Chapter 45
Need.
My head throbbed, and I pressed closer to the warmth surrounding me. Strong bands encased me even tighter, making me feel impossibly safe. A tangy scent filled my lungs with each inhale. I exhaled with a moan of need.
Mine, I thought. That scent was all mine.
Nuzzling, I claimed it. I wasn’t going to share it. Not ever. I would allow no one to ever touch what was mine. I growled, clambering on top, ignoring the thudding pound in my temples, to nuzzle more.
More and more and more. I needed to bathe it in my scent.
A deep rumble sounded beneath me, and I paused, finally opening my eyes.
The first thing I saw was a stretch of green broken up by white and gold.
My eyes continued up the taut muscles to the thick corded neck to the strong chin to the full lips to the straight nose until landing on the golden eyes that unnerved me with their intelligence and yet captivated me so much I couldn’t look away.
“Star,” I breathed. The sound came from somewhere so deep within me I could hardly say where.
One of his large hands slid down my side and ended on the swell of my butt. The touch wasn’t pressing or insistent, but rather one of ownership. Monqilcolnen clearly knew who I belonged to.
My tail flicked, and I swallowed when I’d realized what I’d done. I’d scent marked Monqilcolnen without permission. I was claiming him; it wasn’t right. But something deep inside me refused to shy away from him. I cared about Monqilcolnen, and I didn’t want to be apart from him.
“Wyn?” he asked, his tail taking mine as surely as his hand had cupped my butt. “Are you well?”
“My apologies.”
The divot between his eyebrows deepened. “For what?”
“I shouldn’t have…” I didn’t regret scent marking him. The mere thought of anyone else ever touching Monqilcolnen or seeing him like this beneath them was enough to set my teeth on edge and my wings flaring, especially since Vorjyn, who’d seen Monqilcolnen like this, was on board.
I blinked, then glanced at my free wings. The last thing I recalled was drinking in the canteen with Seth, Urgg, and Bartholomew. I’d been fully clothed. It took but one moment to ascertain I wasn’t wearing clothes anymore. My scales were deliciously pressed right against Monqilcolnen’s.
His hand gripped my plump cheek a tad harder. “I undressed you. I didn’t wish for you to be uncomfortable.”
My lips found the thick scales over his pounding soul, nibbling. “Thank you.”
Holding me firmly against him, he worked his tail up and down my legs, tickling and stroking me. “Now, why were you apologizing?”
I buried my face. “I shouldn’t have scent marked you like that.”
Monqilcolnen rumbled beneath me again, and I was uncertain as to whether it was a silent growl of annoyance or a suppressed chuckle of humor.
He kissed the top of my head. “I’m not mad or offended in the slightest, Wyn.”
I peeked up at him, the pink strands of my hair hanging around my face. “Truly?”
Monqilcolnen cupped my cheek. “Truly.”
With a smile, I rested against his chest, my ear over his thrumming soul. The even tempo soothed me and helped ease the ache in my head.
“Are you well?” he asked again.
“My head hurts.”
“You did drink far too much.”
“I had fun.”
Another kiss alighted on my head. “That pleases me.”
I smiled. I’d never had someone who was happy simply because I was, who enjoyed my enjoyment, who wanted me to have fun even if it didn’t include them.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” he asked.
“Don’t move.”
“Ah, Peace, I’m more than happy to stay right here.”
Closing my eyes, I sprawled on his chest. I rose and fell with the movement of his even breaths and listened to the vibration of his soul.
The more I focused on his pulse, the more I realized something.
My soul was beating in perfect time with his.
It didn’t make any sense. Our pulses should in no way be synced, and yet they were. Somehow.
As if… I swallowed at the leading thought, not wanting to finish it, but unable to stop it. As if we were made for each other. As if we were soulmates. As if I was meant to be right here in this moment with Monqilcolnen. As if we were supposed to walk beside one another for the rest of our lives.
I didn’t believe Wyn was asleep, but he seemed content enough to lie on my chest and let his fingers wander over my scales. Every so often a light kiss would press to the scales right above my soul.
Much like we had in our experience, part of me wished to gift my soul scales to Wyn.
I wished to rip part of me off and offer it to my mate.
To tell him he was all I wanted in this life.
That I trusted him to protect me, to guard my soul.
But I didn’t think Wyn would appreciate it, nor did I wish him to feel indebted to do the same.
Even imagining Wyn in pain and vulnerable like that was far too much for me.
A growl started to form low in my gut, making me vibrate a tad. Wyn glanced up at me, his eyebrows drawing together. I smoothed them apart with my thumb, and he kissed the pad of the digit.
“I didn’t mean to disturb you.” I kept my voice low so as to not cause him any pain in his post-drunken state.
“You didn’t.” He slid a bit closer, and my throat caught. I wanted Wyn’s lips on mine, but he stopped before I could capture his mouth. Wyn said, “Why did you growl? And why do you always swallow it?”
My fingers tangled in his silky hair. “I growled because my mind conjured the image of you in pain.”
Wyn nipped my wrist closest to him.
“I suppress it like all my other outward emotions.”
“Why?” he asked, his tail curling around my arm.
“I need to be perfect,” I confessed.
“Why?”
That word was the favorite of all seekers. They had to discover everything with their insatiable curiosity; Wyn was no different. I replied, “Because I did not join the Ranks.”
Wyn growled, and I blinked. He prowled closer to me with narrowed eyes, claiming my chin in a firm grasp that made my cock wake up and take notice.
I liked aggressive Wyn far more than I would’ve thought.
My mind formed a much more pleasant image this time.
My mate wearing a tantalizing leather harness as he forced my legs apart and claimed me while holding my throat with his hand.
I swallowed at the sudden wave of lust. I not only wanted to dominate Wyn; I also wished to be dominated by him. Maybe even more so.
“Monqilcolnen,” Wyn snapped, drawing my focus back to where it should’ve been all along.
He didn’t loosen his hold as he continued in a low voice lined with feral intensity, “You are not perfect, nor should you try to be. You may hold the purest spiritual soul, but you do not have to be anything else besides you.”
“I do, though,” I whispered.
Wyn lifted my chin and pressed a firm kiss to my lips. I moaned, but he didn’t allow me to deepen it. “You do not.”
“I defied expectations,” I confessed. “I was slated for the Ranks as soon as my soul was known, like almost all other spiritual souls. We are rare, Wyn. So rare. I didn’t follow the call of my soul.”
“Yes, you did, Star.”
My eyes fell closed at the endearment.
His fingers lovingly, if I dared allow myself to think, stroked my cheek.
“You did follow your soul. You want this. I know you do. You love space, Monqilcolnen. You followed your soul, even when it didn’t lead where others thought it would.
You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to prove anything.
You don’t have to care about people’s expectations. ”
He was right, of course. I knew that, but at times, I felt guilty for defying what had been expected and was still expected of me. To make up for it, I had to be utterly perfect, to prove I made the right choice, to be better than expected.
“You are enough,” Wyn said, pressing a gentle kiss to my lips. “You, Monqilcolnen, just as you are is more than enough.”
I took a shaky inhale.
My eyes latched onto his perfect blue ones, and I moaned at the sight of him. I’d always had this need to go to space, even before I’d been soul tested. I’d known the stars were where I belonged.
I held his face between my palms. “My soul led me to you.”
Wyn tried to duck his head, but I didn’t allow him to. I knew without a doubt my inner fire, my soul, and fate itself had led me right to this man.