Chapter 24
Cook
Midnight church. Shit, maybe we should call this one midnight mass.
This had to be a first: a limo in Park Ridge. The long and sleek black limo didn’t fit into the landscape of motorcycles and beat-up, rusted cars. The driver followed my orders all the way to Bou’s shop, not that I wanted to get Bou involved.
“Wait here,” Massimo ordered his goons and then stepped out.
Snakes had his gun tucked away, and when he moved his jacket aside to hand me back my cell phone, I glimpsed the snake whip coiled at his waist. He would pull that out or his gun if I got out of hand.
Outside of Bou’s shop, motorcycles and cars were lined up. I spotted Celt’s bike and Lanie’s Mini Cooper—strange that he was driving that rather than on Night Owl.
“Don’t make any trouble,” called Snakes from behind me.
“I thought that was what you liked,” I muttered.
“This is just business,” said Massimo in a calming voice. It grated against my ears. “This can be peaceful.”
Nothing about this fucked-up situation seemed peaceful.
The shop door opened, and Celt poked his head out. Immediately, he narrowed his eyes on Massimo and Mercer, and then his gaze met mine. I didn’t say anything, but his hand had already disappeared behind his back for his gun.
I raised my hand. No shoot out. Not yet.
We might win this fight—with the number of bikers inside for church—but a gunfight now would launch a war between the MC and Mafia. Plus, I wanted to return to Maddie safe and sound. And we had a pregnant lady nearby. I fucking hoped Bou wasn’t there for church too.
“Get inside,” muttered Celt, swinging the door open and then stalking inside.
Like a good gentleman, I held the door for Massimo and Mercer and then stepped inside, letting it slam shut.
Inside Bou’s shop, Wilde, Angel, Celt, and Bou waited. Wilde lingered halfway in front of Bou, but Bou stood in her own right, eyeing Massimo and Mercer with interest and hooded concern. I could almost hear questions flying at me telepathically.
What was the Mafia doing in our territory? Why had I brought them here?
If our arrival like this wasn’t enough, they’d abducted my mother and threatened Maddie.
“I didn’t know that was your limo I passed when coming down from Phoenix,” said Celt.
“Was that you and Roni riding past?” I asked, trying to keep my voice light.
“Yeah. I dropped her off at your place,” said Celt, like we were talking as old friends catching up.
“Maddie’s there? Safe?” Maybe it was a good thing Roni was there for her.
Celt nodded stiffly.
Angel stepped up to my side. “Lanie’s there too.”
“Good deal.” I blew out a deep breath.
I’d probably have a lot more to say about it if we were in any other situation, but Maddie would be safer there with a trained FBI agent, even if Lanie had turned down the appointment in favor of staying with the club. Lanie wouldn’t let anything happen to her sister. Roni could help too. Maddie needed help after what I did to her.
Hell, I had a lot to make up to my girl.
I walked over and budged my way between Wilde and Celt, placing a hand in the center of Celt’s chest. “Guys, let me introduce our honored guests. Massimo Parisi and Sloan”—I looked Celt square in the eye and emphasized the pseudonym—“‘Snakes’ Mercer.”
Celt lunged, but I flexed to hold him back, a low rumble in his chest buzzing against my palm.
Willing him to understand that there was something else at play, I mouthed, “Give it a minute.”
Blue flames blazed in his glare and his ruddy brows pulled downward into a scowl, but he didn’t charge. Better, though, he didn’t pull his gun and blow the motherfucker away.
“Thank you all for coming out in the middle of the night,” said Massimo, his voice seeming to try to diffuse tension, “and on such short notice.”
Parisi narrowed his gaze on Bou, even as Wilde lingered in front of her. Since Celt stood down, I turned around, so my shoulder lined up with my brother’s, facing Parisi.
He continued, “I wasn’t aware MCs allowed pregnant women at church.”
“I’m a patched member,” said Bou.
“I don’t doubt it with how your father ran the club.” Massimo appraised the surroundings. “Tragic what happened to Ronan.”
Bou growled, and Wilde held her back.
I lowered my chin and smiled. Only a man with a death wish would mention her Pops’ demise in Bou’s presence.
“No offense.” Massimo held up both hands as though to make peace. “I have a business proposition to discuss.”
