Country Road Romance

Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

A s Charlie’s breathing grew slower and slower with sleep, Jared tried to get his body to do the same. No matter how hard he tried, though, it refused to cooperate. He simply couldn’t unwind enough–and his thoughts wouldn’t slow down enough–for him to get to sleep.

Figures, he thought. I finally get some of the best sex that I’ve had in…well, probably ever…and then I can’t sleep.

The reason wasn’t really that complicated. The sex with Charlie might have been mind-blowing, but his mentioning of dating had forced Jared to really think about what it was that they were doing. Were they, in fact, dating? What would that even look like, considering their different circumstances? This wasn’t a fairy tale or a rom-com, after all. There were very real consequences and material conditions that had to be taken into account. They couldn’t just coast along on vibes and good wishes and hope that everything would work out okay in the end. That just wasn’t how real life worked.

Was it?

He fought down the urge to toss and turn like he usually would. He really did enjoy the closeness to Charlie. There was a way that their bodies meshed together that he didn’t think he’d ever experienced with another person. At the same time as it made him feel complete and whole, however, it also frightened him. When you got close to someone like that, it was only a matter of time before they found a way to hurt you.

Jared’s breaths were starting to come faster and faster, and his thoughts were starting to race so much he knew he was going to have a full-on anxiety attack if he didn’t calm down.

Take deep breaths, Jared. Deep breaths.

He finally managed to get himself back under control, and he could think clearly again.

It was better to just enjoy what they had and let it go at that. After this weekend they would each go their separate ways, back to their regular lives. They could remember this as a particularly nice interlude in both of their lives, a rare opportunity to really connect with someone out of their social circles.

See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?

It hurt a little to admit that all of this was just going to be temporary, but Jared had always tried to live life as it was rather than what he wanted it to be, and he took a perverse sort of comfort from hurting his own feelings like this.

And with that, he finally let himself drift off to sleep.

Jared woke up just before dawn. Looking over at Charlie he could see that he was still fast asleep, his chest rising and falling with his even breathing. He felt his heart swelling with…well, he didn’t want to say it was love because they’d only known each other for a few days…but even so, it was something more than just affection.

He reached out and picked up his phone to see what time it was. He knew that his parents were still early-risers and, while his dad had basically given Charlie permission to seduce him in his old bedroom–and that was still weird–he thought there might be a difference between his parents approving of such a thing in the abstract and actually seeing their son in bed with another man.

Moving quickly and quietly, he managed to get out of bed and slip into his clothes. He was tempted to plant a parting kiss on Charlie’s forehead but decided against it. Instead he tiptoed out of the bedroom and made his way back to the guest room and slipped inside. He had no way of knowing whether his mother had decided to look in on him during the night (as she had a tendency of doing whenever he was home), but he really hoped she hadn’t. He didn’t want to have to feel embarrassed at the breakfast table.

Jared got into bed, but it was quickly clear that he wasn’t going to get any more sleep, so he just lay there staring at the ceiling, trying not to think of anything in particular.

Not long after, he heard the rustle and clatter as the dogs woke up first, followed by his parents. He closed his eyes and just let himself enjoy the homely sound of them moving through the house, his mother uttering a few choice words for the dogs (the morning was really the only time she was ever really grumpy). It all took him back to his childhood, and there was a comfort and a pleasure in that.

Soon enough, he heard his mother’s footsteps outside the guest bedroom, and then she was knocking gently.

“Jared, sweetie, are you awake?” she asked.

He debated pretending to still be asleep, but then he figured that, since he wasn’t going to get any more sleep anyway, he might as well just admit to being awake and get the day started.

“Yeah, I’m awake,” he said. “I’ll be right down.”

“Okay,” she said. “I’ll start making breakfast. “How do waffles sound?”

“They sound great, mom!” he said.

There was another pause on the other side of the door.

“Would you mind telling Charlie that breakfast will be served in a little while? I don’t mind making another batch, but I thought he might like to have breakfast with the rest of us.”

Jared stifled a sigh. His mother was the master of making nagging sound like she was only thinking about you.

Be nice, Jared, he reminded himself. She’s been nothing but kind and welcoming to you and Charlie since you got here. The least you can do is not be snarky.

