Chapter 38
Why don't I remember?
I prodded the exposed wiring in the conduit with my tool.
It was misaligned, and I was attempting to right the problem, but my mind wasn’t on the task.
All I could think about was that space-begotten stylus in Monqilcolnen’s office.
It had been three days since Vorjyn had dropped that particular piece of information, and not once had it left my thoughts.
During this time, I’d barely seen Monqilcolnen—we were both busy, and I was still hurt about the stupid stylus.
However, I’d caught glimpses of him with Vorjyn.
The sight irked me. It didn’t matter Vorjyn had said he possessed no designs on Monqilcolnen; I still didn’t like it.
It also didn’t help that Cencay had basically proclaimed themself our relationship go-between.
We’d taken to running around the docking ring together every night, and they’d given me, in excruciating detail, exactly what Monqilcolnen had done all day.
They were trying to help, or perhaps they’d sensed my jealousy and were trying to ease it.
However, hearing about Monqilcolnen from someone else was grating on me.
Hissing, I yanked back when I poked the wire too hard and it split. Now I had to do more work. I was eating lunch with Seth and Urgg, and I had to finish this first. My thoughts needed to stop focusing on the stylus and start focusing on the job in front of me.
“Problem?” Edith asked, her voice coming through my touchstone. At least she’d stopped infiltrating the Admiral Ven’s systems.
“No,” I replied, jabbing the conduit in front of me without even looking.
“Hmm, somehow, I don’t believe that is an accurate statement.”
I grunted. This wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have.
“Edith Smith says we shouldn’t force people to talk about what bothers them. Seth says much the same. But sometimes I do think it would be convenient if I could force people to speak, then I could solve their problems,” she commented. “I am very wise.”
I took a deep breath and leaned back against the tunnel wall, drawing my knees up. “Edith, not even you can solve everything.”
“Well, you don’t know that if you won’t tell me. Once again, wise.”
Chuckling, I shook my head. I gripped the touchstone, my mind’s eye seeing the stylus on his trinkets shelf. “No, you can’t solve this problem. It’s something I need to handle on my own.”
She released a long breath. “Fine, be that way. I have asked for your help before.”
“You have.” My project on the AI kill code was her idea, after all.
“I want to help you as well. We’re friends.”
“You do,” I told her. “You are a dear friend, Edith, and right now, that’s all I need.”
“Fine, but I’m always here if you want to talk.”
“I do know that, but thank you for the reminder.” I ended the session and pushed my touchstone back into my pocket.
Talking to Edith, even if I hadn’t told her about what was going on, helped calm me, but it wouldn’t last. My instincts were especially potent when it came to Monqilcolnen. The thought of him wanting someone else while being with me was a knife deep in my gut.
However, I needed to get my work done, so I did my best to put the commander out of my thoughts and focus.
It only slightly worked, but I was able to repair the misfiring, though I did have to log the split wire repair—the repair because of my temper.
Hopefully Qinlin wouldn’t want to speak to me about it.
I shimmied out of the tunnels, intending to head to the promenade and meet with Urgg and Seth, when I caught sight of Camden staring out of the large window that looked out to space.
The window was framed with vines erupting with flowers, and he was gripping the safety bar and taking deep breaths. I frowned, eyebrows drawing together.
“Camden,” I called, heading toward him. “Are you well?”
“Of course. I’m always fine.”
That was a lie, but before I pressed, I silenced the questions. Just as I didn’t want Edith to pester me, it was very possible Camden didn’t want me to pester him either. So I swallowed my concerns and instead asked, “Where is Noxlyn?”
He released a sigh. “Busy.”
My frown deepened. Basically, every time I saw either of them, it was with each other.
They always seemed to be right beside each other.
If Camden had been anyone else, I would’ve thought he and Noxlyn might have been courting, but the human didn’t like males and had no desire for romance currently, as he’d said.
Unable to remain silent, I asked, “Is there an issue?”
“I’m missing my little brother.”
My head cocked. I remembered him mentioning a younger brother.
Was this why he had come on the Admiral Ven in the first place?
Probably. I should’ve put it together earlier.
Wait. Had he told me? I had a vague memory of him talking about something like that.
I hadn’t really been paying attention. I’d been distracted of late.
“Has the Cohort said whether you can bring him on board?”
He shook his head. “No. Teddy is having the same issue about his family.” Camden faced me, eyes stark. “I can’t leave Kai there.”
“Why?”
