Chapter 22
twenty-two
L eaving had been the best decision. I’d see Tristan again whether I wanted to or not. We lived in the same building. We were bound to run into each other from time to time. This wasn’t a forever goodbye. Was it possible we could find our way back to being friends? Maybe if I could find it in my heart to forgive him for the pictures and the secrets he kept from me. Perhaps persevering my friendship with either brother was a horrible idea.
Everything was too fresh and raw to think that far.
The drive back to school was long. Too long to be stuck alone with my thoughts.
I tried to call Sam because singing every song on my playlist wasn’t working. She didn’t pick up. Not surprising given the early hour, but I wasn’t thinking straight. I glanced at the clock. I didn’t have very many people in my life who would pick up at this time. My dad, but I wanted a sympathetic ear, not a lecture. Preston and Tristan were out of the question for obvious reasons.
It became sadly clear I needed more people in my life. My social life at college wasn’t what I would like it to be. I’d been hoping to meet new people and make more friends. Maybe I should join a sorority. I relied on Sam too much, not only as my only close friend, especially now, but also for her social game. She was the one who made friends easily, dragging me along with her.
It worked in the past.
But I had to learn more independence and stand on my own. I couldn’t always rely on someone else.
Tomorrow.
I’d start tomorrow being a stronger, better version of myself. Or maybe the next day.
Today, I needed a supportive ally. Someone who loved me. Someone as close to a mom as I had in my life.
I picked up my phone and dialed.
“Hello.” The warmness in the single word washed through me, thawing the ice that had begun to crawl in my veins.
“Anna,” I said softly, fighting back a well of tears. I didn’t want to cry. If I started sobbing, I would have to pull over, and I wanted to get back to campus as quickly as possible. No pit stops. No pity parties. No sobbing sessions. No falling apart on the side of the road.
“Oh, Everly, dear. It’s so good to hear your voice. I was just sitting on the porch thinking about you. I’m so glad you called. The boys rarely do when they’re away. How have you been?” She rambled, but I didn’t mind. In fact, it was the reason I called her. She would fill the long drive with her friendly chatter.
“I’ve had better days,” I admitted, having no reason to sugarcoat my feelings. Anna wouldn’t push for details I didn’t want to give, but she would be a caring, motherly figure if I needed it.
“Hmm. I thought I heard something in your voice. Are you having a tough time at school?” she asked.
I thought about Preston and the pregnant girl in his dorm. How would Anna take the news she would be a grandma? After the initial shock, she would embrace the new role and the mother-to-be. It was Anna’s nature. Blaine, on the other hand, wouldn’t be so sympathetic to his son’s choices. I hadn’t thought of it before, but this girl Preston impregnated would be a part of all the Malones’ lives, which meant I would have to see her if my relationship with Blaine and Anna continued.
I hated thinking about not having them in my life. “Maybe a little,” I said, particularly if I included Tristan as part of my FSU experience.
“It’s perfectly normal to be homesick. I remember my first year of college.” Her tone took on a wistful note. Something like wood creaked in the background. The old rocking chair she loved to sit on I imagined. “I’d never been more scared. I can’t tell you how many times I called my parents begging to come home, but as cliché as it sounds, things did get better. If I hadn’t stuck it out, I wouldn’t have met your mom.”
I swallowed around the lump forming in my throat. My mom’s relationship with Anna often reminded me of mine with Sam. They’d been best friends, making what happened between her sons and me so much harder.
“This is the first time you’ve really been on your own, Everly. It’s okay to be scared.”
“Do you think my mom was afraid?” I asked. There could be so many situations this question could be applied to, but Anna seemed to understand I was looking for a connection to feel close to the mother I’d lost.
“We all have our fears. Your mom was no exception, but she would be so proud of you. I know I am.” Through the phone, I heard the rolling of waves, and a whip of longing tore through me. It would only take a single turn of my car to steer it toward home.
I took a deep breath, my fingers tight on the wheel as I kept the car moving straight down the road. “Thanks, Anna. I needed to hear that.”
