Chapter 23 #2
She laughs and squeals and beats against my back, but she’s not truly fighting me. I deposit her on the couch, flat on her back, then I hover over her, my hands resting on either side of her head. “You’re disqualified for not playing fair,” I say.
Her eyes darken as her gaze drops to my lips. “I don’t know,” she says softly. “I think…maybe some rules are made to be broken.”
She’s asking me to kiss her, and not for the first time.
I want to kiss her.
But a part of me is still scared to do it. I’ve already kissed her enough to know that if I let myself have her because I want her, there’s no coming back from that. I’ll be all in—all the way.
Even if she never comes to a game. Even if I never understand why. Even if I’m never quite certain she would have chosen me for me. I’ll be in too deep to care, to want any life but one that has her in it.
Slowly, Sarah lifts her hands to my forearms, her thumbs tracing circles on my skin. “I’m scared, Carter,” she says, a new vulnerability in her tone. And that’s what pushes me over the edge. What makes me realize it’s already too late.
I’m in love with her. Wholly. Completely.
And then the doorbell rings.
Sarah grips my arms a little tighter, a question in her gaze. “Are we expecting anyone?” she asks.
I lean back and shift, pulling my phone out of my pocket. “Not that I’m aware of,” I say. I pull up the app for our doorbell camera and check the live feed. “It’s your brother.”
“What’s he doing here?” Sarah moves to sit up, and I scoot back, giving her a little more room.
“No clue,” I say. “Should we just ignore him?”
Miles rings the doorbell a few more times.
Sarah sighs. “We can’t ignore him. I just—really don’t want to talk to him right now.”
“Then I’ll talk to him,” I say. “If you don’t want to see him, you don’t have to.”
She bites her lip. “Are you sure?”
I reach over and give her hand a quick squeeze. “Of course I’m sure. You just stay hidden.” I take a slight detour to my bedroom to grab another shirt, then I make my way to the front door, glancing over my shoulder to make sure Sarah is nowhere in sight.
Then I swing open the front door and make eye contact with Miles. “Hey, man,” I say, trying to keep my voice casual. “What are you doing here?”
“I need to see my sister,” he says, his voice a little gruffer than usual.
He’s been off the last week, so I haven’t seen him since I was at the hospital, and he looks exhausted.
I don’t think he’s shaved since then, and there are dark circles under his eyes.
I guess that’s to be expected when he’s got a newborn in the house.
Miles steps forward like he’s coming inside, but I lift an arm, bracing it against the door jamb to stop his entry.
He hesitates, rocking back on his heels, then lifts his eyes to mine.
“Now isn’t a great time,” I say, and his gaze narrows.
“What do you mean it isn’t a great time? You can’t tell me I can’t talk to her.”
“I just did,” I say slowly.
He huffs out a laugh. “What are you doing here, man? She’s my sister.”
“She might be your sister,” I say calmly, “but she’s my wife.”
His jaw hardens, and for a fraction of a second, I wonder if he might hit me. He looks like he wants to. But then he shoves his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. “Your wife, huh?”
“She doesn’t want to talk to you, Miles. Not tonight.”
He rolls his eyes. “Can we stop with all this? You’ve got a lot of nerve, man. Acting like any of this between the two of you is real. Just let me inside so I can talk to her.”
He moves to the side to step around me, but I move with him, blocking him with my whole body this time. “My wife,” I repeat, “and my house.” I level him with what I hope is my most intimidating stare. “And I said not tonight.”
Something shifts in Miles’s expression, some of the fight draining out of him, and he takes a step back. “You’ll talk to your captain like that?” he asks, and my jaw tightens.
“Not on the ice, I won’t,” I say. “Out there, you know I’ll follow you anywhere—do whatever you ask me to do. But this is bigger than hockey.”
He studies me for a long moment. “I can’t let her go back, man,” he says. “I’m just trying to protect her.” Something like hurt flashes behind his eyes. “I guess she’s got you for that now, huh?”
“That’s the thing, Miles. She doesn’t need my protection. Or yours. Not anymore. She’s stronger than you’re giving her credit for. All she needs is for you to believe her when she tells you she’s good enough to do things her way.”
“It’s not that I don’t think she’s good enough—”
“But that’s what it sounds like. Every time you try to force her into teaching, that’s how you make her feel.”
He sighs and rubs a hand over his face. “I just know how few people actually qualify. I’m trying to be practical here.”
“You know what else few people qualify for?” I say. “The NHL. Is that what this is really about? Your ego only has room for one person in your family to be great? To perform at an elite level?”
He frowns, eyes dropping to the concrete under his feet.
“Go home, Miles,” I say. “Get some sleep. You look like you need it.” I close the door before he can say anything else, then lean against it, adrenaline making me lightheaded.
I’m not sure where I got the courage to talk to Miles like that, and I might regret it the next time we’re on the ice together. But I’d do it again if I had the opportunity.
Because this is bigger than hockey. Which is a weird realization. Nothing outside of my immediate family has ever been bigger—more important—than hockey.
But Sarah is. I’m sure of that now.
I slowly make my way back toward the kitchen, but I pause when Sarah steps out of the shadowy dining room. Her eyes are damp with tears, and a pulse of fear rushes through me. Did I say something that made her upset? She might not have wanted me to fight her battles, and that’s exactly what I did.
“Did you hear…?”
She steps forward and wraps her arms around my waist, pressing herself against me and silencing the rest of my question. I let my arms wrap around her back and hold her against me, bending down to press a kiss against her hair.
She leans back, lifting her hands to my face, grazing her fingers over my jaw before pushing up on her toes and kissing me on the cheek, just shy of my mouth. “Thank you,” she whispers, then she turns and heads to her room, taking my heart with her as she goes.