Chapter 12
Locating Ryan took Margaret longer than she cared to admit. Each step she took and each room devoid of his presence only made her more anxious. She worried that these rumors would destroy her future.
By the time she found the Laird, she could barely breathe. She stood in the doorway of the library, looking at him. There was a book on his lap, and he seemed to be engrossed in the story.
It didn’t take him long to sense that he was being watched, though. And when his eyes locked on hers, he put the novel aside and stood. As he crossed the floor, he asked, “What’s wrong? Did somethin’ happen to ye?”
“I…” She said, her fingers tightening in the fabric of her new gown. They weren’t the only two in the library, and even if they were, there was always a chance of someone walking in. “Could I speak with you somewhere more private?”
“Aye,” he said, his face hard.
He offered her his arm and stared at her expectantly. She hesitated, fearing what people might think if they saw them walking that way. Then, she decided that it was too late. If rumors were already flying, then this wouldn’t make things any worse.
“Ye’re nae in danger, are ye?” Ryan asked as he took off. “I daenae need to alert me men?”
“Not any more than I already was,” Margaret said, thankful that he’d adjusted his pace to accommodate her.
Ryan chuckled under his breath, and she couldn’t help but smile slightly. He was the only person she’d ever met who liked her jokes. Most of the time, they fell flat and made situations more awkward. Not with him, though.
As soon as they were within the safety of Ryan’s study with the door closed behind them, he let go of her. She stalked away from him, letting herself collapse into a plush armchair. He leaned on the edge of his desk, crossing his arms over his bare chest.
Must he wear that blasted shirt? I blame it for all of this trouble.
“All right, lass,” Ryan said when she didn’t explain. “Ye need to tell me what’s got ye so worked up. Ye said ye’re nae in danger, but ye’re actin’ like ye are. Ye ken I said I’d protect ye.”
“Well, I was walking around the castle this morning, and all the maids were whispering among themselves,” she started, folding her hands in her lap and looking down at them as she spoke.
“Aye, they enjoy their gossipin’,” Ryan said with a nod. “But that doesnae explain why ye’re pale as a ghost.”
“Someone saw us!” she exclaimed without thought.
And when Ryan lifted his eyebrow in question, she couldn’t stop herself from continuing.
“And now there are rumors that there’s an heir on the way!
I think it’s been spreading like wildfire.
Cali says they’re all excited, and it’s only among the servants, but what if it gets out? ”
“What if it does?” he asked.
“Well, if it gets out, my future will be destroyed, Ryan! I’ll be known as a ruined woman,” she said, lifting her head and fixing him with a fiery gaze. “Everyone thinks that we’ve… that I’ve let you…”
She groaned, dropping her head down into her hands. His silence only fed into the storm swirling in her mind. It would be different, she thought, if they were truly married. Then, at least, the rumors wouldn’t be so scandalous.
“And my aunt!” Margaret cried, throwing her hands in the air. “She’ll kill me if she learns something like this has happened—with a Highlander no less! She raised me better than this. And now… now others’ words are going to destroy me.”
“Lass—”
“It doesn’t even matter that nothing but a kiss happened between us. It’s all gotten so out of hand.”
“Sassenach—”
“And who knows how the rumor will grow. It’s already out of hand, and we didn’t even do—”
“Margaret,” he said, his voice a low growl as he stepped away from the desk and knelt in front of her, cutting off her words, “I understand ye’re upset, but all this hollerin’ isnae goin’ to help.”
“Nothing will help,” she said, her breath stuttering to a stop when one of his hands rested on her knee.
The warmth seeped through the fabric. His strength was steady, and after a beat, she was able to draw in her first complete lungful of air since learning what was happening. Ryan watched her, waiting until she didn’t look so wild before speaking.
“There’s a simple solution, Margaret,” he said, leveling her with a serious expression. “And it was going to happen, regardless.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean,” he told her, his brown eyes boring into hers, “that we will get married.”
“I—”
“The weddin’ will be in three days,” he continued, cutting her off.
“We weren’t supposed to actually get married,” Margaret objected, a different kind of panic taking hold of her. “It was just supposed to be for show.”
“I said I was marryin’ ye,” Ryan said, his hand tightening on her knee. “I meant that, Sassenach. Ye wanted me protection in exchange for being me wife.”
“I didn’t run from certain imprisonment in England just to be forced into another prison in Scotland!” she argued, wishing that she hadn’t sat down. There was no way to get away from him.
“What makes ye think ye’re goin’ to be imprisoned?” he asked, his eyes narrowing.
“You’ve already told me that I have to follow your rules,” Margaret explained, remembering the conversation they’d had in this very room a few days ago. “Once we’re married… actually married, you could tell me to do anything, and I wouldn’t be able to get away.”
“First, I already told ye,” Ryan said, getting closer to her, “ye’ll have yer freedom. I’m nae takin’ that away from ye.”
“But—”
“Margaret,” he said sharply, stopping her train of thought, “I ken ye’re worried, but it’s nae as big an issue as ye think it is. Ye and I will be wed.” He pulled back a bit, taking in her expression. Then he said, “Yer other choice is to be ruined.”
She swallowed hard before tearing her eyes away from him.
Her attention focused on his heavy, dark wooden desk.
