Counting Miracles

Chapter Ten

I

Tanner stared out the gigantic picture windows of the mountain house, sipping coffee and trying to take in the sunrise, until he realized it was pointless. Preoccupied as he was, the view wasn’t registering, and he wondered again why the evening had turned out the way it had.

He hadn’t slept well, tossing and turning and awakening multiple times before finally giving up an hour earlier. Since then, he’d found himself replaying the conversation, and even now, he couldn’t sort out how he felt about it. He wasn’t upset, exactly, but…there’d been a level of presumption on Kaitlyn’s part that had rubbed him the wrong way. What was it she’d asked him? Whether he’d ever considered the possibility that she might be anything more than a fling? In that moment, he’d been so busy trying to process why the evening had suddenly turned sour that he hadn’t responded. Now, though, if he could go back in time, he would have pointed out that they’d known each other less than a week. What did she expect? A promise ring? A marriage proposal? After only five days?

He drained his cup of coffee, assuring himself again that his ruffled feathers were justified. God knows it was too soon for any kind of deep commitment between them; frankly, it was way too early for her to even pose a question like that. And yet…

He’d tossed and turned all night partly because he knew she wasn’t wrong in suspecting that even if he’d stayed here until June, the question still might not have occurred to him.

Tanner shook his head, tired of dwelling on it. She’d made it clear that she didn’t want to see him again, so that was that. He turned from the window, heading for the kitchen. There, he dumped the remaining food into the garbage and rinsed the dishes before stacking everything on the counter. The chef’s assistant was coming to collect the dishes soon, so he had to stay at the house until then.

Tanner showered, gathered his things, and loaded the rental car before settling in to wait. He chose a spot near the windows again, but as before, the view barely registered. Instead, he continued to replay the evening in his mind and despite himself, checked his phone regularly to see if Kaitlyn had texted.

She hadn’t. When he finally left the house, he couldn’t help feeling a sharp pang of disappointment.

II

As Mitch was finishing his cereal in the kitchen, Kaitlyn nibbled on a piece of toast, her stomach still in knots from the night before.

“Will Casey be here when I get home from school?”

It took a moment for Kaitlyn to register that Mitch had spoken. “I’m not sure,” she finally answered. “She might have something going on after school, but we’ll ask.”

“It’s okay if she’s not,” Mitch said, lifting his bowl so he could drink the milk. “I know what to do.”

Kaitlyn gave up on the toast and rose from the table to dump the remains into the garbage. “If you’re finished with your cereal, bring your bowl to the sink while I track down your sister. We’ll meet you at the Suburban in a minute.”

“She’ll take more than a minute. She always does.”

“Yeah, well, just do what I ask, sweetie.”

Kaitlyn slid the lunch she’d packed earlier into Mitch’s backpack. She held the backpack up as he slipped his arms through the loops. “Can we go to the zoo again on Sunday?” he asked. “And then play Frisbee with Mr. Tanner?”

“I think it’s supposed to be cold this weekend,” she answered. “Why don’t we go to a movie instead?”

“I guess,” Mitch said before trudging toward the door. Kaitlyn collected her things and was about to call for Casey when she saw her daughter trotting down the stairs.

“I’m ready,” Casey announced.

“You need breakfast,” Kaitlyn said. “I’m bringing an apple and a granola bar for you.”

“Okay.” Casey paused near the front door. “How are you doing?”

“I’m fine.” Kaitlyn shrugged, fervently hoping Casey hadn’t heard her crying last night.

Casey’s gaze was piercing. “If you say so.”

III

Jasper opened his eyes slowly, squinting into the cloudy morning sunlight, his head throbbing with every heartbeat. He was wet and freezing and had lain awake shivering most of the night, the soaked weight of his clothing making it difficult to breathe. And now, when his body began to tremble anew, he let out a moan as the pain coursed through him. From a distance, he thought he heard noises before finally realizing that he was the one making the sounds.

In time, the crashing waves of pain began to diminish, bringing a touch of clarity to his thinking. Somehow, he’d survived the night; somehow, he hadn’t drowned in the rain. He noticed his labored breaths coming out in little puffs, dissipating in the cold and gloomy air. His hands were as frigid as fish pulled from the icebox. When he tried to shift so he could make room beneath his jacket for them, the movement of his body was enough to make it feel as though someone had smashed a hammer into his ankle, and he nearly blacked out.

When the dizziness passed, he slowly—carefully—turned his head, looking for Arlo. The dog had wandered off earlier and now was nowhere to be seen. Jasper tried to whistle but didn’t have much strength. His mind began to drift, and he wondered whether anyone would ever find him.

IV

Once he was back in Asheboro, Tanner went for a longer run than usual, pounding the road for nearly an hour and a half. Despite the chilly temperature, his shirt was soaked with sweat by the time he finally returned to the hotel.

After showering, he had a quick lunch before deciding that more fresh air would do him good. At the park, he zipped his jacket and walked beneath a sky filled with white clouds, his mind no clearer than it had been that morning. On impulse, he called Glen, who answered on the second ring.

“How’s it going? Did you find your daddy yet?”

Tanner chuckled, taking a seat on a park bench before asking if he was calling at a good time.

“Your timing is impeccable. The wife and kids are hanging with the neighbors, and I’ve got the back deck all to myself. What’s up?”

Tanner began to talk then, filling him in on his search for his biological father and the accident in the parking lot of Coach’s before finally launching into an account of his surprising week with Kaitlyn. Glen made approving noises as Tanner described Kaitlyn and her family, and the immediate, intense connection they’d formed.

“She sounds great, Tan,” Glen observed. “When do I get to meet her?”

“Hold up, there’s more—” Tanner cautioned. He then went on to tell Glen about the events of the previous night, and the abrupt demise of their relationship. When he finished, Glen cleared his throat, then was silent so long Tanner thought the call had dropped.