Celt whispered to me, “I’ve got one for him too.” His eyes burned into Snakes.
I crossed my arms over my chest. “Not yet,” I shot back.
Already, the MC was getting antsy, and it would only get worse if Massimo didn’t get to his damn point.
“What’s the catch?” asked Wilde.
“He’s got my mom,” I grumbled. “We all know la Famiglia doesn’t start business deals without leverage.” It was why we’ve never made deals with the Mafia.
“See,” said Massimo, spreading his hands. “We have a mutual understanding of each other.”
Celt blew out a deep breath, and Bou shot me a look from the corner of her eyes. I kept my face like stone, thankful that he didn’t have Maddie, but I didn’t know how long I could hold Celt back.
“I hated to have to go to such lengths, but you’ll understand that I needed a little insurance policy,” said Massimo. “You see, I’m here to ask your help in taking down the Gambinos.”
Angel inhaled sharply, and Wilde threw out his arm to keep the man from launching into action.
“As I thought,” said Massimo. “Together we can greatly reduce your issues. I know the Gambinos have been up your ass recently. It’s a bad habit, really. They like to put their noses in business that isn’t theirs.”
“Stand down,” Wilde said to Angel then faced Massimo again. “I can see how this might help us—big might. We’ll get back to that, but what do you get out of it?”
“To start, I become Don.” Massimo clapped his hands together, and his Don ring glowed in the light.
“In that case,”—I pointed at his hand—“isn’t that ring a bit premature? Maybe like your ejaculation?”
Massimo gave me a crooked smile but didn’t miss a beat in the convo. “My capos insisted.” He moved closer to Wilde, letting his eyes fall to his Prez patch. “It’s authority given, not taken. Much like the rank you wear. No?”
A muscle ticked in Wilde’s jaw. “Go on.”
“It’s simple, really. I get la Famiglia out of your business. You let us transport guns across the border.”
“Fuck that!” barked Celt. “We’ll end up the target of the fucking ATF.”
“Of course, we’ll make it well worth the effort. You’ll profit nicely by allowing us to transport guns to the Jalisco Cartel without interference.” He shrugged. “It’s a fair deal.”
“Bullshit,” snapped Angel, shaking back his dark hair, while Celt still seethed at Snakes.
Massimo narrowed his eyes on Angel and Celt. “Keep your dogs on a leash, Wilde.”
Wilde stepped back, allowing Angel to have the floor, and that alone gave me a bit more respect for the man. His subtle message didn’t escape Parisi’s notice either, and I smirked.
Angel stepped forward. “A cut of your gun-running money isn’t e-fucking-nough.”
Parisi appraised the man, glancing back to see if Wilde might step in. When he didn’t, Parisi said, “Then name your price.”
Angel’s nostrils flared, but he stood taller. “You want our help to take down the Gambinos, the trafficking stops. No more enslaving the Kwatsaan people. No more selling them for sex.”
Bou added, “Better yet, no trafficking humans. At. All.”
Massimo huffed, like this was a hardship. They had literally stolen kids, used them, sold them like animals. They were caging these people for sex and the devil only knew what else.
Caging. Fuck. I swiped a hand through my hair. That’s why cages were on Maddie’s off-limits list. Disgust curled in my belly over what had happened to Maddie and others. My hands balled into fists, ready to attack.
“Fine,” agreed Massimo, “but—”
“Nah,” barked Celt. “Still not good ’nough. We get him.” Celt raised his hand and pointed at Mercer, fingers cocked like a pretend gun.
The weasel’s eyes went wide, and he pushed the glasses up the bridge of his nose.
“Not so smart now, huh?” I smirked in his direction. “Betcha wish you were staring down one of my stupid shirts now.”
Massimo threw out a hand as though he’d hold Snakes back, but Mercer slunk behind him. Fucking coward.
“As I was saying,” Massimo said. “I have one more stipulation.”
I ground my teeth. Weren’t we risking enough by agreeing to aid in arms trafficking?
“In the Mafia, we make family bonds to seal deals,” said Massimo. “I propose two—a marriage, of course. And the second would be an officer’s position in your little club.”
“Who the fuck for?” snapped Wilde.
“My little brother. He rides, and he’s a bit lost after his return from the war zone.”
