4. Chapter Four
Chapter Four
Goldie came to get him for the dinner Murphy mentioned, and he was nervous as he nodded and closed the door of his room behind him.
It felt like he was walking to his death, but he had to get over it sometime. That feeling…people meant pain. People hurt other people. They couldn’t even help it. It was mental illness or bad moods, road rage, breakups, whatever caused it, they’d turn around and hurt others over it every single time.
Goldie made small talk while they walked to the stairs. “You’re from here originally?”
“Yeah. Well, Broomfield.”
“Same difference,” he said, laughing. “I lived in Aurora. Nice place, but I got into my share of trouble.”
“Let me guess,” he said as they descended the stairs to get to Goldie’s floor. “You’re reformed now.”
Goldie’s voice was deep and bassy, sexy as hell, just like he was. Shaved bald, muscled, dark skin shining with life. Yeah, he was the sexiest man he’d seen since before he’d gone inside.
But he was part of this group that Liam knew he’d never fit into, so there was no chance he’d make a move.
“Yeah, reformed. I got everything I need here. Money, a nice place, good people.”
“No one is good. Not really.”
“That’s cynical,” he pointed as they got to the landing and started toward their living room and kitchen. “But I get it. You just got out. It’s rough those first few months, my friend. You landed in the best place you could, though.”
“You…you guys got a gym around here?”
“We have equipment in the basement. Good equipment. Murphy likes us to stay in shape. It brings in the patrons, you feel me? I’ll take you down there after we eat.”
“Thanks.”
It was like Murphy had explained. The living room and kitchen of Goldie’s common area looked as though the seventies had never left. Orange, purple, and multiple shades of green were the primary colors, and it was beautiful, but strange.
Through a thick wooden door was the owner’s apartment. The walls were done in the old brick, like the bar, and the furniture was comfortable, white sofas, barn wood coffee tables, end tables, and such. Around a corner lay a gigantic kitchen, the island with the wood and metal stools surrounding it, taking up more than half the space.
Already, men gathered on those stools and once Goldie announced Liam’s arrival, they all turned and slid from the stools to greet him.
What a bunch they were. A tiny, overly thin blond man came to him first, wearing thick black eyeliner. He reached out his hand to Liam, and Liam noticed the nail polish that matched his eyeliner. “I’m Absinthe, or Abs, for short,” he said in a creamy, falsetto voice. “Welcome to the family.”
“Abs,” Murphy hissed.
Abs’ blue eyes widened comically. “Sorry! Yeah, um, welcome to the club?”
Liam eyed Murphy suspiciously. Someone had told him that Liam wasn’t the biggest fan of family. He only hoped the guys didn’t know the complete story. Whenever anyone learned about it, they treated him differently.
The next to shake his hand was a guy in a fedora and sunglasses. He wore them inside at night. “I’m Hypnotic, but these guys call me Hippy.”
“Hi,” he said, smiling a little.
A small, beautiful man in a black sweater was next in line, dark hair and eyes, with distinctive middle eastern features. “I’m Mims, or Mimosa. Welcome.”
As Mims turned, Liam heard him whisper to Abs, “Why does Paps only hire young guys?”
A Latino man came to him with his hand proffered. “Haze. Nice to meet you, Cosmo.”
“Thanks, you, too.”
Goldie set a large hand on his shoulder. “This is the bartending crew, but those two over there, that’s Murph, who you know, but the fine brother next to him is his better half, Eazy. He was once upon a time called Hurricane and slept in your room.”
Eazy came around the island and instead of shaking his hand, he hugged Liam briefly. “Welcome to our home, our pub, and if you need anything, you let me know. Don’t tell Murphy, he never remembers a thing.”
Murphy rolled his eyes as he laughed. “He’s right, but vicious. The little kids are with their aunt, who you’ll meet too. She’s a common face around here. My son from another marriage, Ryan, is at school, but he’s here often, and my father is napping. You’ll have to get used to his craggy old face, too.”
Liam was a little overwhelmed to be around all of them, but he played it off like he’d learned to do for years. Sitting between Haze and Goldie at the island, he watched Eazy getting the food cooked.