“Hello?” Tanner said.

“I’m still here and I get why you called, but frankly, I’m not sure what you want me to say.”

“How about you agree with me and confirm that everything she said to me last night was a little crazy?” Tanner responded, only half-joking. “That I probably got off lucky?”

Glen’s voice sounded uncharacteristically hesitant. “Listen, Tan, I gotta be honest with you. I don’t think she’s wrong to ask why you’re going back to Cameroon. I told you when you were here that I felt you were taking a step backward. You’re one of the few people I know who can do anything he wants, and I’m still not sure why you make some of the decisions you do.”

Tanner closed his eyes, wondering how his call to vent to a buddy about a woman had turned into a referendum on his life choices. “Regardless of whether accepting the job in Cameroon was the right decision, she knew all along I was going to be leaving, so why suddenly make it such a big deal?”

“I hear you,” Glen said, adopting a more conciliatory tone. “But I also get where she’s coming from. Why not stay on and see where it leads?”

Tanner was silent. Across the park, he saw a group of children feeding some ducks at the edge of a pond.

Glen went on. “I guess the question you’ve got to answer for yourself is, What do you want, Tan? To stay on the move forever? And what are you going to do when you get bored with Cameroon, which we both know is going to happen?”

It was the same question Kaitlyn had asked, and Tanner found himself wondering how he’d lost control of this conversation as well. Without waiting for an answer, Glen sighed and went on.

“Look, I know you called for reassurance and I’m sorry if I’m letting you down. Would it make you feel better if I said that I have faith you’ll figure it out? I have no doubt that you’re going to land on your feet and be okay in the long run. But…”

“But what?” Tanner asked, uncertain that he wanted to hear the rest.

“You do realize that Kaitlyn is the only woman you’ve ever called to talk to me about, right?”

“That’s not true.”

“Yes, it is,” Glen said, the words coming out slowly. “You’ve mentioned some of the others to me in passing, but you’ve never really talked about them. And the sound of your voice as you described her is different. It’s clear she already means something to you.”

“She does,” Tanner conceded.

“Then why are you talking to me about it and not her?”

“I told you—she doesn’t want to see me again.”

“So?”

“What do you mean, ‘so’?”

“Asheboro’s a small town.” Glen’s voice was patient but firm. “You’re going to be there two or three more weeks, maybe more. Chances are, unless you choose to hide out at the hotel, you’ll see her again. What you have to figure out first, though, is who you are and what you really want, so you’ll know what to say when you do.”

After hanging up, Tanner felt weary. Despite himself, he wondered what Kaitlyn was doing at that very moment; he wondered what, if anything, she planned to do with the kids on the weekend. He figured Mitch would spend time whittling with the neighbor, like he always did, and later, they’d have a family dinner. He smiled, recalling his evening at their home, and rose from the bench. He started walking again, and a few minutes later, when he noticed an older couple holding hands, he suddenly realized that as thrilling as it had been to make love to Kaitlyn, part of him wished the night before had never happened, so they could simply start over.

V

At the office, Kaitlyn kept herself as busy as possible. In addition to her regularly scheduled patients there were several unscheduled walk-ins, and Kaitlyn managed to work in almost all of them. She cut her lunch hour short and started seeing her afternoon patients. As midafternoon approached—when Mitch would arrive home from school—Kaitlyn’s mental alarm clock went off, and she turned on the ringer on her cellphone. As always, she warned the patient she was seeing in advance that her son would be calling; her patients never minded. Mitch called right on schedule, and after excusing herself, she stepped into the hallway.

“I’m home and school was boring,” he said, preempting her questions. “But, Mom? Guess what? Arlo’s here.”

It took her a second to remember who Arlo was. “You mean Jasper’s dog?”

“Uh-huh. He’s lying in our yard by the tree. Should I go check on him?”

“No,” she said. “Just stay inside for now. If it is Arlo, I’m sure he’ll wander back to Jasper’s when he’s ready.”

“What if he doesn’t leave?” Mitch sounded worried.

“Then we’ll bring him back when I get home from work.”

“Okay,” he said, not hiding his disappointment.

“And remember that Mrs. Simpson will be by in a little while to check on you, but otherwise keep the door locked.”

“I know. You always remind me.”

After they’d said their goodbyes, Kaitlyn returned to the exam room. She continued seeing patients while the day wound down, but in quiet moments—while resolutely trying not to think about Tanner—she found herself wondering why Arlo had come to the house. It was odd. As far as she knew, the dog had never done that before, and she wondered whether Jasper realized the dog had wandered off. Toward the end of her workday and knowing that Jasper didn’t have a cellular phone, she called his landline.

It rang without answer.

VI

An early evening breeze made the tree branches sway, and Jasper watched them through blurry eyes. While the chill had prevented his clothes from drying, the heat from his body had warmed them and the shivering had finally stopped, which had enabled him to sleep on and off during the day. In his waking moments he’d tried to take stock of how he was holding up, thinking, Not well at all. His empty stomach had begun to cramp, and ironically—despite last night’s storm—he was thirsty to the point that his throat now felt like gravel. The swelling around his ankle made it resemble a water balloon, and the slightest movement of his leg was torturous. Even worse, the damp clothing had irritated the psoriasis on his back and chest and arms and legs, making his skin sting as though he were lying on a nest of fire ants.

Somehow, he’d survived the day. But where was Arlo?

The dog hadn’t come back. He’d be hungry, Jasper reasoned, consoling himself with the idea that the dog had wandered off in search of something to eat. He didn’t want to believe the dog had abandoned him, and he hoped Arlo would return soon, if only to share his warmth. Darkness—and colder temperatures—was fast approaching, and he prayed there wouldn’t be another storm. At the same time, it wouldn’t be unprecedented. After all, he mused, the elements had defined almost everything in his life. There was the story about his grandfather and raining fish, which eventually led to the founding of a church in Asheboro, where Jasper had been born and raised. He thought about the downpour that washed out the surrounding roads, allowing his father to buy the land for the cabin. He remembered the hurricane and rain-flooded river that destroyed his house, and the tornado that ruined his business. He could visualize the sudden gusts of wind that carried flaming embers to the roof of their house on that horrible night, when he’d lost those that he loved.

