28. Cash
CASH
The sweet smell of jasmine tickled my nose, making me ache for the one person I needed more than anyone else in this world. I reached for her, fumbling in the dark for the feel of her skin under my rough hand, but she wasn’t there.
She never was.
“Eva,” I mumbled, the words bitter on my tongue. She wouldn’t want me, not when I had left her behind. I had spent months pushing her away, making her hate me more than ever before.
The pain of losing my brother was real, the torture of my soul not at all hard to fake. But I never would have left her. I never would have forced her to her knees and taunted her with my cock, making her relive memories of what had happened with Rafe.
No, I never would have done that to the woman I loved if I had any other choice.
“You’re okay. I’m here now.”
I clung to the words, though I knew it was all in my head. Delirium was running rampant through my body as it gave out, refusing to let me move another step.
Tepid water clung to my skin from where I passed out in some dark alley, away from everyone trying to kill me. Now, all I had left were the memories of the woman I loved and the desire to fight to get back to her by any means necessary.
But that would require me to move, and unfortunately, nothing in my body worked right now.
“Just hang on a little longer. You’ll be okay.”
God, how I wished those words were true.
But even as my mind played tricks on me, making me feel like I was floating, all the while her hands were on me, I knew deep down that the end was coming, and I would be alone when it happened.
The darkness swayed around me as my stomach revolted. I barely rolled enough to vomit, the pain in my body and my head overwhelming me. Everything in me shook, swayed with the pain and dizziness filling me. If things ended now, at least I wouldn’t suffer any longer.
But Eva and my kids…they would never know that I truly loved them. That I hadn’t wanted to leave them. My legacy would be that I abandoned them.
“Eva,” I murmured, hearing a gentle, soothing whisper floating somewhere in my subconscious.
“I’ll always be here, Cash. I love you.”
I clung to her words as the darkness overwhelmed me, and I prayed that if I ever woke again, I would see her beautiful face.
“Just hang on, man,” FNG murmured as I clung to the last threads of life.
Blinding pain coursed through me as I was jostled, loaded onto something hard and unyielding. Fuck, everything in me hurt, and not even the knowledge that I was still alive and kicking could bring even the slightest joy at the moment.
“How much longer?” FNG barked.
“We’re two minutes out.”
I pried my eyes open against all odds, squinting as the first rays of light started to push through the night. “Fuck, why is it your face I see?”
FNG looked a little worse for wear, but at least he wasn’t dead like I presumed the last time I saw him. Though blood was streaked on the side of his face, and deep bruising coated the undersides of his eyes.
“Because I’m the only medic in the area willing to treat your stupid ass. Why the fuck you ran, I still haven’t figured out.”
If I thought I could actually argue with him, I would have, but the pounding in my head said that wouldn’t be a good idea. It felt like a nail was being driven right through my eyeball, which hardly compared with the pain in the back of my head.
“You’ve got so much fucking glass on you. It’s like you didn’t even bother to shake off the windshield as you ran through it.”
“Didn’t…run,” I said brokenly.
“Well, that’s a nice gash. Did you know you have a shard sticking out of your stomach?”
I grunted, wishing he would stop telling me shit.
“Ooh, nice! I like this one. It’ll add a nice scar to your collection. I’m telling you, Cash, there’s not a chance in hell anyone would mistake you for Rafe anymore.”
“Shut up,” I muttered, barely getting the words beyond my lips.
We jerked to a halt and the doors opened, bringing the morning light in with them. My body ached with the movement as I was lifted out of the back and carried around like a sack of potatoes. I was about to tell him to just drop me anywhere when I smelled it again.
“Jasmine,” I muttered, my eyes fighting the urge to drop dead, they flew open and searched for the woman from my dreams.
When she came into view, I could have sworn I was hallucinating. She couldn’t be here. There was no fucking way.
“Eva,” I gasped, biting back the pain as I was shifted and something dug into me.
“Shh,” she whispered as she came closer. “It’s okay.”
“Why?” I croaked, barely able to talk over the tears welling in my chest. She couldn’t be here. I ran from her so she would never be wrapped up in my mess, yet here she was. This couldn’t be happening.
“You have to go.”
If I thought I was hallucinating, I knew I wasn’t now as she shot me a look, telling me to shut the fuck up.
“You know, I’ve been letting you tell me what to do for just a little too long, and look at where that’s gotten you.
Beaten, barely alive, and on the world’s most wanted list. I think you’d be better off just letting me take things from here. ”
My lips quirked up in a grin at her words. Somehow, even when I was broken and barely alive, she managed to make me smile. Her hand snaked around mine, holding me tight and relieving the ache inside me. The pain of leaving her had nearly killed me, but I did it to save her.
And now she was here.
I choked on the words I’d so desperately wanted to tell her for months. The pain was overwhelming, reminding me of what had just happened. Someone was after me, and as long as she was by my side, she was in danger.
“You have to go,” I gritted out. “It’s not safe.”
“Nothing’s ever safe in life, Cash.”
She didn’t understand. Why was she even here? What was she thinking, traveling halfway around the world to be with me?
“Eva, they’ll kill you. They’re here?—”
“Shh,” she soothed, brushing a hand along my cheek. “Do you really think I’d let anyone close enough to hurt me?”
I tried to sit up, desperate to get her away from me. If they knew she was here, they wouldn’t hesitate to put a bullet in her head. No, that wasn’t right. They would torture her before they killed her as a message to me.
Hell, anyone who was connected with me would be in danger. I couldn’t let any of them stay. They all had to go.
“FNG, give him something to knock him out.”
I struggled to argue, but FNG was already heading toward me with a needle. If he stuck that in my skin, I wouldn’t be able to fight; I wouldn’t be able to get her to leave. They would come for her, and I would be helpless to stop them.
I gripped FNG’s wrist just as he came at me. My grip was weak, but I held him firm with all my might, forcing him to stop and listen.
“Please, make her leave,” I gritted out.
But his only response was a grin before he jerked his hand out of my grasp and jabbed the needle into my arm. “You know as well as I do that there’s no telling Eva what to do when she’s made up her mind.”
Desperation clawed at my throat as I tried and failed to stay lucid long enough to get any of them to listen to me. I heard them distantly making plans, all the while I was fading, unable to do a damn thing to prevent what I knew was about to happen.
They would all die.
And it would all be my fault.