Chapter 16
CHAPTER 16
L ogan’s gut was in chaos as they slowly rode around the top of the cliff’s drop. With two-dimensional NVGs on, everything looked flat. A rock sticking up didn’t look like it was sticking up at all. The intense concentration he had to use, plus keep his hearing keyed for any out-of-the-ordinary noises that could mean Hill or Taliban were nearby, kept him laser focused. The relief at having Jess riding in front of him, an arm around her waist, keeping her solidly on the horse, would have overwhelmed him, had he allowed it to. She was frightened, tense, and he couldn’t blame her at all.
Logan didn’t dare go to his heart. He loved her, and they were in so much deep trouble that he wasn’t sure he could get them out of it alive. And that is what kept trying to tear at him the most; the one thing he couldn’t protect himself against was his love for this brave, courageous woman. The way Jess soldiered on, despite her obvious fear, spoke volumes about her true grit, honed by military discipline.
As they passed the point where the cliff rejoined the surrounding slope and ceased being a threat, Logan halted. He slid off their mount, pulling his NVGs up onto his forehead, asking Jess to hold the reins and keep the horse still while he shrugged out of his ruck. Taking out the sat phone, the regular radio still being out of range, he placed a call to Chris. He gave his partner their current GPS coordinates, plus the status on Jess, and they discussed the latest drone update on where all the Taliban players were located. By his watch, it was 0300. They had until 0500 before the first light of dawn would crack the night, leaving them vulnerable to the eyes of the Taliban. He shielded a tiny penlight in one hand as he opened a map, spreading it on the ground, going over with Chris any cave locations within a two-hour ride. They came up with several possibilities and Logan wrote them down. He finished off the call, saying he’d check in once they’d reached a cave where they could hide for the day.
Jess was shivering in the cold. The back of the horse was warm, and it felt good, but the strong gusts of wind that rocked the area, coming down off the fourteen-thousand-foot snow-covered peaks, were causing the air temperature to plummet. She didn’t want to say anything, knowing Logan had his focus on getting them out of this alive. Jess was seeing him in SEAL mode; his face expressionless, but his eyes alive, aware, his gaze constantly moving around the area. He took nothing for granted. And it kept her on an adrenaline high, understanding, even as a Seabee, the oppressive threat of being surrounded on three sides by the enemy. Looking up at the stars overhead between the fragmented clouds, Jess figured two hours until dawn. And when that light came, the Taliban could not only track her boot tracks easier but could spot her and Logan outright if they got close enough.
Logan folded up the map, tucking it inside his cammie jacket. He then slipped the sat phone into an outer pocket of the ruck and came over to Jess. Placing a gloved hand on her thigh, he could see her deeply shadowed face even without his NVGs in place. The terror in Jess’s eyes tried to tug powerfully at his heart. He shut that down fast, squeezing her thigh to lend her comfort and gain her concentration. “We’re going to continue down the slope at an angle,” he told her. Knowledge would take some of the fear he saw out of her. “We’ll ride two hours, and Chris has a couple of caves that we can check out.”
“Caves?”
“Yeah, we’re going to have to hole up for the daylight hours and hide from the Taliban.”
Jess licked her lower lip, her brows moving down. “Then, we only move at night?”
Logan heard the strain in Jess’s husky voice and gently rubbed her thigh to try and ease some of the tension out of her. “Yes.”
“But… they know the caves. Won’t they find us in one?” Logan’s hand felt comforting, and she ached to be in his arms right now. He always gave her such a sense of safety.
Logan shrugged. “There’re hundreds of caves around here, Jess. They don’t have that many men to search every single one.”
“What about our tracks?”
“I swept out your tracks before I mounted up back there. What they’ll find, eventually, is only horse prints. Whether they put it together that it’s you or not, I don’t know. They think you’re on foot, so they’re going to be looking for boot prints, not horse tracks.”
“Are there horses wandering around loose in these mountains?”
He smiled a little, holding her dark gaze. Jess was smart. “Yeah, some get loose. There’s Afghan horse traders who travel through these areas, too, bringing strings of them.”