Now, however, in his weakening state, he found himself recalling the storm he’d experienced as a child, and what his father had said to him in the aftermath.

He’d been eight or nine at the time, and his father had taken him fishing at a lake near Wake Forest. When they’d pushed the canoe from the bank, the sky was blue and cloudless, with air so still it seemed as though the earth had stopped spinning. The flies and mosquitoes swarmed, so both he and his father had dressed in long sleeves, but when they got out on the water, the air cleared, giving way to a perfect summer day. For the next few hours, they fished for crappie with minnow rigs while small bobbers floated on the surface. Neither felt the need to speak, and despite the beauty of the day, Jasper saw no other boats on the water. He could remember thinking that it almost felt as though the two of them were alone in the world.

They’d had good luck. He’d snagged two keepers while his father had pulled in three, promising that they’d eat well that week. As they were storing their rigs, a blast of wind suddenly kicked up from nowhere, hard enough to make Jasper nearly lose his balance. At the horizon, he noticed a huge, angry bank of gray clouds surging toward them.

The wind gusted further, the temperature dropped, and within minutes, swells on the lake began to resemble waves that rolled up on the beaches at the coast. Jasper’s father grabbed the paddles with a frown of concern, and the rain began. Jasper tried to paddle in time with his father but wasn’t strong enough to keep up. He could see the strain and tension in his father’s shoulders and arms through the fabric of his shirt as the swells started lapping over the sides of the canoe. His father paddled like a machine, never seeming to tire, even as water rose halfway up Jasper’s shins. Somehow, they made it to shore.

When they pulled the boat onto the bank in the raging downpour, his father stood bent over, drawing heaving breaths, until he finally recovered. Together, they dragged the canoe back to the truck and secured it. In the safety of the truck’s cab, his father blew into his hands before finally speaking.

“Psalm 148:8,” he whispered.

Back at home, Jasper opened his Bible and read, Fire and hail; snow and mist; stormy wind, fulfilling His word.

It didn’t mention rain, but nonetheless Jasper thought he understood what his father had been trying to tell him. All that happened in the world, the good and the bad, offers believers the chance to praise God.

But now, broken and helpless in the Uwharrie, Jasper knew that he’d stopped believing in such things long ago.

VII

As soon as Kaitlyn pulled into the driveway, she saw Arlo lying on his side in the grass. Hopping out of the Suburban, she approached him just as Mitch burst from the front door.

“See! I told you it was Arlo!”

“You’re right,” she said. Squatting down, she stroked the dog’s head, noting that he looked as though he’d been rolling in mud. “What are you doing here, old fella? I called Jasper a little bit ago, but he didn’t answer. Did you run off while you two were walking?”

At her voice, Arlo’s tail began to thump, and he struggled to rise, his rear legs shaking at the effort.

“Can I get him some water before we bring him back?” Mitch asked. “I think he might be thirsty. A little while ago, he was nosing around the hose by the porch.”

“Sure,” she said. “Grab a Tupperware bowl from—”

“I know where it is,” he shouted over his shoulder as he raced back to the house; a minute later he was walking toward her with the bowl the family usually used for popcorn. One day, she thought, I’m hoping my kids actually listen to me.

Mitch set the bowl of water down and Arlo immediately began to lap at it.

“Can I get him a hot dog, too?” Mitch pleaded. “In case he’s hungry?”

“I’m not sure that would be good for him.”

“Why not? I eat hot dogs.”

And they’re not good for you either, she thought. “Yeah. Okay, fine.”

Again, Mitch turned and raced into the house, returning a moment later with not one but two hot dogs. He broke one in half and offered it to Arlo, who gulped it down. As Mitch fed him the other half, Kaitlyn saw Camille pull into the drive and come to a stop behind the Suburban. Casey climbed out of the car as Mitch fed Arlo the second hot dog; a moment later, Camille backed out and was on her way.

“Hey, Mom, hey, Mitch,” Casey said, crossing the lawn. “What’s going on?”

“Arlo came over,” Mitch said. By then, Arlo had moved closer to Mitch and was sniffing his pockets as though looking for more. “He was here when I got home from school.”

“Why?” Casey looked puzzled.

“I don’t know.” Kaitlyn shrugged, thinking again how odd it was.

Kaitlyn had initially planned to walk Arlo home, but given how his legs had trembled when he tried to stand, she reconsidered. He still looked as though he was about to topple over.

“I think we should put him in the back of the Suburban and drive him home, but I don’t think he’ll be able to jump that high.”

“We can lift him,” Mitch suggested.

Which meant, of course, that Kaitlyn would have to lift him. Assessing his barrel-chested figure, she guessed he might weigh seventy or eighty pounds.

“You’re going to need a towel first,” Casey commented. “He’s gross.”

“Okay!” Mitch sprinted to the house for the third time. Kaitlyn barely had time to shout, “Not the nice towels! Use the old ones from the closet!” before Mitch vanished.

“I still don’t understand why he’s here,” Casey said. She was stroking Arlo’s head, the dog’s eyes nearly closed in pleasure.

Arlo slowly approached the bowl of water again. He drank for a long time, seemingly as thirsty as he’d been when Mitch first placed it in front of him. Meanwhile, Mitch burst out of the front door and ran toward them, carrying the clean white towels from his bathroom. A few seconds later, he was rubbing Arlo with a towel, which quickly became streaked with dirt and mud.

Great, Kaitlyn thought.

