23. Chapter 22
Chapter 22
Kaitlyn
Joseph is sleeping soundly upstairs when Gillian joins us all at the table for breakfast. She checks the little baby monitor app on her phone, flipping it around to show Jason that he’s tuckered out and safe.
He nods and leans over to kiss her cheek.
Griffin has been mostly silent up until this point, and I can understand why. It’s intimidating when you meet people who are important to someone you care about.
Even though none of this is reality. My inner anxieties still haven’t learned to shut up.
I feel him reach over and squeeze my thigh. That settles me enough to break the silence. “I’m glad you came, guys. Griffin and I are off to London tomorrow, so you picked the perfect time. We get a full day and night together.”
“London? What did I miss?” Gillian asks.
“A lot actually.” Here we go. “I’ve left my job at Wilder and am going to work for Griffin’s legal team.”
I brace for impact. The fierce one, otherwise known as my brother-in-law, doesn’t take too well to this news. “Is mixing work and personal this quickly a bit… impulsive?” he asks.
“That’s the pot calling the kettle black, isn’t it, brother dear?” I fire back.
“Kait.” Gillian sighs.
My father immediately attempts to mediate. “Kids. Let’s not.”
Griffin leans forward a bit, moving his hand from my thigh to weaving his fingers with mine. “I can assure you; Kaitlyn has been granted a very competitive contract and she is satisfied with the terms. In fact, she wrote her own ticket. She is a very capable and intelligent woman and to think she didn’t have a proper thought process on this opportunity is shortsighted and a little offensive.
“I only will ever have her best interests at heart in any decision we make personally or professionally. I’d think that’s what her family would want for her in both arenas. If you want to question my character, fine. Let’s do that. Otherwise, I’d appreciate leaving her judgment out of it.”
Jason, to my surprise, raises his hands in surrender. “We are having breakfast. Let’s table this conversation for after our meal.”
I sigh heavily and turn my gaze to Griffin and mouth, “I’m sorry.”
He shakes his head and winks. He can handle any confrontation that might be had in terms of our arrangement, preexisting or the one developing as we go.
I’m curled in the big chair by the window, looking out over the property when Jason walks through the room and heads out the front door to take a phone call… and Griffin is on his heels. Oh shit.
I move to stand when my sister rounds the corner and stops me. “Sit. Let them talk. Dad is sitting in with Joseph for a bit. He wanted some grandpa time.”
“Why did it feel so combative at breakfast? I don’t understand. I told you the situation, except for the job thing, which just happened and is a very long story. Jason didn’t have to get snippy like that.” I cross my arms over my chest.
Gillian perches on the arm of the chair. “You know Jason cares for you like a sister. He’s very protective of the people he loves, and you know this entire thing is unusual. He likes to be in control and understand everything. You’ve thrown him for a loop here.”
“While I appreciate that, he didn’t need to come in here and give Griffin the third degree. I’m an adult. I know what I’m doing.” I crane my neck to try to see out the window.
“Are you sure about that?”
“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be sure?”
She spins around so her feet are on the cushion under me. “Don’t you even notice? You can’t be that blind, Pixie.”
“Notice what?”
“That man is into you. Like, really, really into you. He looks at you like you hung the moon.”
“Hung the moon? Are you back reading Bront? again? We enjoy each other’s company and the sex isn’t bad. Why does it have to be more complicated than that?”
“Oh no,” Gillian sighs.
“Oh no, what? Did the use of the s word offend your tender ears?” I’m being a brat, but I don’t care. I don’t like this conversation. I don’t want to think about any of it.
“Knock it off. The more you blow it off, the more I’m positive you’re just as into him. I can see it all over your face.”
“You can. Yeah, okay.”
“Fine. Let me ask you point-blank. Are you in love with him?”
I’ve never lied to Gillian ever. I don’t think even once that I can remember. “Love is a big word.”
“It’s a simple one, Kaitlyn, along with its answer. Yes or no.”
“It’s not a yes or no answer to me. I know I feel strongly for him. The thought of not talking to him anymore, or being around him anymore, makes my stomach twist up in knots. I’ve been in love before, Gilly, at least I think, and I’m not sure it felt this way.”
She crosses her arms. “I knew it. You are in love with him.”
“Did you not hear what I just said?”
“Every word. You’ve never felt this before because this is what love feels like. You’ve fallen hard for him and, Kaitlyn, that really worries me.”
I push to my feet to pace across the room, needing to put some distance between myself and whatever revelation my sister seems to be having for the both of us.
Am I really, really in love with him? Our time together rolls through my brain like a film reel. Every kiss, every laugh, every conversation, every bickering argument… and at the end of it all, only one thing is clear.
“Oh, fuck,” I whisper to myself.
Griffin
The air outside is clean. The tension can still be cut with a knife. Jason is on the far end of the porch, deep in quiet conversation with whoever it is, leaving me to run through my plans of attack when he’s finished.
We were raised within an hour of each other. We’ve got a few second and third tier acquaintances in common. I have a feeling we respond very similarly when push comes to shove and that won’t be good for anyone. I have to keep in mind he’s set on protecting what is his. That includes Kaitlyn. What he doesn’t realize is, we’re on the same team, no matter what Gillian’s told him, or he thinks he knows.