Summoning up all of his politeness, he said, “Of course, mom. I’ll see if he’s up.”

“Thank you!” she chirped, and then she was gone.

In his experience sex–particularly good sex–always changed things, and not always for the better. The longer he put off waking up Charlie, the longer he could put off avoiding what that change would look like.

Okay, that’s enough. Get off your ass and go wake up Charlie.

The few feet between the guest bedroom and his old room felt like a mile and, once there, he just stood, uncertain what to do. Even when he pushed the door open and stepped inside he couldn’t bring himself to wake Charlie up, choosing instead to look at his face, still peaceful in sleep.

“Are you going to just stand there and look at me all morning or are you going to invite me to breakfast?”

Jared almost jumped out of his skin.

“I wasn’t staring at you.”

Charlie leaned up in bed and gave him a look. “I think we both know that’s not true. Don’t worry, though. I thought it was kind of cute. But also kind of creepy.”

Once again Charlie gave him that feeling that his whole world was spinning out of control, and if there was one thing that Jared did not like, it was chaos and a lack of control.

Pull yourself together, damn it.

“Well, anyway, mom wanted me to tell you that breakfast was going to be ready in a little while. I hope you like waffles.”

Charlie’s eyes lit up at that. “I actually love waffles, but I don’t get to eat them very often.” He looked rather sheepish at that. “Carbs.”

Jared rolled his eyes. “Okay, Mr. Hollywood. Always obsessing about carbs or something rather than just trying to enjoy life’s pleasures. I’ll never understand it.” He stood there for another minute, but when Charlie didn’t move he started tapping his foot. “I’m not leaving until I see that you’re out of bed.”

Charlie actually blushed a little.

“Uh, I’m not actually dressed right now.”

Jared smirked at him. “I don’t think we need to worry about seeing each other naked, do you? Besides, you’re…,” he gestured at Charlie, “you’re Charlie Garrett, the guy who works out all the time and has an actual physical trainer.”

Charlie rolled his eyes. “You’re really not going to move or close your eyes, are you?”

“Not when the view is this good, I’m not,” Jared said.

“Fine.”

Jared wasn’t lying. Charlie was as beautiful naked as he was with his clothes on, of that there was absolutely no doubt. It wasn’t just that he was muscular and toned; he was perfectly proportioned. It might have been cliche, but Jared was reminded of the statues that the ancient Greeks had sculpted of young male beauty. In fact, it occurred to him that Charlie Garrett would have made a very good Alexander the Great.

Now that he had an audience, Charlie moved very deliberately. Whatever his initial hesitation, he clearly liked showing off for Jared, and Jared enjoyed the show just as much.

Finally, though, he managed to get dressed, though Jared was more than a little disappointed to see his beautiful body disappear beneath his clothes. Charlie gave him a smirk in return.

“Don’t look so sad,” he said. “I’m sure you’ll get to see it again, soon.”

Jared once again felt that little prickle of unease at the thought of continuing whatever this was with Charlie, at least beyond this weekend, but he pushed it away.

“Boys!” Joyce’s voice came from downstairs. “Are you about ready? Breakfast is on the table!”

“I guess I should have warned you that my mother can be a bit of a nag sometimes.”

“Don’t be so hard on her. She’s just trying to be a good host. Like mother, like son.”

Jared gave him a scathing look, but Charlie just laughed.

A few minutes later the four of them–Charlie, Jared, and Jared’s parents–were seated around the table tucking in to a very delicious helping of waffles. His mother, of course, had made sure to put bowls of strawberries and bananas on the table, too, as well as a very large bottle of syrup that she proudly told them she had bought on their most recent trip to New England.

Jared had to admit that it was very good syrup. In fact the entire meal was delicious, and it brought back some very warm and pleasant memories of his childhood. He kept looking at Charlie, to see what he was making of all of this, but he was so invested in his waffles that he didn’t even look up.

“So,” Joyce said at last, as they were all planning on doing today?”

To be quite honest Jared hadn’t really thought that far ahead, but now he realized that he should show Charlie something other than just his parents’ property.

“Uh, I guess I could show Charlie Annamoriah? I mean, I’m not sure he’d want to see my old stomping grounds, but at least it would get us out of the house a bit.”

To his surprise, Charlie greeted this idea with enthusiasm.