“Okay, Mom,” Mitch said. “I think he’s clean enough to put in the back now.”

Not even close, Kaitlyn knew, but she nonetheless walked to the back of the Suburban and opened the lift. She called to Arlo, who slowly ambled toward her. He was moving, she thought, like he was sore.

At the rear of the Suburban, Kaitlyn was trying to figure out the best way to lift the dog into the back when Casey stepped forward and simply scooped him up around the legs and gently placed him in the back. Arlo looked momentarily disconcerted before he wagged his tail. Kaitlyn stared at Casey.

“Cheerleading, Mom,” Casey explained with a shrug. “I lift people at every practice, remember? It’s not just about looking cute in the uniform.”

“Of course,” Kaitlyn said.

Mitch climbed into the second-row seats and Casey got behind the wheel. “I can drive,” she said. “And I can help with Arlo getting down.”

They made the short trip to Jasper’s cabin, but a single glance was enough to let Kaitlyn know that he wasn’t home, which explained the unanswered phone call. His truck was gone and the house was dark, but by then, Casey had already climbed out to open the lift and lowered Arlo to the ground. Instead of making for the porch, Arlo stayed in place, tail wagging.

“It doesn’t look like he’s here,” Mitch said, squinting through his glasses.

“I’ll check and make sure,” Kaitlyn said.

She walked up the steps to the door and knocked, not expecting an answer, and wondered where Jasper could have gone. As far as she knew, he brought Arlo everywhere with him. She debated whether to check if the front door was locked but decided that it was too presumptuous before walking back to the Suburban.

“Not home?” Casey asked.

“I guess not,” Kaitlyn answered. “But I’m sure he’ll be back soon.”

“What about Arlo?” Mitch piped up. “Are we just going to leave him?”

“We can’t keep him at our house, sweetie. He’s Mr. Jasper’s dog.”

“What if he gets thirsty again?”

“He’ll be okay,” Kaitlyn assured him. “C’mon. Let’s go home.”

As they drove away, Arlo stood in the yard, watching them.

On the short ride back, none of them said anything. Flummoxed, Kaitlyn decided she’d check on Jasper first thing in the morning.

Just in case.

VIII

Tanner sat at the bar with a foamy IPA in front of him. It was Friday night, and there was a good-sized crowd already celebrating the beginning of the weekend. Despite the noise, he was able to catch snippets of surrounding conversations, none of which seemed very interesting. Seated a few stools away was a group of three women in their late thirties, dressed for a night on the town. Every now and then he caught one or another glancing in his direction, sometimes offering a smile before looking away, other times trying to hold his gaze. Though he had no way of knowing, they had the look of single women out for a good time, relaxed and open to a low-stakes approach. In a prior life, he would likely have wandered over and struck up a conversation before finally zeroing in on his favorite. They’d chat and flirt and sometime later, he’d suggest that they find someplace quieter, so they could get to know each other better. And after that? The remainder of the evening would take its natural course.

But he wasn’t in the mood. It had been a mistake to come here, he thought. Reminders of his evening here with Kaitlyn were everywhere. It seemed inconceivable that it had only been six days since they’d been introduced to each other; he felt as though they’d known each other far longer than that. He could still see the gleam in her eye as she spoke about Casey and Mitch, and even on that first evening together he had sensed a kindness and resilience about her that attracted him in a way he’d seldom experienced before.

That feeling had only grown stronger the more they’d gotten to know each other, and he couldn’t help but think that while her life was independent, his nomadic existence, populated by the ghosts of so many lost friends and relationships, felt insubstantialin comparison. Staring into his glass, he wondered if—subconsciously—he’d been drawn to Kaitlyn partly because she presented the opportunity to evolve, but if that was true, it also meant there was part of him endlessly intent on self-sabotage.

He took another drink and from the corner of his eye saw that one of the three women was watching him again. Looking away, he attempted to conjure images of his last stay in Cameroon instead, trying to remind himself of the reasons he’d agreed to go back. While I liked it the last time had seemed like a good enough answer, he suspected that both Kaitlyn and Glen had been correct in characterizing it as yet another step in the endless drifting, not something he’d sought out for a particular reason or purpose.

But if he didn’t go, then what?

He didn’t know. Despite his desire to live a life of meaning, his decisions always seemed to reflect the conviction that his real life was going to be found elsewhere, just beyond the next horizon.

Kaitlyn, he knew, embraced a different philosophy. In words and in actions, she subscribed to the notion that life is less about the what and where than about the who . She’d claim that purpose could be found in caring intimately for those she loved, and for others in need, in a place that felt like home. She had made sense of her life in a way that Tanner never had, and he had a feeling there was something he could still learn from her.

But that wouldn’t happen now. Like sand slipping through her fingers, she’d released him, and deep down, he knew his response would be instinctual. He’d leave Asheboro and move on yet again.

IX

Night had come, and Jasper was in agony. He couldn’t stop shivering, and every spasm hurt horribly. His skin, his ankle, his knee, his back, and his head, pounding and stabbing every time his body trembled. He cried without tears, for his body was as dry as a mummy’s.

He tried to will the pain away by staring at the sky. It radiated an ethereal glow as moonlight dispersed through the clouds. Once, long ago, he and his father had stared at a similar sky, and Jasper imagined that it was how heaven might have looked. God light, his father had called it, and Jasper remembered thinking it was proof that God would always be with him.

But God had turned His back, and when Jasper shivered again, his vision suddenly narrowed. The pain glowed red and hot, like the tip of a fireplace poker. He tried to remind himself that he’d experienced similar pain before, in the aftermath of his burns, but he’d been younger and stronger back then. He was no longer the man he used to be. The next time he shivered, his eyes rolled up in his head and he faded out, his mind as dark as the night itself.

X

Lost in a dream, Kaitlyn woke to the sensation of someone shaking her. When she opened her eyes, the remnants of the dream dissipated as she focused on her son. Early-morning light was streaming through the windows.

