4. Libby
LIBBY
I booted up my laptop and tossed my things on my bed, then undressed and went in to take a shower. I needed to rinse the feel of Brett off me. Though he was exactly what I needed, it made me feel dirty. He was a means to an end and I got what I needed.
As soon as I was showered and had brushed out my hair, I wrapped a towel around my body and sat on my bed. The last thing I wanted to do right now was get involved in anything that had to do with Rafe.
But the fact that Brett had been following me told me all I needed to know.
Whatever Rafe had gotten involved in, it wasn’t even close to being over.
That would explain all the phone calls from Eva over the past few months.
I assumed she was trying to reach out to me as a sister, but instead, she was probably trying to warn me.
Not that I needed or wanted her protection. I could handle myself just fine.
I downloaded the images from the cloud and studied the keycard I’d snapped a picture of. The business was one I hadn’t heard of, but that wasn’t a big surprise. Anyone who was involved in anything to do with Rafe would want to keep their movements low-key.
After a little research, I found that Brett was the owner of some kind of mediation group. I didn’t really see the point of a company like that, but he seemed to be doing well for himself. But how was he connected to Rafe?
I ran every search I could think of, digging through any aspect of his life that could possibly cross with Rafe’s. And still, I came up empty. When I was done with that, I hacked into his bank account and went through his financials, looking for anything there, but still came up empty.
There wasn’t a single charity, bank, city, or anything else I could think of where their paths might have crossed. So, how did that link him to my dearly departed husband?
There was only one way to find out and that was by going directly to the source. I dressed quickly, studying the camera feed I’d set up while Brett was in the shower this morning. He was at what appeared to be his house, and he was packing for a trip.
After checking airlines and private flights, I finally found his destination, and it was halfway across the world. Since it was the weekend, I was betting the office would be closed down.
That didn’t mean security wouldn’t be there. It would take a hell of a lot to break into a building, and I had to assume that this man had top-notch security if he was connected to Rafe.
But there was no way I was walking away until I knew why he was so interested in me.
I gathered everything I needed, including spending an exorbitant amount of time replicating his keycard. It had to hold up against all security or it would be useless. Then I studied the plans of the building and found his office. There was no guarantee I would make it up there, but I had to try.
It took me four hours to reach his office. The man had gone out of his way to follow me, which only confirmed my suspicions that this was not a friendly run-in. Not that his following me around could be misconstrued as anything else.
But as I walked past his building, it was pretty clear that getting inside might be easy, but getting out would be the hard part.
Security swarmed the building, and as soon as they were alerted to my presence, which was bound to happen since I was unaware of any security parameters inside, I would be found out.
I didn’t relish the idea of shooting my way out, and feigning ignorance wouldn’t work since I slept with the man. I might have fooled him so far, but as soon as I showed up at his property, he would know I was onto him.
Walking across the street to a coffee house, I sat near the window and scoped out the place, putting a plan together. It was while I was studying the building that a very familiar face appeared down the street from the building. That couldn’t be a coincidence.
Slipping out of the coffee house, I headed in the opposite direction until I reached the crosswalk, then strode right up behind him and slipped my hand into his crooked arm.
“Just keep smiling and pretend we’re lovers.”
“Libby. What the hell are you doing here?”
“I would guess the same thing as you.”
I felt his body tense at my words, but despite everything in him screaming to get me out, he didn’t follow those instincts, which I was eternally grateful for. I hadn’t gone through all that shit last night only to have my legs cut out from under me.
“This is not something you should be involved in.”
“Funny. I believe that’s what Rafe felt also, and look how that turned out.”
“With you still alive,” he bit out.
“He didn’t seem to care all that much when we were together. Remember everything I did for him? All the jobs I went on to help him? It’s strange that he never felt he could confide in me.”
“He didn’t want you to end up dead like him.”
“Yet, he had no problem with me fucking other men for information.”
His steps faltered as we rounded the corner. He quickly spun, shoving me up against the building. His eyes burned with hatred, but not for me. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Oh, come on,” I huffed out a laugh. “What did you think he sent me to do when I was ‘kidnapped’ and sold into sex trafficking?”