“I think that’s a great idea,” he said. “I’d love to see where you spent part of your childhood.”

“Don’t get too excited,” Jared said. “There really isn’t that much there that’s worth writing home about.”

“It wouldn’t hurt you to show some pride in where you come from, son,” Doug said.

“I’ll do my best, dad,” Jared said.

The rest of breakfast passed in mostly companionable small talk, as Jared and his parents reminisced about their shared past and the many happy memories they had in this house. This was a regular part of his visits home, since it was often easier to find shared understanding and joy in the past rather than the thorny present. Any time they got close to one of the subjects that Jared preferred not to talk about–particularly anything to do with his love life–he neatly parried and moved them to more comfortable territory.

Finally breakfast was done and it was time to start getting ready to leave for Annamoriah, since that was clearly what they were going to spend the day doing. Considering the fact that it took about ten minutes to get from one side of town to the other, he wasn’t sure just what he was going to show Charlie.

Don’t be so negative, he thought, his echoes echoing his father’s words. If you want Charlie to understand who you are, the least you can do is show him where you grew up and the places that shaped you. And who knows? You might even learn something about yourself.

That was a bit of a strange thought, but he decided to go about this with the spirit of openness that it deserved.

Both he and Charlie took showers, and the whole time Charlie was in there Jared kept wondering what it would be like to be in there with him, their bodies touching each other as the hot water streamed over them. Sex was great, but so was the kind of intimacy that could only come from taking a shower with another man…

“Jared,” his mother said, breaking into his thoughts. He turned to where she stood in the doorway to the guest bedroom. She had that serious look on her face that said she had something very important to tell him but didn’t quite know how to start. “Do you have a minute?”

He gestured vaguely toward where Charlie was still showering down the hall. “Sure, mom. What’s up?”

She came in and sat down on the bed next to him. He suddenly had a flashback of when they’d had “the talk.”

“Don’t get that look,” she said. “I’m not here to lecture you.”

“Well, that’s a relief,” he said.

“I just wanted to say that I love the way that you’ve been the past day or so,” she said. “I’ll admit that I was a bit surprised when you brought Charlie here without telling me, but I’m glad that you did. You seem so carefree when he’s around, almost as if that weight you’re always carrying is finally starting to lift a little bit.” She leaned in then and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “I know you don’t need a mother’s advice, but if you ask me you might want to give this one a chance.”

Before he could say anything to that–before he could even thank her for offering her advice–she was up and gone.

A minute later Charlie came into the room, wearing a very tight-fitting pair of jeans and a plain white T-shirt. He looked so much like a teen idol that Jared almost wanted to scream.

“You look…really nice,” he managed to choke out.

“If you could see your face right now,” Charlie said. Before Jared could respond to that Charlie had thrown himself onto the bed beside him and took him into a rough embrace.

“What are you doing?” Jared said, the scent of Charlie’s cologne and that smell that was just him making him feel very aroused.

“Just giving my favorite guy a hug. You looked like you could use it.”

I could always use a hug from you, he thought but didn’t say.

“So, when do we head off to your hometown? I meant what I said. I’m genuinely looking forward to getting to know the place that you grew up and spent your formative years. One of these days I’ll return the favor, I promise.”

There was something enticing about that promise of the future, of a time when the two of them would be able to get to know more about one another. He smiled at the thought.

“We’re leaving right now.”

It took about twenty minutes to get from Jareds’ parents’ place to Annamoriah, and the road was, like so many others in West Virginia, full of twists and turns. Charlie, of course, was used to this type of thing, as he reassured Jared when he started to apologize for the road.

“Believe me, they’re even worse down south below Morgantown,” he said. “Not only do they curve and switch every which way. There are also pot holes that could easily swallow a car.”

They both had a good laugh at that.

The real joy of the drive, though, was just how beautiful it was. The road curved along the ridge, which meant that you could look out on the hills and valleys on either side. Small farms were scattered along the hilltops, and the trees were also in their most beautiful state. It had been just the right amount of wet and dry this year, which meant that the splendor was even more vibrant than usual.

Even though he would never have admitted it aloud, Jared actually felt like he was home.

Finally they came within the last few miles of Annamoriah.

