Chapter 14
fourteen
. . .
Reese
“What do you think?” Maggie asked as we stood in front of my new office space, looking at the logo she’d just painted on the window.
“I love it. It’s perfect. Thank you so much.” I took a couple of pictures with my phone to send to Finn, and we both hurried inside as the wind began to pick up.
“It looks so good. This has to make it feel very official.” Maggie and I had grown up together, and she owned Buttons & Boots, one of my favorite boutiques just a few doors down. She was an artist at heart, and painting was her true passion.
“It does,” I said, reaching into my purse and handing her the envelope with the money inside. “I can’t thank you enough.”
“Pfft. I’m thrilled that you’re making your dream a reality. I knew that working at Barley’s Party Supplies was not your end game. I’m proud of you for taking the leap.”
I motioned for her to sit in the cute chair that I’d been storing in my parents’ garage. It was a white-and-pink floral armchair I’d had recovered shortly before I’d moved, when I thought I’d be moving in with Carl. I took the seat behind my desk.
“Yeah. I was ready for a change.”
“You’re not kidding. I mean, the job is a big change, but dating Finn…” She clapped her hands together, and the widest grin spread across her face. “I’d say you upgraded with both.”
The comment caught me off guard. Not that Finn wasn’t the greatest guy I knew, but I didn’t know that Maggie wasn’t a fan of Carl.
“Thank you. Yeah, I’m really happy. But Carl and I are still friends. I still care very deeply for him.”
She winced. “Oh, man. I didn’t mean to imply anything bad about him. I just, well, I always felt like he wanted you to be on board with his plan. It always seemed like it was his way or the highway. I don’t doubt that he loved you like crazy, as much as a man like Carl can.”
A man like Carl?
“What do you mean, ‘as much as a man like Carl can’?” I pressed, because I understood my family and Finn having an issue with Carl, but not someone who didn’t know all the details of what had gone down between us.
“I just mean that I think Carl thinks very highly of himself. His first love will always be—well, Carl.” She chuckled.
“But all those years of you and Finn hanging out all the time, it was never like that. You both always celebrated one another in every way. And I saw you do that with Carl, but I never saw him reciprocate that with you.”
My heart raced a bit at her words because I knew deep down there was some truth to them. Maybe that was why I’d decided to go to London.
Maybe I hadn’t been selfish at all.
Maybe I’d been trying to show him that I was just as important as he was.
It was true. It was Carl’s way or no way, and after a while, that had gotten old.
I’d lost myself and my identity while doing everything for him, his way.
There was more to this than I’d realized, and now, talking with Maggie, I was seeing things more clearly.
“Yeah, Finn is a natural at making everyone feel like they’re the most important person in the room.” I chuckled.
“He’s charming, that’s for sure. But he’s never looked at anyone the way he looks at you. I’d always thought he was in love with you. I’m just glad he finally realized it.”
I sucked in a breath.
What was she talking about?
I mean, he was a damn good actor. But we hadn’t been pretending before now.
“I don’t know about that. This is new for us. We realized our feelings during our time apart.”
She raised a brow. “Maybe you did. But I think his were there long before yours were.”
I’m guessing she was confusing friendship with romantic feelings. Because I never doubted that he loved me for a minute—but not in a romantic way. Finn had the attention span of a toddler when it came to women.
Everyone knew that.
He wasn’t a womanizer like Jessica made him out to be. The man would never lie or risk hurting someone. He was honest about who he was. We’d talked about it dozens of times.
In fact, the only time he’d ever lied in all the years that I’d known him was right now. Because I’d asked him to.
And he’d lied for me.
I remember a time when we were in college when Sarah Hamlin wanted to date him, and he felt horrible that he didn’t feel the same. He’d tried to force it, but it just didn’t work. She wanted to be angry with him, but he’d told her the truth. He’d tried, and it just wasn’t there.
Finn had always believed what his father had told him about meeting Alana, Finn’s mom.
That when it happened, he’d know it.
But it just hadn’t happened.
And he was fine with it because he’d been so focused on his career, and when he wasn’t working, he liked to have a good time.
There was no shame in knowing what you want.
