Chapter 53
Thea put on a brave face through dinner, fibbing that Nick had received a call from his parents and had needed to rush off to their place, but she got the feeling that neither child was convinced.
‘Can you text him and ask him to check if he’s got any more Pokémon cards?’ Dylan asked as the children tucked into Thea’s casserole with considerably more gusto than she did.
‘Yeah, sure,’ Thea replied, although Pokémon cards were the last thing she wanted to contact Nick about. As soon as he’d left, she’d started kicking herself, and although she was trying to project a calm exterior for the sake of her son and daughter, inside, she was churning.
Cora jumped up from the table and started to clear away the dishes. ‘Come on, Dyl, give us a hand,’ she said. She locked eyes with Thea. ‘Maybe you could call Nick and, er, remind him about those cards while we do the washing up?’
Thea shook her head. ‘He’s probably busy.’
‘Ohhhhkaaaay…’ Cora looked sceptical. ‘Well, go and sit down, anyway, and I’ll make you a cup of tea.’
‘Thanks, love,’ Thea replied. She settled down on the sofa, and listened to her children’s friendly bickering about who should do what in the kitchen and tried to put the quarrel with Nick out of her mind.
She’d been right to point out that it had all been a bit rushed.
They’d fallen into bed together after their first official date, for goodness’ sake!
Who on earth did that? The little voice that told her she’d known Nick for a lifetime was resolutely ignored.
She’d been lonely, as had he. They’d enjoyed themselves over Christmas, but now the festive season was nearly over, it was time to get real.
This was her life. This was her house. And in the kitchen, those were her beloved children.
She didn’t need anyone else, and she didn’t want anyone else.
She’d coped for years after Ed had left, and she’d got quite good at it.
Why should she sacrifice her independence for a pair of loving arms, a friendly ear and absolutely dynamite sex?
But this was Nick. And, much as she hated to admit it, she knew he loved her.
And much as she wouldn’t admit it to herself, she loved him.
Set in her ways she might be, but she couldn’t ignore those two facts.
Had she just blown him out because she was afraid to take a risk?
Had the renewed contact with Ed put her even more on her guard?
If so, was that really fair to Nick, who’d been nothing but patient, kind and steadfast, not just recently but for all of the years she’d known him?
‘Oh, for fuck’s sake!’ she exclaimed.
‘You OK, Mum?’ Cora was standing in the doorway of the living room, looking curiously at her mother.
Thea smiled. ‘You know what? I think I just might be. Do you think you’d be all right to keep an eye on your brother if I pop out for a bit? There’s something I need to do.’
Cora grinned. ‘I think we’ll cope.’ She handed Thea her cup of tea. ‘Do you want this before you go?’
Thea took a sip – Cora always knew how to make a decent cuppa.
‘That’s just the thing I needed.’ She looked at her daughter, and smiled at Dylan as he, too re-entered the living room.
She reached out an arm to her daughter, who snuggled up to her briefly, and the other to her son.
‘I know it’s all been a bit weird, lately, but I promise you, things are going to be fine.
We’ll make it work, darlings, I promise. ’
‘And what about you and Nick?’ Cora asked, her voice slightly muffled from the cuddle. ‘Are you going to make it work with him?’
‘That depends,’ Thea said carefully. ‘Are you sure you two are OK with it, if we do?’
‘Only if he finds more Pokémon cards!’ Dylan quipped, a cheeky gleam in his eye.
‘I’ll make sure he knows that.’ Thea grinned at her son.
She held her son and daughter close, and they were eventually joined by Lupin, who could never resist a warm cuddle.
They were the most important people in her life, and they always would be, but perhaps it was time to let someone else into their protective little bubble.
She knew it was going to be incredibly difficult to let go of the tight hold she had on everything in her life, to begin to share it anew with someone else, but she also knew if she didn’t take that risk and give Nick the chance to be a part of it, too, she ran the risk of being lonely, and wondering what might have been between them.
After everything they’d experienced lately, her heart knew she couldn’t allow that to happen.
Taking another sip of her tea to fortify her, she kissed the tops of her children’s heads, and headed out to see if she could make amends.