Chapter 27
SARAH
The first hour at the hospital, we don’t know much outside of what Nico first told Carter about the nature of Theo’s injury. Now we’re just hoping a member of the surgical team will update us as soon as there’s more information to share.
Which means the only thing we have to do is wait.
Several of the Jaguars players stop by, and of course Nico and Coach Kimzey are here, but I can’t decide if the distraction of extra people around is making things easier or harder for Carter.
Because he wants to talk to everyone. Make them feel better.
Make sure everyone else in the room has everything they need.
But is that what he needs? I’m not sure rehashing the same information, answering the same questions over and over again, is doing him any good.
I step to the door of the waiting area and look up and down the hall, wondering if there’s somewhere else I could take him for a minute of solitude. Long enough for me to look him in the eyes and make sure he’s okay.
Across the hall, a nurse in navy scrubs is watching the waiting room. Really watching. Not just passing by, but staring like she’s thinking about coming in. My eyes drop to her name badge. It reads Rebecca.
Rebecca. Could she be Theo’s Rebecca? Carter did say she worked on the surgical floor of Atlanta General, so this could absolutely be her, but it’s not a super uncommon name, so maybe not?
“Hi,” I say when we make eye contact. “I was wondering if you could help me. My husband’s brother is in surgery right now, and there are so many people here to support him and wait for news. But I think he might need a minute of privacy. Is there somewhere we could go? Just for a second.”
“There’s a quiet room down the hall and to the right,” she says. “It’s usually empty.”
I nod. “Perfect. Thank you.”
She looks like she might want to say something else, but then she gives her head a little shake and turns and heads down the hall.
I make my way back to Carter, finding him in a conversation with Holly and Jordo. I slip an arm around his waist, and he tucks me into his side, his grip on my shoulder a little tighter than usual. It feels like he’s telling me not to go anywhere.
“Hey,” I say, as soon as there’s a break in the conversation. “Come with me for a sec?”
He nods and I thread my fingers through his, tugging him toward the door. “We’ll be right back,” I say to Nico, then we head down the hall to the quiet room.
The space lives up to its name. It is quiet—we can’t hear the low hum of hospital activity at all—with low lighting, comfortable seating, and a tiny water feature in the corner that creates a surprisingly soothing vibe.
“I thought you might need a minute to breathe,” I say to Carter.
He moves to the small couch against the wall and sits down, then pulls me onto his lap, wrapping his arms around me and burying his face in my shoulder.
“That was a good thought,” he says.
I lift my hands to his hair, gently running my fingers over his scalp. “What do you need? Is there anything I can do?”
“You’re doing it,” he says. “I’m really glad you’re here.”
“Where else would I be?” I let my hands slide down to his face, then I lean in and press a lingering kiss to his mouth.
“I missed you,” he says, his voice soft. “I feel like there’s so much I want to say to you, but…”
“We have time,” I say. “We don’t have to worry about any of that now.”
He takes another deep breath, and I can practically feel the tension leaving his body.
“So, I’m pretty sure I saw Rebecca,” I say. “This is her floor, right?”
“Yeah, I guess so,” Carter says.
“Honestly, when I said we needed to get Theo back in the hospital to run into her, this is not what I had in mind.”
Carter chuckles. “It is very Theo. Nice and dramatic.”
There’s a slight tremor in his voice, and an ache fills my chest. I wish I could reach in and take out his worry, carry it for him so he wouldn’t have to feel this way.
We’re quiet for a long moment before I say, “He’s going to be okay, Carter.”
His grip around me tightens.
“He’s strong and stubborn and fiercely competitive. He’s not going to let this beat him.”
“But will he play hockey again?” he asks, his voice raw, vulnerable.
“He will,” I say, hoping against hope that I’m not lying to him. “He’ll find a way.”
We stay in the quiet room for another ten minutes or so, then Nico texts to say the surgeon is there to give us an update, so we quickly make our way back to the waiting room.
According to the surgeon, everything has gone well so far, but the microvascular team is still tackling the very delicate work of repairing the damaged nerves and blood vessels.
No one needs to say out loud how important this part is. If he is going to play again, at the same elite level he plays at now, his dexterity is a huge part of it.
Carter shakes the surgeon’s hand. “Thank you, doctor,” he says. “How much longer will he be in surgery?”
“At least another hour,” he says. “Maybe a little longer.”
After the surgeon leaves, Holly and Jordo and the other players who are still around say their goodbyes and head home.
Even though they don’t have a game tomorrow, playoffs start in two days.
They all need to be prioritizing their health, making sure they’re getting enough sleep.
Coach Kimzey also leaves, promising to return first thing in the morning, leaving just me, Carter, and Nico in the waiting room.
“Listen, if you want to head home and get some sleep,” Nico says, “I can call you as soon as he’s out of surgery and awake. You have to take care of yourself, man. The team’s going to need you now more than ever.”
Carter quickly shakes his head. “I won’t leave until I see him.”
“I won’t leave either,” a voice says, and we turn to see Miles standing behind us. He has a to-go container of food in his hands, and he holds it out, offering it to Carter. “I assume you didn’t eat after the game. You need to.”
Carter takes the food, then he glances over at me.
As far as I know, he and Miles haven’t talked much since their confrontation on our front porch.
I haven’t talked to my brother at all, so his presence now is unexpected.
Maybe it shouldn’t be. He’s Theo’s team captain, after all. He should be here.
Miles makes eye contact with me, then he hesitates the slightest bit, like he’s suddenly questioning whether he’s welcome.
He clears his throat. “Mind if I sit?”
“Not at all,” I say, motioning for him to sit down. He chooses the chair directly opposite Carter, then leans forward, propping his elbows on his knees.