“Salmon with roasted vegetables,” Eazy told him. “If you’re not a fan of seafood or have any allergies, let me know. We have dinner all together at least once a week.”
Murphy added, “You’re not obligated to attend. You’re not obligated to do anything except your job, parole stuff and, well, cleaning up after yourself.”
“Damn right,” Eazy said. “I’m nobody’s maid.”
“He’s not lying,” Goldie whispered to him. “Eazy sees a mess, and he’s gonna jump everyone’s ass until it’s dealt with.”
Eazy lifted his head and smiled to Goldie. “I’m not a maid, but I am the general shopper around here.”
Eazy was gorgeous. He had creamy skin that was a little darker than a good tan. Liam figured he was biracial, especially since he was a black man with very light golden eyes. Tall, lean but fit, and he smiled…a lot. Like everything around him made him happy.
Liam wondered what that must be like. He’d never been truly happy. Not when he was young, not growing up, and never since he’d become an adult. To be happy to him was a foreign thing, like everyone pretended to be that way, hiding their darker thoughts, like he did.
Before he could think on that more, an older man came into the kitchen, complaining, “Mary, Mother of God, what is this about? Some fag orgy or some shit?”
Liam’s eyes got wide as he heard, but the others just poked at him with teasing. Goldie, in that deep, velvet voice, said, “Exactly, Mick. We were just waiting for you.”
“I like pussy, thank you,” he said, then walked right over to the stove and opened the oven to peek inside. “What’s this shit?”
“Salmon, you old prick,” Eazy told him. “Most Irish people like fish. It’s an island!”
“To hell with that! Never liked it. My old granddaddy didn’t either, and he was from the place. The island , ya smartass.”
They were all laughing, and Liam thought for sure Mick would be hurt or pissed off, but he started laughing too when Eazy got in the fridge and produced a raw steak. “This is yours, Mick.”
“That’s my boy,” Mick said, patting Eazy’s shoulder. His eyes moved along the group, but stopped when they landed on Liam. “Who in God’s good name are you?”
Liam opened his mouth, then closed it before he finally said, “I’m Liam, sir.”
They all broke up when he called Mick sir. “Dad, this is Liam MacManus, the new guy.”
“Liam MacManus! Why didn’t ya say so? A good Irish lad? It’s about time.”
Mick moved around to him and took his hand, shaking it wildly. “Good Irish stock. Good lookin’ too! Well, welcome aboard, boyo.”
As he smiled, all his yellowed teeth showed, and for some reason, Liam felt more at ease. He knew men like that. They rarely gave a good word to anyone. “Thank you, sir.”
He sat on a stool between Goldie and Mimosa. Mims, he was supposed to call the guy, but he wished he knew real names. He’d never liked nicknames or pet names. They reminded him too much of his young childhood.
Still, calling men drinks wasn’t as bad as honey, sweetie, or the like. Liam knew if he had to, he’d get used to it.
The food was amazing, and they all spoke together during the meal, laughter flowing and warmth growing. Liam saw them sneaking looks at him, each one of them, but he supposed that was normal. He was the new guy, and hopefully, they knew very little about him.
Abs was teasing Mims. “So, who is the new guy? And how long has he been in the closet and married to a woman?”
Mims laughed and confessed, “Seven years, and it’s just a date!”
Goldie joined in the teasing. “Well, that’s a relief! I’m sure his wife will think the same. It’s only a date, with a man.”
Mims stuck his tongue out at Goldie, but begged Haze, “Aren’t you going to defend me?”
“Not on this, my dear little brother. I enjoy brave men who don’t have wives, or husbands, or grandchildren.”
Murphy saw Liam’s wonder over the subject, and with his brows that he suddenly realized were drawn. “Liam, our sweet Mims likes older men. He’s got a daddy thing.”
“Do not!”
They all stared at Mims until he relented. “Fine but, damn! Older men are fire!”
“Thank you,” Murphy said, and Eazy smacked his arm. “Enough of that. This old bastard is all mine.”
Mick lifted his head from how he was hunched over his plate long enough to say, “And I don’t like willies—”
“I like the fillies,” they all chanted in unison, making Mick laugh.
“You all are a bunch of pricks.”
Back to razzing Mims, Haze asserted, “Find a guy your own age.”