“Mom,” she heard him saying. “Are you awake?”

“I am now,” she muttered. “What time is it?”

“I don’t know,” Mitch said. “But you’ve got to get up.”

She rubbed her face before glancing at the clock. It was half past six and she struggled to sit up.

“What’s going on? Why are you awake so early on a Saturday?”

“I was worried about Arlo and when I went outside, he was on our porch.”

“He’s here again?”

Mitch nodded. “Can I bring him some water?”

She swung her legs over the side of the bed and slid her feet into her slippers. “Let’s go check on him. And yes, you can get water for him, but you’re going to need shoes and a jacket first.”

He went off toward his room while she wrapped herself in a robe and staggered down the stairs to the front door. Because the morning sky was just beginning to brighten, she turned on the porch light before opening the door. Sure enough, Arlo was curled in a ball there. When he saw her, he struggled to stand. When she stroked his head, his fur was cold, as if he’d been outside for hours.

Or all night?

By then, Mitch had emerged from the house, carrying the water bowl. She felt a pit of worry in her stomach as he set it down. They watched Arlo begin to drink. “Go ahead and get him some hot dogs.”

“Two?”

“Grab four,” she said.

When Mitch returned with the hot dogs, he broke them in half and Arlo gobbled them down. Mitch looked up at her. “Why did he come back, Mom?”

“I don’t know.”

“Is Mr. Jasper okay?”

Again, she felt the pit in her stomach. “I’m sure he’s fine, sweetie.”

“Can we go check on him?” Mitch fixed her with an anxious look, his eyes enormous in his small face.

“I will in a little bit. It’s still early.”

“What do we do with Arlo?”

“Can you find the old blankets at the bottom of the linen closet? We’ll make a little bed for him on the porch.”

“Okay,” he answered, scurrying back into the house. When he returned with the blankets, Kaitlyn made up the bed. Arlo curled up in it, looking content.

“I’m going to go shower,” she informed Mitch. “If you want, you can sit with him out here.”

“Okay.”

On her way to her room, Kaitlyn noticed that Casey’s door was closed. Peeking in, she was surprised to see Casey’s sleeping form under her rumpled bedcovers. Hadn’t she said she’d be spending the night at Camille’s?

The day was bright and sunny by the time she finished getting ready, and after collecting her keys and her purse, she joined Mitch on the porch.

“Stay here with Arlo,” she said. “I’m going to run over to Mr. Jasper’s.”

Mitch nodded, and Kaitlyn repeated the trip she’d made the night before. Again, she noticed the absence of his truck and the darkened interior of the house; this time, it looked strangely abandoned.

She got out of the SUV and followed the dirt walkway to the porch. She knocked, waited, then knocked again. There was no answer, nor could she hear any sounds coming from within the house. This time she reached for the doorknob, assuming it would be locked, but it turned easily in her hand. Cracking the door open, she poked her head in.

“Jasper?” she called out. “Hello? Are you here? It’s me, Dr. Cooper!”

No one answered, and stepping inside, she glanced around, taking in the wood-plank walls and worn but comfortable furniture in the small living room. The air seemed slightly stale, though she caught no odor of decay. That’s what she’d been worried about, she suddenly realized—that Jasper had passed away—but her relief was short-lived. None of this felt right to her. She took a few minutes to look around, peeking into both bedrooms and the bathroom before heading to the kitchen. In the sink, she saw a few dirty dishes; they looked as if he’d set them there with the intention of washing them after he returned.

Strange.

As she left the cabin, she was startled by the distant crack of gunfire. She remembered that one of her patients had mentioned he’d be hunting turkeys this weekend with his sons. A moment later, she heard another shot, which seemed closer than the last. She hurried back to the SUV. Over the years, she’d treated a few people who’d been in hunting accidents, and she’d never been a fan of guns; they scared her. It wasn’t until she was in the SUV that she let out a breath she hadn’t known she’d been holding.

She glanced over her shoulder at the front door one last time. It was one thing for Jasper not to be home this morning—maybe he was having breakfast at a diner, or something—but Arlo’s appearance at the house again left her wondering exactly how long he’d been gone.

More than that, she began to wonder what, if anything, she should do.

XI

Jasper heard a distant crack, but in his delirium, it wasn’t until he heard a second one that he was finally able to order his thoughts. His mind felt slow and boggy, and when he opened his eyes the world was blurry around him.

Gunfire, he thought.

He wondered how far away the hunters had been; he wondered whether someone would eventually spot his truck. He wondered if they would linger in the area to investigate and perhaps even find his body. Death, he knew, was coming for him, for despite the blurriness, he could already make out a shadowy figure at the edge of his vision.

He’d seen the shadowy figure once before, a long time ago. Mary was five years old when she woke one morning with a fever, headache, and sore throat. A flu had been going around, and Audrey sat with her the entire day. She wiped Mary’s forehead with a cool cloth; she dosed her with Tylenol every few hours, but Mary’s fever continued to rise, and she soaked her sheets in sweat. By the following morning, she’d begun to wheeze, and growing fearful, Jasper scooped her into his arms and carried her to his truck while Audrey rushed to the neighbors’ house. She asked them to watch the other children while they raced Mary to the emergency room in Greensboro.

Because she was struggling to breathe, Mary was admitted right away. It took little time for the physician to diagnose a severe case of epiglottitis. His face was grim as he told them that Mary was being transferred to the intensive care unit, careful to make no promises.

Jasper held a tearful Audrey before she went home to take care of the other children. He stayed at the hospital the rest of the day and into the evening, either in the ICU or in the waiting room two floors below his daughter. Sometime after midnight, and overwhelmed with a sense of powerlessness, Jasper knelt down and clasped his hands in prayer.

