20. Jawaan
Several Weeks Later
"I'm trying to figure out how we go from thick as thieves to solo weddings and shit." Kayshon's words are said with a tinge of disappointment accompanying his deep frown.
My gaze shifts from Kayshon to the black band on my left ring finger, and joy flows through my body.
I'm married!
"Man, we each have to forge the path necessary for our lives. Besides, why are you in your feelings when little bro already popped out with a woman and baby we weren't aware of?" Kyce asks, smirking.
"We don't move like this and stop trying to make light of this situation, big bro. My feelings are hurt. Seeing pictures isn't the same as witnessing my brother securing his happiness," Kayshon objects.
"My bad. The moment felt right a?—"
"How? You had to plan it for Pastor Reese and Letitia to be in attendance. Pastor Reese performed the ceremony, which said planning had to be done in advance. Bullshit somebody else, little nigga," Kayshon interjects, and a low chuckle escapes my mouth after seeing the tightness around his eyes.
Kayshon is right because before I left Pastor Reese's office, I asked him if he could do me the solid by marrying Zurmani and me. Since it had only been a two-hour flight, Pastor Reese and Letitia agreed to fly down on the day of my proposal. Both said they would wait for me to tell them if the wedding was a go. When Zurmani fell asleep after we sealed the deal on our engagement and I got Zurmani to agree to get married right away, I texted Pastor Reese and Letitia, letting them know we were good to go.
"All right, stop crying so much, and let's toast to new beginnings. We're all married to the women none of us saw coming. This isn't a time for sulking and shit, so get out of your feelings, big bro. Damn, I thought you called me the emotional one," I assert with my gaze on Kayshon, who flicks me off.
Kyce, Kayshon, and I are catching up and spending some much-needed time together, which we haven't had much time to do. I now understand and appreciate the beauty of having a woman in your life who makes it easy to focus on building with. The crying and whining I did with my brothers when they found happiness seems pointless now that I have Zurmani and Jalil.
"My bad. I always laughed when men would say they got the pregnancy side effects, and now I'm a walking, talking, maxi pad. This shit is crazy," Kayshon vents, causing Kyce and my mouth to drop from the news he just shared.
"Wait, Ashari is pregnant?" Kyce asks.
"Yeah, and her ass ain't got a single symptom. Meanwhile, I've been eating the weirdest shit and can cry at the drop of a hat. I ain't gonna make it through the whole pregnancy like this," Kayshon voices, hanging his head.
"This is good shit. Congratulations, big bro," I declare, smiling from ear to ear.
"Yeah, congrats, little bro. How are you feeling about this, though? I know you've had your reservations," Kyce asks.
"I'm too damn blessed to be stressed. Ashari didn't know that her placing me in control of our future concerning procreation had given me the authority I needed to knock her up. I was fucking her every chance I got," Kayshon admits, smirking with light and merriment shining in his eyes.
"Listen, how do you think Masani got pregnant with twins? I felt like I had some stuff to prove," Kyce co-signs.
"Now y'all see why I had to marry Zurmani. Having her hold the title of baby mama didn't sit right with me. My Tigress is too awesome a woman for me to not secure her place in my life. I wasn't ready for love, but I'm happy as fuck to wake up feeling the effects of it every day," I confess.
Laughter rises from the pit of my stomach when Kyce, Kayshon, and I raise our glasses because the contents differ from what we would have had before meeting and marrying our queens.
"What's funny, little nigga?" Kayshon asks.
"The fact that we're toasting with water, fake ginger ale, and strawberry lemonade. These women have clipped our wings, and we didn't see it coming," I point out.
"Man, I wanted a beer, but my stomach is queasy. I'm just hoping I'll be able to eat," Kayshon says, causing my laughter to return.
"Remind me not to go out with this pregnant nerd again, big bro," I say to Kyce, who laughs.
"How far along is Ashari?" Kyce asks, looking at Kayshon.