“I’m sorry I’m late,” he says. “I had to do the post-game presser, then I waited for the kitchen to box up a meal for you—it’s that chicken they said you really like—then I went home to check on Anna, then I wandered around the hospital looking for a microwave where I could heat up your food.
Oh, wait. Here.” He pulls a plastic-wrapped set of disposable silverware out of his pocket and hands it to Carter.
Carter hasn’t opened the container yet—he’s probably just as confused by Miles’s presence as I am.
“Dude. Eat,” Miles says. “You have to refuel after a game.”
“Thank you,” Carter says slowly, then Miles looks over at Nico.
“Nico, can you give us the room please?” When he’s like this, I can absolutely understand why Miles makes such a good team captain. He has a very commanding presence.
Nico quickly stands and steps into the hallway, and suddenly I’m alone with the two most important men in my life.
Miles is quiet for a long moment, eyes on the floor. “I have something to say to each of you,” he finally says. “And I’m bad at stuff like this, so just…let me get it all out before you say anything.”
I pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them, suddenly sensing what Miles is about to do. Carter glances over and must sense my discomfort, because he puts down his food and reaches for my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
Miles looks at Carter first. “When Sarah and I were kids, our father was not a good man. He wanted to be, but then he would drink too much, get angry, and tell me about that anger with his fists. For years, that was my reality. But I took it, dealt with it, because he was still paying the bills. Mom was sick, unable to work, and I wasn’t sure how we would survive if we left him. ”
I tighten my grip on Carter’s fingers. I’m not sure I’ve ever heard my brother speak this openly about our past. Not to anyone.
“As soon as I signed my first contract and started making enough money to take care of them, I found a house for Mom and Sarah, told my dad to get lost, and threatened to press charges if he ever talked to any of us again.” He takes a steadying breath.
“I tell you all that because I need you to understand why it’s been so important to me that Sarah stay in the U.S.
with me. I’m ten years older than she is—she was only eight years old when I started in the NHL.
I have been responsible for protecting her, taking care of her, for a very long time. ”
“I get that,” Carter says, but Miles holds up his hand, stopping him before he can say more.
“Just let me finish.”
I shoot Carter an amused look. Even in his apology, Miles is still being very Miles.
“My frustration has never been about you personally,” Miles continues.
“It’s always been about my own fear and my unwillingness to relinquish control.
But then when I showed up at your house and you wouldn’t back down, I realized you’re exactly the kind of man I want for my sister.
Not because you can protect her as well as I can, but because you recognize her strength better than I ever have.
” Miles finally shifts his gaze over to me.
“I’m sorry, Sarah,” he says. “I’m not going to tell you what to do anymore.
I trust you. And I really do think you’re an amazing artist. Anna says I haven’t made that clear enough, so I’m going to work on that.
” He waves a hand in our general direction.
“And if the two of you want to just…be in love or whatever, then I guess I’m happy for you. ”
I make eye contact with Carter. We haven’t said anything about love—not to each other—but I’m not about to protest when Miles is essentially giving us his blessing. Not just for a marriage of convenience but for a real union. A real marriage.
We’ve done everything out of order. Marriage is usually the thing you build to—work toward for months and months, getting to know each other, learning how to fight, learning how to compromise.
We’ve got the marriage part out of the way, but all that other stuff hasn’t happened yet, and there’s something scary about that.
Then again, maybe knowing we love each other is enough. Love is what makes you willing to put in the work. I’ve never been so certain that I’m willing—that a life with Carter is exactly what I want.
I reach for Carter’s hand, pulling both of his into mine and capturing his full attention.
I tilt my head toward Miles. “That’s why I can’t go to hockey games,” I say.
“The fighting triggers panic attacks. I saw one game where someone was punching Miles, and I just…lost it. But I really want to figure this out. I’m already talking to my therapist again because I want to come.
I want to watch you play and support you as well as you’ve supported me. ”
Carter leans over, cradling my face as he kisses me softly, his thumbs wiping at the tears suddenly spilling out of my eyes.
“I don’t need you to be there,” he says.
“I mean, of course I’d love for you to be, but…
I’ve been thinking about the possibility of Theo not playing again, and I don’t want hockey to be the only thing I have going for me.
” He looks over at Miles. “We could lose all of this at any moment. Any game. One wrong move and we’re out.
Finished. I want what I have at home to be important enough that if that happens, I still have a reason to wake up in the morning.
” Carter pulls his gaze back to me, his expression so earnest, it makes my heart ache in my chest. “That’s you for me, Sarah. That’s what I want us to have.”
He kisses me one more time, this time long enough to make me keenly aware that my big brother is watching.
To Miles’s credit, he doesn’t joke or comment or tell us to get a room, even though I’m one hundred percent certain he wants to.
Carter gives me a small smile as he pulls back, his hands lingering on my face. “Thanks for telling me,” he says.
“I’m sorry I didn’t sooner. It’s not particularly easy to talk about. Also, someone didn’t want me to.” I tilt my head toward Miles, who holds his hands up defensively.
“Don’t look at me like that. You got your apology. And I did all the extra things Anna said I had to do to make sure you know I really meant it.” He points at Carter’s still uneaten meal. “I warmed up his food, which, come on, man. It’s probably not even warm anymore.”
Carter chuckles as he picks up the container. “I don’t mind eating it cold. Thanks for bringing it.”
“So are we good?” Miles says, clapping his hands on his knees.
I stand and hold out my hand, motioning for Miles to get off his chair and give me a hug. “We’re good,” I say. “Thanks for apologizing.”
“So, talk to me about Theo,” Miles says as he sits back down. “What are we going to do to get him back on the ice by next season?”