Wilde and Angel shared a look as Celt and I stared Snakes down. I needed to be sure he kept his hands clear of that whip. He had been too quiet, and I didn’t know how. From what I’d seen of him so far, the man liked to hear himself speak.
Sloan Mercer, however, smirked at me over Parisi’s shoulder, as if this was all a fun game. But I had a sneaking suspicion we were going to spill his blood before this night ended.
“We need to discuss first,” said Wilde as The Ridge MC Prez, and Celt bobbed his head.
“Of course,” said Massimo. “And for intruding on your meeting, I’ll invite you to a meeting with the Capos.”
“And my mother?” I asked.
“She’ll be at the penthouse when you arrive,” said Massimo. He placed a card on the island in the kitchenette and backed toward the door. “She’ll be safe until then and well-cared for by my medical team. Assuming all goes well, you have my assurance you can take her home once we’ve arrived at an agreement.”
I didn’t believe she was well for a second. “How the fuck am I supposed to trust that?”
“I’ll have her give you a call when I’m back in Vegas. Fair?”
Shoving my hands into my hair and pulling, I worked to calm myself. I was proving to be quite the failure tonight. It was my job to protect both Mom and Maddie, and I’d fucked up on both accounts. Mom was probably freaking out and diving into her cooking routine. They had probably thrown off her whole schedule, and she was likely obsessing over what little she could still control.
“Fair,” I vaguely heard Celt’s voice answer on my behalf.
“Have a good night,” said Massimo, and he and Mercer started for the door.
That’s when I heard the click.
The safety on Celt’s gun—off.
“He stays or no motherfucking deal.”
Wilde took a step back, deferring to Celt.
Massimo stepped to the side and Mercer turned to push through the swinging door from Bou’s kitchenette into her shop. Celt lowered his aim and shot the weasel in the knee. Screams and moans rolled through the shop as Snakes fell on the other side of the swinging door.
“Enjoy your torture,” Massimo said and strolled out through Bou’s back door. The door slammed and rattled shut.
“You’re welcome,” I said to Celt, and he smiled as he stepped toward the shop.
“No mess in my shop,” Bou called after him, rolling her eyes.
There was already gonna be blood on her shop floor, but it’d be better if we could run him out into the desert before really bleeding him.
“Lemme call Doc,” I told Celt before he swung open the door. “Then I’ll be right there to help.”
Angel stalked over to the door, watching the limo pull away from the shop, and Wilde ordered, “Angel, call Sas. Have him get his ass down here at dawn. Teller and Graff too. As for the rest of us,”—Wilde swung his gaze to Bou and then everyone gathered—“we should sleep and figure out this shit in the morning.”
Maddie
In the morning, I woke in Cook’s bed without him there. I ran my hand over the depression in the bed where he had been. He had come home in the wee hours of the morning, riding in Angel’s car and followed by Celt. I’d basically thrown myself into Cook’s arms and apologized. I hadn’t cared that my sister or Roni had watched the whole thing with wide, wondering eyes.
But Daddy didn’t want to hear my apologies.
He’d tucked my hair behind my ears and said, “Maddie, this is all my fault. I’ve been trying to learn, but it’s hard. I’m so, so sorry I fucked up.”
“It’s not your fault either.” I had cupped his bearded face, holding his eyes with mine until he seemed to understand. “I just needed to see you, but I lost control.”
His lips had seized mine then, and when he pulled back, all he said was, “I know that now, and I’ll remember.”
He understood he should keep my eyes on him, like he always said, and that healed another little piece of me. It had been exactly what I needed.
We had fallen asleep in his bed, curled together, as Celt and Roni shared my bed and Angel and Lanie crashed on the pull-out couch.
This morning, though, sound echoed from the kitchen, pots and pans, and the smell of sizzling meat and cooking eggs rose. I took a deep breath, my stomach grumbling. Last night’s coffee and worry had soured my stomach, and while I was hungry now, I didn’t want to leave this bed. I was too tired. Rolling over, I buried my head in Cook’s pillow and took a deep breath.
The sound in the kitchen continually grew louder, so I pushed myself out of his bed. One of his t-shirts rode up my thighs, and I pulled out the hem to read the upside-down words scrawled across the front: If you can read this, you’re sitting on my face.
