Chapter 13
Thirteen
“Jack?”
Her voice cut through him like a switchblade. He’d just come in from a midmorning ride with Sam and had sent his son to find Luisa. Taking care of the horses soothed his mind, so he let Sam off the hook this once and decided to curry both horses himself. He’d just finished cleaning the last hoof when her voice sliced into him.
He didn’t turn.
“What do you want?”
“I need to talk to you.”
“Not interested.”
Such a lie. He was so interested that his heart was thundering against his sternum just at the damn sound of her voice. Why had this happened? Why had he fallen in love? Why had he brought her here and introduced her to Sam?
Sam deserved better.
“I’m so sorry…”
Her words trailed off, and he still didn’t turn. If he looked at her, he’d be lost.
Her breathy sigh caressed the back of his neck. She was that close. Don’t turn around, Jack .
“I didn’t think you’d get this hurt.”
Damn. Those were fighting words. He turned around, and the moistness in her emerald eyes tugged at him. But he hardened his heart.
“Not get hurt? What did you think I invited you here for, Holly? Sex? A prolonged weekend of hedonism? Hell, I didn’t need to bring you to my home, introduce you to my son, for that.”
“No, I—”
“Please go away.”
“I can’t, Jack. Not until you hear me out. I behaved stupidly. I know that. But there are reasons. And I—”
He let out a sigh and rolled his eyes. “Yes, I know. You’re forty. You’ve made it abundantly clear how you feel about our age difference. And I thought I’d made it abundantly clear that I don’t give a rat’s ass, but you can’t seem to get past that.”
“You don’t understand. There’s more.”
“Nothing I’m interested in.” He steeled his heart against her misty green gaze.
“You’ve got to listen to me.”
“I don’t have to do anything. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to take care of my animals.”
He turned, but she grabbed his arm. A sizzling current traveled to his groin at her touch. She flung her arms around him, grabbed his cheeks, and drew his lips to hers.
His memories soared to their first kiss in the elevator. She nibbled at his lower lip and then his upper, her tongue probing for entrance.
He granted it. Hell, he was still a man—a man in love with a woman. His body couldn’t help but respond to her physical presence.
He parted his lips, and when her tongue touched his, he melted and his resolve disintegrated.
She tasted of vanilla cream and still a touch of lime. He devoured her mouth. His mind clouded, and energy—hot, raw, and primal—crackled between them.
He gripped her ass, squeezing, kneading, and forced her against the hardness beneath his jeans. Her tiny moans hummed against the back of his throat and he probed farther, deeper, until he was lost in the passion that had sizzled between them since their first meeting.
Then, from somewhere in a different dimension, a small voice broke through the haze.
“Holly! You came back!”
Jack ripped his mouth from Holly’s to stare at Sam. Holly wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and turned.
“Why, hi there, Sam.”
“You missed our ride yesterday.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m sure sorry about that. Maybe we can go this afternoon.”
“Holly, stop,” Jack said. He would not allow her to get Sam’s hopes up again. He took a deep breath and willed his nerves to settle. Sam was the most important consideration. His only consideration.
Holly gazed up at him, her lips swollen and scarlet. Damn, she was beautiful. He wanted to grab her again and kiss her until he elicited a promise from her that she’d never leave them.
But he’d be strong.
“Run along, Sam. Holly and I need to talk about grown-up things.”
“What kinds of things are those?”
“When you’re older, I’ll explain it. Go on now. Luisa should have lunch ready soon.”
“But that’s why I came out here, Daddy. Lunch is on the table.”
“Tell Luisa I’ll be a little late. You go on and eat.”
“Okay.” Sam trotted off. The kid never walked. He always trotted or ran.
Jack smiled.
“Jack…”
“What?”
“Maybe you should eat first, and then we’ll talk.”
“Not a chance. You tell me what you came to tell me. And no more kissin’ until it’s all out in the open.”