“Anytime. Seriously. Anytime,” she repeated with a soft laugh. “I literally sit by the phone waiting for someone to call. You can’t imagine how empty the place feels with all of you gone.”
I realized Anna was having struggles of her own. This was the first time she was an empty nester. I could sympathize with the loneliness. I wondered if she felt less needed with no one home. “How are you? Soaking up all your me time at the spa? Racking up Blaine’s credit card?”
She laughed fully this time, and it was like a hug of sunshine bursting through the phone. “You know me well. Have you talked to Preston?”
Alarm bells went off in my head. This was a conversation I wanted to avoid and why I shouldn’t be talking to Anna.
It crossed my mind to tell her what transpired between her son and me, but I really believed she needed to hear it from Preston. He would have to find the balls to tell his parents sometime. And truthfully, I wasn’t ready for my relationship with Anna and Blaine to change. Not yet. Not when I felt so unsteady. Selfish? Probably, but no more selfish than Preston had been or was being for that matter, but Anna was the closest thing I had to a mom, and the urge to lean on her, to cry on her shoulders, burned within me.
“We’ve both been super busy,” I replied, trying to keep my voice level. It was as much of the truth as I could give her and a reminder I should end the call before my resolve weakened and I said more than I should. It wouldn’t take much prodding for the confession to tumble out of me like verbal diarrhea of the mouth.
“You’ll be coming home for the holidays soon. We’ll all be able to catch up then.”
Shit! Thanksgiving. And then Christmas.
It wasn’t that far away. Just weeks, time slipping through the hourglass.
Last year, the holidays had been the worst of my life. There had been nothing joyous or festive in them. I barely remembered the days following Christmas, and it was a grim path I didn’t want to travel. I hadn’t allowed myself to think about the holidays.
Apprehension sat like lead weight in my chest. “I was possibly thinking of seeing my dad,” I lied through my teeth. I’d rather spend the time alone or eat a bowl of glass.
“Oh. Of course,” she said, sounding a bit taken aback that I wouldn’t be spending it with her family. “That will be nice for both of you. Your father misses you.”
I nearly laughed but stamped it down before the bubble of sarcasm could sneak its way out. I had to disconnect. “I’m sorry, Anna. I’m getting another call I need to take. I promise to call you soon.” The excuse rolled like sandpaper off my tongue.
“Of course. I’m here anytime.” I hated the disappointment in her voice.
We hung up, and I cranked the radio to drown out the buzzing vibrating in my head. I could feel the workings of a headache rising from the base of my skull as I stared at the road ahead. I still had two hours to go.
When I finally arrived at Thorn Hall, I half expected to see Tristan’s Mustang parked out front. It wasn’t there, but unfortunately, the weird snag in my gut was when it absolutely had no right to feel anything. Let alone beads of disappointment.
What Tristan did and where he went or didn’t go was none of my business.
Get a grip on yourself.
I didn’t want to see Tristan. I didn’t want to know he was in the same building. Hell, on campus.
I had to keep reminding myself like a fucking mantra to make it true.
Despite the sun shining gloriously in the soft blue sky, it was still early morning. Maybe not for everyone on campus, as I spotted several people walking about, but definitely for my best friend. When the elevator stopped on the third floor, I contemplated knocking on Sam’s door. Did I want to wake her up? Then I glanced at my room only feet away, and nothing about being alone appealed to me. It actually made my stomach churn.
I knocked. Once. Twice. Three times. On the fourth, I finally heard shuffling on the other side of the door.
Sleepily, Sam blinked at me, a yawn wide on her lips. “Ever? What time is it?” she sluggishly asked before shaking her head. “Don’t answer that. I don’t actually want to know.”
Standing like a wounded puppy, I smiled sadly, my lips wobbling. “Can I crash here?” I fought to keep the tears at bay.
Without a word, she swung the door open wider and turned, padding zombie-like back to the bed. I walked in and locked the door behind me, dropping her keys on the desk. Shedding my shoes, I climbed into bed beside my best friend who welcomed me with a hug.