"She's almost out of the first trimester. Which reminds me, act surprised when the news officially breaks during Sunday dinner because we were supposed to be keeping it a secret until then," Kayshon leans in, whispering before looking from left to right like he's checking for spies or Ashari.
"Nope. I'm snitching and telling big sis that I've already added my niece or nephew to the prayer list at church. Maybe God will honor my request and allow at least your offspring to join the choir at Pursuing His Glory Ministries, making him or her a shew in for the heavenly choir," I joke, grinning.
"I c?—"
"Of all days to run into you three, hello, Kyce, Jawaan, and Kayshon."
A frown instantly appears when my eyes connect with a blast of our past that I would have been cool with never laying eyes on again in this life.
"What the fuck do you want, Carleen?" Kayshon grills with a hard edge in his tone that would chill the bones of someone with common sense.
Yet, Carleen's eyes fill with lust, and her body visibly tremors, instantly souring my stomach from seeing her reaction. Carleen is Rema Gardner's best friend and the woman who has complete knowledge of the hell we experienced and was a willing participant. Life or God's favor must be catching up with Carleen because she looks like her chickens are coming home to roost. There are dark circles under her eyes, and her hair is thinning and nearly see-through, her skin has lost its luster, and the clothes on her body appear three sizes too big from how loose fitting they are.
"I thought you might want to know that Rema died," Carleen informs us, to which Kyce, Kayshon, and I hysterically laugh like she's on a comedy stage telling the funniest jokes.
"Look at God. He keeps doing great things," Kyce says tapping his chest while pointing heavenward.
"That's no?—"
"How did she die? I wanna see something," I ask, cutting off whatever irrelevant statement Carleen was preparing to say.
Carleen's face flushes and my pulse increases while my body vibrates, causing my eyes to sparkle. I feel like this story is about to assist with my already fantastic day.
"Um... we... uh?—"
"Spit it out already. We know what y'all were about," Kyce harshly commands.
"A random guy approached Rema and bet her that she couldn't satisfy him and his friends for twelve hours. I tried to talk Rema out of it because we're getting older, but she was determined to prove to them she still had it. I got the call to go see about her from one of the guys who had found my number in her phone. Wh-when I-uh... when I got there, my mouth hit the floor because there were a lot of young men roaming around."
"How many?" Kayshon asks with merriment shining in his orbs.
"If I had to guess, I would say about thirty guys, but maybe more because I lost count when they started scattering like roaches. They had my Rema bent over a pool table, but she wasn't moving. It... my poor friend," Carleen says, unable to continue from the crying she's doing, causing us to laugh again.
"What did she get if she won?" I ask with intrigue.
"Forty-five hundred dollars, but she died just shy of reaching the twelve-hour mark," Carleen discloses, wiping her face of the lone tear that slips from her eye.
"This shit is gonna have me sleeping like a baby tonight," Kayshon says, laughing.
"That's not funny, Kayshon. Rema had a small ball gag and dildo coming from her mouth, and her poor booty was... you know what? The three of you can go to hell!" Carleen snaps before stomping off.
"We're going to the funeral. I need to see something," I insist, grinning like a Cheshire cat.
"Yep," Kyce co-signs.
"I wouldn't miss it," Kayshon adds.
A Week Later
Kayshon, Kyce, and I walk through Eternal Horizons Funeral Home doors with matching grins and casually dressed. We had been sitting at Sipping Thangs Beverages, killing time, until a reminder hit Kayshon's phone, causing us to hop in our cars and head over here. I'm wearing a t-shirt, joggers, and slides with Kayshon and Kyce matching my energy. The three of us carry black bags that do a great job masking the contents. We move like a unified front down the aisle, and I note the sparse room of maybe seven attendees. When we reach the pine box at the front of the chapel, uncontrollable and uncontainable laughter comes from the three of us when we see the person inside.
"Chile, Rema, you've let yourself go, girl." I laugh.
"I mean. Didn't anybody tell you to bob and weave on the dick?" Kayshon adds.
