Nine
NINE
Molly
Four Weeks Later
“You want anything else?” Hope asked.
I looked at the table in front of me and felt uncharacteristically queasy.
“I’ll pass,” I said.
A mild statement, which in no way reflected how I felt.
In fact, looking at the spread—oatmeal, scrambled eggs, sausage, and fruit salad—all of my favorites, made me sweaty and dizzy at the thought of eating any of it.
“You all right, Molly?” Hope said, sounding concerned.
I tried to reassure her by making my voice as perky as I could manage.
“I’m great. But we didn’t come here to talk about me.”
She smiled.
“And what did we come here to talk about?”
“You,” I said.
A smile spread across her face, and I couldn’t stop myself from smiling back.
Hope was truly one of the best people I had ever met in my life.
She deserved happiness, and to see her live it was a gift.
She looked at me, seeming to consider her thoughts.
And then, finally, she said, “I’m great.”
And she meant it.
I saw it in everything about her.
“That’s good, Hope,” I said.
I reached across the table and squeezed her hand.
“You deserve it.”
She was quiet for a moment, and then she looked at me.
“I do,” she said.
I cocked my head.
“Who are you?” I exclaimed.
She smiled shyly.
“What are you talking about?”
I glanced over her shoulder and saw a tall figure who I knew was her bodyguard.
“My Hope would never accept a compliment without pushing back.”
She shrugged.
“Well, everyone can change,” she said.
I smiled, and she smiled back, then looked at me seriously.
“So how are you and Enzo?”
“What makes you think there’s a me and Enzo?” I said.
“Have you forgotten who you’re talking to?” she said.
I wanted to argue, but then collapsed.
I needed to talk to someone—and who better than Hope?
“We’re great,” I said.
She burst out laughing.
“You say that like it’s the worst news you’ve ever heard,” she said.
“It’s just not fair,” I said, not caring that I was pouting.
“What’s not fair?” she asked.
“He’s so fucking great. And I hate it.”
“I need you to make sense, Molly,” she said.
“I mean, if he was just some meathead or some idiot, we could fuck and leave it at that. But?—”
“But he’s that…and more. He’s?—”
I stared off, trying to stare dreamily.
"He's fucking ridiculous as a human being. But he's great. And he treats me?—”
“Don’t tell me he treats you anything other than perfect,” she said.
“Or—” I responded.
“Or he’ll have me to deal with,” she said.
“I know he would.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“He scares me, Hope,” I whispered.
“Huh?”
“I mean, if it was just that, it’d be one thing. But this…it’s so much more. He’s trying to wind his way into my heart. And there are no vacancies,” I said.
“Maybe there are,” she countered. “Maybe sometimes it walks up on you without you expecting it,” she said.
“So I should just go with this?” I said.
“You should do what makes you happy,” Hope responded.
I rolled my eyes at her.
“Hope, stop being so freaking diplomatic,” I said.
“Fine. What do you want, Molly?”
“Him,” I finally said.
“So there you go,” she said.
“Yeah but that’s stupid. I mean, the one time I think I want to try to build something, I choose Enzo of all people.”
“Who better?” she asked.
“I don’t know. Maybe somebody who is less…Enzo.”
Hope laughed.
“You get what I mean,” I said.
“I do, but Enzo would never hurt you,” she said.
“And if he did, I assume he’d have to deal with you?”
“You know it.”
I got a whiff of something. I think it was the freshly squeezed grapefruit juice.
“Um, can I have a minute?" I said.
My stomach lurched and I stood and hurried to the restrooms.
Enzo and Nico had taken the chance to catch up.
I’d never admit it to Enzo, but this was one aspect of Enzo and Nico’s life that I appreciated. This restaurant was always packed, so to have it to ourselves was special. Luxurious, in an insulated-from-the-world kind of way that I never experienced before. The expensive cutlery, the soft jazz flowing from the speakers, the heavy, expensive-looking custom furniture that had clearly been designed for the space. It even smelled expensive, like aged wood, furniture polish, a faint floral scent that was present but not cloying. It felt like I’d been let in on a secret world.
And I enjoyed it.
Shallow, sure, but the truth was the truth.
I ventured down the hall and into the bathroom. The space was dimly lit, bright enough to see but not so bright as to be overpowering. The fixtures on the faucets were shaped like mermaids. Not something I’d usually enjoy, but it worked in this space. I splashed by some water on my face and by some miracle managed not to throw up.
Still, I stayed put until my stomach settled, and when I exited the bathroom, I felt almost human again.
I started to walk back to the table, but heard voices. I smiled, recognizing the tenor of Enzo’s voice, even though I couldn’t make out his words.
As if I needed more proof that I was completely gone for this man.
How ridiculous that just hearing the sound of his voice made a stupid smile spread across my face.
I found myself venturing toward the sound, eager to see him.
As I got closer, I made out the voices.
Enzo’s.
Then Nico’s.
I heard a laugh, one that reminded me of Enzo—the sound he made when he told one of his stupid jokes and tried to get me to laugh at it.
“You need to be honest,” Nico said.
“Honest?” Enzo responded.
“Yes. You care about her?” Nico said.
I froze. I shouldn’t eavesdrop on anyone’s conversation, let alone Nico and Enzo. But I knew in my bones they were talking about me.
Yet, even though I told my feet to move, they were rooted in the spot.
“Yeah. Tell her now. You said she told you she felt like she knew you from before,” Nico said.
“Ah, but that’s nothing,” Enzo said.
“You need to tell her,” Nico said.
“So how do you expect this will go? I’ll say, ‘Hey, Molly, I love you. Also, you don’t remember this, but the very first night I saw you—one that you’ve forgotten—I drugged you?’”
He loved me.
He had drugged me.
I was disoriented, my mind trying to process what he had said.
I let my mind spin as I thought of it.
I remember waking up after a night out with Hope feeling a little sick to my stomach, and chalking it up to too much champagne.
He had drugged me…
I looked at the heavy wooden door.
Stupid…
That was the only word that rang through my mind. To think that I thought I loved him.
How stupid.
I looked at the door, then turned. My feet moved now without thought.
I didn’t stop—not even when the guard looked at me like he was ready to tackle me.
I didn’t give him a chance. I didn’t even say good-bye to Hope.
I just needed to be away from here.
Away from him .
I stepped out of the restaurant and kept going, moving as fast as my feet would carry me.
Didn’t stop until I was ten blocks away.
With every step, I remembered moments between us.
The way he had kissed me.
The way I gave myself to him freely, without reservation.
The way I’d shared parts of myself that I’d shared with no one else.
“So stupid, Molly,” I said.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, doll .”
I didn’t have to look to recognize the voice.
I looked at Fabiano and the two huge men flanking him.
The meager breakfast I’d fought to hold on to came out in a rush. Fabiano looked like he wanted to cut my tongue out when my puke splashed on his shoes.
And to think I’d been sure this day couldn’t get worse…