He had been praying for more than an hour when he felt as if his spirit was suddenly lifted from his body. All at once, he was no longer separated from his daughter. He was standing beside her in the ICU and listening to her excruciating wheezes as she fought to breathe. He saw the gray, ghostlike color of her skin, and heard the steady beeping of machines. He could see a blond nurse with a red hair clip tending to an elderly man nearby, and it was then that he became aware of another presence in the room.

In a dark corner, visible as if through a dirty pane of glass, was the faint outline of a figure. Jasper squinted, sensing the dark void within its shape, and when the figure slowly began to move, stretching toward his daughter, Jasper suddenly opened his eyes in the waiting room and scrambled to his feet. He pushed through a set of double doors and started running down the hospital corridor, flying past startled nurses. He heard them calling for him to stop but ignored them. He knew in the depths of his soul that his daughter was in danger.

Somehow, as though God Himself were guiding him, he found the stairs and bounded up them, using the handrails to sling himself upward even faster. He reached the pediatric ICU floor and rushed down the hallway. A moment later, he burst into the ICU. The blond nurse with the red hair clip, who was still at the bedside of the elderly man, turned with a startled scream.

Jasper stared at the blackened shadow now enveloping his daughter and realized that Mary could no longer breathe. Her body was arching, and a moment later, one of the machines began to sound a shrill alarm.

By then, a doctor had reached her room in Jasper’s wake and immediately rushed toward Mary. Other nurses followed, and as Jasper backed away, he heard the din of shouted orders. He watched as one of the nurses started CPR; another nurse placed a bag over Mary’s face and began to pump. Still another tried to hold Mary down as the physician readied a tube, and a moment later, he watched it being forced down Mary’s throat.

Because her throat was so swollen, it took an agonizing length of time to reach its intended position. But when the doctor finally stood upright and drew a long, relieved breath, Jasper realized that the shadow over his daughter had begun to fade. The blackness quickly dissolved to gray before vanishing completely. When the physician turned to look at him, his expression stern, Jasper bowed his head, refusing to meet his eyes. Instead, he left the room without a word and eventually collapsed again in a chair in the waiting room.

He didn’t know then that Mary’s fever would break in the morning. He didn’t know that the breathing tube would be removed soon after that, or that in only four days, Mary would be back in school. All he knew was that his daughter had been in mortal danger and if the doctor and extra nurses had not arrived at the ICU at that exact moment, his daughter would not have survived. Death, in the form of a shadowed figure, had come forher.

And now, as he lay on the ground in the Uwharrie, Jasper stared at the familiar shadowy darkness in the distance. But this time, once it began to move toward him, he knew there would be nothing he could do to stop it.

XII

On the way home from Jasper’s, still preoccupied and uneasy, Kaitlyn swung by the grocery store and bought the makings for lasagna, and some fresh cinnamon rolls, along with a couple of cans of dog food.

At home, she and Mitch ate the rolls for breakfast. Then they brought Arlo inside, gave him a bath, and dried him off. She scooped the dog food into a bowl and watched as Arlo wolfed it down. He was also moving better and when he finished, Mitch asked if he could play with Arlo outside. She nodded after reminding him to put on his jacket.

She wondered again what she should do before finally reaching for the phone. Because it wasn’t an emergency, she called the police station and briefly described what was going on before being transferred to a detective. Again, she went through all that she knew and though the detective on the other end was sympathetic, he admitted that aside from swinging by Jasper’s house, there was little else he could do.

Kaitlyn expelled a sigh, knowing that wasn’t enough. “Have there been any accidents reported?”

She heard the man shuffle some papers on his desk. “That’ll take some time to figure out. I’d have to contact the Highway Patrol and…”

“Can you please? I’m his physician and he’s dealing with some medical conditions. He might be in danger.”

By this point she could tell the detective was eager to get off the phone. “I’ll get back to you. Is there a number where I can reach you?”

She gave him her number. Forty minutes later, he called back. “Nothing,” he reported. “No accidents involving his truck.”

She massaged her forehead. “Well…what about a Senior Alert or whatever they call it?” she asked, referring to a system similar to AMBER Alert for abducted children, one that would disseminate necessary information to electronic highway signs as well as individual phones.

“Unless we know for sure that he’s missing or foul play is involved,” the detective explained, “he doesn’t meet the criteria. You said yourself that his truck isn’t there and the lights in the house aren’t on. He probably went to visit someone.”

“Jasper wouldn’t have left his dog,” Kaitlyn insisted. “They go everywhere together.”

“Maybe he left the dog with a neighbor and the dog decided to run off. I know it’s not what you want to hear, but objectively speaking, it’s not even clear that he’s missing. And until forty-eight hours have passed, there’s not much we can do.”

Kaitlyn made a frustrated noise. “If you can’t do anything, what should I do?”

“If I were you, I’d start by contacting neighbors, friends, family. Maybe someone will know where he went. And I hate to suggest that something bad did happen to him, but you might consider calling the hospitals, too.”

“What if I contacted the sheriff?”

“You’re likely going to get the same answer I just gave you. Forty-eight hours. But if he’s still missing tomorrow, come in and I’ll take a report,” he promised. “At the very least, I’ll put out an APB on his truck.”

It still didn’t feel like enough, and after hanging up, Kaitlyn tried to stifle her irritation. At the same time, she was struck by how little she actually knew about Jasper. While she could recite his medical history—and though she knew he’d lost his wife and children years ago—it occurred to her that she had no idea how he generally spent his days. Nor, as far as she could recall, had he mentioned to her any neighbors, friends, or family.

In the end, she took the detective’s advice and called all the hospitals in the area, as far away as Winston-Salem and Durham, again without luck. After that, in an effort to distract herself, she spent the next few hours tidying up the house and doing laundry before heading into the kitchen. Casey eventually wandered downstairs, her hair askew and eyes puffy, and popped one of the cinnamon rolls into the microwave.