I could tell from his tight jaw and the way his eyes burned that he really didn’t have a clue what I was talking about. It was almost sad that the man he had followed so long had been such a disappointment in the end.
“Did he explicitly tell you to sleep with other men?”
“Does it fucking matter?” I argued. “He knew what would happen.”
“You volunteered for that job,” he spat.
I shoved back against him, my anger rising by the second.
“And no man who truly loves a woman would allow her to do something like that! I would have done anything for him. Anything!” Tears welled in my eyes as hurt replaced the anger.
“All I ever wanted from him was his love and trust. And he couldn’t give that to me.
In the end…he never really gave me either. ”
Sighing, Jack tugged me into his arms, letting me break down against his chest. I gripped his shirt so hard that my fingers ached, but I didn’t let go. I couldn’t. Jack knew all too well about going to any lengths for Rafe, only to find out later that you sacrificed way more than you should have.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Libby.”
I sniffled, wishing I could go back in time and make different choices, but in the end, there was still one major problem. “I still fucking love him,” I sobbed. “What the fuck is wrong with me?”
“The same thing that’s wrong with all of us. We all wanted to follow him. We believed in him, and I’m not saying it’s right, but I’m not so sure it was wrong either.”
Instead of easing the pain inside, the tears only fell harder at his words. Sometimes it felt like the grief was overwhelming, making it impossible to breathe. And all I really wanted was to move on and forget this part of my life ever happened.
But Rafe wouldn’t let me.
“It’s so fucking suffocating,” I admitted. “He was everything to me, and he just…walked away.”
“He loved you,” Jack said gruffly, rubbing my back.
“He didn’t even tell me goodbye.”
He sighed heavily, squeezing me tightly. “Because he couldn’t. You were the one person he couldn’t walk away from, and if he had to tell you goodbye…how the fuck would he have willingly gone to that island?”
I huffed out a laugh, stepping back as I wiped my eyes. “Is that supposed to make me feel better? To know that he didn’t want to leave me, but he still sacrificed everything and went to his death still loving me?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I can’t say whether or not you should forgive him or even still love him.
Knowing what he did…” Jack glanced away, and I could see the battle warring across his features.
“I guess I’ve come to terms with why he did it.
I’m not saying I forgive the shit he put me through, but we did take down The Syndicate.
We achieved what we set out to do. Honestly, if it was anyone else, we probably would have given up long ago. ”
“He ruined lives,” I pointed out. “Asher lost his wife.”
“She got out. She’s still alive.”
“That doesn’t change what Asher went through.
It nearly destroyed him, and it was like Rafe didn’t care.
All he wanted was for Asher to push through, to use the opportunity his wife’s death presented.
I was fucking there!” I spat. “He pushed Asher to continue with the job, using her death as a fucking excuse to become even more ruthless. He just didn’t know when enough was enough! ”
I was breathing hard, my chest heaving as I stared into my old friend’s eyes. Another breakdown was coming. I could feel it simmering under my skin since last night, but now, it was at a turning point. If I didn’t get blind drunk, it would consume me.
“He—” My breath hitched as the words lodged in my throat. Tears welled once again, but this time, it was accompanied by the all-consuming pain I knew all too well.
I squeezed my eyes closed, trying and failing to force those feelings down. It didn’t work, though. I couldn’t stop it as my body shattered from the pain, refusing to hold me up any longer.
My knees crumpled, but Jack was there, catching me before I could hit the ground. I heard his soft, gruff murmurs as he hoisted me into his arms. Pain wracked my body and sliced me to ribbons as I remembered the words Cash told me.
He was dead. Rafe—my husband, the man who seems invincible—was dead. He had chosen to go to the island. He had chosen to leave me behind.
He refused to stop even though he knew it would mean his death.
My husband was gone, and I was left all alone.
“She was outside the building,” Jack told them.
I kept my eyes closed as he explained what happened. Every sordid detail, including how I had basically handed my body over to be used so Rafe could have his precious information.