“You think they’ll not know you were here with a horse?”
Shrugging, Logan said, “That’s what I’m hoping. If we manage to fool them, it means confusion in Khogani’s ranks. He won’t be able to tell his army in the east and west where to go to hunt for us.” He patted her thigh, seeing some of the tension in her face dissolve. “How are YOU doing?” he demanded, searching her eyes.
“I’m cold.”
“Yeah, it’s a bitch at this altitude,” Logan muttered. He was plenty warm because of the H-gear harness he wore around his torso, but he needed to keep that on him for the ammo. “We’re heading down. I’m hoping in two hours we’ll reach those caves, and they’re a lot warmer than the outside air, as you probably noticed.” He leaped up behind her, settling his ruck so that it rested on the rump of the horse even though he kept it on his back. It took some of the strain off his shoulder muscles.
Jess closed her eyes for a moment as Logan wrapped his arm around her waist. He was so tall and broad that he became a windbreak for her, and she wasn’t nearly as cold as before. Except that her hands were freezing to the point where she could no longer feel them. A small price to pay, she thought, for getting away from Khogani. Logan nudged the horse forward and the gelding slowly picked his way down the littered slope of rocks, fallen limbs, and brush. She kept her fingers wrapped firmly in the mane, worrying that the horse might trip again, and fall for real this time. She kept Logan’s words replaying in her head; that he had her, that he wouldn’t let her fall. Jess wanted to tell him how much it meant to her that he’d come for her. But she continued to respect his need for focus. All that would all have to wait.
***
The dawn was just crawling up to challenge the night sky when Logan found one of the caves that Chris had identified for him. Jess remained on the horse, reins in hand, while he shoved his ruck near the cave entrance and went in with his M4 rifle, checking it out, clearing it for any potential enemy within. The wind had calmed and there was a muted silence around them. The cave was up an escarpment of smooth rock, so there would be no hoofprints to be found by the Taliban trackers. It had a small entrance, tall and narrow, reminding Jess of an opening to an Indian teepee. It was about eight feet high and five feet wide. She had no idea how big it was inside, or if it was a dry or wet cave. It stood on a dolomite skirt of white-and-gray rock, overlooking the evergreen forest below.
Logan silently reappeared, scaring her. Jess placed her hand against her heart as it banged away in her throat. The horse just lifted his ears toward Logan. He walked over to her, placing a hand on her leg.
“It’s clear. Chris picked a good one. Come on, I’ll help you down,” and he placed his hands around Jess’s waist and easily lifted her up and off the horse. Jess kept the reins in her hand, fearful the horse might run away, and they’d have nothing to ride. Her knees nearly buckled when her boots touched the ground. Logan kept his arm around her waist, standing solid, allowing her to get her feet under her.
“I’m not used to riding,” Jess muttered, gripping his arms. “My knees…” She saw him smile a little.
“Yeah, it’s rough on the butt, the thighs and knees. You’re doing good, Jess.” He saw her rally beneath his low words of praise. Her hands on his arms felt good and he wanted to kiss her. That would come later once they were inside, well hidden, and the horse taken care of.
“Thanks,” Jess muttered, shaking her head. “I’m okay now.”
Logan didn’t let go of her hand. He took the reins to the horse and said, “We got lucky. There’re openings in the cave roof. They’re going to give us light inside. Otherwise, we’d be blind as bats because NVGs don’t work in caves for the most part. Follow the horse and me? I think you’ll like your new digs,” and he grinned.
The moment Logan’s face broke into a boyish smile, Jess’s heart melted. He was incredibly handsome, confident, and she was so grateful he was at her side. She slowly followed the horse into the cave. Looking around, Jess saw ragged holes up above, perhaps twenty feet from where she stood, light from the soft pink dawn sky outside already falling inside the cave. The cave got warmer the more they walked toward the rear of it. To her surprise, she saw a tunnel to the left and Logan took it. It was sheer rock, and the floor was nubby with sharp-pointed stalagmites about one inch tall. The horse was carefully picking his way in and around them, just like she was. Jess would not want to fall on any of them, thinking that the sharp points would impale her.
