Chapter 14
An accidental outing.
I awkwardly bounced Bobbinvoxlyn, who refused to be happy, as Noxlyn and Camden had a whispered conversation.
It felt odd to stand here and watch them, though neither seemed to mind our presence.
My eyes closed briefly as I struggled not to lean into Monqilcolnen.
Warmth was radiating off him, and like most drakcol, I adored the heat.
I wanted to bask in his warmth, but that was something I couldn’t do.
Bobbinvoxlyn released an ear-numbing shriek that made me wince.
Monquilcolnen moved even closer and commented, his breath rushing over the sensitive tip of my ear and sending a tremor through my body, “He has a solid set of lungs.”
“Indeed.” I squirmed as my tail coiled around my own ankle.
The urge to run away dashed through me, making my muscles tighten in anticipation, but I controlled the sensation.
Monqilcolnen finally moved from his place in front of me to standing behind me, but he kept the close proximity between us.
Why? And more importantly, why did I want to run from him and cling to him at the same time?
Noxlyn and Camden finally finished their hushed conversation with Noxlyn grunting and refusing to pay up for whatever Camden was demanding.
Camden frowned before turning a blindingly bright smile at me and stepping closer.
As he neared, I felt Monqilcolnen close the minuscule distance between us, his chest brushing my back for the barest moment, which sent my soul skittering.
What by the Crystal’s light was happening?
Camden smirked, then shot Noxlyn a knowing look. “Wyn, perhaps we could get something to eat?”
I glanced at the squalling kit in my arms. Maybe human ears weren’t as sensitive as drakcols’ were? If I took Bobbinvoxlyn out, people would stare the entire time, and I didn’t want to try to eat while jostling an angry baby.
“I believe,” I said, “I should continue to the atrium."
“I see,” he replied. He suddenly threw himself at Noxlyn, making me blink. Noxlyn didn’t react, except to help hold Camden up and shake his head, as if this was a normal occurrence between them. “But, woe is me. I’m near expiring from hunger. I need to eat.”
I blinked at the sudden movement and asked, “Are you truly that hungry?”
“Yep,” he said, smiling and clinging to Noxlyn. “But Nox will take me. You and Monty should keep walking to the atrium for a little outing.”
“I’m sure the commander has other things to do,” I mumbled.
“I would be honored to escort you and Bobbinvoxlyn.”
I swallowed an annoyed growl. Why couldn’t he beg off?
He was a commander. He had to be busy, didn’t he?
Monqilcolnen could hardly hover around me all afternoon, even if I did have Bobbinvoxlyn with me.
Unless Kalvoxrencol had pinged him to request for Monqilcolnen to watch over the kit.
I thought Prince trusted me, at least minimally.
Besides, the Crystal knew Edith was watching Bobbinvoxlyn at all times.
“Wyn,” he said, gesturing in the direction of the atrium.
I fell into step beside him, but I heard Noxlyn mutter, “That doesn't mean anything.”
Camden replied in a light voice, “Yes, it does.”
Both of them vanished in the crowd as we headed toward the atrium.
We remained silent, but thankfully, Bobbinvoxlyn provided more than enough noise to drown out any possible awkwardness.
The glass doors opened at our arrival, and the soothing air of the plants rushed over me, making my tight shoulders relax.
Drakcol needed sun and plants on a primitive level.
I’d been neglecting coming here as often as I needed.
Bobbinvoxlyn gurgled and finally settled, making me cock an eyebrow. Beads of water clung to his blue scales from the high humidity of the atrium, and his round face relaxed as he looked around.
“Apparently, he simply needed some time outside,” Monqilcolnen commented.
I agreed. Back on Tamkolvanloknol, Kalvoxrencol would take him for a daily walk outside. Here, he would take Bobbinvoxlyn out and about, but not quite as often. I switched the kit to my other arm. He wasn’t heavy, not truly, but to carry him non-stop was taxing.
“Shall we?” Monqilcolnen asked as he motioned to the bark path.
While I stepped onto the path winding through the manufactured jungle, I said, “You needn’t come with me. I’m sure you are far too busy.”
“Not at all.” He gave me a serene smile. “I’m happy to spend time with you.”