Damn, how I wish that were true right now. I recalled how his wicked tongue felt against my clit and—no, if I thought about that, I’d be fingering myself in no time.
Bou’s clothes were nice, but after sleeping in Daddy’s T-shirt, I always wanted to wear his clothes to bed. I thought I might just live in his shirts now, but then I recalled what he’d purchased for me. He liked me in frilly, girlie dresses. Polka-dots, roses, and heels if I wasn’t wearing riding boots. Maybe I’d just live in his shirts at night.
As I pulled on a pair of shorts, my eyes drifted over to the basket in the corner, and I cursed. I needed to do his laundry today to keep up. He’d been so thrilled to see his shirts folded nicely in his dresser, and I always wanted to see him that happy.
Voices bubbled out from the kitchen as I opened the bedroom door, stepping out into a scene with Cook over the stove while Roni and Mel sat at the two-person table. Celt and Angel stood near the window sipping coffee.
All the laughing and conversation stopped when I emerged from the room, like I was their mom and they needed to hide.
Roni whispered, “I told you we would wake her up.”
“I was already getting up,” I lied, waiting back by the door, but then Cook held out his arm. I ran toward him, burying myself in his chest and his body. I took a deep whiff of him—so much better than the bed—and he kissed the top of my head. There was nowhere else I wanted to be.
Relaxing now that I had him back, I smiled at Roni. “It smells wonderful.”
Cook chuckled, no matter how forced it felt. He was like stone under my touch, and he’d been that way since returning in the wee hours of the morning. I wrapped my arms around him, hoping I could ease whatever worried him like his touch made me relax.
Something had happened that he wouldn’t share with me, but I hadn’t told him what happened to me either. I didn’t want to keep it away from him, but I didn’t know what to say about Massimo. I curled into him more, and he tightened his hold on me.
“Are you okay?” he whispered.
“I am with you,” I murmured. And I would be better later, after everyone left. I didn’t want to think about last night. “I can help you with breakfast.”
He shook his head. “Grab some plates and set the table outside.”
I frowned. “You had a long night. Let me take care of you.”
“I’m fine,” he said in a terse voice.
He was hiding something from me. Something big.
“Set the table and sit down, Maddie,” he said. “You too, Roni.”
I considered plopping my ass down beside his body, holding onto his leg, just to be difficult so he would have to look me in the eye and punish me. But his best friend was here. I didn’t want to embarrass Cook, so I vowed to earn my punishment later.
Grabbing a stack of plates, I slunk outside to set the table. Roni joined me with juice glasses and silverware. Together, we sat, and she knocked her knee into mine, wearing a soft smile. I returned it, but my smile turned into a yawn. She offered me her cup of coffee, but the thought of adding more acid to my stomach made it churn.
I needed food—and Cook—not more coffee.
“It’s bad anyway.” Roni frowned. “It’s nuked leftovers from last night.”
She’d arrived last night as I was talking to Mel about the art we had hung up around the house and then Celt had gone to whatever had been going down at Bou’s shop.
Placing my palms on the table, I pushed up. “Let me make some fresh.”
Her hand wrapped around my wrist. “It’s fine, Maddie, sit.”
“Melanie asked for tea last night,” I said a little aimlessly.
Roni snorted. “Bet Cook didn’t have any of that.”
“You would be right.” I curved my spine and leaned back, thinking this exchange was kinda nice. Normal-like.
The door opened and Cook stepped out with a platter. “Breakfast is ready.”
The others emerged behind him, each carrying something for the table. Except Celt, who scrubbed both his hands over his face and yawned. Someone had apparently woken him up to eat.
I was barely standing up by the time Cook sat down beside me and motioned for me to stay. Serving them as they went about their business was my job. Having them bring me food made me uneasy. Especially with all that had happened.
“Thanks,” I said to Cook, and he nodded before scarfing down his food.
Celt did the same, sopping up the last of the syrup with a huge bite of pancake.
I hadn’t noticed before, but Cook, Angel, and Celt were all wearing their leathers. Celt stacked his plate on top of Cook’s, pecked Roni on the cheek and then headed toward his bike parked in the drive.
Cook, Angel, and Mel started toward the Mini.