The holes above in the cave ceiling were large and small. They reminded her of the many holes found in Swiss cheese. In some places, as Jess walked in the tunnel, she saw where bits of dirt, rocks, or pieces of plant had fallen through the holes onto its floor. The warmth continued and she finally felt her fingers begin to thaw.
They walked almost a quarter of a mile before the tunnel opened up in an amazing chamber that took Jess’s breath away. It was an oval cave, and a quarter of the ceiling had a long, narrow opening. She could again see the night being chased away by the coming dawn through it. Hearing water, she saw Logan leading the horse over to a small pool. Amazed that there was water, Jess saw it was dripping down from the roof, over a wall of rocks and collecting in the pool at the bottom. The horse pushed forward, thrusting his muzzle eagerly into it, gulping noisily, drinking deeply. Logan stood to one side, turning and watching her progress.
“Home away from home,” he murmured, holding out his hand toward her.
Jess slid her fingers into his gloved hand, feeling his warmth. “Won’t our voices carry?”
“As long as we talk in a low voice and not a whisper, those carry further, we’ll be fine.” Logan handed her the reins to the horse. “I need to wipe out any evidence we’re here. If Taliban happen by, they’ll be looking for tracks. When they find none, they’ll move on.” He saw the fear come to Jess’s eyes. “We’ll be okay in here,” he reassured her. “I’ll be back in about thirty minutes. Got to go down off the escarpment and erase the horse prints for a ways down there, too.”
“What do I do with the horse?”
Logan pointed to a rock sticking out of the wall. “Once he’s done drinking, take him over there and tie the reins around the rock. He’s tired. All he wants to do is stand and rest.”
She grimaced. “Like us.”
He grinned. “Yeah. When I get back, I’ll take care of you, Jess.”
Her heart throbbed with need of Logan. Ordinarily, Jess didn’t need reassurance, but, being thrown into this situation, she wanted Logan near. Be in his arms. Holding him. “Be careful?”
He nodded. “Always. I’ll be back…”
Jess had sat down near where the horse stood with one of its hind legs cocked in a resting position. She lost track of time, apart from the sky through the slit in the roof showing the night was nearly gone. It was warm in the cave, and, for that, she was more than grateful. Logan had left his ruck, and she’d opened it up and found a gallon of fresh water. She drank plenty, knowing she had to remain hydrated. The fact there was a pool where the two plastic one-gallon containers could be refilled, made Jess feel better. She found a stash of protein bars and ate one, stopping the growling of her stomach.
Logan appeared like a ghost out of the tunnel, scaring her again. Jess gasped, her hand flying to her throat.
“Sorry,” Logan murmured, walking over and placing his rifle against the wall nearby. He shrugged out of his heavy H-gear, setting it near the rifle. “How are you doing?” and his gaze went to her upper-left sleeve with all its dried blood stains.
“Better,” Jess murmured, watching him shuck out of his gear and his cammie jacket. Logan was sweating, the gleam across his brow. There were dark spots beneath the arms of his jacket. “I drank some of your water and ate another protein bar.”
He nodded and pulled out his medical kit from the ruck. “Good. I need to look at your arm. Here’s your antibiotics back. You dropped them where you were captured.” He walked around and knelt on her left side.
“Thanks. I noticed that missing.” Wryly, Jess elaborated, “I had two things in my pockets: the antibiotics and a Swiss Army knife. Good thing it was just the pills that fell out. I used the knife to cut the rope they had around my ankle to escape.”
“Never leave home without a knife on you,” Logan agreed, opening up the medical kit. He pulled on a pair of latex gloves. “Let me help you get off your jacket so I can look at your gunshot wound?”
Jess unbuttoned it and, together, they eased the sleeve off her left arm. She looked at it. The dressing the hateful Taliban soldier had applied was intact and relatively clean. “I guess I’d better take my pills, now that I have them back,” she muttered, picking up the plastic gallon jug. It hurt to use the arm, but Jess tried to ignore it. She popped the drugs into her mouth and took a swig of water, setting the jug down beside her. Logan reached across and took it from her hand. He wet a washcloth, unbinding the dressing, and began to scrub the area around the wound.