“They’re all like me, and who the fuck wants to date someone like me?”
“Any of us would, if Murph allowed it,” Haze said, throwing a wink at Mims.
“I knew you wanted me.”
“No one’s allowed to date the other guys here?” Liam asked.
“No, it’s just better,” Murphy said. “I broke my own rule with Eazy, so he quit the team. If people break up and still have to work together, it makes a much less cohesive team.”
Liam didn’t get why the hell it would matter. They were bartenders, not cops.
Goldie backed up Murphy. “It’s better, yeah. Besides, we all are close friends, so we wouldn’t want to lose that.”
Abs blew Goldie a kiss. “Best friends!”
“Yes, Dark and Delicious, best friends,” Goldie growled.
Abs was pale, both his regular skin and enhanced by makeup, but he blushed bright red and blew Goldie more kisses. Dark and Delicious. That was a sweet nickname, even if Liam hated all nicknames.
“What’s up for this weekend?” Hippy asked as he pushed away his plate. He’d been quiet throughout the meal because he was concentrating on his food. “Any bachelor parties or anything?”
“Why? Got plans?” Murphy asked.
“There is a jam session at the blues club I’d like to go to, if you can spare me.”
“Not until after midnight. That okay?”
“That’s great! It starts at one, so plenty of time. Thanks, Murph,” he said as he slid off the stool and then, to Liam, he said, “Welcome aboard, Cosmo.”
“Thanks,” Liam said, wishing he could have chosen his own name, if he had to have one at all.
They all had a beer in their hands as they sat outside on the veranda, as Eazy called it, except for Haze, who was working at the bar that night. The veranda was over the corner entrance of the bar and looked out on the city.
It was a nice place, the hum of the city like a strange music that accompanied their lounging.
Murphy and Eazy sat together on the loveseat that was dark wood and subtle sage cushions. Abs sat with Goldie across from them. Abs’ legs slung across Goldie’s as they laughed at some inside joke.
Mims was on the phone, off in a corner where they couldn’t hear, sipping on his beer while listening to whoever was on the other side of the line.
It was nice, it was peaceful, and felt like family, so Liam hated it. It made him uncomfortable, watchful, wondering what the hell was going on under the sweetness and light. There was always something underneath that. Something sinister, and possibly even murderous.
He bade everyone goodnight soon after he’d finished his beer and made it back to his room after only a couple of wrong turns along the way. Locking the door, feeling old thoughts stirring in his head, he wished for the sweet feeling of being alone.
In the room, he was, of course, but Liam felt them all around him. He felt their eyes and looked around the room for cameras. Maybe being in prison was better. He’d made no genuine connections and felt alone, even in crowds.
Still, he’d had to dodge men much bigger, with their entourage attached at the hip, in order to keep himself from being raped. That had become a full-time job for him. He’d succeeded, however, and he wasn’t looking to go back to that.
The next morning, after knocking on his door and Liam letting him inside his room, Goldie took him to the basement where the gym was located. As soon as they got down the concrete steps, he saw weights, rowing machines, stationary bikes, and more.
“This is a nice setup.”
“It is. I’m down here a lot,” Goldie confessed, and Liam believed him. “Helps with anxiety. I was a mess before I started working out.”
“When was that, when you were twelve?”
Goldie laughed and pointed to the archway and closed door on the right hand wall. “That’s storage for the pub. You’ll need to know where everything is once you begin work. We make quite a few trips downstairs on weekends. Murphy tries to help, but it’s faster to do it ourselves, and, sorry to say, the new guy is usually the runner.”
“Gotcha.”
On the left hand wall were two built-in bookcases, sunken into the cinderblock wall. Liam thought that was weird, having bookcases in the gym, but he shrugged that off, glad to know there were books he could read when he wanted.
In bed that second night, Liam slept fitfully. Too much family time in the pub had already brought back the nightmares. He finally got up at three that next morning and made it to the kitchen, where he drank two glasses of water and sat on the stool at the kitchen island as he thought over his new reality.
Better than prison, sure. Did he trust any of the men? Not even a little. For the time being, however, he planned to go along until he could find his own job and a way to distance himself from all human beings.
Like he wanted it.