“So you’re ready to listen now?”
He nodded. That kiss had told him what he already knew. He wasn’t ready to give her up. Not by a long shot. So he’d listen. But he’d listen from a distance. He picked up the curry comb and got back to his horse.
“You stay there,” he said, “and start talkin’.”
“This isn’t easy for me.”
“It isn’t for me, either. Last night sucked, Holly. If you think you’re the only one hurtin’ here, think again.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Quit apologizin’ and explain yourself. I’m agein’ here.”
She let out a heavy sigh. He focused on the horse’s shiny coat.
“It is the age thing, but there’s more to it than you know.” She cleared her throat. “That first night we met, I told you I was in a bad place.”
“I know. We’ve all been in bad places, Holly.”
“This was a particularly bad one, Jack. I’d just been diagnosed with cancer.”
Oh, God. His heart dropped to his stomach. He tossed the currycomb to the ground and hurried toward her. “Sugar, are you all right?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” She swiped her hand across her nose and sniffed. “Sort of.”
“What do you mean, sort of? Sugar, please, tell me you’re okay.”
“I am. I mean, my life’s not in danger or anything.”
“Come sit with me.” He led her out of the stable and onto a patch of soft grass. He sat down and drew her into his lap. His heart ached.
“Tell me.”
“It was cervical cancer, Jack. I-I always had my pap smears, which was lucky. They caught it real early. But it was an aggressive strain. So they treated it aggressively.”
“Oh.” His heart sank. He already knew where this was going.
“They took my uterus. Plus one ovary. Just left me one for hormones. I’m pretty much cleaned out.”
“God.”
“I had to give up my dream of being a mom. I thought I’d come to terms with it. Until you came back into my life.”
He swallowed and kissed the top of her head. He’d thought about having a child with her. Sure, she was older, but not too old. Now that wouldn’t happen.
Did it matter? Sam wanted a brother. He knew that. He sure loved kids and always thought he’d have more eventually, once the right woman came along.
That the right woman might not be able to give him children hadn’t occurred to him.
She rested her head against his shoulder and he inhaled the apple-fresh scent of her hair.
“Sugar?”
“Hmm?” Her voice was muffled.
“I never saw a scar.”
She lifted her head. “They used a laparoscope. The scar’s hidden in my belly button. It’s a lot less invasive. I was able to recover a lot quicker.”
“Oh.” So she had recovered quickly. Physically. He had a hunch she wasn’t completely recovered emotionally.
She’d had to give up her dream of children. Could he give up his dream of a child with her?
Before he could formulate an answer to his own question, a scream rent through the air.
Sam!
He stood quickly, his heart hammering, steadying Holly so she didn’t fall.
“That’s Sam,” he said. “Sam! Sam!”
The scream had been loud. He was close by. Jack ran around the stable. Nothing. Across a small field stood the main barn. On the ground, next to a stack of hay bales, lay his son.
He wasn’t moving.
“No! Sam! Sam!”
He raced across the field, tears forming in his eyes. Not Sam. Not Sam.
He knelt over the unmoving body of his son. Had he fallen? Jack looked up. He’d tumbled from the roof of the barn. What the hell had he been doing? He was supposed to go in for lunch.
“Jack.” Holly knelt beside him. “What happened?”
“I don’t know. He fell, I think.” His voice sounded peculiar, like it had come from somewhere else. Thoughts couldn’t form. He reached under his little boy’s body and gently cradled him to his chest.
“Jack, you shouldn’t move him. He might be…injured inside.”
Jack knew. But he couldn’t think. He had to hold his son. He pressed his fingers to his neck. His pulse was steady and strong, thank God.
“I’ll call 9-1-1.”
“No. No. That’ll take too long. I’ll drive him to the hospital.”
“Jack, be sensible…”
“Damn it, Holly! This is my child! I need to take care of him!”
“I understand.” Holly nodded. “I’ll drive you.”