I didn’t believe him. I wanted to, but no one could remain as calm as Monqilcolnen did for as long as he did; he had to be lying or, at minimum, controlling his emotions to an extreme.
True emotions on his face were rare. Or perhaps I didn’t know him well enough to pick them out.
Or maybe he was shy and not comfortable around me yet.
Then again, he was the purest spiritual soul ever tested.
He might, indeed, be as perfect as he presented.
I came to a stop and looked at the ground, my tail hugging my calf. “May I ask a question?”
“Of course.” He stepped closer. “You don’t have to fear me, Wyn. I won’t get mad at you.”
I hoped that was true. “Did Prince Kalvoxrencol ask you to monitor me?”
“No.”
My eyes lifted to his. “Then why are you here?”
He looked down at me, his mask slipping into a blank expression as his eyes bored into me. “Because I want to be here. With you.”
My soul leaped.
“Please,” he said, his tail gently touching my tense one before flicking away, “Don’t be stressed or fearful of me. You’re always so uncomfortable, and I don’t mean to make you so.”
“You always tell that story,” I replied. “Why wouldn’t I be uncomfortable? I vomited on you, Commander.”
A breathy laugh slipped out of him, and my shoulders relaxed once again. He said, “A mistake on my part, and I did promise not to tell it again. So please, Wyn.”
“I can try.”
Monqilcolnen smiled, a bright one, and his whole aspect changed, making him lighter. He practically glowed, stealing my breath and sending my soul pounding. He whispered, his voice deep, “That’s all I can ask.”
I wanted to ask if he was always so calm, or if it was a front he presented. And if the latter, what did he battle on a daily basis that required such a mask?
I shifted a sleeping Bobbinvoxlyn once again.
It hadn’t taken long for the kit to fall deep asleep as Monqilcolnen and I walked around the atrium.
The commander hadn’t pressed me for conversation, and yet the silence hadn’t felt as oppressive as usual.
Things were calming between the two of us, I hoped.
Eventually, my hope was that I no longer dreaded working with him, nor the inevitable blaster classes, which would resume as soon as soon as my hand healed. But I’d have to see.
Pacing the corridor, I patted Bobbinvoxlyn’s butt as he slept soundly in my arms, cheek resting on my shoulder.
According to Edith, Seth and Kalvoxrencol were asleep, and I loathed to wake them when they hadn’t been sleeping well, but I couldn’t take the kit back to my berth.
There was always someone about, and they would wake Bobbinvoxlyn, who would probably start crying again.
I had pinged for Prince Serlotminden and Bartholomew, even though it had made my stomach curl in discomfort, but they’d been unavailable—probably fucking.
Talvax was on Command, and Urgg was in their bakery.
There was nowhere else to take the kit, but it felt as if my arm was about to fall off. The muscles were burning, and my injured hand cramped anytime I attempted to settle his weight on that arm. My eyes flicked to Commander Monqilcolnen’s office for the millionth time.
“He is in his office,” Edith commented from the monitor across from me. Clearly, she was blatantly ignoring Monqilcolnen’s lecture about invading the Admiral Ven’s systems. She wasn’t even trying to hide it.
“I’m aware. You have told me at least three times.”
“It has been five times precisely,” she replied.
“Because that makes it better?”
Edith chuckled, head bouncing. “He’s unlikely to bite, unless you want him to.”
I gasped. “Edith.”
Her laughter grew louder. “What?”
“We are not like… that, nor have we even discussed acquaintance permissions.” Though perhaps we should.
My thoughts went back to me dragging my finger over his face, him gently touching my hand, his tail touching mine.
My soul sped up. We should discuss them, so such things didn’t happen again, then my soul wouldn’t pound and that odd electricity wouldn’t spread through my veins, confusing me.
“So discuss them,” she replied.
“Edith.”
“What?” she asked again. “It seems reasonable. Besides, at this moment, there’s nowhere else to take Bob. He can nap in Commander Monqilcolnen’s office or his quarters. You don’t even have to ask. You have access to his system, therefore you can enter whenever you wish.”
While accurate, that felt like an invasion of his privacy.
I couldn’t do that. Also, what would Monqilcolnen think if he came to his quarters and found me there?
My gut curled in discomfort at the thought.
He might think I was attempting to initiate something casual between us.