"How did you go from Mya Brock Akil's doppelganger to the Joker? Damn, they didn't give the undertaker anything to work with. You should be ashamed of yourself for causing them to have your mouth stretched like this," Kyce co-signs, and the three of us laugh again.
"Damn, big bro, you're right. That's exactly what she used to look like back in the day. No wonder my ass was busting her down for sport," Kayshon says, shaking his head.
"Please respect the?—"
"Aye, this is respecting this ho," Kayshon snaps cutting off the statement of the unknown person dipping in our three-way conversation.
"Let's do what we came to do before I forget that I'm trying to make Heaven my home," Kyce chimes in with a hard edge.
"Facts," I add as the three of us lift our bags and proceed with what we came here to do.
"Last night, I made love to my wife, knowing that you were choking on Hell's lava. It's too late for you, but I had my wife pray over this for me. Here you go," Kyce says before pouring a full-size bottle of olive oil on Rema's body.
"See, that's why I know Masani is great for you, big bro. That's what's up. Meanwhile, I didn't want to have Ashari worked up in her condition so I acted alone. Maybe you and Satan can find some mutual ground," Kayshon says before placing a bottle of warming lubricant on the right side of Rema's body, showcasing it for all to see.
"I've been thinking long and hard about what to leave with you, so I settled on something the demons can use on you. I mean, you should be well versed and all," I relay before placing an anaconda-sized dildo next to the lubricant. "Oh wait, I forgot something." Tapping my chin, I remove the last thing from my bag while shaking my head. "Damn, I hate to waste a good bottle, but I no longer need this band-aid, so here you go." Unscrewing the cap, I pour a pint of Hennessy over Rema's body and place the empty bottle beside the other items.
"Well, that just canceled the effects of the Holy oil, not that it worked anyway. Let's get out of here," Kyce says.
As cool as a cucumber, the three of us walk away from the pine box toward the exit before I start singing.
"Ding dong, the ho is gone. Ding dong, the ho is gone."
Kayshon and Kyce laugh before harmonizing the jingle like we're auditioning for American Idol .
Bzz. Bzz.
Once outside the funeral home, my phone vibrates, halting my steps to remove it from my pocket. My mouth curves into an unconscious smile upon seeing my wife's name on the top of my screen. Unlocking the phone, I pull up my text app and smile harder when I read her message.
Zurmani:
Dear Husband... your chest is my pillow. Your shoulder is my comfort. Your smile is my happiness. Your love is my strength. Yet, your dick is my weakness. How can I convince you to ditch your brothers to give me the things I need?
Me:
Say less. I'm heading home now.
"Aye, while I love y'all and enjoy our time?—"
"Don't even worry about it, little bro, we understand," Kyce cuts me off, smiling.
"Definitely, but, big bro, let's grab some food before we take it in. I'm starving," Kayshon says, rubbing his stomach while looking at Kyce.
"You ain't about to have me eating and gaining weight with you throughout Ashari's whole pregnancy, bro." Kyce frowns.
My smile widens in approval of the banter and closeness between my brothers and me. A thought hits me, and I pause, getting in my car to say something.
"Aye, I didn't see Carleen's loyal ass in there. That's weird," I say.
"Oh shit. I forgot to tell y'all... this damn pregnancy brain be fucking with me, but anyway, that ho dead too," Kayshon reveals with wide eyes.
"No shit," I respond, smirking.
"We just saw her," Kyce adds.
"Mhm. While grabbing pickles and Rocky Road ice cream, I saw her daughter, who said ole Carleen bit the dust. It turns out it was the same day Carleen interrupted our lunch with her informative ass. Carleen choked on something she was eating and died from suffocation. God really ain't one to play with," Kayshon explains with glee.
"Hm, the Bible does say that vengeance is His." Kyce shrugs.
"That part. Dottie Peoples said it best... He's an on-time God," I add.
"Yes, he is," Kyce and Kayshon say simultaneously.
Smiling, I get in my car and pull out of the spot, humming the old-school song by Dottie Peoples because no truer words were written.