“I thought you were going to spend the night at Camille’s.”

Casey leaned against the counter. “She wasn’t feeling well, so after the party, I had her drop me off.”

“Is she okay?”

“She’s fine. She said it was a migraine, but I think she just wanted to call it a night. Steven was being a jerk.”

No surprise there, Kaitlyn thought. “How was the party?”

“The usual,” Casey said with a shrug. “Drugs, casual sex, booze, stripping, gambling.”

“Casey…”

“It was freezing,” she said. “Like I told you, his parents were there so we mainly hung out in the backyard stomping our feet and wondering whether icicles would form on our noses while everyone pretended to have a great time.” She pulled the cinnamon roll from the microwave and glanced out the window. “Wait—is that Arlo again?”

“He was here when we woke up.”

“That’s so weird,” she commented. “Do you think something happened to Mr. Jasper?”

“I don’t know, sweetie.” Kaitlyn went over the conversation she’d had with the detective.

“So what are you going to do?”

“Mitch is supposed to carve with him later and if he’s not back by then, I guess I’ll try again to get the police to do something, even though it hasn’t been forty-eight hours.”

“Like what?”

Kaitlyn said nothing, if only because she wasn’t sure what they actually could do, other than put out the APB. Even if she somehow got them to organize volunteers and initiate a search, she doubted the police would know where to begin.

XIII

His legs still sore from the day before, Tanner jogged slowly to the park before stretching and doing push-ups, pull-ups, and sit-ups until his muscles failed. Later at the diner, he had eggs and pancakes while he perused the news on his iPad. He took his time finishing his coffee, but even then, he found himself leaving the diner before eleven with no idea what to do with the rest of his day.

He set off to stroll the downtown streets. When he came across a bench, he stopped and pulled out his phone to call Glen again.

When his friend answered, he said, “I’ve been thinking a lot about our conversation. I wanted to ask you a question.”

“Go ahead.”

“How did you know Molly was the one? I mean, you hadn’t known her that long before you two eloped, right?”

“Seven weeks,” Glen confirmed. “But I think I knew by the second date that I was going to marry her.”

“What was it about her that made you so certain?”

“You know her. She’s smart and made me laugh and I thought she was beautiful, but I’d met women like that before. With Molly, though, there was something different about the way I felt when I was with her and I just knew. I know you’re looking for a rational explanation, but sometimes, there isn’t any. Sometimes, it’s just a gut feeling. But when I’m honest with myself, I also think I got lucky.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because love is more than just an emotion. It’s about sharing a life, and it wasn’t until after we were married that I truly realized how much we had in common. We have the same values, morals, we’re both Catholic. We have the same views about parenting, spending now versus saving for retirement, which set of parents to visit on the holidays, even what we like to do on the weekends. I’ve come to think that the more you agree about those kinds of things, the more you feel like a team, like you’re in it together. And, with all that said, of course, it’s never easy. Relationships take work.”

“Not for you and Molly.”

“Are you kidding?” Glen said with a laugh. “It’s a ton of work, on both our parts. We’ve argued. We’ve screamed at each other. Slammed doors, slept in separate bedrooms. We’ve even come close to separating at times.”

“Seriously?” Tanner shook his head in disbelief.

“Of course. It never reached the point where one of us left, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t think about it. And I know for a fact she thought about it, too. All relationships go up and down but, in the end, both of us were committed to making things work, so we did.”

Tanner hung up the phone after a few more minutes, his mind churning. Turning back toward his hotel, he found himself thinking through these things in terms of Kaitlyn—at least, what he knew of her from the short time they’d known each other. But more than that, he thought about how he’d felt whenever he was with her. He thought about the fact that she felt…right.

XIV

When it was time for Mitch to meet Jasper at the gazebo, Kaitlyn already knew he wouldn’t be there. She’d been peeking through the window on and off for the previous twenty minutes hoping to see him but unsurprised that she hadn’t. When Mitch asked if they could check the cabin anyway, she nodded. Arlo trailed behind them.

Even from a distance, it was obvious that Jasper still hadn’t returned. No truck, no lights, and again, the cabin appeared deserted. Nonetheless she went inside for a quick look around, satisfied that nothing had changed since her earlier visit.

From the vantage point of the porch, she noticed that Arlo had wandered to the edge of the property and was gazing into the Uwharrie.

“What’s Arlo doing?”

“I don’t know,” Mitch answered.

“Go get him so we can bring him back to our place.”

As she watched Mitch run off toward the dog, she decided she’d visit the police station and demand that a missing person report be filed immediately, even if the detective didn’t agree. As Mitch drew nearer, however, the dog started trotting into the Uwharrie. When Mitch made to follow, Kaitlyn—suddenly remembering the gunfire she’d heard earlier—hurried down the steps. “Mitch! Stop!” she shouted, slightly panicked.

Mitch came to a halt and looked back at her. “But he’s running away!”

She strode quickly toward him. “I don’t want you going into the forest. It’s dangerous, sweetie! There are hunters out there.”

“What about Arlo?” Mitch cried.

“I’m sure he goes into the forest all the time,” she assured him, wondering if it was true. “He’ll be okay. And if he wants to come back, he knows where to find us.”

Because Mitch didn’t look convinced, they called for the dog for a few minutes, but Arlo ignored them. Afterward, they walked back to the house, where Kaitlyn collected her purse and keys. She ended up spending more than an hour at the police station, filing a report. While it took some persuasion, she also convinced the detective to put out the APB immediately.

Back at home, she was making lasagna when Casey appeared.

“It smells great in here,” she said. “When’s dinner going to be ready?”

“Not long. Maybe an hour? Are you going out again tonight?”

“Of course,” Casey answered. “But not until later. You don’t care if I use the Suburban, do you?”

“No, go ahead. I won’t need it tonight.”

