15. Zurmani
?
You loved me, especially different every time.
You keep me on my feet, happily excited.
?
Of all times for a song to pop into my head, Jill Scott's voice rings in my ear while Jawaan places kisses along my neck with expert care before moving further down. When Jawaan's mouth latched onto my left nipple, my pussy thumped like it was auditioning to be an extra in Hit Crew Masters popular dance video.
"Ooh, ba-baby," I cry.
Jawaan's masterful mouth sucks my nipple like a starving baby before releasing it and moving on to give the right breast the same attention. My inner thighs are slick with the evidence of my arousal, and my body is heating like an inferno. My breasts are one of my erogenous zones, and Jawaan is about to have me reaching my first orgasm. My hips and legs are moving, desperate for friction or something to cool me from the intense heat.
"Nah, you ain't even about to cum from nipple play, Tigress." Jawaan's intense hooded eyes peer into mine, causing me to damn near bite a hole in my bottom lip.
With his rapt eyes on me, Jawaan moves down my body placing kisses along his path, causing my pussy to wave like a crossing guard. Jawaan reaches my bottom half before spreading my legs wide, and then his eyes flicker with something I can't identify before he speaks.
"I really hope this sweet-smelling juice box doesn't like to hold on to things it shouldn't."
"Huh?" My face wrinkles and my face blanches from the weird statement that almost shifts the mood.
"You'd be surprised at the things we find while sucking and licking down here."
Uh, what?
A frown forms, and my head snaps back from the words Jawaan isn't saying and I close my legs because Jawaan got me messed up.
"You know what?—"
Jawaan's big hands wrap around my legs, holding me in place before his head dips, and he sucks my clit in his mouth.
"Oh shit!" Throwing my head back, I pant heavily at the way Jawaan sucks on my pearl like a man with a point to prove.
My breathing quickens, and my hands grip the blankets while my hips thrust into Jawaan's hungry mouth. When a low guttural growl sounds from Jawaan, I look at him staring at me while he French kisses my pearl. Coming up for air causes me to have a momentary respite and my heart races while noting Jawaan's glistening mouth and wet beard.
Jesus! I look good on him.
"Your honeypot just gave me a reason to fall in love with oral sex. Thank you for the redemption, my baby." Jawaan's heavy gaze is on my pearl, speaking directly to her versus me, and a shiver instantly fills my body from his deep, sensual, and husky tone.
Then as if I wasn't already fighting for control, Jawaan's long tongue swipes my clit like an ice cream cone before he goes back in, alternating between licking, sucking, and pleasuring my lower lips in an intimate dance no man before him has.
"Oh God. Jawaaannn," I whine.
Again, Jawaan's eyes meet mine, never releasing my lower lips from his mouth, and my legs shake when my orgasm slams into me like an ocean wave. Helpless by the feeling Jawaan is giving me, I start squirting like a geyser while my head moves from side to side with tears slipping from the corners of my eyes. Movement causes me to close my eyes so Jawaan doesn't see me falling apart, but when Jawaan's wet lips kiss mine, I quickly open my eyes. Jawaan's gaze is a soft caress shining with love and adoration while his tongue enters my mouth. Tasting myself on Jawaan's tongue causes a dizzying current to surge through me, and my hands wrap tightly around Jawaan, locking him in place. I hungrily suck Jawaan's tongue, lost in the intimacy and aftermath of his attention to my pearl.
"I love you, Zurmani," Jawaan expresses in a husky cord while his hands move between us.
A lone tear slides down my face that Jawaan kisses away before slowly entering my center, causing us to moan simultaneously.
"Ooh, I love you too," I moan, staring into his bright, glossy eyes where his words from seconds ago shimmer like a shooting star.
My nails dig into Jawaan's back when his hips thrust in and out of me at a slow, rhythmic pace that has my chest expanding. The puffs of air coming from Jawaan's mouth feel like morning dew hitting my face, giving me a euphoric feeling that I cherish.
"You better get ready because I'm marrying you, Tigress. Our son won't be bouncing from house to house like I did. Our love is what's going to keep us from falling apart when shit gets heavy."