“When I was taken, he was still a kid. I mean, he’s eighteen, maybe.
I don’t honestly know how long it’s been exactly.
But he lived with our father, who wasn’t…
Well, let’s just say kind. I have to talk to Kai.
I have to tell him I didn’t abandon him, and more importantly, I have to make sure he’s safe. Here. With me.”
“Have you told the Cohort this?”
“No. But I did ask to bring him here.”
I shifted closer to Camden. “Exposing yourself to people can be hard, but if you tell the Cohort all of this, in great detail, and reference that you in all honor are responsible for Kai and cannot leave him behind, then it will help you.”
“Really?” he asked with a smile.
“Yes. Ask Caleb to help you. No one is as good at twisting words around as him.”
Camden sagged. “Thank you, Wyn.”
“Of course.” When not all of the tension left his body, I asked, “Is there anything else?”
“Noxlyn.”
My brow furrowed. “What about him?”
“He didn’t tell me what he was doing.” Camden gave me a smile, but it just looked sad to my eyes. “He doesn’t have to, of course, but he’s never not told me before.”
“Perhaps he’s stalking Seth or Bartholomew again?” I offered. It was the only thing I could think of to comfort Camden. His sadness twisted my soul. I didn’t like the hopeless look in his eye, like he’d given up. I guessed even the hope of getting his brother back wasn’t enough.
Camden straightened, blinking. “He might be doing what?”
I chuckled. “I’ve found him following Seth and Batholomew and their mates before.”
“I didn’t know that.” Camden grinned, eyes brightening. “I’m going to go find them, and possibly Noxy.”
“Have fun,” I called as Camden raced off, asking NAID where Bartholomew was.
As I watched him chase after Noxlyn, my thoughts yet again returned to Monqilcolnen and that stylus.
I couldn’t do this anymore. I had to know, and I couldn’t wait anymore.
After a quick ping to Urgg and Seth to let them know I was going to be late, I raced down the halls to the one person who could answer the burning questions inside of me.
I glanced at the time, then returned to the report I was attempting to read.
Cencay had put it at the top of my queue, which meant I needed to finish it today.
However, I was having a hard time concentrating.
Vorjyn was meeting me for lunch again, wanting to continue catching up.
I’d only agreed because Wyn was going to be with Seth and Urgg.
I hadn’t seen much of him lately, and his absence was starting to shred my nerves.
I needed to make more time in my busy schedule for him, as he’d refused to sleep in my room since the night after we’d fucked on the Kanxan station.
To say I missed him was a gross understatement. It was as if a hole had been carved out in the center of my chest.
The door to my office opened, and I looked up with a smile. “Wyn.”
He didn’t return my smile, which made it die on my face and my mask slide into place. My soul throbbed as ice flooded me. I held out my arms, hoping he didn’t see them trembling.
Please come to me, I silently begged. If he were to separate from me, I wouldn’t survive it. Had this been why he was avoiding me? Had he finally realized I didn’t measure up?
Wyn crossed my office without hesitation and straddled my lap, curling against my chest. I held him close and dragged my fingers over his back, feeling his wings twitch against my touch. My tail sought his, and I wasn’t denied. With Wyn wrapped around me, some semblance of calm returned.
Whatever was wrong, it didn’t appear as if Wyn was going to leave me.
“What’s wrong?” I asked against his ear. His wings twitched even more. He probably needed to let them out. Wyn only slept with his wings free when he was in bed with me; he truly needed to to do it every single night. That was his choice, though, and he’d explained his reasoning to me.
“Vorjyn.”
“Wyn,” I groaned, kissing his ear. Picking up Vorjyn had clearly been a mistake, but I couldn’t have refused the order. Even if I could have, I wouldn’t have. He’d been in danger and needed a rescue. “I do not want him.”
He sat back, and I gripped his hips to keep him on my lap. I couldn’t tolerate any separation right now. Thankfully, Wyn didn’t pull away. He set his hands on my shoulders, playing with my uniform. “He told me something.”
I frowned. What could Vorjyn have said to upset Wyn? I nudged his chin up so our eyes connected. “What?”
“That you want someone else.”
I snorted. “I don’t.”
“He said you do.”
“Wyn,” I said, cupping his cheek. “I only want you. Trust me.”
“We won’t work.”
“Yes, we will,” I said in a rush, snagging Wyn tight against me as my soul thrashed against my ribs in an attempt to escape. “We will. There’s no reason we won’t.”