“Thanks, Nate. I appreciate the work. My best to Colby. Yes, we’ll be home late Sunday. If I need anything further, I’ll let you know. Cheers.”
Jason hangs up the phone, sliding it back into his front pocket. His hands spread out over the railing as he looks off into the tree-lined distance. I know this game. I’ve played it to a master level. He’s using silence to throw me off my feet. Trust me, it’s not the silence that will get me, it will be the pointed questions I’m sure will follow.
The game of chicken lingers on for a few moments before I win the first battle. “We can either do this here, or we can venture out into the barn where their eyes can’t find us. The choice you make will tell me everything I need to know.”
“As long as Sam isn’t in earshot, I think right here will do just fine,” I reply.
“Suit yourself,” he says back but doesn’t continue. He’s waiting for me to make the first pitch.
“You don’t have to worry about her with me, you know? The last thing I’d ever do is put her in a situation where she could be hurt.”
He laughs sarcastically. “That ship has long since sailed, don’t you think?”
“What do you mean? Elaborate, please.” I hold my arms out in confusion. “Kaitlyn is my number one priority.”
“You put her ahead of whatever it is you’re trying to accomplish with this charade?”
“Always. She is always my first thought.”
“If that were true, she wouldn’t be a pawn in this plan of yours.”
“If by yours, you mean the contract she and I comprised together, it is a decision she made freely and can leave at any time.” I take one step closer. “If you call her a pawn again, I will forget the manners my mother taught me and the respect I have for the Logan family and drop you where you stand.”
“Is that a threat, Mr. Shaw?”
“It’s a promise. I don’t like it when Kaitlyn speaks ill of herself so I’ll be damned if I let anyone else do it.”
Jason allows a smirk to evolve. “Very good. You passed at least one test. And, just so we’re clear, you’d be laid out at my feet before your thought of a fight with me was even finished.”
I clear my throat as quietly as possible. “I completed university a long time ago. I no longer take tests.”
“If this isn’t a game, tell me what you’re doing with her.” He immediately puts his hands up. “I don’t need details of the adult kind. I need details of your relationship as it pertains to this contract you’ve entered. I don’t trust your father, especially after the file I reviewed earlier.”
“Spying on my family? Kaitlyn was right. You really do think you’re James Bond.”
She didn’t say that. I just wanted to dig at him a little bit.
“Kaitlyn is my family, and I will always check into anyone my family is around, especially if the situation is, for lack of a better word, bizarre.”
“There’s nothing bizarre about this. Kaitlyn and I met in the middle of an ongoing issue I’m having with my father. I won’t bore you with those details, though I’m sure you already know most of it. She thought of a way to help me. We came up with a contract, an arrangement together, and when my father approves of the relationship, he’ll sign the controlling portion of Orion over to me. That’s it. After that, Kaitlyn and I can go our separate ways.”
“Hardly, now that you’ve hired her.”
“With all due respect, don’t assume you know anything about our relationship.”
“Or lack thereof,” he adds. “You have to understand, my sister-in-law wears her heart on her sleeve. She’s kind, smart, caring, and brilliant. The last thing I want is for her to end up with a broken heart. Can you assure me that won’t happen?”
“Are you seriously trying to tell me who she is? I know she’s the ray of sunlight in every room she enters, even when she enters it with that glorious attitude I know she possesses. I know her heart is bigger than the last three people I’ve met combined. I know she’s selfless, nearly to a fault, and I know she deserves the world.”
“You still didn’t answer my question.”
I want to scream yes. I want to promise that more than I’ve wanted to promise anything in this world. I also would like to say I won’t end up broken beyond repair, but I know better. In an instant, I recall a conversation my mother had with me when I started dating.
“I’d like to promise she’ll have no pain, but that would be a lie. Can you promise no pain for Gillian or your son?” I see a slight crack in his bravado at their mention. Could some consider it a low blow? I suppose. I see it as a man speaking truth to another man. “I can promise I will do everything to protect Kaitlyn, no matter what comes our way. Isn’t that all any of us can do when we…isn’t that all any of us can do?”
“I’m going to ask you a question, and I’d like an honest answer,” he asks.
“I wouldn’t give you anything but honesty.”
“If you care for her so much, why the facade? What’s stopping you from ripping up the agreement and simply being with her?”
My instant response is to shout from the rooftops that I would give anything to be able to do that. Any person with a pulse can see we care for each other, but I know what being with me, really being with me, brings to the table.
She cracked under the pressure of seeing the comments that were the tip of the iceberg. I refuse to subject her to anything worse, and it would be impossible to avoid long term. I live in the UK, and she lives here, in America. I couldn’t ask her to leave her family. My job, once I take over, will be more demanding and I will travel even more than I do now. She’ll be widowed by my career. I love her too much for any of that.
But I don’t say all of those things to him. Saying them out loud makes them real and makes the harsh reality of our endgame crystal clear.
“Because I can’t give her what she deserves,” I say plainly.
“If that’s the truth, which I’m not sure it is, and she ends up how I think she will, know I will come for you, Shaw. I won’t leave it to you to guess. It’s a threat and an absolute promise.”
Jason walks away from our conversation before I can think of anything to say, not that anything I could’ve come up with would have meant a damn word after that. Honestly, if I do break her in any way, I hope he does destroy me so I won’t have to live with what I’ve done.