Words exploded from my mouth before I could think. “You aren’t staying?”
“We gotta get back to Bou’s shop,” said Celt. “MC biz.”
“Eat up and stay here,” ordered Cook, inclining his head toward the house like it was a fortified castle and I was his princess.
“Can I have a hug?” Mel asked.
Standing, I gave her an awkward embrace, then asked, “You’re going too?”
“They’re dropping me at the recovery house for the morning.” She smiled and ran her hands down my upper arms. “We’ll chat soon.”
A few minutes later, there was a roar of an engine and a crunch of gravel, the sound fading as the car and bike sped away.
I pushed around the eggs on my plate as Roni said, “They’ll be okay. It’s just business.”
Staring at her, I could see something I wanted for myself. She had survived the shit at Enigma and had become a strong woman in the aftermath. She had risen above the bad, gotten her nursing license, and had a good thing going with her man. Furthermore, she was even helping to put away Tommy G. for good.
Maybe I would have my crap figured out one day like her. I was getting better, but still didn’t trust that the ghosts wouldn’t drag me into their world again.
“Do you know what happened last night?” I asked. “Did Celt tell you?”
She pinched her lips together, like she was deciding whether to lie to me.
I didn’t need or want to be sheltered, so I demanded, “Tell me. I’ve been in the dark forever. It’s better to be in the know than locked away in a cage.”
With a sigh, she relented. “I don’t know many of the details. Celt wouldn’t say. But I know something went down last night, a new deal with the Mafia.”
“The Gambinos?” I asked, my fork clattering to the plate.
Roni shook her head. “Not them. Definitely not. No way Celt—or Cook—would let that fly. Or Angel, for that matter. It was some other guy. Parisi, maybe.”
“Massimo.” It had to be. I ate a forkful of eggs, unable to revel in the perfect taste of them when it all just felt sour. “Are there others?”
She shrugged. “I’m still new to this. You would have to ask Bou. She’ll be at church too.”
“Church?”
“Didn’t Cook tell you?” She smiled, her green eyes glinting. “It’s what they call it when the club meets up for business.”
“Oh,” I said, then drew the connection. “Bou? Even in... her state?” I was unsure how to phrase it, and it made me pout that she got to go, but I couldn’t be with Daddy now. I still wasn’t sure I could trust her after she brought Mel over here without Cook’s permission or mine.
“You mean pregnant?” Roni raised both brows.
I rolled my eyes. “It just doesn’t feel safe.”
“She knows what she’s doing.”
Of course she does. Bou doesn’t seem like the kind of person who defers to anyone.
I ate more eggs, trying to gather my thoughts. While I knew Cook, the rest of his world was foreign to me. Often weird. Stupidly strange. Every time I thought I relearned something, I was thrown off track. “Do you want that, with Celt, I mean?”
“An accidental pregnancy?” asked Roni.
I blinked at her. “It was an accident?”
She snorted, “Yeah. They found out when she and Celt were brought to the hospital after—” She cut herself off. “Well, that’s their story to tell. But yeah, it was definitely not planned.”
I stirred my breakfast around the plate. “But you want kids?”
“I’m on the pill and plan on staying on it for a while,” she said. “Someday? Sure. Definitely with Celt. He’ll make a great dad. But it isn’t that easy. It’s more than getting knocked up and giving birth. I just don’t feel safe enough, or maybe it’s secure enough.”
I ducked my head. Last night swirled around me, but I pushed it away. No way I wanted to relive it.
Roni touched my knee, and I jerked back. My plate of food almost went flying. She grabbed my plate and put my plate and hers to the side. I curled my knees up to my chest, my heels on the metal chair, and used the position as a shield.
“What happened?” asked Roni, keeping her hands at her sides. “Did you have a flashback?”
“Last night was just a lot,” I murmured. Coupled with this talk and everything else, I almost trembled. “I want Cook.”
Roni placed her fork beside her plate. “I know it’s hard, Maddie, but I’ll do what I can to help you. Tell me what’s going on.”
My heartbeat was as quick as a cornered rabbit’s, and I rubbed a hand over my chest. “Mel said the same thing.”
Roni nodded, obviously resigning herself to the fact that today wouldn’t be the day I opened up to her. We had time, and we were already closer than when we started. We had opened some of the scars, but I feared the process of ripping open my flesh and letting the rest of me fall out. I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to handle it.
