Chapter 4
Gianna
My brother shakes me awake, and I open my eyes to stare into his soft brown ones. His expression is sad, blanketed in concern as he holds out his hand to pull me out of the car. When I hop out, I realize the security detail has driven me to his house in the suburbs outside of the city.
Matt notices my bewildered gaze and wraps his arm around my shoulders. “I figured you’d feel safer staying with me. I called Jeremy and told him you had a panic attack and I picked you up.”
Oh, right. Jeremy.
The boyfriend I ditched at his promotion party.
The heavy guilt settles in my chest, but it doesn’t outweigh the fear that is still making me tremble. After what happened in the bathroom, any confidence I had about confronting Sebastian has dwindled to nothing but a lost hope. I folded faster than a speeding bullet.
“Thanks. I wasn’t thinking,” I say, my voice as soft as a whisper.
Matt nods, leading me into his home and guiding me to sit on the couch. He moves to the kitchen to grab water and brings it back for me.
“Drink it. Need to hydrate after a rush like that.”
I sip it while I pull the blanket hanging limply over the back of his couch and wrap it around myself. Matt sits in the chair across from me, watching me carefully as we wait until I’m half done with the bottle before I sigh.
“We can debrief now,” I say with a small smile, knowing that’s what he’s waiting for.
His lips quirk. “What happened?”
“Sebastian was there.”
Matt jerks back, his eyes widening with shock and then he stands up, storming into another room and returning with his laptop. “Impossible. I tracked him earlier and he was…” He trails off, his mouth slacking as he sits back down.
“What?”
“The signal went out, as if he knew I was checking. I’m just—never mind.” He slams the laptop closed and shakes his head. “I’ll discuss it with my team later. It’s not important. Tell me what happened at the party.”
I swallow, taking another sip of water to stall for a second. “He cornered me in the bathroom.”
Matt’s fists curl on his lap and I know he’s assumed the worst, so I hurry through the rest.
“Just telling me that I’m going to be his again. And now that he’s found me, I’ll never leave him again. All the usual alpha male bullshit.”
“Did he give any indication of how long he’s been watching you?”
I shake my head. “Only long enough to know Jeremy is my boyfriend.”
A muscle feathers in my brother’s jaw. His eye twitches in frustration. “He touch you?”
“Just a kiss,” I lie, not needing him to realize how far I fell after only minutes in Sebastian’s hands. “Then I tried to knee him and he let go.”
This time Matt smiles a bit before it falters.
“What about your taser? Your bracelet, Gianna? Everything we prepared for this moment.” He leaves off expressing his disappointment, but I can feel it.
The worst part is I’m lying to him. My brother would be furious if he found out exactly what Sebastian did in the bathroom. What I enjoyed letting him do to me.
I push back the tears that threaten to come out and admit a small truth. “I froze. I’m sorry.”
Matt tsks, a fake smile pasted back on his face. “Don’t apologize, G. Even the best men I’ve trained have done it.”
“I still feel like I failed.” Failed not to come at the hand of my ex-boyfriend. I stifle my grimace.
My brother leans forward. “You got away, that’s not a failure.”
I nod, not agreeing entirely. Something about the encounter makes me feel like he wanted me to get away. My stomach churns and my eyebrows furrow. Was it a test? No, that couldn’t be. My lips part to speak my concern to him when the suspicious expression on his face has me pulling into myself.
“That it? You’re not holding anything back?” Matt asks, watching me as if he already knows the answer. But it’s impossible, I doubt a hotel of that caliber would have cameras in the bathroom.
Shaking my head, I lower my gaze to the floor. “That’s it. Honestly, I probably overreacted by running, but I was… I didn’t expect to see him.”
“You did good, G. Stop overthinking it.” He stands, holding out his hand to pull me off the couch. “Come on. Let’s get you showered and ready for bed. Tomorrow will be a new day and we can focus on what we’re doing going forward. Luckily, Gwen freshened up your room the other day.”
Gwen is a godsend that my brother doesn’t deserve. The house manager runs this place like a tight ship and keeps everything in place for him.
I stretch as I climb out of bed, feeling the burn in my legs from my run last night.
It makes me realize how out of shape I’ve become, and I make a mental note to start going to the gym again.
I’d stopped when my brother found a tracker in my gym bag and I’d been scared to continue.
We never could figure out how it got there since my bag had been shoved inside a locker the whole time.
But a few days later, he assured me it hadn’t been from Sebastian.
Something about the purchaser being local.
Pulling an old pair of leggings and hoodie from the drawers, I shower and get dressed, determined to start the day with no worries. What happened, happened, and there’s no point in dwelling on it. I have to accept the momentary weakness I had for the first love of my life.