"Mm," I moan.
In, out, in, out, Jawaan's heavy dick pushes into me without hurrying, making it difficult for my brain to settle or fully comprehend Jawaan's declaration.
My legs tremble, my bottom lip quivers and my eyes strain to stay open when my orgasm taps me on the shoulder, seeking permission to make its entrance.
"I feel you tightening around me. Does my Tigress need to cum?" Jawaan's eyes sparkle with a feisty glare, leaving me unable to communicate when his hip thrusts increase.
"Ooh, shhiittt," I moan when Jawaan pulls out and thrusts into me while grunting, causing my inner walls to tighten, squeezing his dick.
"Damn, Tigress. Fuck!" Jawaan drops his head in the crevice of my neck, and his heavy breaths hit my skin.
I feel full and like I'm on the brink of losing my mind when Jawaan pumps harder into my core. Helpless, desperate for a distraction, and fighting the impending orgasm, I run my hands up and down Jawaan's slick back. Jawaan growls and grunts in my neck before lifting his head and staring at me hungrily.
"I love you, Tigress. Cum on your dick, love." Jawaan pulls out and thrusts into me hard, causing my release to run to the front.
"Ohhh," I purr with my mouth suspended and my eyes blinking rapidly from the intensity of my orgasm.
"Fuucckkk!" Jawaan shouts before my tunnel fills with the warmth of his release, invading my walls.
"Can I ask you a question?" Now that the dust has settled, my mind is returning some of Jawaan's words to its remembrance.
"Anything," Jawaan replies, running his hand up and down my bare arm.
Jawaan and I are in our post-coital state, with me lying with my back to his chest, and while the intimate space we're in is nice, I have questions.
"What did you mean when you said bouncing from house to house like you did?"
Jawaan's hand freezes on my arm, and his body stills, causing my breath to hitch as silence stretches between us for a second or two.
"I was kidnapped from a hospital in Columbus when I was barely a day old," Jawaan lowly voices before spending the next fifteen or twenty minutes providing his backstory until he was seven years old.
Grabbing Jawaan's hand, I turn over so we're face to face, and my chest pinches from the dejected expression dulling his light brown orbs. An intense urge to encourage and lift up my man has me staring into his eyes before opening my mouth.
"Father, in the name of Jesus, I ask that you do what I can't do... heal Jawaan's fractured heart. Let him know that your love for him is greater than what those people neglected to provide. Let him know that You are a comforter in the midst of trouble, trial, and heartache. Let him know that You know our end even from the beginning. Most of all, God, lift up his bowed down head. Let him know that You sent me to provide the love no woman before me could give him. Let him see You even while looking at me." My voice becomes heavy with unshed tears, forcing me to stop praying, and Jawaan pulls me into him, holding me tight.
When water hits my bare shoulder, my tears fall silently, and I push through my feelings to give Jawaan what others failed to supply.
"They didn't and couldn't give you the love you deserve, but right here and now, I'm giving you me, my heart, and my dedication to love you with all that I am. Fuck them, other people... I got you."
Jawaan's deep laughter rumbles against my chest, causing a weak smile and tightening of my arms around him.
"How are you gonna be cussing two seconds after petitioning God on my behalf, Zurmani?"
"Tuh. The same way your dick invaded my walls hours after we were ministered to by the man of God. We can repent before going to sleep."
"What am I gonna do with you, Tigress?"
"Love me like I deserve to be loved."
"Say less."
My heart rate increases from the deadpan declaration within those two words, and a smile forms as Jawaan's heart beats in sync with mine. This moment alone lets me know that Jawaan is the man who will become my forever. Knowing that we'll be sharing a child together has me mentally two-stepping at the thought of tethering my life to this man. It's interesting that not long ago, I was dealing with the aftermath of a breakup and miscarriage. Now, here I am, dating another and about to welcome a baby into my life.
God, your blessings are never unfailing concerning me, and for this, I give you praise.
