Chapter 8 Heath
HEATH
“Heath? Yo, Heath, are you still there?”
“Uh, yeah,” I say hoarsely over the phone.
“Everything okay?”
No, everything definitely isn’t okay. I feel like I just made a huge mistake by answering my phone, but it’s too late now.
When Hayden’s name popped up on the screen, it was an automatic response to pick it up.
Between Hayden’s work schedule and my usually being tied up with my work, we don’t get many opportunities to catch up these days.
The look in Lily’s eyes when I stepped out of the kitchen tells me I made the wrong choice.
“Yeah,” I cough out. “I’m good.” I’m greeted with silence, and I wonder if he knows about me and his sister.
Part of me wants to tell him so he can yell at me and then get over it like I know he will.
Eventually. But it’s not me I’m worried about.
Lily doesn’t have many people in her life, and I don’t want to make any decisions that would affect her relationship with her brother.
That’s something for us to discuss together.
“Right,” he answers skeptically. “How’s the old stomping grounds treating you?”
“Honestly, I wasn’t sure what to expect when I rolled into town a few weeks ago.
I didn’t really have anywhere else to land after retirement, but once I came back…
everything just kind of fell into place.
” It’s not a lie. I just don’t tell him that the things falling into place are Lily and me and our future together.
“Kinda crazy that you’re back in Hope Mountain,” he says after a beat.
“I thought I’d see more of you, but it sounds like you keep yourself pretty busy. What kind of job are you doing now?”
“Extra security detail for a music festival. It’s annoying, but easy money. The damn thing is five days long. Who can listen to music for five days straight?”
I chuckle at his response. “We used to listen to a lot of music back in the day. Headbanger music, remember? We’d take my old Jeep to the parking lot in the back of the high school and do donuts while belting out Rage Against the Machine lyrics.”
“Yeah,” Hayden replies softly. He sounds like he’s stuck in a memory. It doesn’t last long before he clears his throat. “But that was a long time ago. And our music was infinitely better than the garbage that’s been pumping through the loudspeakers over here.”
“I see you’re entering your grumpy old man era,” I tease. “Maybe you could take a break after the music festival,” I suggest. “You know, come home for a bit. We haven’t chatted in person in… God, three years? It’d be good to see you. I know Lily misses you, too.”
I wince, not sure if that was tipping my hand too much. Fuck, I don’t like being deceitful, especially to my best and oldest friend. Hayden lets out a long, labored sigh, and I can picture him sinking into the nearest chair.
“It’s… complicated,” he starts. I get the sense he uses that excuse a lot. “I can’t be the person she needs. Plus, she’s crazy smart and motivated, and she has her bookstore to worry about. She doesn’t need me dragging her down.”
I wish we were having this conversation in person. Then I could slap him for being an idiot.
“You know Lily doesn’t judge you or view you as some kind of disappointment, right? She just wants her brother around.”
“And what do you know about what my little sister wants?” he snaps back.
Well, shit. “She’s always looked up to you,” I hedge. “It’s no secret that she loves you and wants you to be proud of her.”
“I’m always proud of her,” he growls. I keep digging the hole deeper and deeper.
“I know,” I concede. “Just think about a visit soon, okay?”
“Yeah,” he grunts. “Sure.”
The conversation moves to my new house, which I’m grateful for. It’s certainly easier to talk about than the knot of emotions surrounding Lily.
After about ten more minutes, we say our goodbyes.
I have a feeling that the next time we talk will be under very different circumstances.
I don’t want to keep my relationship with Lily a secret.
I’m not ashamed of her, and the sooner Hayden sees how serious I am, he’ll have to accept us as a couple. Right? Right? God, I hope so.
I let out a deep, cleansing breath and run a hand through my hair. I have more important things to worry about right now.
Pushing myself off the wall I was leaning against, I straighten my shirt and jeans before heading back out to the kitchen to talk to Lily. I need her to know how serious I am about us and that I won’t let Hayden get in the way of what we’re building.
Only when I step into the kitchen, Lily isn’t there. She’s not in the living room, guest rooms, bathrooms, or out on the porch. When I burst into my bedroom upstairs where she slept last night, I’m greeted with a freshly made bed… and no duffle bag of clothes, shoes, or toiletries in sight.
Shit. Did she leave me?
I pull out my phone and call her immediately, disappointed but not surprised when it goes to voicemail.
“Fuck,” I mutter before grabbing my keys and running outside.
My stomach twists in on itself as it sinks to the floor.
I did more damage than I thought by answering my phone and leaving her in the kitchen.
Five minutes and several broken traffic laws later, I’m pulling into the parking lot of Between the Covers. Of course, it’s not open today thanks to the break-in last night.
After Lily went to sleep, I called the cops to check the building for signs of forced entry.
Whoever busted the pipes had to have left some kind of trace.
