Chapter 9
Even though I’ve only been without my things for a few days, it seems like forever, and I am desperate for fresh clothes and my familiar toiletries.
I am smiling at Cameron as though I have Stockholm syndrome.
He keeps shaking his head at me and grinning to himself as we drive down the secluded road, hemmed in by thick tropical rainforest on either side.
‘It seems magical, doesn’t it? As though an elephant is going to pop its head out any second,’ I gush as we speed along.
Cam slides his eyes to mine. ‘Wrong jungle. Wrong continent. Are you sure you’re an educator?’
‘I was speaking hypothetically.’ The only jungle I’ve ever seen is in The Jungle Book. ‘I meant tiger.’
‘Try a monkey or a jaguar.’
‘Good job I don’t teach zoology then,’ I say, laughing.
‘I think you’ll find the study of animals comes under science. And I’m pretty certain you teach that in schools.’
He’s right! It does.
I will try to style it out. He couldn’t possibly know the UK national curriculum. We can barely keep up with the changes ourselves. ‘Which one of us is the teacher here?’ I ask in a light tone.
‘Judging by this conversation, you could hardly tell,’ he says wryly, keeping his eyes fixed on the road.
He’s cheeky but I will let it go because: one, he’s in the right; and two, he’s woken up this morning looking perfect. Whereas I am a sweaty, hot mess.
After forty minutes of revealing how little research I have done on this fascinating country, we pull up at the airport and make our way inside the terminal. Stepping into the cool air-conditioned hustle and bustle is bliss. Even the walk from the car park had rivers of sweat pouring down my face.
After a mere thirty minutes of queueing, two minutes of Cam sounding very annoyed in Spanish and some shaking of heads and slapping of papers, we are leaving the airport terminal empty-handed and making our way back to the car.
Cam is muttering expletives under his breath. ‘Why tell me they have it when they clearly haven’t?’
‘What do you mean? Why can’t they find my luggage?’
Cam stops marching to face me. ‘Oh, they’ve found it. They know exactly where it is.’
‘Great! Where is it?’
‘Dubai. It’s being treated as a terrorist threat. Apparently, they found suspicious items inside. A digital thermometer, a tourniquet, bottles of antibacterial liquids and a penlight?’ He doesn’t seem impressed. ‘It’s hardly going to be your case, is it?’
Ah. I should explain.
‘Lois. My sister the nurse? What you’re describing is essentially a complete medi-pack. It could save lives.’
The frustration falls from his face as he laughingly rolls his eyes.
‘Hah. I should’ve known. Well, I doubt you’ll get any of that back, but the good news is they have promised to forward the rest of the luggage, you know, the really important stuff, your high heels and your hairpieces.
It should be on a flight today or tomorrow. ’
‘I love how you are taking my wardrobe so seriously.’ My voice is dripping with playful sarcasm. ‘Thank you so much for helping me get it back. I really can’t live without my stick-on eyelashes.’
‘Who could?’
‘Does that mean you might even let me go on the show?’ I say, treating him to my best adorable smile.
‘I could get into a lot of trouble if I do.’
Now that I’m here, I feel it would be rude at least not to try and win the hundred grand.
‘Would it help if I said mine and Lois’s signatures are virtually identical and that her fiancé says only a thorough forensic investigation would tell them apart, and that unless either of us confessed, LoveIt TV would never know? And he’s an up-and-coming lawyer so…’
‘Except, as the show’s producer, you have confessed to LoveIt TV. Twice.’
I am never drinking free wine ever again.
‘You’re right. I’m sorry for putting you in this situation and I’m sorry we’ve had a wasted trip to the airport, but I did enjoy the ride through the jungle. It was worth coming all this way just for that. Maybe we’ll see some giraffes or zebras on the way back.’
Cam studies me as I fiddle with my hospital gown, exposing my bikini in the process.
‘We can do better than that. Come on. I need to show you something. But first, we’ll pick up some clothes for you in town.
Get whatever you need. You can also send a list to Jake, your runner, when we get back.
We can always say you didn’t confess until tomorrow. ’
‘Cool. Thanks. One more day in paradise. I’ll take it.’
I am beyond grateful.
* * *
Apparently, the only clothes in this small one-horse town on the way back to the villa are to be found in a charming artisanal street market.
It is bustling with locals. There is one stand, amid two kebab meat vendors, selling clothes.
Traditional embroidered loose tops and lots of colourful ponchos leap out at me.
I’ve never worn any bright colours in my life.
The gap-toothed lady looks me up and down, indicates for me to twirl around and disappears behind a huge mountain of clothes.
