Chapter 19
nineteen
. . .
Hugh
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
I’d never experienced anything like this before.
This need. This desire. This want.
Lila fucking James was inexperienced, yet she managed to give me the best blow job of my life, all while getting herself off at the same time.
I’d never seen anything or anyone sexier.
I looked down at her as she pulled away and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. She looked up at me with big, dark, trusting eyes. “Wow. Is it always like that? Or is this just a Hugh Reynolds thing?”
I reached down and pulled her to her feet, brushing the hair away from her beautiful face with my hands. “It’s never like that. It’s definitely a Lila James thing.”
I couldn’t believe all that had happened today, and I’d yet to really touch her.
Or kiss her. Sure, we’d pleasured one another.
But I wanted to kiss every inch of her sweet body.
We’d crossed a line, and there was no going back now.
And even with the guilt that I felt about betraying my best friend, I only wanted more.
I only wanted her.
I was a greedy bastard. Especially when it came to Lila.
“I hope the sex is just as good as everything else has been,” she whispered, and I barked out a laugh before reaching for my briefs and pulling them on before my dick started thinking about going for round two.
“We’re not having sex tonight, Snow.” I pulled her back into my arms and kissed the top of her head.
“Why not?”
“Because today has been a lot, and this is all pretty new to you, so we’re not fucking rushing it.
You’ve come twice, and I haven’t even been inside you yet.
Nor have I kissed you nearly enough or explored your gorgeous body.
There’s no rush. We’ve got two months, right?
” I asked her casually, but for whatever reason, those words stung.
Hell, normally two months with someone would be a really long time.
But with Lila, it felt like it would never be enough.
We’d decided to do this, so I wasn’t going to run anymore.
But I also wasn’t going to rush anything.
“I thought you were a player,” she said, her voice teasing.
I pulled back to look at her. “Are you shaming me for trying to be a good guy?”
“Maybe. But you can’t call all the shots, or this won’t work. We’ve got two months, so you need to play fair. I feel like you hold all the power.” She moved to sit on the bed and crossed her arms over her chest.
“Oh, yeah? How do I hold all the power?” I moved closer, pushing to stand between her knees.
“Because you have what I want,” she purred.
My dick shot up in response.
She knew what she was doing.
I placed my hand beneath her chin and lifted so her gaze would meet mine.
“Trust me. You have what I want. But we don’t need to rush. I’ll never deny you, Lila. But I won’t do anything that I think will hurt you.”
“You think you’re going to hurt me, Bear?” She raised a brow.
“I think the way I want you right now—I might lose control, not be as patient as I need to be. And being your first time—it’s probably going to hurt a little, and you’re already hurting from that bullshit wax job, so we need to slow things down.”
“Remember, I was a college athlete. I have a pretty high suffering rate.” She waggled her brows.
“Tell me something else you want, and I’ll do it. And then I’m taking you to bed and I’m going to kiss every inch of your body until you cry out my name over and over.”
She sucked in a breath, and her teeth sunk into her juicy bottom lip. “Anything I want outside of sex?”
“Yep.”
She smiled. “There’s a huge tub in there. Take a bath with me. No sitting on the side lines. I want you naked in the water again, just like at the cove.” She chuckled.
I moved fast, startling her as I tossed her over my shoulder and slapped her ass. I jogged to the bathroom as she laughed hysterically. “I can do that. I mean, soaking in warm, dirty water is obviously sexy to you. So, I’ll give it a try.”
I set her on the bathroom counter and moved to the oversized bathtub and turned it on. Lila reached over to her makeup bag sitting beside the sink and pulled out a hair tie before gathering all her hair on top of her head and fastening it in place.
She chuckled. “The water is not dirty. And you in the tub is always sexy.”
“I want to see you naked.” I leaned against the wall beside the shower and crossed my arms over my chest.
Waiting.
“You’ve seen me naked.” Her tongue came out to glide along her lips.