She couldn’t find the words to respond to him.
He was right, but none of this was what she wanted.
She’d hoped it would be safe for her to leave before she had to go through with the marriage.
This is all so out of my control. I feel like I don’t even have a handle on my own life anymore. I’m entrusting it to Ryan, and I don’t know if he’ll make the right decisions for me.
“We’re gettin’ married, Sassenach,” he said, his index finger coming to her chin. Much more gently than she thought possible, he tilted her face toward him. “We’re gettin’ married, and ye’re going to be all right. Ye daenae have to worry about yer reputation. It’ll be intact. Ye understand?”
Margaret nodded, her face heating up. He was so sure, and his attention was so steady. She felt his presence slowly soothing the anxiety swirling in her gut. In fact, that feeling was morphing into something completely different.
Why does he confuse me so? I should be scared. I am scared. But the fear isn’t so overwhelming when he’s around.
“And I’m nae goin’ to control ye,” he said, finality in his voice. “Though I doubt ye would let me control ye even if that was somethin’ I wanted to do.”
“You’re correct,” she said, cracking a smile.
That seemed to put Ryan at ease. After a beat, he dropped her chin and stood to his full height. He looked down at her, and from this angle, he was intimidating in a way that sent a thrill up her spine.
“I’ll let ye do whatever ye want,” he said before the side of his mouth came up in a smirk. “For the most part at least.”
With that, he walked out of his study, leaving her alone. Margaret’s hand came up to her cheek. It was warm, and her stomach rolled with heat. Her mind struggled to make sense of what had just happened.
He says I will have my freedom, and I think I might be starting to believe him.
Ryan marched down the corridor away from his study, adjusting his stiffening length as he went.
He knew that it was perhaps inappropriate to be heated in this way after the conversation they had had, but he couldn’t help it.
Margaret’s spirit was intoxicating. The way his body reacted was natural and to be expected.
She has nay idea what she does to me.
“There ye are, Me Laird,” Colby’s voice called, echoing from the other end of the hallway. “I was on me way to yer study.”
“I told ye that ye daenae need to call me yer Laird, Colby,” Ryan sighed, stopping his walk and turning toward him. “What do ye want?”
“Bit of a bampot today, are ye?” he teased, closing the distance between the two of them.
“Ye think I’m a bampot every day,” Ryan said, not rising to the bait. “Now, did ye truly need somethin’, or did ye just want to waste me time? I have matters I need to attend to.”
“Couldnae it be both?”
“Quit yer ridiculousness,” Ryan said as he ran a hand over his face. “What do ye need?”
“That complaint ye took care of yesterday,” Colby started, stopping to let a maid hurry past them. “Just got word back from some of the guards that ye sent out.”
“Already?” Ryan replied with a raised eyebrow. “They were just dispatched this mornin’.”
“Aye, they were,” he confirmed, guiding Ryan toward a room they often used for meetings. “But our men are the best in the Highlands. They do their jobs, and they do them well.”
Ryan made a noise of acknowledgment, pulling the door closed behind them. Colby nodded toward the chairs, but Ryan shook his head. He didn’t intend to be here for long. Whatever Colby told him, he’d need to take time to come up with a plan to take care of it.
“Now, are ye goin’ to tell me? Or would ye like to praise the guards we trained some more?” Ryan asked, feeling the threads of his patience wearing thin.
“I daenae want anyone to overhear us,” Colby said with a grin. “Gossip flies in this castle in case ye havenae noticed.”
“Aye, I’m well aware of that,” Ryan sighed, his jaw tightening.
Colby nodded. Then he said, “The guards have a lead on the thieves. They daenae ken for certain just yet, but they’re on the trail.”
“I assume they have a plan that they want me approval of?” Ryan guessed, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Ye assumed correctly,” Colby said. “They ken ye daenae want to bring anyone in without proof, so they want to hide in the cellar of the inn where the provisions are kept.”
Ryan nodded, rubbing his temple. He murmured, “Catch them in the act, aye?”
Colby nodded back, his fingertips tracing the handle of his blade. His eyes swept from the window in the center of the wall opposite them back to the Laird. A spark of amusement flashed in his eyes.
“Aye,” he replied. “So, do ye approve of their plan, or would ye like me to tell them to rethink it?”
“I approve,” Ryan said, not even needing to think about it. “They’ll ken if their targets are truly the thieves we’re lookin’ for without a shadow of a doubt. Instruct them to bring them back to the castle as soon as they’ve got the thieves. I’ll take care of the punishment.”
“Ye have some ideas, then?” Colby asked, a bit too excited for Ryan’s liking.
“Aye, but I willnae be sharin’,” the Laird replied. “I think ye get off on violence.”
“Ach, ye got it wrong,” Colby said, giving him a crooked smile. “It’s justice that tickles me fancy.”
“Ye’re despicable. But justice will be delivered swiftly,” Ryan scoffed before turning toward the door. “Let me ken as soon as ye get more information, aye?”
“Aye.”
Ryan nodded once more before heading out into the corridor once again. This time, he was lucky enough not to encounter anyone else who needed his input. However, he did see the gossiping maids who had Margaret in a tizzy.
Aye, keep talkin’. We’ll be married soon; then you’ll have to pick somethin’ else to chatter about.