“How did it go with the police?”

Kaitlyn brought Casey up to speed.

“Mitch is really worried about him, Mom. And Arlo. He cried when we were talking.”

“I’m worried, too,” Kaitlyn admitted.

“Mitch also told me that he thinks Mr. Jasper might be lost in the forest. He thinks that’s the reason Arlo went in there. And it explains why Arlo was so dirty.”

Kaitlyn stopped layering the cheese in the dish. “Why would Jasper be in the forest?”

“Mitch said he was going to look for mushrooms. He also said he might have been trying to find the white deer.”

Kaitlyn recalled Jasper mentioning the white deer to her as well. But…

“How does that explain his missing truck?”

“He could have taken his truck into the forest, couldn’t he?” Casey speculated.

“Maybe,” Kaitlyn said.

“Will the police search for him there? Or the park rangers, or whatever they’re called?”

“The police aren’t going to do anything until tomorrow at the earliest, and as far as the Uwharrie, I’m guessing whoever’s in charge there will say the same thing. Especially since we don’t know for sure he’s even in the forest.”

“Then we should go look for him,” Casey said with conviction, crossing her arms.

“It’s hunting season,” Kaitlyn warned. “I don’t want either you or Mitch in the forest.”

Casey studied her in silence, a dubious look on her face.

XV

Jasper thought he felt something soft and moist pushing at his face. He cracked open an eye, recognizing his dog.

“Arlo,” he croaked. “Where’ve you been?”

In his mind, the words were clear, but he suspected they’d come out as a garbled mess before he faded again into unconsciousness.

When he woke again, Arlo was gone.

XVI

Tanner went to dinner at a local steak house. All around him were couples and friends, the laughter and the low murmur of relaxed conversation. It conjured up images of a family dinner on the other side of town to which he hadn’t been invited.

It bothered him more than he’d imagined it would, and he found himself recalling the memory of sneaking out of bed late at night and seeing his grandmother and grandfather dancing in the living room. He was a little kid at the time, but he could remember the way the two of them were looking at each other. There was love there, for sure, but also a familiarity, an unshakable trust that somehow comforted him as he crept back to his bed.

Kaitlyn hadn’t gazed at him the way his grandparents had stared at each other that night. While she’d been attracted to him, she hadn’t given herself over to him fully, he knew. She’d been holding back since the moment they met, as though she knew in advance that he would eventually hurt her.

And of course, he’d done exactly that, and the realization left him feeling empty in a way he’d never experienced before.

XVII

Kaitlyn was rinsing the used dinner dishes when she heard Mitch call out to her from the living room.

“Arlo’s back!”

“I’m sorry.” Kaitlyn turned off the faucet. “What’s that?”

“He said ‘Arlo’s back,’?” Casey repeated, heading toward the door. In the time since they’d finished dinner, she’d changed her clothes, put on makeup, and done her hair, looking more like a young adult than a teenager. Kaitlyn dried her hands while Casey opened the door, Mitch crowding beside her.

“Can we let him in?” Mitch pleaded.

“Yes,” Kaitlyn said. “I’ll get him some food and water.”

Arlo followed the kids into the house as though he owned it; meanwhile Kaitlyn opened a can of dog food and scooped it into a bowl. Arlo must have smelled it because he trotted into the kitchen with surprising speed. Casey followed, her expression telegraphing Now what are we going to do, Mom? You and I both know Jasper is in trouble.

Kaitlyn stayed silent, casting about for an adequate answer.

XVIII

Tanner had just paid the bill when his phone vibrated. He frowned as he squinted down at the text, hesitating before answering. A moment later, a second text followed. Tanner slipped on his jacket and started for his rental car.

Turning into the hotel parking lot, he immediately spotted the SUV parked near the entrance and the figure leaning against it, arms crossed. He slowed the rental and pulled into the adjacent space before getting out, curious.

“Hey, Casey,” he said cautiously. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she said, standing up straight as he shut the door of his car. “Thanks for agreeing to meet me. My mom doesn’t know I’m here by the way, but I think we might need your help.”

Tanner’s brows knitted together. “What’s going on?”

“Our neighbor Jasper is missing. The old man who carves with Mitch.” She went on, explaining everything. When she finished, Tanner looked out over the parking lot, processing what she’d told him. After a moment, he turned back to her, his gaze questioning.

“And you’re asking me to go look for him in the Uwharrie?”

“Yes,” she said simply. “Like I told you, my mom won’t let us go look for him because of all the hunters.”

Tanner recalled a detail from his Fort Bragg days. “I’m pretty sure hunting’s not allowed on Sunday mornings,” he said, “so if I’m not mistaken, tomorrow morning should be safe.”

“Oh,” Casey said. “I didn’t know that. I don’t think my mom does either.” She chewed on that for a moment. “Do you think you’d be willing to look for him anyway? My mom probably still won’t let us go and you’d be better at it because of all your army training and stuff.”

He considered it. Then: “Is Arlo still at your house?” he asked.

“As far as I know. Why?”

“Can you be up early tomorrow? Around six-thirty? So I can grab Arlo before I go?”

“Yeah, I can be up by then,” Casey answered, looking relieved. “And thanks. I know it’ll make Mitch feel a lot better.” She hesitated. “One more thing—if you do happen to find him, Mr. Jasper looks kinda…scary. Especially the first time you see him. He was in a bad fire.”

When Tanner nodded, Casey rounded back to the driver’s-side door of the SUV and pulled it open before arching an eyebrow at him. “It’s really too bad, though.”

“What is?”

“That you messed up with my mom. I was just beginning to like you.”

Speechless, he took a step back and watched as Casey reversed the SUV before pulling away toward the main road. Once she was gone, he slowly got back into his rental car. Since he’d be heading into the woods—hunters or not—there were a few things he was going to need, and he hoped Walmart was still open.