“This is going to hurt,” he warned her. Logan could smell Jess’s scent, and he dragged it deeply into his lungs. Her hair was mud streaked here and there, her hands, and the arms of her jacket sleeves, dirty and soiled. “Did you roll out of that cave?” he wondered, cleaning the wound.
“Yes. I thought if I tried to stand up, the horses would snort or jerk around, waking up Khogani and his men.”
He gave her a look of pride. “You’re one smart lady. You know that?”
His praise was warmth flowing through Jess. “Thanks. I was just so scared, Logan.” Her voice trembled a little. She saw him lose his game face. Instead, Jess saw sympathy come to his eyes.
“I can’t even imagine how you were feeling. I knew you had to be scared out of your mind.” Logan frowned. “Did they hurt you at all?” His breath hitched. He knew how much the Taliban hated American women.
“Just clipped my cheek with a fist was all,” she said. “They didn’t touch me otherwise, thank God.”
He released his breath and kept cleaning the wound. “Good. How’s your cheek feeling?”
She managed a half smile, beginning to relax. Being with Logan made her feel safe. “Swollen. A couple of my lower molars are loose, but that’s all.”
“I can see the swelling and purple coloring,” he murmured. Logan quickly added antiseptic to the upper arm wound, wrapped it, and placed a waterproof dressing over it. Helping Jess on with her jacket, he saw the tension in her eyes and face was just about gone. That was good. Logan understood the power of touch, of care of one human being to another. “You up for a breakfast MRE? I got some in my ruck.” He gave her a teasing look. “This isn’t a Denver Omelet with all the trimmings, but we need to get some serious food into you.” He slowly rose, his joints stiff.
“I’d love an MRE,” Jess said. Logan had his ruck very neatly packed. Everything in it had a place, and every place had a thing. He pulled off the latex gloves and shoved them and the old dressing into a plastic bag, tying it up and tucking it back into the ruck. They couldn’t afford to leave anything behind, or the Taliban would know they had been here. Even the off chance that they found it in time for that to make a difference was still a risk to be avoided.
“What I’d give for a strong cup of black coffee,” Logan said, handing her an MRE and sitting down near her boots, facing her. He pulled his open. She did the same.
Groaning softly, Jess said, “That sounds so wonderful.” She opened up her MRE, its magnesium heating tab having done its work, and started to pick delicately at it. Indeed, a Denver Omelet it was not . But it was heavy in protein and carbohydrates, necessary fuel for her body. And Jess knew they had a ways to go.
Logan ate voraciously. He had purposely packed twice the amount of MREs he would have ordinarily, assuming he’d find and rescue Jess. It had increased his carbohydrate load, but watching her hungrily eat, he was glad he’d thought ahead. “Would you like to clean up?” He pointed to the pool. “It’ll be colder than hell, but I have unscented soap and a washcloth and a towel. Interested?”
Was she ever! “That sounds absolutely wonderful.” Jess wrinkled her nose, looking over her dirty… well, everything , except her hands which she had washed before the meal. “Are you going to wash up?”
“Any chance I get,” Logan assured her. “This Afghan desert sand rubs my body raw. It gets into every crack, fold and crevice. But I’ll let you go first. That pool has a runoff and is always being fed fresh water from above. The horse has had his fill and I’ll top off the jugs, with some purification tablets throw in, and then we can bathe.”
“Luxuries,” Jess murmured, shaking her head. “We’re so spoiled, aren’t we? I shouldn’t joke, though. For real, Afghan villagers have no plumbing, no running water, no shower or bathtub.”
“No, they survive on very little,” Logan agreed, sadness in his tone. Jess was relaxing and he could see the exhaustion shadowing her eyes. “As soon as we get done eating, we’ll wash up, and then I’ll spread the sleeping bag out on the floor, and we’ll sleep together.” He saw her expression become soft. Yeah, he sure as hell wanted Jess at his side, in his arms, where she belonged. “Sound good?”