“Well, I don’t know about that. Tell me what’s going on at the shop,” I said, trying to change the subject.
I was lying to so many people I cared about, and it didn’t sit well with me. What was everyone going to think when all of this came to an end?
“Business is great, and things always get crazy busy heading into the holidays. Guess who came in yesterday?”
“Who?”
“Christy Rae Lovell.” She rolled her eyes dramatically. “It seems she’s not too happy about Carl hiring you to design his new office.”
Ahhh… trouble in paradise.
“Really? It’s not like they live together. He and I are still friends. He’s just trying to help me out with the new business.”
“I don’t know. She was talking to Sally Cauldon, and I was just doing what small-town locals do best,” she said with a wink. “Eavesdropping like my life depended on it.”
My head fell back in laughter. “Well, I would expect nothing less here in Cottonwood Cove.”
“Yeah. It sounds like they get down and dirty at the hospital, though. She was telling Sally that she pulled him into a storage closet, and they went at it in there between seeing patients. Doesn’t that feel a little, I don’t know…
dirty? For a doctor and a nurse to be banging between seeing sick people? ”
My chest squeezed, and I made a conscious effort to keep my face even. “I don’t know. I mean, that stuff happens on Grey’s Anatomy, right?”
“True. But that’s with McDreamy and McSteamy.
This is… Carl. If Finn were a doctor, I’d think it was perfectly fine.
He’s got that swagger. You two must be having a lot of fun.
” She shook her head. “The cowboy boots and the backward hat, and don’t even get me started on those abs he showed off in the finale of Big Sky Ranch.
Ugh. I’m totally fangirling over your man.
You know I’m very happy with Brex. I just got a little off track. ”
We both laughed.
“Hey, I get it. You won’t get an argument here.
And he’s all mine.” I fanned my face because my best friend was hot, and I totally understood why everyone gawked at the man.
And he’d shared that his lack of sex was making him very horny around me.
I’d ignored it, and obviously, we hadn’t acted on anything, but I couldn’t get what he’d said out of my mind.
“You lucky biotch.” She chuckled. “So, what will happen when he goes back to filming? He’ll be gone for months at a time, right?”
Yes. We’d stage an amicable breakup. Long distance wasn’t easy for anyone, but with him being a famous actor, it would be impossible to maintain at that point.
So, I had until after the holidays to get things back on track with Carl.
“We’ll just do whatever it takes to stay together,” I said with the confidence of someone in love.
“Good. I like seeing you happy. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you smile like this. It looks good on you.” She pushed to her feet.
Hadn’t I always been happy?
My light had probably been dulled by doing a job I didn’t feel inspired by. I was sure a lot of what she was seeing now was that I had opened my own business. I was doing what I loved.
I started my days riding Millie and ended my days racing Finn down to the beach before the sunset.
That was hard to beat.
“Thank you. I’ll be coming by later this week to look for a dress for Finn’s work party this weekend.”
“Perfect timing. We just got all new inventory. The cutest dresses you’ve ever seen.
And we got a bunch of lingerie in, too. You’ll have to get a little something-something for after the party, too.
” She waggled her brows, and I chuckled.
“And we’re still on for happy hour with the girls tomorrow night? ”
“I think I’ll have to take you up on that lingerie, and we are absolutely on for tomorrow night.” We were going with a few high school friends to Reynolds’ for happy hour. I hugged her goodbye and gathered up my iPad and my sketch pad to head to Carl’s for our design meeting.
I wasn’t in the best frame of mind after hearing about him going at it with his girlfriend in a closet at the hospital. I couldn’t get the man to make out on the beach when we’d been alone, and now he was having sex in public places?
I drove the short distance to his house, and when I walked up the walkway, I glanced over at the plants that he and I had put in together when he’d bought the house.
The home I’d planned to live in, as well.
I reached for the doorbell, but the door flew open before I pressed it.
“Hey, thanks for coming.” He stepped aside so I could walk in. He wore a navy sweater and a pair of dark jeans. Even casual, the man looked polished and put together.
“Of course. Thanks for hiring me,” I said, sounding overly peppy, which was not how I felt.
“You okay?” He paused and gave me a hug, holding me there a little longer than he should.