“Are you ready to see the sprawling metropolis that I spent my formative years in?” he asked.

“I told you before that I was looking forward to getting to see the place that you grew up,” Charlie said, “and I meant it. I do wonder, though, why you’re so intent on being so down on it. Was it really that bad?”

Jared was honestly not sure how to answer that. He hadn’t had the worst time of it in high school. A select few people had known he was gay, and for the most part people didn’t make a big deal out of it, but there was still a pervasive feeling of homophobia. It was there in the way that people would look at him while he walked down the hallway, and the way that they would sometimes lean over to whisper to one another.

He tried to explain some of this to Charlie, but he finally got frustrated with his inability to convey exactly what he meant and went silent.

“I guess a lot of it might have been in my head,” he admitted.

Charlie shook his head. “I don’t think you were necessarily imagining all of it,” he said. “Things were different when we were growing up, and it’s true that West Virginia, particularly small-town West Virginia, can be very reluctant to change its ways and come into the 21st century. But still, don’t you have any fond memories of high school and your hometown that you like to think about sometimes?”

Jared rather wondered why Charlie was being so insistent about this, but he decided to humor him and try to think about some of the things about his home that he actually liked. It ended up being surprisingly easy.

“Well,” he said, drawing the word out, “I like the way that my school was small enough that you knew everyone from the time that you were in kindergarten until you graduated from high school. By the time it was over you felt like you really understood everyone else, that you’d been through it and survived. I like the way that we’d all get together to go to the two restaurants in town, gathering every Friday night after the football game. I love the ice cream shop that used to make sundaes that were even better than Dairy Queen’s.”

His face fell. “Unfortunately most of those places aren’t in business anymore.” He barked a bitter laugh. “I’m afraid that the 21st century hasn’t been as kind to Annamoriah as it has been to some other places in West Virginia.” He sighed. “I wish that it was different, but that’s just the way it is sometimes.”

For the first time, Jared really took a minute to think about what it meant that Annamoriah wasn’t the same town that it had been when he was growing up. He still felt a lot of fondness for it, but it was a shadow of its former self, and this impression only got more intense as they came within the limits of the town itself. There were far more empty storefronts than there had been when he was in school. The saddest were those that still had a few objects left in their front windows, a reminder of what they used to be.

“It’s not much to look at, is it?” Jared asked as they drove down Main Street.

At least the library is still open, he thought glumly.

“I wouldn’t say that,” Charlie said, as always trying to look on the bright side. “There’s something cute about it. Looking around at it, you can see what it used to be, and you can also see what it might be if someone cared enough to pour some money and energy into it.”

Jared tried to hide his skepticism about that particular idea. It wasn’t that he didn’t think Annamoriah and its residents didn’t deserve another chance to flourish; it was just that he didn’t think there was likely to be any sort of movement on that front, not anytime soon, anyway. Still, he wasn’t going to pour water on Charlie’s idea.

“You know,” Charlie went on, “I can actually see a way in which this town could reinvent itself as a little artist colony, like a lot of the small towns in the southern part of the state have been doing. There could be little galleries and shops. Local artisans could offer classes and stuff. Surely there are enough people here with the artsy spirit to make it work, right?”

“I honestly don’t know,” he said. “I haven’t been that plugged into things here for a very long time.”

“You should think about asking your parents about it. They might even want to get in on the act.”

Jared didn’t think that much was likely. Neither of his parents were particularly artistic in temperament, but maybe it was worth a try.

For a while he just sort of drove around the town aimlessly, showing Charlie all of the places that meant something to him: the public library (obviously), but also his old high school (which had been converted into a community center once the whole county consolidated), and the small town market which doubled as a pizza shop (and which, like the library, was still miraculously open). Charlie kept asking questions, as if he really did want to know about both the place and Jared’s relationship to it.

This guy is really too good to be true, he thought.

There was, finally, just one last place that he wanted to take Charlie to, the one place that he’d always been able to find peace and welcome, even when the rest of his life felt like shit.

He was going to take him to Streeter Park.

There was something more than a little miraculous about this little bit of green space that sat on the edge of town. It had been in Annamoriah since its founding in the 1800s and, despite all of the ups and downs it had faced over the years, it had somehow managed to stay largely the same. It was as it always had been: a little island of green beauty in the midst of a town that had seen better days.