“The first time it was dark. The second time I felt like some creeper checking you out after all you’d been through that night. So, now I want to take my time looking at you.”
Her breaths came faster, and a slight pink hue spread across her cheeks, beneath the little spackle of freckles. She hopped off the counter and walked over to me, turning around and giving me her back.
“Can you unzip me please?”
My fingers grazed down her silky skin as I moved the zipper down to her waist. She stepped away from me and turned around, her gaze locking with mine as her hands fell from her chest, and she let the dress drop into a puddle at her feet.
“Fuck,” I hissed, as I took her in.
Golden skin. Lean and sexy and slight curves in all the right places. My mouth watered, my eyes landing on her perfect tits, covered in black lace. She reached behind her and unsnapped her bra and then slowly let it slide down her shoulders before she tossed it on the floor beside her dress.
I now knew the definition for perfect tits.
These should be sculpted in gold.
A perfect handful. A perfect mouthful. Gorgeous pink nipples that were pebbled and dying to be tasted.
She watched me and then looked down. “They aren’t all that dazzling. They’re pretty small, right?”
“They’re the best tits I’ve ever seen, Snow. Don’t sell yourself short.”
She chuckled and reached for the band of her panties and slid them down her legs and then twirled for me, as if she were enjoying the way I was watching her.
“You’re beautiful,” I said, my voice gruff.
“You know you don’t have to say that. I’m kind of a sure thing.” She chuckled.
Did she really think I was just blowing smoke up her ass?
“And you’re not too bad yourself. So how about you strip down and let me peruse that body of yours.”
“No fucking problem.” I shoved my shirt off my shoulders, as the buttons were already undone. And my briefs followed. We stood there gawking at one another like two teenage kids who’d never seen the opposite sex naked.
I’d seen lots of women bare themselves for me over the years.
But nothing had compared to this.
Because none of them had been Lila.
I moved toward the tub as the water was dangerously close to the top, and I turned off the faucet. “I suppose I need to get in first, seeing as I’m the big one.”
“Yep.” She smiled and moved closer. I stepped in and yelped at the water temperature.
“You’re not getting out of this, Bear,” she teased. Once I was settled in the unusually hot water, she climbed in with ease and settled between my legs. Her head leaned back and fit perfectly in the nook of my neck.
My hand moved up and down her arm before trailing over to her breasts. I traced my fingers over each one like I’d been dying to do. Two hard peaks responded to my touch, and she sighed.
“Thanks for bringing me with you this weekend.” Her eyes closed, and I loved the feel of her body against mine.
“Thanks for coming with me.”
“Do you think you’ll ever get married?” she asked. “Have a family?”
“I don’t know. I’m not against it, but I’ve never felt the need to get serious with anyone.”
Never felt anything close to what I feel for you.
“I think you’d make someone a great husband, and you’d be a really good dad, Bear.” Her voice was soft and sleepy and sweet.
Normally, this conversation would have me running for the door. But it was different with Lila. We were sitting in a tub naked, yet having a conversation like this with her was completely natural.
“How about you?” I asked. I wanted to know what she wanted out of life. She’d always been so focused on school and running, and I had no idea what Lila’s dreams were.
“I honestly never thought about it much until now—being home again. I’ve been so determined these last few years to achieve certain things.
” My hands settled on her stomach, and her fingers rested on top of them.
“I think I’ve spent so much time trying to prove to everyone, but probably mostly to myself, that I could be successful in spite of my circumstances.
That’s one of the hard parts about living in a small town.
Everyone knows your story, and when it’s a sad one, there are a whole lot of judgments about you out there.
It’s easy to believe they’re right, you know? ”
“You’ve got nothing to prove,” I said, wrapping my arms a little tighter around her.
“I know that now. And I see your family, and your cousin’s family, and I actually love it.
I don’t think I ever used to believe that was something that I could have because I didn’t have it growing up.
