Chapter 13 Ally
ALLY
My entire body hurts.
I feel like I just ran a marathon and then got hit by a truck.
I’ve been hiding under covers for hours trying to warm up, fading in and out of sleep, and I’m just so tired. Too tired to move. Too tired to talk. Too tired even to open my eyes. Yet I somehow just can’t fall asleep.
Or at least that’s how it feels since I’ve been wiggling around for what feels like an hour.
I can’t get comfortable. It feels like my skin is both burning off and icy cold at the same time.
Yet I still want to blame this stupid guest bed that I agreed to sleep on instead of my nice bed at my own house.
Although, after the way I felt last night, I’m just thankful I made it into any bed as the last thing I remember is watching the hockey game with Lucas asleep next to me on the couch.
How did I get here?
Slowly moving my arm, I peel back the covers that are sticking to my body, covered in sweat, and start to sit up and get my bearings when I feel something pressed against my back.
Something warm, solid, and smelling like cedar and clean like soap. It’s cozy and delicious and smells like…Cooper.
Slowly peering over my shoulder, I take in my surroundings.
I’m in a bedroom, a big one, one that is definitely not the guest room I put my bag in last night.
But that’s not even the problem. The problem is that the bed I’m in right now isn’t empty.
No. There’s a hot, shirtless man lying peacefully next to me, like we didn’t just sleep together.
Well, not sleep together. Well, yes, sleep together. But, like, just sleeping. Nothing else.
Which is also apparent as the man is lying on top of the covers.
Looking down at my clothes just to confirm, I thank every god in existence that I’m still wearing them. Thank fuck, I think as I see a shirt on—only it’s a Firebirds shirt that’s about four sizes too big so it’s definitely not the Avril Lavigne shirt I brought to sleep in.
Son of a biscuit.
Doing my best to be quiet, I start to roll. Everywhere the bed touches my skin, it hurts—the tingling sensation that tells me this is more than just not feeling good. Moving closer to the edge of the bed, I swing my leg over then feel a hand on my wrist.
“Where are you going?” I hear Cooper rasp. Turning to look at him, I see he’s still lying in the same position, eyes closed as he talks.
“I, uh, was trying to give you space. Sorry I crashed in here,” I tell him, honestly not remembering how I got in his bed in the first place. Was I that confused last night?
“You didn’t.”
“I didn’t what?”
“You didn’t crash in here,” Cooper says as he rolls over to face me, eyes open as he watches me, his head resting on his hand.
No one should look this good in the middle of the night.
“I was taking you to bed and felt how hot you were. I took your temperature and then got you clothes. I was going to crash in the guest room, but you were so cold you asked me to stay.”
My cheeks flush as embarrassment washes over me. I asked him to stay? I try to think back to last night and suddenly am reminded of being woken up and how the only thing I could think about was how bad I felt.
But this is weird, right? Lying in bed with the dad of the kid I nanny? My ex’s best friend? Yeah, I can only imagine how well that would go over if he were to find out. Not that he’d care, because he’s happy with my sister, but bro code or whatever it is. I don’t know. Is this weird?
My head starts pounding more as I overthink how not okay this should be. How awkward I should feel wearing just a t-shirt and having laid next to Cooper all night. Nope. This is not the time to think about this.
“Sorry,” I say quietly as my body starts to tingle, a feeling of cold hitting me as the air from his room finally chills my skin, a tiny little tremor starting in my hands that Cooper immediately clocks—even in the dark.
“Don’t be. Now lie down,” he says, his eyes closing as one arm lifts the blanket for me to lie back down.
Next to him.
His tan skin, four hundred seventy-eight abs, tattoos, and a boyish grin make it well known that this is a bad idea.
Yet when he quirks an eyebrow at me and looks at my shaking hands, I decide I can use illness as an excuse for my poor decisions and go back next to him.
He makes sure I’m covered up by the comforter before scooting me back until I’m pressed against his hard body, his hand holding me in place, a feeling of warmth starting to radiate over me.
I’m frozen, my body completely still as I try not to move.
“Relax, Ally,” Cooper mumbles.
“I can’t. My stomach hurts and I’m cold.”
“Are you hungry?” he asks, right as my stomach growls, and I can feel the way his body shakes just a bit as he laughs—a throaty sound that just makes me feel some sort of way I’m not ready to describe yet. “I’ll take that as a yes. Want a grilled cheese?”
Turning my head just enough to see the orange glow from his clock, the numbers tell me it’s not time to cook. “Cooper, it’s two in the morning, not grilled cheese time.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Ally Cat. Any time is grilled cheese time,” Cooper says as he stands up, fixing the comforter before grabbing the blanket from the foot of his bed and covering me yet again. “You stay here. I’ll be back.”
Thirty minutes later, Cooper and I are sitting in his bed, eating grilled cheese and drinking the tea he made me while watching Murder She Wrote while I’m wrapped in blankets.
He’s been constantly checking on me, trying to get me to drink more fluids, but the only thing I’ve wanted is the grilled cheese and tomato soup he surprised me with.
It’s warm and toasty and is the closest thing to a hug for my insides, and I need that since I feel like I’m chilled to the bone, still waiting for the Tylenol he brought me with my food to kick in and hopefully bring this fever down.
“Does everything taste okay?” Cooper asks after a few minutes of us eating in silence.
“This is easily the be the best grilled cheese I’ve ever eaten.” I groan into the meal, not giving a shit if I sound feral right now. I’m so hungry and my body hurts, and this sandwich is everything.