“Does it ever,” Jess quavered, giving Logan a teary-eyed look. The heat in his eyes told her how he felt about her. Jess wanted nothing more than Logan at her side. He loved her. He’d said it! And she was desperate to feel just a little bit safe in this constantly hostile environment.
“Comfy?” Logan rasped against Jess’s temple as he brought her fully against him. He’d opened up his sleeping bag and brought the top of it over her. There wasn’t enough for him, but he was more concerned she be kept warm because she was clearly in shock, on top of her recent exposure to the harsh mountain cold. With her freshly washed hair damp against his jaw and shoulder, he heard Jess make a happy sound in her throat, her arm sliding across his torso, snuggled up against him.
Logan couldn’t make love with her, although that’s exactly what he wanted to do. If they were compromised or needed to get out of here in a helluva hurry, they couldn’t be naked, that was for sure. He had his M4 lying next to him so, if he needed it, it was a hand’s length away.
Jess inhaled Logan’s fresh, male fragrance, and placed her lips against the strong column of his neck, feeling the coolness of his flesh. She trembled as he slid his arm beneath her neck and brought his other arm across her, one hand resting comfortingly against her hip; keeping her as close as they could get to one another without… no, best not to go there . Logan tensed as she kissed his neck and nuzzled. His mouth slid across her temple as she moved her hips languidly against his. She felt his hard erection beneath his trousers. It was enough to inflame her, and she felt an ache centering low in her body.
“You smell so good,” Logan rasped, controlling himself. The last thing they should be doing is loving one another. He understood Jess was in shock and she’d thought she was going to die. And when people went through that kind of experience, they often wanted to prove life over death. Survivor sex was one helluva way to confirm life. And they’d already experienced that at Landstuhl. He felt Jess press against him, and he desperately wanted to follow through with what she wanted from him. Tactically, it was the stupidest move he could make under the circumstances. Somehow, Logan had to get through to Jess that it couldn’t happen. Not here. Not now.
Raising up on one elbow, Logan eased Jess onto her back, caressing her cheek, looking deep into her half-closed eyes. Logan saw desperation, anxiety, fear, and desire all tangled up within them, confirming what he already knew: survivor sex was pushing Jess. He couldn’t fault her. She still wasn’t herself and he knew it. “Listen,” he whispered across her mouth, “I want that as much as you do, but now’s not the time, Babe.” He felt her deflate. It was nothing obvious. No sound of disappointment, no body language. Just a sense. He lifted his mouth away, lightly touching her brow, watching her anxiety abate. Touch meant everything, on a basic human level. Logan knew this well, and saw the effects of his grazing contact. “You’re in shock, Jess. When we’re like that, we aren’t thinking straight…,” and he saw the apology come to her expression. And then he saw tears. Now, he felt rotten.
“You’re right,” Jess said in a watery voice. She sniffed and wiped her eyes, embarrassed as Logan watched her with sympathy in his own. There was a tender smile across his mouth, and she felt a lump forming in her throat. Turning into his arms, hugging him close, Jess buried her face against Logan’s chest, the hot tears streaming freely out of her eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Logan rasped, feeling like shit that he’d caused Jess to cry. He knew it was the shock, but he felt as if he’d contributed to the damage. He hadn’t handled it very well, either and that was on him, not Jess. He loved her, and tunneled his fingers through her drying hair, feeling her shake with sobs as he held her. This was for the best, Logan told himself. He was sure Jess hadn’t cried since being kidnapped. She’d been on high adrenaline, unsure if she’d even survive, already struck by one of them, roughed up. He was damned thankful they hadn’t raped her. Kissing her hair, whispering her name, Logan skimmed her shoulders and back, trying to sooth Jess. Slowly, she stopped weeping, moving into a series of hiccups and then, finally, she lay quiet in his arms, his undershirt damp with her spent tears.