After my mom was killed in that accident, our family was never the same.
But I would love to have a partner to grow old with and a bunch of little kids to raise and love on. ” She chuckled.
So honest and genuine.
“I think you can have anything you want, Snow.”
“Yeah. I know my brother wants me to have this big career and this grand life, like it will somehow make up for the things we went through. The things we lacked in a way,” she said, letting out a sigh.
“Sometimes, you just go through things. You lose people you love, and you experience hard times, but it’s what you do with that that counts.
You can either stay down, or you can get up and fight.
Sort of like the Rocky quotes your cousins were referencing tonight.
And I feel like Travis is stuck in this really angry place, and it’s time to get up and fight.
He’s going to have a child and be a father.
And he needs to let it go and start living his life. ”
“I think when you were in the hospital for those few weeks when you were sick, and then you and he got split up by social services for a while…” I said, clearing my throat because it was still hard to talk about.
“It did something to him. He decided you were his to protect from that day on. He shut down with your father, and he couldn’t forgive him because he loves you so damn much.
That’s what makes this so hard. Because I fucking know that, Lila. ”
“And I love him, too. But I don’t tell him who he can talk to or go out with.
I don’t tell him where he needs to live or what to do with his life.
He’s not my father. And I’ve allowed him to play that role because it’s always been me and him against the world, in a way.
But we’re not fighting anyone anymore. We’re both okay.
” She glanced over her shoulder and smiled, and her dark eyes welled with emotion.
“My father neglected us because he was drowning in grief and using his addiction to numb himself. And that’s what addiction does.
It robs you of your logic. He’s been addicted to painkillers and alcohol for so long that he doesn’t know how to exist without them anymore.
And Travis never lets him forget long enough to try to get clean.
If someone told you over and over that you didn’t deserve to breathe the same air as them, wouldn’t you want to numb yourself?
My father needs to deal with all that’s happened in the past and move forward, and my brother needs to let him do that. ”
I nodded. “How do you always see the good in people?”
“I don’t think you have to look that hard if you want to see it. I see the good in you, Hugh Reynolds. I always have.”
My fucking chest tightened at her words.
“Thank you. Give your brother time, okay? I’ll help you get your dad settled, and Travis can focus on the baby and Shay, and maybe if he sees that Tate is taking this seriously, he’ll get on board at some point.”
My best friend was a stubborn man. A good man, but a stubborn one.
Lila was right. The world was very black and white for Travis.
The few weeks they’d been separated when they were young had been brutal for him.
My parents had gone to bat for both of them, and tried to get temporary custody, but the system is flawed in a lot of ways, and the red tape and paperwork kept them apart for several weeks.
My father had helped Tate by hiring him at Burgers and Brews so that he could prove he was holding down a job and getting his life in order.
He’d agreed to be drug tested daily until social services returned both Travis and Lila to their home.
But Travis had never been the same. For a twelve-year-old kid, it had been traumatic, to say the least. He never forgave Tate, who continued his vicious battle with addiction.
Travis had always been one step ahead, not letting Lila get in the car with their father most of the time.
Making sure she ate well and was cared for.
My best friend had become a parent to his sister at a very young age.
“I will. I love him so much. You know that. I’m just done doing whatever he says, just because he thinks he’s right. I’m actually quite capable of taking care of myself.”
I nodded because Lila James had grown into a strong woman.
A capable woman.
And the most beautiful fucking woman I’d ever laid eyes on.
“You are.” I ran my thumb down her cheek.
“Okay, the water’s getting cold. Should we get out?” she asked.
“Yep.” I wasn’t in any hurry to get her naked body off of mine.
She climbed out and wrapped a towel around her and held one out to me as I stepped out of the water and drained the bathtub.
She moved to her suitcase and dug through it, pulling out her pajamas.
I raised a brow. “You aren’t going to need those. I told you I planned to kiss every inch of you until you fall asleep.”
And I was a man of my word.