My brother isn’t in the kitchen as I make my coffee, and I’m thankful for some more time alone while I consider how to move forward.
I’m not sure if he plugged my phone in for the night, but I want to call and apologize to Jeremy.
He’ll understand, but it doesn’t ease the remorse about what happened between Sebastian and me in the bathroom.
I’m still torn on telling him about it, and I can feel the dirty grime of being a cheater lingering on my skin.
I’m still considering what I should say when my brother walks in, light brown hair ruffled and only wearing sweatpants. He doesn’t say a word as he grabs my cup from me and takes a deep gulp.
“Hey!”
“Sibling tax,” he grunts out, moving to the fridge as I glare before making myself a new cup.
I sit on the stool as he grabs some eggs and bacon to make us food. It reminds me of when I was younger and he made me breakfast before school after our parents passed.
“You sleep okay?” he asks after a few moments.
“As well as I could,” I say, my eyes lingering on the dark circles under his eyes when he glances at me. “You?”
Matt shakes his head. “I didn’t get much. Lots of strategizing with my team, and trying to figure out how we missed him.”
I bite my tongue, not wanting to lead into that conversation. If I felt like a failure last night, my brother would feel twice that. I’m sure he’ll obsess over it until he finds his answer. It’s how he’s always been since we were little.
Matt sighs. He rubs a hand along his jaw and grimaces before facing me. “I have something to propose, but it’s up to you. I don’t want you to feel pressured.”
Sipping my coffee for a moment, I can’t dismiss the forlorn feeling gathering inside me. When I don’t answer, Matt comes to sit on the stool next to me, grabbing my hand to squeeze it.
“Just listen before deciding, okay?”
I squeeze my eyes shut briefly. “Just tell me, Matt.”
“He’s here now. We have to think about what he may do going forward, and what you want to do about it. You ran for years… Are you going to keep running, or do you want your life back?”
My eyebrows furrow, not expecting this direction from him. “What do you mean?”
“What if we got rid of him?”
I gasp, trying to remove my hand from his but he holds it tightly.
“I didn’t mean like that, G. I meant like… put away,” Matt says, frustration bleeding into his tone. He doesn’t have to say he’s displeased by my reaction. I shouldn’t care if Sebastian lives or dies, but I do. I very much do.
“You want to send him to prison? How? For what?” I ask.
Matt’s lips tighten in a thin, bitter line, then he tilts his head to stare at me. “You remember how I told you his father is a dangerous man?”
When Matt picked me up from college in the middle of my panic attack and I explained what I witnessed, he didn’t seem surprised.
In fact, when I finally calmed down he told me about what Sebastian’s father is involved in.
He didn’t have any proof that Sebastian was too, but one could only assume if he wasn’t yet, he would be soon.
How could he avoid it when he’s the only son of the Outfit’s most notorious enforcer?
“Yeah. I remember.”
My brother nods. “If we tie him to his father, the FBI will handle the rest.”
My mouth drops open, a strange chill skittering over my skin and worming into my heart. “The FBI? What the hell, Matt.”
He pulls away, standing and walking back to the stove. “I know it’s not ideal, but it is an opportunity I couldn’t refuse.”
My stomach coils in reproach at working with the FBI and fear of the possibility of putting Sebastian in prison. “Why are you telling me this?”
Matt doesn’t respond, finishing up the food and setting it before me. When he sits on the stool next to me again, he faces me with a tight jaw. “Because I think the only way to achieve what we need is by getting close to him.”
Dread squeezes my heart. It becomes clear what he’s asking now. “You want me to get close to him?”
He nods. “My team and I went back and forth for a while. It’s the best option, and if we control the narrative and the way in which you return to his life, I think it will be safer to extract you.”
I blow out a breath. “Okay.”
Never thought my brother would willingly send me into Sebastian’s arms. I figure agreeing with his plan, whether I plan to do it or not, is the easiest solution.
I’d been prepared to fight him over possibly letting me say one last goodbye to Sebastian in person, but if he wants to send me with ulterior motives, it’s a weight off my chest.
Matt pauses before turning back to me. “That’s it? You’re okay with getting close to him?”
Frowning, I push the plate away from me since my appetite has disappeared. Perhaps I’d been too quick to assume my brother would just send me in. “Is this a test? It was your idea.”
“I know, but I didn’t expect you to agree so fast.” Matt’s eyebrows dip further. “Maybe I’m rushing this. Let me think about it, okay?”
I stare at him in frustrated confusion and he sighs, reaching over to squeeze my hand.
“Whatever happens, everything is to protect you. Now eat.”