Jess absorbed Logan’s arms, comforting around her as if he knew she was feeling horribly vulnerable, stripped of civilization, thrown back into a time and place of ongoing, nonstop savagery. Her throat ached from crying so much and she kept her eyes closed, starved, but devouring Logan’s warm, hard length against hers. He made her feel safe. Protected. And she loved him fiercely, so afraid of losing him. Jess felt him loosen his grip, and he pressed her down on the sleeping bag, worry in his expression, laid her back against one arm enough to look into her face.
“Don’t look at me,” she muttered thickly, “I look awful…”
Logan’s mouth curved faintly. “You look beautiful to me, Jess. Feel better now?” and he nudged a few strands of hair away from her wet cheek. His whole lower body was on fire. Logan wanted nothing more than to bury himself deep within her beautiful, welcoming body. What they shared sexually was the best he’d ever had. And it was because Jess was herself, a woman of the earth, sensual and incredibly trusting.
She wrinkled her nose. “I feel ripped up, Logan.”
“I know you do.”
“And I feel ashamed.”
“Why?” He gazed into her eyes that still glistened with unshed tears. There was humiliation in Jess’s expression.
“B-because I got suckered into a trap.” She sniffed and wiped her eyes, her voice hollow with anguish. “I got up an hour after you left. I got dressed and I went outside to empty that damn bowl of water.” She frowned. “And then, I heard a little child crying over at the grove. I-I didn’t think, Logan. I just ran over there thinking one of the toddlers from the village got out of their house and had come down there to play hide ’n seek and got lost or something. Only,” and Jess’s mouth thinned, “it was too early.”
“The Hill and Taliban soldiers aren’t stupid,” he told her gravely, cupping her cheek, making Jess hold his gaze. Logan could see how embarrassed and sorry she was that she’d fallen for the trick. “They studied you, watched you, figured out what they could use, after two aborted attempts, to kidnap you the third time. Someone in Khogani’s group had the answer, Jess, children. They probably saw you at the village picking up kids and hugging them all the time.”
“Or giving them candy,” she mumbled.
Logan smiled a little more. “That, too. You spoiled them rotten, Jess. And they all love you for it. There’s a hidden mother in you,” and he kissed the tip of her nose, wanting to make her feel better, not wanting her to take the blame for her kidnapping.
Shrugging, Jess said, “Children are innocent. It’s the adults that suck.”
Laughing quietly, Logan nodded. “Got that right.”
“When I went running around that grove, I about died, Logan. There were three Taliban standing there, waiting for me.” She swallowed hard and closed her eyes. “I didn’t think !”
“Hey,” he chided, placing a finger beneath her chin, forcing her to look at him, “don’t go there. We’re all human. You’re not black ops, Jess. You’re used to working in safe places where people love you and are glad to see you. All your experience was in that direction. This is the first time you’ve been in Afghanistan. It’s just a horse of a different color, is all, Babe. You can’t blame yourself for what happened. They were very cagey and smart as to how they tricked you, was all.” Logan saw Jess give him an unsure look. “Tell me what happened after that?”
Jess closed her eyes. When she told him about being struck, he automatically pulled her a little tighter against him. She could feel Logan’s rage, but he never said a thing. When she finished, she wearily looked up at him. His face was set and hard, eyes burning with anger. His emotions were palpable, but he remained silent. “I’m tired now,” she whispered. “Can I just curl up against you and sleep?” Instantly, Jess saw Logan change. She saw the man behind the SEAL persona come back to her again. His eyes grew gentle, and he kissed her mouth with such tenderness that Jess swore she felt on the edge of orgasm. Logan had that kind of hot, sensual effect on her body because he held her heart in those large, scarred hands of his.
“Come on,” Logan urged, laying down beside her, pulling her against him and then bringing the warm cover of the sleeping bag tighter across her shoulders. “Sleep all you want, Jess. We can’t move until after dark.”
Already, Jess could see the sky getting lighter. She thought she heard a bird singing somewhere near that slit in the ceiling. “I’m just glad you’re here, Logan.” Jess closed her eyes, face pressed to his shoulder, brow against his jaw. She inhaled deeply, absorbing his masculine scent, feeling his arm slide around her waist and capture her hips. For now, she was safe.