Chapter 16
sixteen
. . .
Reese
Seeing Finn with Lacey had stirred something inside me that I hadn’t felt before. Something foreign.
Sure, I hated the idea of Carl and Christy Rae Lovell. It made me physically ill, but it was different. It hurt because I felt like he’d replaced me.
Like my dream of a family and the future I’d imagined were gone, as well.
But seeing Lacey with Finn had been next level.
It was almost a feral response.
Like I wanted to storm across the room and make sure she knew that he was mine.
But he wasn’t mine. None of this was real.
I didn’t know what was happening to me. Hearing about Carl in the closet at the hospital with his girlfriend had stung. Angered me even. Because for all those years, I’d tried to get us to have a little more fun, and he’d shut me down, and then he’d experienced them with someone else.
But it wasn’t Carl I was thinking about when I closed my eyes at night.
Was I a glutton for punishment?
Fantasizing about my best friend. Knowing that it could never go anywhere.
When I came out of the bathroom, he was unbuttoning his dress shirt, and he turned to look at me, his abs and chest on full display.
Golden and sun-kissed and so freaking sexy.
I stood there gaping before pulling myself out of my daze and walking toward the bed. I did a dramatic stretch with my arms and yawned.
“I’m exhausted. I think I’m going to get some sleep.”
“Yeah, me, too.” He pushed his shirt off his shoulders and tossed it on the chair in the corner before tugging off his dress pants.
I couldn’t keep my gaze from watching as he walked toward the bathroom wearing nothing but his black boxer briefs.
I mean, it would be abnormal for me not to notice.
Inhuman, even.
The man could actually pose for an underwear ad, so how could I not look?
I heard him chuckle as he disappeared into the bathroom and the sink turned on and off. I climbed into bed and pulled the covers over me.
You’re just lonely. It’s been so long since anyone has touched you. This is perfectly normal to feel these things. It doesn’t mean anything.
I could feel him moving through the bedroom, and I heard the click of the lights turning off. The room was dark, and I squeezed my eyes closed because I was fighting the urge to act on my desire.
Something we’d always agreed we’d never do.
The weight of his body had the bed moving as he slid in beside me. His warm breath tickled my cheek from his nearness. He radiated warmth, and I wanted to wrap myself around him.
“You fake sleeping, Miney?” His voice was deep and low, and there was humor there.
“Well, we’re fake dating, so it only seems natural.” I chuckled.
His thumbs moved to my eyelids, and he forced them open, which made me laugh harder.
“Why are you hiding?”
“I’m not hiding,” I whispered. The light from the moon coming through the windows overlooking the city created a halo around his handsome face.
God, he was a beautiful man.
It was only right that he would never settle down. It wouldn’t be fair if only one woman got to enjoy this man for the rest of her life.
I was lucky enough to be the woman he called his best friend. So, in a way, Finn did belong to me. But not entirely. He’d never fully give himself to anyone.
He knew he’d tire of them, and he would never want to disappoint anyone. That was the kind of man he was.
“Tell me what’s going on. Why were you jealous tonight?”
“I don’t know, Chewy. I guess the lines are blurring a bit for me.
” My tongue swiped out to lick my lips, as my mouth was dry because having him so close to me was torture.
“Not in the way you’re thinking, so don’t panic.
I know what we are. I guess I just felt possessive because we’re putting on a show and all. ”
“Yeah? You sure that’s what it was?”
“What else could it be?” I asked. His fingers had moved down to my jaw, and he stroked each side in the most soothing rhythm.
“It’s okay to admit you’re attracted to me. I admitted it to you.”
“Fine. I’m attracted to you. I mean, I think every woman with a pulse is attracted to you.”
“So, what do you want to do about it?” His leg brushed against mine as we closed what little distance we had between us so our bodies were flush together.
“Well, admitting it and acting on it are two very different things. We made a pact years ago, and I think we should honor that.”
“What is it that you’re afraid of?” he asked, but he moved his thumb to press gently against my lips, holding it there for a moment so I wouldn’t answer just yet.
“I already love you, and you already love me, so that’s not going to change.
We aren’t strangers who might realize they love one another after crossing the line.
We already do. So, we’d just be giving in to something that we both want. At least I know I do.”
God, I wanted it, too.
“What if it ruins everything? We have a little fun, and then you leave for Tokyo after the holidays, and we stage a fake breakup, and Carl and I get engaged again—it’s going to be weird between us.
And I would never want to do anything to hurt what we have, because it’s everything to me.
” My voice broke, and a tear slipped down my face.
I was in some sort of horndog hell. I’d never wanted anyone so badly, and I knew in my gut that it would end up destroying us.
I could survive in a world where Carl rejected me. I’d already proven that. And yes, in the end, it would hurt like hell, but I’d move on and find someone else who wanted what I wanted.
But I couldn’t survive in a world where Finn and I weren’t best friends. It would be dark and cold and lonely. And there would be no way to find another Finn Reynolds.
The loss would be too much for me.
“Reese,” he whispered, his forehead resting against mine as he wrapped his arm around me.
Our legs were tangled together. His erection was weighing heavy against my lower belly, and desire pooled between my legs.
“You will never lose me. There is no world in which I could exist that didn’t have you in it.
I know that you want to be with Carl. There are no secrets here.