Cheese is life on a good day…so on a bad day it’s everything.
“I told you it was good,” he says, taking me back to that first night we had his little happy hour hang out session and he brought up that he’d perfected the grilled cheese.
He lit up at my compliment, the bedside lamp catching the glow on his face as he grinned over at me like I’d just told him a secret. It was obvious this meant something to him and that he was so proud of it.
And damn if it wasn’t adorable.
That was just a few days ago, but since then I feel like I’ve seen a different side of Cooper.
A side of him that I didn’t know existed—and honestly, it’s a side I almost wish I didn’t know about.
It probably would’ve been better if I never knew.
It makes me question my reasons for why something with Cooper would be a bad idea.
Especially after he took care of me last night and woke up in the middle of the night to make me a snack.
Or the way he had us play a stupid game I pretended to hate—but secretly kind of loved because it showed he wanted to know me better.
Not my body.
Me.
How do I keep my heart from latching onto this man?
“I believe your exact words were that your grilled cheese rivaled orgasms.” I say the words before I can stop myself—and for some reason, saying the word orgasm to this man makes me feel embarrassed. Grabbing my cup of tea, I blow on it and take a sip before looking back up at Cooper.
“Well…?”
“Well, what?” I ask, my body starting to hurt just a smidge less as the medicine finally kicks in.
That or the soup really is that good.
“Is my sandwich better than an orgasm?” Cooper asks nonchalantly, and I feel my face heat, which only makes him grin, the cheeky fucker.
Should I be honest?
Well, seeing as being dishonest is what got us into this mess in the first place, it’s probably best to just tell the truth.
As embarrassing as it is.
“I don’t know,” is all I can say. Pulling my legs in, I sit cross-cross on his bed, watching him dissect me like he’s working on a puzzle in the Sunday paper. Only it’s my life he’s dissecting. I’ll be honest—being this vulnerable is not my favorite.
But I’m trying.
I’m trying because if he cares to ask, he deserves the truth.
“What do you mean you don’t know? Too close to call—I could understand that.”
“No, I uh…have never had one.”
His jaw drops, and he looks at me for a minute like he’s seeing me for the first time.
I feel like I’m standing in the middle of the auditorium at school, butt ass naked while everyone stares at me.
Here I’m fully clothed and just being emotionally stripped, and dammit, I think I’d prefer to be naked.
“You…you’ve never had an orgasm?” Cooper repeats the words slowly like he’s having to think carefully to get the words out.
“Nope. Never.”
“What? How? I mean…you’ve…I mean obviously you’ve had sex. I mean Levi mentioned it…” Cooper says, trailing off.
“Yes, I’ve had sex, Cooper. I’m not a virgin by any means. I’ve just never had an actual orgasm.”
“Never?” he says in disbelief. “Not even…self-induced?”
“Nope. Don’t get me wrong—I’ve gotten close. It’s just not easy for me. It’s really fucking frustrating, but I can never seem to get myself to fall over the edge.”
“That…that sucks, Ally.”
“It does, but it’s just kinda my reality,” I start, not wanting to divulge all the things I’ve tried—and how every single one has failed. Before he can respond, I change the subject. “Want me to take my turn from the other night? The truths and lies game?”
He looks like he wants to argue, maybe push the subject a bit, but thankfully he agrees.
The only problem is, I’m not sure what to say. Thinking back to his statements, I try to get ideas, but everything I think of feels dumb.
“Okay, here we go. Number one, my first concert was New Kids On The Block. Number two, I read three hundred books in a year. And number three, I never went to a high school dance.”
We sit in silence after I’m done eating my grilled cheese for what feels like minutes but was probably only ten seconds at most. “Number two is the lie,” Cooper answers confidently, and I just smirk, loving that I stumped him…
and maybe just a little proud of the number.
“Nope. That one is definitely true. I’m on track to read just over three hundred this year, too. ”
“That’s impressive,” Cooper says grinning. “So which one is the lie?”
“My first concert. It was Britney Spears,” I say, reminiscing. “I still remember how excited Quinn and I were to go to that concert. Our mom and aunt took us and let us get all dressed up. It was so much fun.”
“That’s awesome,” Cooper says. “But…does that mean you never went to a school dance?”
“Nope, not one. Something always came up, and I never got to go,” I say, still a little bummed I never got the opportunity to slow dance with someone. It’s not like I’ve wanted to tell my boyfriends and sound pathetic when I ask them to dance with me.
“That’s a shame, but I mean you’re not missing much.”
“Just the slow dancing part—that’s the part I missed,” I tell him, grabbing the blankets and pulling them up a little closer, the air prickling against my skin, the coldness telling me my fever is not gone. If anything, it’s getting worse.
“Well, at least there’s still time,” Cooper says with a wink. “Are you not feeling good?”
“No…really cold,” I say shivering, and he looks worried.
Standing up, he moves the food over to his dresser and grabs another blanket.
Tucking me back in his bed, he throws the other blanket on top and climbs in next to me.
Pulling me in tight, I immediately feel the heat of his body through the blankets—and while I want to make a dirty joke and think dirty thoughts, I’m too focused on the fact that, yet again, this man is taking care of me.
Lying there in his arms, I feel my body slowly relaxing, sleep starting to take me when I hear his voice mumbling against my hair, the words enough to set my mind at ease and letting me drift off to sleep.
“Get some sleep, Ally Cat. I’ve got you.”