Chapter 30
Peace happens at night.
Wyn was curled against my chest, face pressed in the crook of my neck. His breathing had started to turn even, which alerted me to the fact he was going to fall asleep. I trailed my fingers over his back, relishing the feel of him in my arms. This was perfect. Everything with him was.
But this intimacy had to end; I needed to wake him up.
Wyn had made it clear he didn’t spend the night after fucking—he didn’t like to and probably worried about people’s remarks.
It shouldn’t be so, but I couldn’t change people’s perception of our relationship.
In time, hopefully, everyone would see us for what we were: two people who cared about one another.
Then again, they’d never seen me outside of my soul, so why should this be different?
I pressed gentle kisses to the top of his head, still feeling the tenderness of our fucking. It hadn’t been the rough fuck I’d anticipated, but it had been no less enjoyable. In some ways, the slow, softness of our fucking had felt more intimate and lovely than I ever thought possible.
“Wyn,” I muttered, and he rumbled. I nuzzled his head, chuckling. “Are you going to stay with me tonight or return to your berth?”
He shoved me onto my back, threw an arm over my waist, his wing following suit, and released a long breath.
One of my hands naturally rested on the curve of his lower spine right above his butt. My fingers played with the delicate scales around the base of his tail, and Wyn didn’t stir more than to coil his tail around mine.
“Wyn,” I tried again.
He growled, biting me. Hard. “Go to sleep, Monqilcolnen.”
I kissed the top of his head. “As you desire.”
It took only a handful of breaths before Wyn was deep asleep. I continued to stroke his back, careful of his malformed wing. I was unsure of how much Wyn would like me to touch it, and I loathed the thought of doing more damage to him or causing him the slightest pain, at least outside of sex.
I knew I shouldn’t treat him any different than I would any other bed partner—though he meant a great deal more to me than any before him—and yet, part of me wanted to.
I had to actively fight against the urge.
Wyn’s wing didn’t change him in the slightest. He was still him, and he was as capable as he was before I’d known of his wing.
Yes, he couldn’t fly, so much of our world was inaccessible to him, which infuriated me and also shamed me.
Before this moment, I’d never thought nor cared about such things, and I should have. My attachment to Wyn shouldn’t be the sole reason I cared nor the sole reason I thought of such things.
“I am trying,” I whispered to him. “Please don’t leave me before I figure it out.”
Wyn pressed closer, his face tucking against me. I would like to think it was from my words, but it was probably due to the fact I was disturbing his sleep.
His other wing was covering me, as was his arm, and I smiled at the protective move.
Generally, most drakcol preferred to have their wings spread during sleep and fucking.
Seekers theorized the movement was a protective gesture for sleeping and copulating with your mate.
Whether that was true or not didn’t matter in this moment.
Wyn was guarding me even in his sleep, and I felt safe.
I kissed the top of his head. “You know what you bring to me? Peace. Actual peace.”
It was such a rarity in my life. I always felt I had to be alert at all times, maintaining my mask and keeping my calm or bracing myself against the random intuitions that sent me reeling, as well as people's expectations and unwanted comments.
Never was I not trying to prove my worth and justify my place in the stars.
But when I was with Wyn, such things vanished, and I felt whole. I felt… like me, just me.
Wrapping my wings around him, I held Wyn close and let sleep take me.
It was warm. So impossibly warm. I pressed closer, spreading my wings, and paused.
I never slept with my wings free, which pained them a great deal, but I hated the pitying looks, the side glances, or the offers to take me flying so I could feel what it was like to be a “real” drakcol.
I wasn’t embarrassed in the slightest by them nor did I care what people thought, but it was easier for me not to deal with it.
Perhaps I shouldn’t hide them from my berth mates for my own convenience. I would have to think on it.
I stretched my wings, and the normal ache was gone.
Something tugged me closer, and my eyes popped open. Monqilcolnen was beneath me, arms around me. Our tails were wrapped around each other, but unlike his loose hold, I was clutching his tail in a rather tight grip, as if I feared separation.
Never had I stayed the night with someone like this.
I’d always left. After Monqilcolnen and I had…
well, fucked, though that didn’t seem like the correct word for the tender exchange, I’d been exhausted.
I remembered deciding to stay last night, and apparently I had.
I stared down at the perfect man beneath me, his mouth slightly open as he breathed deeply in his sleep. He was so special, so utterly special.
It had to be earlier than my duty shift, because NAID hadn’t issued my wake up alarm. It wouldn’t matter where I was on the ship, as the computer would track me through my touchstone’s location. Nevertheless, the hour had to be late enough that I needed to get up and ready, as much as I loathed it.
I brushed my finger down the center of Monqilcolnen’s face, kissed his temple, then wiggled out of his grasp. Before I could escape, the arms surrounding me yanked me close. A startled squeak ripped out of me, and my soul raced.
Monqilcolnen asked, his voice thick with sleep, “And where do you think you’re going, Peace?”
My soul burst inside my chest, fragmenting into thousands of stars. He’d given me an endearment. I leaned into him, and he nipped my neck, sending a pleasant thrum to my cock. As much as I would enjoy fucking this morning, we didn’t have time—I was sure of it.
“I was going to get cleaned up,” I answered.
He rested his chin on my shoulder, pushing his face into my neck to kiss the scent gland there.
My stomach curled, and my breath picked up.
I fisted his hair, holding him against me.
My scent needed to coat him. Everyone had to know he belonged to me, and I wasn’t going to share him, not at all, so they had better all leave Monqilcolnen alone and cast their hopes for him aside.
If they didn’t… I was more than willing to fight to defend my claim.
Monqilcolnen didn’t fight my hold and continued to trail kisses over me, paying particular attention to my scent gland, licking it slowly. It didn’t take long for my cock to fill from the attention.
“We don’t have time,” I whined, though I tilted my head to the side to give him more room.
“Don’t we?”
“No,” I panted.
Undeterred, he continued to nibble and kiss me until I was groaning for him and grinding my hips against him, my shaft dragging most magnificently over his scales. Monqilcolnen pushed me flat on the bed and hovered over me. I brushed my fingers over his face before threading them through his hair.
“I like waking up to you in my bed,” he commented, mask firmly in place. He clearly cared about this, but didn’t want me to know that.
I traced his lips. “I like being here.”
“Will you stay?”
My fingers lingered on the side of his mouth that every so often quirked up in humor. “Some of the time.”
He kissed the pad of my finger. “I would like that.”
“Then we’ll add it to our permissions. I will stay overnight… once a week.”
“Twice a week,” he countered, and I laughed. Monqilcolnen pressed kisses against me, and I kept chuckling as his lips tickled me.
Permissions weren’t necessarily a negotiation, but rather, the one person telling you what they were and were not comfortable with.
With us, there was a bit more compromise involved.
If Monqilcolnen had his way, I would be here every night, and if I was my usual self, I would never be here.
Though, if I was honest with myself, I didn’t feel like I usually did.
I wanted to be here far more than I could’ve anticipated.
“Let’s start with one and build up to two,” I whispered, resting my fingers on his lips.
With a kiss to my fingertip, he replied, “Fine.”
I pulled him down and kissed him, our lips meeting in a slow, sensuous kiss.
This could go nowhere this morning, and, strangely enough, I didn’t want it to.
I wanted to kiss Monqilcolnen simply to kiss him, to feel him beside me, to exist in this moment with him.
I flicked my tongue out, and he opened for me, deepening the kiss.
We remained like that, kissing and touching one another, simply basking in the other’s presence, until NAID issued my wake up alarm.
With a growl from us both, we separated and got in the shower before starting our days.