“Come here,” she muttered. Her eyes were closed, and her breath had a faint sweet smell of alcohol from the night before. “I missed you. Don’t ever leave me again.”
We shared a pillow, facing each other, and the feathers were a relief to my throbbing head. “I had sex with Tristan.”
Her eyes flew open. I didn’t think I’d ever seen Sam wake fully so fast in her life. Not an ounce of sleep hung in her gray eyes. “Say again. I think I’m having a nightmare. Like one of those dreams where you can’t figure out if you’re awake or asleep.”
I dropped another bomb. “Preston got a girl pregnant.”
The dark aqua strands of her hair nearly blended in with the bold color of her sheets. Nothing about Sam was basic. It took a lot to render her speechless. For a few moments, I wondered if I’d broken her.
“What the fuck is happening? Okay, now I know I’m dreaming.”
“Does this feel like you’re asleep?” I pinched her in the side, and she jerked away from my hand.
“Bitch,” she said, smiling, her eyes clearer now, less shocked.
My lips arched into a downward bow. “I liked it. A lot,” I admitted, my hands resting under the pillow as I lay on my side.
Sam’s brow arched. “The sex? I need a minute to process. My brain doesn’t function fully until like happy hour. You had sex? You? My virgin queen?”
Humor tugged at my lips despite not wanting to find anything laughable in this. “Your girl is a virgin no more.”
She sucked in a breath. “I’m going to sever Tristan’s balls in half. I can’t believe him. I mean, actually I can. But Tristan? Seriously? He’s the guy you decided was the one ? I can’t say I’m surprised, but in a way, I am. Everly! What the hell?”
We both knew I’d crushed on Tristan for years, but I’d never considered it more than that until recently. Probably sometime after my mom died if I put a timeline on the shift of my feelings from crush to something substantial. “It doesn’t seem real.”
“Well, does the ache between your legs feel real?” she replied.
I shot her a dry glance. She had a point. I couldn’t deny I was sore.
“Did you forget about the shit he put you through? The photos?” she reminded me.
“No,” I groaned, rolling on my back to stare at the slightly discolored ceiling. “Trust me, I know how fucked up this is.”
Several heartbeats passed as Sam soaked in the information. “You slept with your blackmailer. Not many girls can say that.”
I loved that her first thought hadn’t been you slept with your ex’s brother. Sam wouldn’t hold that against me. “It’s not as sinister as it sounds when you say it like that.”
“Was he at least a good lay? Not that you have anything to compare it to. The bastard better have lived up to his reputation and given you the best damn orgasm. You better have been screaming his name.”
“Sam.” I groaned again, my cheeks warming to a rosy color as a hint of a smile touched my lips. I wanted to bury my head under the pillow, feeling slightly embarrassed.
“Holy. Shit. He did. I bet his dick was huge too. God, how annoying. Why couldn’t he suck in bed? But I guess if he did he wouldn’t have a line of girls waiting to take his famous dick for a test drive.”
A loose spiderweb dangled in the ceiling corner that I couldn’t stop staring at. “I think I’m in trouble.”
“Trouble?” she echoed. “What kind of trouble? Do I need to get the mace?”
I turned my head to face her. “Keep your weapons at home. Besides, I’m tired of talking about my problems. Tell me something about your life. What have I missed?” It felt like forever since we caught up.
Sam chewed on her lower lip. She was concerned about me, but something else was in her eyes. “I met someone.”
Now it was my turn to be shocked. “What? Sam! When? How? Why didn’t you tell me? Oh, my God. I need to know everything.” Sam excelled at socializing. She met people all the time, but what made this different, what made this special, was the way she said it. I could count the number of times those words left her mouth on one hand. It meant she found someone she liked, someone with the potential to be more than a good time, and trust me, Sam was all about a good time. In a way, she was the female version of Tristan.
But I wasn’t going to think of him.
My friend was what was important right now. I had no room for a Malone. Any of them.
“In my graphic design class.” She had this buzzing energy I hadn’t felt from Sam in a while. “I wasn’t sure at first if she was only feeling me as a friend, but then I saw her this weekend at a party.”