I might be perfectly fine with casual fucking, but I wouldn’t do it with someone of his station or with a superior officer.
“What are your choices?” she asked. “I can wake up Seth or you can ask Monqilcolnen for the use of his quarters.”
There was no choice. I headed down the corridor to his office and palmed the door open.
Monqilcolnen looked up from his desk and his tail paused stock still before twisting. Standing, he asked, “Wyn, is everything well?”
“I’m fine.”
“Then why do you still have Bobbinvoxlyn?”
I shifted the kit again, my arm screaming. What did Kalvoxrencol and Seth feed this child? He was like a rock in my grasp. I paused. Was that why Barusians referred to their children as rocks? Possibly. Bobbinvoxlyn certainly resembled one at this exact moment.
“Seth and Prince Kalvoxrencol are asleep. Prince Serlotminden and Bartholomew are occupied, and I cannot take Bobbinvoxlyn back to my berth. There are too many people.”
“Why haven’t you taken him to mine? You do have access.”
Edith had been right. He didn’t care. As per usual, I was the only one who was overthinking everything. I could’ve merely sent him a note, and Monqilcolnen would have accepted the situation, moving on easily.
“Come,” he said, standing and leading me toward his quarters. Monqilcolnen went directly to his bedroom, and I fought a sudden curl in my stomach that wasn’t exactly discomfort. In fact, the warm pulsing felt nothing like discomfort. But I refused to think about what it did feel like.
His bedroom looked like all of the senior quarters, with a bed, long window, recessed lighting, and a door to the washroom. But I found many differences from the dark gold bedding, the artwork on the walls, and the plush rug, woven into a forest scene.
Monqilcolnen pulled the blanket off and rolled it, which made me frown and my tail flick. I asked, “What are you doing?”
He glanced at me. “Making it safe for him.” With the rolled blanket he made an oval in the center of his bed. “This shall keep him from rolling over or off the bed.”
I wasn’t sure if the kit could roll over yet.
He could support his own head, but I didn’t know if he could do more than that.
Babies were something of a mystery to me.
There had been infants at the care facility I’d grown up in, but I hadn’t interacted with them.
Why would I have? Besides, none had been drakcol babies, let alone human/drakcol hybrids.
“You’re well versed in child care? Do you have one?
” It wasn’t out of the realm of possibility.
He was over ten cycles older than I was, near forty cycles, and while natural pregnancy was rare, Monqilcolnen could’ve gotten someone pregnant or he could have used one of the nesting facilities to make a child, as long as his parents had agreed—Monqilcolnen was still in the first phase of adulthood.
“No,” he replied. “But I often take care of Hallonnixmin’s children. Now, lay Bobbinvoxlyn down.”
Carefully, I placed the kit in the center of the oval, and he mumbled, wings and tail twitching. I held my breath, my eyes fixed on him. The kit stayed asleep. Thank the Crystal. My arm felt like fire, and my muscles were cramping something fierce.
I exited and Monqilcolnen was right behind me, so close I felt his breath rushing over me, tickling the small scales on my neck.
I swallowed. The same curl that wasn’t quite discomfort returned.
My tail coiled around my ankle for a moment before I controlled the action, trying to keep my shoulders straight.
“You can stay here,” Monqilcolnen said, and an odd feeling swelled within my chest as a sudden longing for a home, a place to belong, nearly consumed me. I forced it away. He hadn’t meant that, and I didn’t need a home. I’d carved a place out for myself and was perfectly content with my life.
“Thank you,” I replied, offering him my throat.
He gently touched above my pulse point, right where my scent gland was, and my eyes widened. Monqilcolnen ripped his hand away. “My apologies, but you don’t have to concede to me, Wyn, as I have said.”
“Why not?” I asked before I could stop the words. He was my superior officer. Of course, I needed to concede to his dominance.
“Because you’re special,” Monqilcolnen said before rushing out.
My legs suddenly lost all stability, and I crashed down on the couch, staring blankly at the shared space around me. I cupped the side of my neck that he’d touched, my soul racing. I didn’t even react when Cincin came and sat next to me or even when she meowed insistently.
Monqilcolnen didn’t… He couldn’t, right? He didn’t care about me in that sense. It wasn’t possible. My soul thrummed at the possibility as the heavy curl returned to my gut.