Even though it was fall, there hadn’t yet been a hard frost, so the roses were still blooming in their beds. Once upon a time Jared had actually been pretty good friends with the gardener, but he’d passed away while he was in undergrad. Jared didn’t know who was in charge of them now, but whoever they were, they were doing a very good job at making sure that they were kept pruned and fertilized. Their heady scent filled the air, while the nearby creek chattered away in its bank.

“Other than the hill near my parents’ place, this was the one place where I could always go and feel at peace with the world.” He ducked his head shyly, still a bit uncomfortable at sharing this little piece of himself with Charlie, still afraid that he might turn his nose up at it.

“Well, what are we waiting for?” Charlie asked. “Let’s get out and explore it a bit!”

Jared was a bit nervous to get out of the car–there was no point in keeping Charlie out of the spotlight if they managed to get spotted by someone, after all–but Charlie waved that concern away, gesturing toward the empty park.

“I don’t see anyone out there, do you?”

Jared had to admit that he did not but, as he reminded Charlie, this was also a small town and all it would take was one person and then they would have everyone here gawking at them.

“You worry too much,” Charlie said and then leaned over and kissed him. While Jared was still wrapping his head around that–and trying not to be paranoid about being seen by someone–Charlie got out of the car and bounded off across the park. Once again, Jared was reminded very much of a golden retriever, and he felt his heart do a little backflip.

He got slowly out of the car, still always keeping an eye out in case anyone was watching. As Charlie had rightly pointed out, however, there wasn’t a single person nearby, nor did it look like there was going to be anytime soon.

They leisurely strolled around the park, their hands coming very close to touching but never quite making it. The truth was that he was still nervous about showing such explicit attention to another guy in the middle of his old hometown.

Old habits die hard, I guess, he thought. Particularly the bad ones.

Suddenly Charlie grabbed hold of his hand and led him over to one of the benches that were scattered throughout the park. Jared wasn’t sure whether to feel nervous or excited or some combination of the two.

As soon as they were seated Charlie took his hand in his and planted a gentle kiss on it.

“Jared, I want you to know how much I’ve enjoyed the last couple of days with you. I know that we got off on a bit of the wrong foot, but I like to think that I’ve shown you that I’m not the person that you think I am, or at least not entirely that.”

Jared’s heart was beating faster and faster. For some strange reason he felt like this was the moment in a rom-com where the hero would ask the heroine to marry him.

He’s not going to ask me to marry him, is he?

But no, it was something far simpler that Charlie was going to ask, even if it was no less momentous for Jared.

“I know that there’s a lot standing in the way of a relationship, but, well, I guess I was wondering if you might like to try dating me?” Charlie laughed self-deprecatingly, showing off those dimples that were so irresistible. “I know it’s going to be long-distance, but I think we can find some ways to work it out. It’s just…you make me feel like an actual person, and I flatter myself into thinking that you have some feelings of some sort for me, too. Or am I wrong?”

This was the moment that Jared would usually tell someone that was interested in him that, while he was very flattered by the attention, he just wasn’t in the market for a relationship. Those exact words almost slipped out of his mouth, but instead he surprised himself.

“I feel the same way about you,” he said. There was a part of his mind that was screaming at him to cut and run while he still could, that this was a one-way ticket to heartbreak, but he kept forging on, some brave, romantic part of himself that he’d almost forgotten existed managing to take over. “I’ll admit that when I first picked you up I thought you were the arrogant golden boy that everyone that I’d always thought you were, but now I see there’s something special about you.”

He paused to gather his thoughts and his courage. “So, yeah, I think I would like to date you. I mean, I have no idea how this is all going to work but, somehow, I think the two of us can figure it out. I’m starting to think there’s nothing we can’t do together.”

Before he could second guess himself he leaned in and gave Charlie a very passionate kiss. When he pulled away, he could feel his own face flushing, and Charlie’s was, too.

“That was unbearably sappy of me, wasn’t it?” he said.

Charlie laughed. “Probably, but I liked it. And besides, you know you don’t have to add a sarcastic remark to every heartfelt thing you say, right?”

“Oh, just shut up and kiss me again,” Jared said.

“With pleasure,” Charlie said.