10. Gabby
10
Gabby
“ L adies, I need your help.” I intently make eye contact with Michelle and Aly, who are sitting across from me at our booth at The Local. With its beachy theme and extensive menu, it’s one of our favorite places to eat. Plus, for some reason, it always smells like funnel cake.
We try to have a girls’ night at least once a month. It’s something I always look forward to, but the guys hate it. Alex and Carter typically end up pouting that they have to find their own food and Jax has gotten extra overprotective of Aly now that she’s pregnant. I swear, that man would put her in bubble wrap if he could. Not that she needs it; the girl can hold her own.
“What’s wrong?” Aly asks with a look of concern. She brushes back a lock of her dirty-blond hair. All three of us look so vastly different from one another. Alex likes to refer to Michelle and me as fun-sized since we’re both a smidge over five feet, while Aly towers over us at five eight. Michelle and Aly have light hair and blue eyes, while I’m the opposite with dark curly hair and brown eyes. Even our body types are all over the place. Michelle is the petite one, Aly is the athletic one, and me? I have curves for days.
“I need to talk to you about Alex.”
“Ugh,” Michelle groans. “Did he propose to you with an onion ring again?”
“No, the last time was with one of those plastic rings that come off a water bottle cap.”
“Well, at least that’s more durable.” Aly takes a sip of her chocolate milkshake and throws her head back. “My God, that’s the best thing I’ve ever tasted.”
“Didn’t you just say the same thing about the nachos?” Michelle points a french fry at Aly.
“I can’t help it. My taste buds are heightened or something. I’m telling you, food tastes amazing when you’re pregnant.”
“I’ll take your word for it.” Michelle looks back at me. “Let’s get back to the task at hand. What did Alex do this time?”
“He didn’t do anything specifically, but we were doing laundry at the same time the other day and I found this on the floor near the washing machine he was using.” I pull out a crumpled piece of paper. “At first, I thought it was just a piece of garbage, but when I went to throw it out, I noticed my name written on it. It must’ve fallen out of his pocket.”
Aly snatches the paper out of my hand. “‘Operation Ms. to Mrs.,’” she reads. “Oh boy, he’s upping his game.”
“That looks like Carter’s handwriting.” Michelle looks over Aly’s shoulder. “If that’s the case, he’s called in reinforcements.”
“Ugh!” I groan, sinking low into my seat. “This can’t happen.”
“Why not?” Michelle asks while studying the list. “I mean, yeah, he’s goofy and all, but that’s just part of his charm. Alex is such a wonderful guy, not to mention good-looking. Also, why don’t you like flowers?”
“It’s just not my thing.” I yank the paper back out of Aly’s hands.
“I think it’s great!” Aly ignores my actions and swirls the straw around in her milkshake. “I like that Alex has a plan. It reminds me of my life list and…” A blank expression washes over her face. “I can’t remember what else I was going to say.”
“That baby brain is hitting you hard, isn’t it?”
“The other day Jax asked me when I was going to start using big words again.” She frowns. “And that was before he found my purse in the fridge.”
“So what are you going to do?” Michelle asks.
“I’m not sure.” I sit up a little straighter. “But I know I need to prove to him that I’m not the one for him.”
My friends share a sad look.
“What?”
“Why are you so hard-set on not dating Alex?” Michelle asks gently.
“We’ve both kind of wondered why you push him away,” Aly adds. “Is it because of his dating history? I’ve heard rumors, but I haven’t seen him with anyone since you moved here.”
“He’s very well-known at the hospital.” I dramatically roll my eyes, hoping to convince my friends. I know he’s had flings with a few of the nurses. I heard a group of them talking about him once when he brought in a patient while working as a paramedic. The general consensus is that while Alex is a huge lover of women, he’s respectful and always clear that there are no strings attached.
“I wouldn’t be too concerned about that.” Aly dips a fry into some honey mustard. “If Jax can mend his playboy ways, I have no doubt Alex can too. ”
“I get what you’re saying, but I can’t be with him. It’s just… I can’t explain it. But he needs to let this go. To let me go. Will you help?”
“If this is what you really want, we’ll support you,” Michelle says. “But I’m not sure what we can do to help.”
“I’ve been thinking about this. I need to figure out ways to make me unattractive to him.”
“That’s going to be hard.” Aly snorts. “You’re gorgeous!”
“Thanks.” My cheeks heat. “What are some things that have immediately turned you off to someone?”
The girls sit quietly for a moment until Aly pipes up. “I once went on a date with a guy who pronounced the ‘L’ in salmon. That did it for me.”
“Eww.” Michelle cringes. “I don’t have much dating experience, but—oh!” She does a little jump in her seat. “I know he doesn’t like the smell of rosemary. I was cooking one day and he asked why I was using a citronella candle indoors.”
“Huh? Rosemary doesn’t smell like citronella.” I scrunch up my nose and wonder if I ever used that particular spice in my food.
“Everyone can taste and smell differently.” Aly shrugs. “Like the rest of you think cilantro tastes like mint, but Jax and I think it tastes like soap.”
“Good point.” I nod.
“You could always tell him that you decided to go vegetarian. You know how much that man likes to eat meat,” Michelle suggests.
“That would break him!” Aly chuckles. “I tried to establish Meatless Monday and Jax lost his mind.” She drops her voice, attempting to sound like her husband. “Do I look like a bunny to you?”
“Well, I guess this is a start.” I pick at my burger. I don’t have much of an appetite right now. The thought of pushing Alex away makes me queasy, but I need to protect my heart. That night when we counted the stars, I let myself imagine what it would be like to be in a relationship with him. I could picture having a little place of our own where we could cook meals together and relax by a cozy fireplace after a long day of work. We could take vacations to someplace tropical during the colder months to help chase away the winter blues. It would be so much fun to lie next to him on a sandy beach with tropical drinks in our hands.
It’s incredibly easy to envision a life with Alex because we work so well together. Yet it’s also easy to envision losing him. Picture a solemn face knocking on my door in the middle of the night and telling me he succumbed to a fire. I have no doubt he would use his dying breath to save a stranger. That’s just the kind of man he is. It’s also why I can’t fully give my heart to him. I used all my strength rebuilding my life the last time. I’m not strong enough to go through something like that again.
“Earth to Gabby.” Aly waves her hand in front of me. “Where’d you go?”
To a place that can only exist in my dreams.
“Oh, nowhere.” I try to act casual and realize it’s time for a subject change. If we continue to discuss Alex, I know the girls will innocently press for more information, and doing so will force me to relive my worst nightmare. I don’t have the strength for that, so instead, I turn my attention to Aly. “Have you chosen a theme for the baby’s nursery yet?”
“We’re thinking of going with a nautical theme.” Aly looks radiant as she takes the bait with ease. “You know, with Jax’s history in the Navy, it just feels right. I found some bedding with little anchors on it.” She claps her hands together. “It’s so cute.”
As Aly continues to go over the décor of baby J.J.’s room, I can’t help but feel eyes on me. I take a risk and glance over at Michelle, who’s silently studying me. Aly is too distracted with baby on the brain to realize the motive behind my subject change, but it doesn’t get past the future lawyer.
My heart sinks at the thought of withholding my past from them. I never had friends like this before and didn’t plan on building close relationships with anyone. Yet it happened anyway. I swear, there’s something magical about this town, and I’m not sure what to do about it.