She emerges to thrust a small pile into my arms.
‘Thirty dollar,’ she says, all gums.
‘Gracias,’ I say, too polite to argue. ‘Is there anywhere to try them on? Pongo las ropas?’
She shakes her head at my pidgin Spanish. ‘No need. They perfecto. She very lovely.’ She holds out her hand to a laughing Cam, who is nodding in agreement. He hands over the money while I feel a small tickle of pride ballooning inside. He thinks I’m lovely.
‘Thank you,’ I say as we leave. ‘I’ll pay you back.’
‘No worries,’ he says as I bundle the kebab-meat-scented clothes onto the back seat. ‘Even if they don’t fit, at least you’ll smell delicious in them. Nice try at the Spanish by the way.’
He thinks I smell nice and that I’m culturally sensitive.
* * *
We pull off the main road leading away from the airport and follow the signs to Cenote Maya. I can see all manner of tropical birds flying around, flashes of yellows, purples and blues as we whiz by.
‘How spontaneous would you say you are?’ he asks.
Compared to your glamorous, overachieving, not-spontaneous-enough ex-girlfriend? ‘Erm, very. I mean, extremely.’
‘Extremely?’ Cam asks, trying not to laugh at me.
‘Yes.’
As in not in the slightest.
‘You’re wearing a bikini underneath the gown, correct?’
I nod slowly. ‘Sort of. It’s one strap away from being a single shoelace.’
I just have time to notice Cam’s eyes widen. ‘How about a swim? You said you wanted to do something amazing before you leave, didn’t you?’
He swings the car into a parking area packed with buses and people coming and going.
I slip on my new clothes over the bikini while Cam turns his back to give me some privacy.
It’s a chance for me to appreciate his clean, smooth lines.
He is literally the perfect shape. Not big and bulky, just lean and athletic, the sort who could sweep you over his shoulder in the event of an emergency and still be able to save the dog.
A waft of roast pork follows me around. ‘I hope I don’t attract every wild carnivore in a ten-mile radius,’ I joke, discreetly pulling my new denim shorts into place to avoid a camel-toe situation – that crafty, gummy old doll has given me a size too small.
I smooth down the top, also close-fitting, before asking Cam where we are.
‘Probably the most magical place on earth,’ he says, causing ripples of excitement to flood my brain.
We approach the entrance and Cam pulls out some American dollars before we trek through the forest to an opening.
We reach a busy scene. People are stripping down to their swimwear, kicking off their shoes, throwing bags onto wooden benches and racing over to a large wooden platform to queue up.
There’s an excited buzz and much animated chatter.
We go over to do the same. I get the feeling that Cam is purposefully trying not to look at me in my skimpy bikini.
Once we have joined the queue, it is very fast moving. As we get to the front, Cam’s face lights up. ‘Hold on to your bikini straps!’ he says. ‘This will blow your mind.’ He points to a large wooden structure with all manner of pulleys, ropes and harnesses.
‘What is it?’ I ask him, but before he has a chance to answer, we are being strapped to a harness each and two men are lowering us gently into a huge sinkhole in the ground. It is surrounded by lush green plants and leaves and there’s a bright turquoise pool down at the bottom.
‘Oh, my word!’ I squeal as soon as we clear the flora and are lowered further down on the rope. We pass through the gap into an underground cave full of sparkling stalactites and glistening rock formations. It is terrifying and breathtaking at the same time.
Cam and I look at each other. He seems very excited while I am petrified and cling tightly to the rope. Within seconds, we reach another wooden platform like the one above and again two staff members unclip our harnesses.
‘Wow,’ Cam says as he looks around. ‘You okay?’
‘No,’ I say, nodding my head. ‘I mean, yes. No.’
‘You wanted to challenge yourself, right?’
Trust him to have such a good memory.
The staff instruct us on how to hold the zip wire before we plunge into the pool. ‘Wait until you are closest to the water and let go,’ one of the guides says, as though hurtling through a massive cave and dropping twenty feet into an underground pool is something I do every day of the week.
He must sense fear in me. ‘Questions?’
‘Yes,’ I say, trembling. ‘Are there any alligators in there? Should I be worried?’
He starts laughing. ‘No. Hahaha. Alligators! Hahahaha. No!’ He looks at me as though I’m insane. ‘No alligators in whole of Mexico. Alligators in Florida. Long way away.’
What a relief! I am seriously going to watch all the Blue Planets when I get back home.
‘Florida is a state in America.’ Cam leans across, his lips twitching.