward the door when movement from the top of the stairs stops me. Savannah peeks down at us over the railing, wearing a Lola Bunny costume.
“Hey, can I walk over with you guys?” she calls down. “Kali left already.”
“Sure!” Haven says, looking her over. “You look fucking adorable, by the way.”
“You really do,” I add because she does.
I’m over here, dressed like I’m headed to jail. Meanwhile, she’s the cutest Lola Bunny I’ve ever seen. It’s fitting, too, because Savannah is on the NEU women’s basketball team. A point guard, I think.
“Thanks!” she says cheerfully as she gets to the bottom step.
Savannah is insanely pretty. She has blonde hair, golden skin like the sun kissed it, and ocean-blue eyes. The opposite of me with my red hair and green eyes. She’s certainly taller than Haven and me too. But, I suppose, to play basketball at a Division 1 college, she’d have to be tall.
As we all make our way out the door and head down the road, I try to shake off whatever mood I’m in.
Boring as it probably makes me sound, I don’t like parties. They’re too loud. Too crowded. And there’s always too many smells floating through the air, and I find it repulsive.
My eyes sweep the room, and I hate that I’m looking around for Cane as much as I am. He already told me he had plans, but he did also say he may swing in later.
Haven is in the middle of the dance floor, turning heads from the way her body moves to the music. With a cup in her hand, it’s clear she’s drinking, and I make a mental note to make sure she gets home safely tonight, even if a big part of me wants to take off.
Her eyes find mine, and right away, a grin spreads across her face, and she comes over and hauls me out onto the makeshift dance floor with her.
Despite not loving parties, I’m a pretty good dancer, and the best part is, I don’t even need liquid courage either.
I’d just much rather dance in my room, alone or with my friends, than at this party, surrounded by all these drunk people.
But oh well, I guess. I told my friend I’d come here tonight and make the best of it, so here I am.
A group of us girls dance. And song after song, if I can just block out the fact that I’m the world’s worst daughter, I’m enjoying myself a little bit. That is, until a pair of lips is right by my ear, and suddenly, my entire body freezes up.
“If all criminals looked like you, I’d throw myself in jail tomorrow,” drawls in my ear.
Right away, I practically leap forward to put some distance between myself and whoever the hell that is.
I crane my neck to look at him, and it’s a dude with brown hair and perfectly manicured facial hair. His eyes are glassy, and I’m not sure if it’s from alcohol or something more potent.
He simply smirks at me before reaching forward and resting his hand on my waist. “Fuck, sweetheart. This jailbird costume? It’s doing things to my dick.”
“Excuse me?” I growl, pure anger laced in the two small words.
“Come on,” he coos. “You’re wearing that.” He waves to my costume. “And you’re out here, shaking your ass for everyone in this room to see. I know what you’re looking for.”
I’m not scared of him because I guarantee I could lay him the hell out if he tried to touch me.
I’m stronger than he is, I have no doubt.
But the crude things he just said? And the way he’s looking at me, raking his gaze over my body like I’m just a display free to ogle, has my stomach turning and me almost frozen in time.
But when his hand slides to my ass, I snap out of it fast.
Fury floods my veins. Within a split second, I reach my arm back to land a punch right on his nose, but before I make contact, he’s down on the ground with a thud. Cane steps in front of me, looking over the guy he just laid out before turning toward me.
“You good, Catch?” he says, sweeping his eyes over me, but not in the way the scumbag was looking at me. No, Cane is looking to see if I’m okay.
“I’m fine,” I utter quickly, slightly irritated that it wasn’t me who got to teach that son of a bitch a lesson when I know I’m plenty capable.
“Good,” he whispers before his body turns away from me.
“Get the fuck out of here, asshole,” he growls at the guy as he quickly scurries to his feet. “Or you’ll be leaving in a fucking body bag, I promise.”