But you’re single, and I’m single, and all I want to do tonight is make you feel good.
You deserve to feel good. And I want you so fucking much I can’t see straight.
We both know what this is. We’re living together, and the whole world thinks we’re together. So why not enjoy it?”
My fingers moved up the back of his neck, running through his hair. “You make a good argument. Carl thinks we’re having sex anyway, and God knows he’s having plenty of it. Maybe you could teach me a thing or two.” A nervous chuckle escaped my lips.
My God, was I actually considering this?
“Listen, I don’t want to do anything you don’t want to do.
But if you want me to make you feel good.
If you want me to show you all that you’re missing.
If you want me to make you come so many times you won’t be able to see straight, all you have to do is ask.
I’m not in the dark about how this ends, so stop worrying.
There is nothing that could come between you and me. ”
Oh my God.
My breaths were coming hard and fast now, and my hips started grinding up against his erection.
We were too close.
This was too much.
“Make me feel good, Finn,” I whispered.
His mouth covered mine. His hand was on my neck, tipping my head back so he could get better access. My lips parted, inviting him in. His tongue slipped inside, tangling with mine. We’d kissed for show before, but this was different.
Needy and desperate.
My hands clawed at his shoulders as he groaned into my mouth. He rocked himself against me as he settled between my thighs before he rolled me completely onto my back and propped himself above me. No weight from his body, just the feel of his desire throbbing against my core.
He pulled back to look at me. His hand stroked the hair away from my face, his eyes wild with desire. “Is it too much?”
I shook my head, a husky chuckle escaping my lips. “It’s not too much. I want more.”
Did I really just say that?
“Good. You need to tell me what you want, Reese. That’s the only way this happens.”
Jesus. He was so sexy and commanding. This was a side of Finn that I hadn’t experienced. How was that possible?
“Okay,” I said, my chest rising and falling rapidly.
Desire overpowered all rational thought.
“Tell me what you want.” His thumb stroked along my bottom lip.
“What are my choices?”
This sexy, deep chuckle escaped his lips. “I can kiss you some more. Make my way down every inch of your body. Spread your legs wide and taste you. Show you what you’ve been missing.”
“Yes, to all of that,” I said, a little too eagerly. “And sex. You didn’t mention the sex.”
“Not tonight. Tonight, we’re going to take our time. There’s no rush. You’re mine for the next two months, and I plan to make every day count.”
I nodded slowly because all ability to speak had left me.
His tongue moved along my bottom lip before he kissed me again. Slowly, this time. Tasting and exploring my mouth like he was memorizing every side. Every angle. I’d never been kissed like this. Like nothing else mattered in the world.
And at this moment, it didn’t.
We kissed for what felt like hours, but in reality, it was probably twenty minutes. My body was buzzing, hips moving up and down against him, desperate to relieve the ache there.
Finn pulled back, looking at me with the sexiest smile I’d ever seen.
His gray eyes blazed, and his lips turned up in the corners as he watched me.
He pushed up, tugging me to sit forward, and raised my arms over my head.
He pulled my tank top off and tossed it on the floor.
Then he carefully tipped me back and slipped my pajama shorts down my legs, like he was unwrapping a present he’d been waiting for his entire life.
His eyes scanned my body as if I were the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.
Goose bumps spread across my skin. No one had ever looked at me like this before.
He pushed to his feet, looking down at me with just my pink thong, the last remaining piece of fabric on my body. My cheeks burned as he stared at me, leaving me feeling more vulnerable than I’d ever felt in my life. I squeezed my eyes closed, desperately trying to gather myself.
This was Finn.
I was baring myself for the boy I’d known my entire life.
“Reese.” His deep voice vibrated through my body like a current. “Open your eyes.”
I used my hand to cover my eyes before I slowly opened my lids and peeked through my fingers.
He took my hands and moved them beside me.
“No. There’s no hiding here. I think you’ve done enough of that, don’t you?”
I didn’t think I’d been hiding before now, because no one had ever stripped me down like this and taken their time to savor the moment.
“I haven’t been hiding. I’m just not used to doing—this.” I shrugged.
“This? Me looking at you like you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen? Neither have I, Reese. This is just for you.”
“Okay,” I whispered, and his fingers moved to my breasts, gently tracing a circle around each one with the tips of his fingers. I was certain my nipples could cut glass right now because they were achingly hard.
“I want you to watch so you can see what I see.” He hovered over me, and he sucked in a breath as he stared at my breasts.
“These tits are what dreams are made of, Reese.” His voice was husky as he leaned down and flicked his tongue across my nipple, and a shuddering breath escaped.
He lapped around the outside of my hard peak, teasing and licking, before he moved to the other breast, giving them equal attention.
I could barely contain myself. My back arched off the bed, and my legs squirmed, searching for something to press against, but he kept himself propped above me, remaining just out of reach.
He chuckled against my skin, and his teeth grazed along my nipple.
“Finn,” I groaned as my hips jerked up, trying to reach him.
“You’re not going to come just yet, so stop trying.”
“Why?” I hissed, reaching around to grab his ass as I tried to tug him down toward me.
He pulled back and looked at me. “Because the first time you come tonight will be on my lips.”
Oh. Okay, then. I could live with that.
Well, if I didn’t die from desperation first.