Unfortunately, both entrances were securely locked, the windows weren’t messed with in any way, and there wasn’t anything unusual to report.
Without Lily’s permission or a reason to investigate further, there wasn’t much to do from a legal standpoint until we have more information.
But that doesn’t mean I’m not worrying myself fucking sick just thinking about Lily being in there, alone, unprotected.
“Fuck,” I mutter for what feels like the hundredth time this morning.
I cup my hands against the display window, hoping to see inside.
I get a glimpse of Lily’s stunning, curvy silhouette as it sways back and forth.
She must be knee-deep in the cleanup, and I hate that she started without me.
I was going to come up with a plan of attack so she wouldn’t feel so overwhelmed.
Instead, I hurt her. The most important person in my life.
I knock on the window before I can think better of it. Lily jumps at the sound, because of course she does. What was I thinking? I hold my hands up in a sign of surrender, praying that she gives me a chance to make it up to her.
When she sees me, Lily takes two steps toward the door before hesitating. Even from here, I can see the battle waging behind those blue eyes of hers.
After what feels like an eternity, Lily trudges toward the front door and unlocks it. She doesn’t look at me; she simply nudges the door open and then turns on her heel.
“Lily, are you okay?”
She nods half-heartedly.
“I’m sorry about this morning,” I offer, hoping to smooth things over. When she deflates even further, I know I missed the mark by a million miles.
“Is that what you came here to tell me? That you regret everything? I kinda got the hint when you left me naked in your kitchen after all the firsts we shared. Or at least, firsts for me. Whatever,” she huffs out.
She’s trying to sound tough and distant, but I hear her heart breaking all the same.
Jesus, it hurts knowing I did this to her.
“Lily, that’s not it at all,” I’m quick to reply. “I could never regret spending time with you. Can you look at me, sweetheart?”
“Why? So you can lie to my face?” She’s trying so damn hard to lash out at me, but her heart is too pure. I feel the loneliness and insecurity drip from her words, and I want nothing more than to be the one to comfort her.
“No. Just, please. I need to see you.”
Something in my tone must tug at her heart, because she turns and lifts her head, giving me her gorgeous blue eyes. They’re rimmed in red, along with her cute little nose. I made her cry. Fuck, I made her cry.
“I loved every second of being with you,” I tell her.
My hands slowly come up to her shoulders, giving her plenty of time to move if she wants.
Lily holds her breath, but lets me touch her in this small way.
“I’m apologizing for leaving you. I was on autopilot when my phone rang, but that’s no excuse.
I didn’t even think about how the situation would feel for you, and I’m a fucking idiot for not staying with you.
” Of course, she felt extremely vulnerable after her first intense sexual experience. What the hell was I thinking?
“Really?” she whispers. A spark of hope flickers across her features.
“Yes. I don’t make mistakes twice, and I swear to you, my sweet Lily, that I want to be with you. I’m not going anywhere. Things with Hayden might complicate what we have, but I’m not giving up on us. Please, please believe me.”
Another agonizing eternity later, Lily finally nods. A soft, shy smile spreads across her lips, and I have to lean down and taste it.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her again before pulling her in for another kiss.
We get lost in each other, my hands sliding down her shoulders so I can wrap them around her waist. She breaks the kiss first, panting for air as she collapses into my chest. I tuck her head under my chin and appreciate this moment with my girl.
I messed up, but she’s willing to forgive me.
I vow never to break her trust again. Lily will always know how much she means to me.
“Well, I have a lot of work to do today,” she says, stepping out of my embrace. I keep her close with a hand on her hip. Lily looks around the store, and I can practically see the thoughts and to-do lists swirling around in her head.
“I’m here too,” I remind her. “And I brought a shop vac to help with the water. I also called about renting a dumpster for the debris. Sullivan, Cutter, and their women are on standby whenever you’re ready to dive in.”
“When did you have time to do all of that?” Lily asks, her voice barely a whisper.
“This morning, while I was out getting breakfast supplies. I knew today was going to be another long, exhausting day, so I tried coming up with a plan to make it easier. You’re not alone, Lily. Never again.”
Her lip quivers, and for a moment, I worry I overstepped. I was only trying to help, but I can see how my actions could be interpreted as controlling. Lily gives me a watery smile and throws her arms around my neck. I wrap her up in the warmest hug, infusing my strength into her.
“Thank you,” she says softly. “I’m… not used to having this level of support. It’s kind of overwhelming. But I feel safer with you here.”
I take my first full breath since realizing Lily left this morning, then relax into her curves as I pull her even closer. “That’s the most important thing, sweetheart. Thank you for letting me in, for letting me love you like this.”
She gasps at my word choice, but I’m not taking it back. We can deal with that after the cleanup, however.
Lily eventually takes a step back and gathers her hair to one side before placing her hands on her hips. “Okay, Mr. Fix It. Where do we begin?”