“Yeah, of course,” I said, pulling back. I searched his gaze, wondering if I even knew this man. The things Maggie had said, outside of his wild sex life with his girlfriend, were running through my mind.
Did he ever celebrate me?
“I’m so proud of you, Reese. You found a space, and you’re making it happen. I think it’s amazing.”
“Yeah? Thank you. It means a lot to me.” I followed him to the office. Maybe he was going to prove everyone wrong. Maybe things would be different between us after spending so much time apart.
When he pushed the doors open, I smiled, because it was a clean slate. The walls were white. The floors were covered in a gorgeous natural wood that ran through the whole house. There wasn’t a stitch of furniture or anything hanging on the walls.
“I’m giving you free rein. Work your magic,” he said, shoving his hands into his pockets as his eyes locked with mine.
“Really? You’re not going to give me any direction?” My voice was all tease because Carl was a control freak. He had strong opinions, and he’d never been able to hide them.
“Nope. You just spent a year in London working under a famous designer. I’m sure you know what you’re doing.”
Maybe he really was changing.
“What about Christy? She doesn’t want to have any input?” I asked, raising a brow as I waited for an answer.
“Christy doesn’t live here. I’m sure she’d like to have input, but the only one I’m trusting is you.”
My heart squeezed at his words. Maybe he was finally seeing me. Really seeing me. Hell, I was capable of doing a lot more than I’d realized.
“Well, thank you for that. I’m going to have a lot of fun designing this room. So, let’s just talk about budget, and I’ll show you a few inspiration photos I have and get an idea of things you like and don’t like, and then I’ll work my magic.”
“Sounds like a plan.” We moved to the dining room and sat in the chairs beside one another as I pulled up the photos on my iPad.
Carl moved his chair closer so we could both see the screen. His pinky finger brushed against mine before his hand covered mine. I sucked in a breath, but I didn’t move.
“Carl,” I whispered. I mean, I wasn’t in a real relationship, but he was.
“I miss you, Reese.”
I nodded, and then I thought of Finn. Real or fake, I’d never disrespect him. I still wanted the life I’d always imagined with Carl, but I wasn’t going to act on anything while we were both actively dating other people. I pulled my hand away and turned to look at him.
“Not sure how Christy would feel about that, but I know Finn wouldn’t like it.” I licked my lips because my mouth had gone dry as my adrenaline started pumping.
It wasn’t attraction or a physical pull that I felt toward this man. It was adrenaline. I was pissed. Why was I keeping that to myself?
Here he was, telling me that he missed me, and I knew what he’d been up to.
“I can’t stop thinking about you.”
“Really? Were you thinking about me when you were fucking Christy in a closet at the hospital?”
His eyes widened, and his face paled. “How do you know about that?”
“It’s a small town, Carl.” I turned back toward the photos and moved my chair away from him just a few inches. “If you aren’t able to work with me, please say so now.”
“Of course, I can work with you. I’m sorry.” He turned so he was facing me. “I don’t know what’s going on with me right now, Reese. I’m just kind of lost.”
My heart ached at his words. I’d loved this man since we were teenagers. I didn’t want to see him hurting, even when he’d hurt me badly.
Even when I’d felt lost, and he hadn’t been there for me in any way.
Why was that okay with me?
“Well, I suggest you take some time to figure it out. I’m always going to be your friend, and I’m here for you. But as long as you’re with Christy and I’m with Finn, that’s all I can be to you.”
He nodded. “I get it. I’m sorry. And the truth is, I could use a friend right now. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.”
I nodded. I couldn’t say the same back to him because that would be a lie.
“I’m here for you.”
“Thank you. Now, show me what you have in mind for my office.”
We got back to work, and we spent the next few hours talking about his office, life, and just hanging out.
For the first time since I’d left for London, I didn’t feel that horrible distance between Carl and me.
But the closeness didn’t feel the way that it should feel either.
I was ready to leave, so I packed up my stuff.
Finn had texted me and said that he’d prepared a picnic for us so we could take the horses down to the water and have dinner out there.
And I couldn’t wait to get home.
To see Finn.
And that thought alone terrified me.