Chapter 11 #2
“You still want to go?”
“We’re here, right?” he asked as he ate a few handfuls of chips.
“Yeah. We’re here.”
“I hope you won’t be missing any important appointments tomorrow. You’ll be able to reschedule them?” I sat back down beside him.
“It’s not a problem. Mr. Wigglestein is scheduled to be neutered in the morning so that everyone in Cottonwood Cove can sleep better. But one more day won’t matter. Although Mrs. Remington is so hell-bent against doing it, she’ll probably take this as a sign.”
My head fell back in laughter. “I heard about this scandal. He’s impregnated quite a few ladies, right?”
“He sure has. She lets him run all over the place, humping everyone in sight. But the women have spoken, and they’ve had enough.” He smirked, and damn, the man was sexy.
“Hey, it’s a bitch’s world. Let them reign. I should offer my legal assistance to the female dogs in town if she doesn’t go through with it.”
“Trust me. If she doesn’t go through with it, I’ll hire you myself.”
He pushed to his feet and brushed off his hands before rolling up the bag of chips and setting it on the dresser.
There was no TV in the room, and I cleared off the wrappers from the bed while Cage closed the curtains.
“I can sleep on the floor,” he said, reaching for a pillow.
“Don’t be ridiculous. We’ve been through hell tonight. I think we’re mature enough to share a bed, right? Plus, it’s freezing in here. I’m counting on your body heat to keep me from getting pneumonia.” I tried to make a joke, but I was just as nervous as he was about sharing a bed.
And this was not a big bed. This was a poor excuse for a full-sized bed.
I moved to the bathroom to wash my hands, and I brushed my teeth with my finger and some water.
Cage was already beneath the ugly comforter when I stepped out, his back resting against the dingy headboard, and I walked across the room and flipped off the light.
I tiptoed to the other side of the bed and slipped beneath the scratchy covers.
I rubbed my hands together and covered my mouth as I blew a few breaths in an attempt to provide some heat.
“You cold?” he asked.
“It’s okay. I’m always cold. I’ll warm up soon.”
Before I knew what was happening, he pulled me closer to him, his chest to mine, as my head settled beneath his chin.
The man radiated heat and smelled like mint and Hot Tamales, which someone should bottle up and sell because it was my new favorite scent.
I closed my eyes as I listened to the sound of his heartbeat.
“I’m sorry I’ve been hot and cold with you, Pres,” he said, his deep voice breaking the silence.
I’d figured he was done talking for the night.
“It’s okay. You don’t owe me an explanation.”
“Well, I think the big guy already outed me.” He chuckled. “I was… a little uncomfortable when you had your hand on my back. It’s been a while for me, so sometimes that just happens.”
I processed his words, and I tried to steady my voice.
“It’s been a while for me, too, so I get it.”
We lay there in silence again, but now I could hear the sound of my heartbeat right along with his. It was pounding in my ears.
“How long has it been for you?” he asked, catching me by surprise. I didn’t think he’d go there.
“I can’t remember, honestly. More than a year. How about you?”
More silence.
“Maybe eight months. I’m busy with work and Gracie, so that’s sort of my last priority at the moment.”
His fingers grazed along the back of my neck in the most soothing way. Every inch of my body was touching his.
“That has to be hard,” I whispered. “No pun intended.”
His body shook, and I knew he was trying to keep from laughing.
“Sure.”
“I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable.”
“Don’t worry about me. I have my ways of relieving myself,” he said, his tone light and flirty.
Oh. My. God.
“I guess we have something in common, then.” I knew I was playing with fire, but I was so painfully attracted to this man I could barely stand it.
He pressed his hips forward, letting me feel just how much he wanted me. “Here’s some motivation for you next time you’re alone.”
My breaths were coming faster now, and I made a conscious effort to keep it under control, but it was a challenge.
“You’ve always provided all the motivation that I need, if I’m being honest.” He’d been who I saw every single time I fantasized about a man. I wasn’t proud that it was always Cage that I thought of.
His breaths halted, and his hand found my chin, and he tipped it back so my gaze would meet his. There was just a bit of moonlight coming in through the opening of the curtains, forming a halo of light around his handsome face.
“So have you. I still think about you, you know.”
“Me, too.” A single tear rolled down my cheek, and he swiped it away with the pad of his thumb. “But you seem determined to keep this distance between us.”
“I can’t go there with you. Not again. Not when we both know that you’re leaving soon.
And it’s not because I don’t want you. Fuck, Presley.
I want you so fucking bad I can’t see straight.
But I can’t do halfway with you. We tried that once before, and look at the mess we made.
Losing you once wrecked me. Losing you twice would be the end of me. I’ve got Gracie to think about now.”
His words weighed heavy on my chest. Losing him had wrecked me, too. In the worst way. I’d been destructive and spent the years after I’d lost him making things worse. And now I was picking up the pieces and trying to put my life back together.
He was right. We lived on opposite sides of the country. This couldn’t go anywhere. We’d be playing with fire if we crossed the line.
Temporary had never worked for us.
We’d always been all or nothing.
“I get it. And my life is a mess right now. It would be a mistake to act on anything.”
“So, we agree. No crossing the line. But we can be friends, and that’s better than nothing.”
“Look at us. We finally agree on something besides horses and country music.”
“Horses, country music, and friendship. It’s a start. Even if your favorite candy sucks.”
I chuckled, but my body was burning at the moment, so I was doing all that I could not to press harder against him. His erection rested on my lower belly, and I squeezed my eyes shut, willing myself to go to sleep. His breathing slowed, but his arms tightened around me.
And even in this dingy, cold room, I felt more comfortable in my own skin than I’d felt in years.
“Can I ask you something?” I whispered.
“Yes.”
“What did Gracie mean about me being in your heart with her? It sounded like it was written somewhere?”
He was quiet for the longest time. “Kids just say things, and half the time, they don’t make sense. I don’t know what she was talking about.”
I shouldn’t have been disappointed. I’d figured as much. But for whatever reason, I liked the idea of him being forever marked by me.
“I thought so.”
“What’s that little bird tattoo on your wrist about?” he asked.
“It’s a raven. I did that right before my wedding so I wouldn’t completely lose myself. So I’d remember who I was. The way that you saw me, soaring and flying and free. Which had always been the best version of myself.”
“That had nothing to do with me and everything to do with you.”
I closed my eyes and remembered a time when I thought I’d spend the rest of my life right here. With this man.
“Cage?”
“Yeah.”
“I missed you.”
“Missed you, too, Raven.”
My chest squeezed as he whispered my nickname, and I nuzzled closer.
It might not be forever, but at least we had right now.
And at the moment, that was enough.