“What’s she like?” I asked, genuinely interested. It helped to talk about someone else for a change.
A giddy grin spread over her lips. “Weirdly, she kind of reminds me of you.”
Her response threw me for a loop. “Should I take that as a compliment?”
A gem of joy sparked in Sam’s eyes. “You definitely should. She doesn’t look like you physically, but she has this aura about her that gives off Ever vibes.”
I put on a smile for my friend. I didn’t know anyone who deserved love more than Sam. “Well then, she has to be amazing. When do I get to meet her?” Just as Sam looked out for me, I would do the same for her.
Sam’s mischievous glimmer sparkled in her features. “Depends how soon I can get you out of this house.”
This was what I needed. This was how things went back to normal.
A gust of warm wind, carrying the scent of damp leaves, burning wood, and traces of cinnamon apple from the campus bakery, blew through campus as I stepped out of my last class for the day. The palms danced in the air swaying back and forth. I found it strange how my life returned to normal as if nothing happened. The world kept moving and continued spinning, the sun rising and falling day after day. I hadn’t seen Tristan in ten days. Not that I was counting.
The breeze whipped through my hair, doing a number on my blonde strands. I didn’t mind seeing as I hadn’t been bothered to do anything to my hair this morning. Today had been a “roll out of bed, no makeup, throw on a pair of leggings, an oversized hoodie, and my Uggs” kind of day.
Removing the scrunchie from my wrist, I threw my tousled hair into a messy bun, saving it from being thrashed by the wind to the point where a brush would be useless.
God, what I wouldn’t kill for a coffee right now.
As if the coffee gods read my mind, someone to my right called out, “Hey, matcha latte.”
I turned my head to see Brody walking beside me. An easy smile touched my lips at seeing his boyish familiar face. It felt like weeks since I’d last seen him, but enough time hadn’t passed for me not to feel a bit embarrassed. Still, I tried to play it down. “Hey, coffee shop.”
His shoulder-length sandy hair was pulled back into a low, short ponytail, wisps escaping and blowing across his face. “Speaking of which. You haven’t stopped by in a while.”
For good reason. “I’m avoiding you,” I bluntly admitted, scrunching my nose in a cute, joking way, hoping he wouldn’t take me seriously because it was only partially true.
He didn’t seem offended, and if he was, he hid it well behind a charming, soft smile and a playful chuckle. “I thought as much.”
I continued down the path at a more relaxed pace. “And yet you’re still talking to me.”
Brody shrugged. “What can I say? I’m a nice guy.”
In my experience, guys who said they were nice guys usually weren’t. I was betting on Brody being the exception to the rule. “You are.” Too nice for me, and perhaps that was my problem. I always went for the not nice guys. I’d thought Preston had been one of the nice guys. Look how wrong I was about him.
He gave a nervous smile. “It’s not my business, and you can tell me to butt out, but I was curious if you’d worked things out with your ex?”
It wasn’t the sun that turned my cheeks pink. “If you’re wondering whether he will make any unforeseen future appearances, I seriously doubt it.”
“Good to know.” Two girls walked past and smiled at Brody. He didn’t notice. His eyes were on me, and he looked cutely flustered. “There’s this thing coming up, and I was wondering if you’re free, if you would?—”
My phone tumbled out of my hand, falling to the ground with a wincing clatter. A look of dread descended into my features, my shoulders drooping. The universe did not want this guy to ask me out. Perhaps I should take it as a sign?
Son of a bitch. If the screen had cracked, I would hurl the thing across campus.
I bent down to pick up my phone, my hand brushing Brody’s who beat me to it, grabbing it for me. Smiling, I stood, but Brody wasn’t looking at me, and his face had changed.
I followed his gaze.
The universe was really working against me today, throwing me another obstacle.
A six-foot-two menacing obstacle with piercing blue eyes that made my heart skip. His signature scowl carved over full lips. And the asshole was holding my phone.
My brows knitted together. “Tristan?”