The roar of an engine and gravel crunching under tires ripped both our attention up to the driveway. I straightened as Roni hopped up, but I stayed behind her. My hands trembled and the palms turned slick, and I dragged my hands down my shirt.
Roni was still until the dust cleared and her shoulders released their tension. “It’s Melanie,” she said.
“She said she would be back.” I blew out my breath. “I just didn’t expect her so soon.”
“There’s someone with her.”
“Doctor Richardson,” I offered, trying and failing to prepare myself for this encounter.
She turned back to me. “Seriously? That’s a big step for you today, Maddie.”
Heat burned my cheeks, a mixture of embarrassment and pride. “I know.”
Looking down at my hands, I tried to tell myself it would be okay. I had agreed with Melanie last night that I would speak to Doctor Richardson, but now that it was time, I wasn’t so sure. I kept my knees pressed to my chest as I waited, barely realizing how much time had passed before Melanie and Doctor Richardson were standing in front of me.
“Hello, Maddie,” said the doctor. “How are you today?”
My words were caught in my throat, and I held my hands close together, afraid I might lash out at her again.
Mel and the doctor shared a look, and I really felt crazy. I needed to unlock my jaw and speak. I wasn’t a weak little girl. I wasn’t a victim—I would never be that again.
“Roni, will you help me?” I asked. “With Doctor Richardson.”
“I can help too,” said Mel quickly.
“I really don’t need you,” I said, and the look that crossed her face was as shocked as if I’d clocked her.
I couldn’t help it, though. She was the last person I wanted to hear me share any of the disgusting details about my past. She may have to deal with Angel’s darkness, but she didn’t live through what I did. She went to high school and college and wasn’t ever locked in a cage. Did I resent her? A little, but she also didn’t need to try to picture what I went through. Those were images I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
Roni had some of the same experiences. It wouldn’t be tragic for her like it would be for Mel.
“But I’m your sister—”
“I know,” I snapped, not caring that I cut her off. “All the more reason for you to wait inside. Or somewhere else.”
She had reminded me of our sisterhood too many times, but our blood didn’t make us alike. We grew up in very different ways. With our experiences now, we were as much sisters as I was with Roni or Bou.
Mel ducked her head, but I couldn’t help if she was upset that I’d chosen Roni over her. I didn’t need my twin sister to hear any of it. She already saw me as her failure.
Doctor Richardson was also looking at Mel with that pleading look in her eye. “We spoke about this possibility, Lanie.”
“Fine,” said Mel. “I’ll wait in the car. Call me if you need me.” She stalked off the porch quickly, but none of us moved until the Mini’s driver door slammed.
Doctor Richardson turned to me, wearing a neutral face. I couldn’t control my expression as well. Instead, I watched her openly and measured her like I imagined a shrink would judge her patient. She would crack open my brain like an egg, dissecting every piece of me. I tightened my grip on my knees.
“Can I sit?” asked the doctor, motioning to a chair opposite me, and I nodded. After she lowered herself down, she said, “While we’ve met before, Maddie, I think we should start fresh. I’m Doctor Ava Richardson, and I specialize in trauma counseling. Such as what you’ve experienced, Maddie, and you too, Roni, if I understand things correctly.”
Pink flushed Roni’s cheeks, but she raised her head. “Yes. I have. But I’m okay. I’ve met with plenty of therapists, and I have a social worker preparing me to testify against the Gambino crime family. I’m good. Really.”
I recognized the calm tone in her voice. “Can I do that too? Testify?” Will I be able to do that? Could I claim back my life like Roni had done with her own? Yes, I thought, but I would need Cook to help.
“We could meet with my lawyer and social worker,” said Roni, missing the real intent of my question. I, however, didn’t have it in me to correct her. Besides, if I could keep control over myself and it would help put a nail in Tommy G.’s coffin, I’d be happy to testify against him too.
“This is a good start,” said the doctor. “Fear and uncertainty are part of transitioning into a normal daily routine. Having Roni’s experience as an example may help you.”
She waited for me to make eye contact, then looked at Roni again. “Let’s talk more about what you are doing to gather control over your anxiety.”