Two Days Later
"Hello. I was hoping you two would be coming today," the nurse greets us, smiling when Jawaan and I enter the NICU.
Yesterday was busy, and I got off work late, so I went home before crashing on my couch. By the time I woke up, visiting hours were over, which meant I didn't get a chance to come check on Jalil. Seeing multiple missed calls and texts from Jawaan had me calling to let him know I was all right. My call was right on time because Jawaan had sent a message twenty minutes before informing me that he was on his way to my house. Since he was already headed in my direction, he grabbed something for dinner, and we spent the night cuddling before sleep found me again.
"Is something wrong with Little Man?" Jawaan asks.
Without waiting for the nurse to enlighten us on what's going on, I walk to Jalil's crib, instantly elating me when I look inside. Jalil's eyes land on me, warming my spirit at the knowledge that God has seen fit to allow me to become his mother.
"Hey, baby boy," I coo over the clog in my throat.
"I was going to call you guys if you didn't come today because you can take him home. Of course, we need you to fill in the name on his birth certificate so we can file it. Nevertheless, he's well enough to be discharged," the nurse informs us, instantly freezing me in place.
My eyes bounce from Jalil to the nurse, and my heart rate increases with the knowledge that motherhood is now upon me.
"Oh my God. I don't have anything for him. What am I gonna do? I can't take him home with nothing planned. I thought we had more time to get ready. Wh?—"
"Ssh. Breathe, love. We got this," Jawaan whispers in my ear while my mind spirals, instantly elevating my blood pressure.
"We can provide you with a car seat, milk to get you through a couple of days, diapers, and wipes," the nurse offers.
"Good looking out. We have a name for him so do you have the birth certificate?" Jawaan calmly requests.
"Yes. Let me grab it. I'll be right back," the nurse says before walking away.
"We don't have anything for him. What are we gonna do? I haven't told my parents, brothers, or friends what's happening. How am I gonna show up with a baby?" Adrenaline shoots through my system, my eyes mist, and heat enters my body, increasing my temperature when my eyes land on Jalil.
"Breathe, Zurmani. We'll work through all that, but do me a favor, pick up our son," Jawaan says soothingly.
Without another thought, I reach into the crib, picking Jalil up and placing him against my chest, instantly feeling calm.
"He's the only thing that matters right now. I'm gonna make a call because we aren't without support," Jawaan says, removing his phone from his pocket before dialing and placing the call on speaker.
"Hey, Jawaan," an older feminine voice greets a minute later.
"Hey, Ms. Aretha. Can you rally the troops? The baby is being discharged, and we aren't prepared for what he's gonna need," Jawaan explains.
"No worries. I'll get on it now. Send me the code to get into your house. Give me about two hours, and then you can come home." With that, the call disconnects, which only increases my blood pressure because I'm still struggling with my new reality.
"I guess you two will be spending the first night at my crib," Jawaan says, winking.
Nodding, I caress Jalil's back, comforting my soul while soothing him. My life is about to change drastically, and I'm unsure how to prepare for any of it. I haven't even had a chance to inform my job of my situation, so I'll be springing my request for maternity leave on them while praying for their understanding, not to mention how my family and friends are going to react to this sudden news.
Oh God! What will my parents say about becoming grandparents to a child they didn't know was coming? I'm a mother. Wow.
"I see your mind working overtime, Tigress," Jawaan points out.
"This is a lot. We just learned that we would become parents to this adorable little boy, and we've only recently settled on his name. Now, we're on the brink of leaving this hospital with him, not to mention that he's been monitored twenty-four hours a day in this room since his early entry into this world. How are we gonna know if something is wrong with him? How can we trust that he's well enough to be with us? Ho?—"
"With God, all things are possible. Therefore, all is well. He is well. We're going to be fine," Jawaan reassures me, instantly halting the overwhelming thoughts spilling from my lips while settling my spirit. A portion of Pastor Reese's words from Sunday pops into my mind, further reassuring me.
Remember this when you leave this sacred place and hold on to it... whatever my lot God has taught me to say, it is well. It is well. It is well... with my soul.