8. Building Uncertainty
Building Uncertainty
~SPARROW~
“ F UCK!”
I paced the length of my small room, frustration building with each step.
The concrete floor was cool against my bare feet, a stark contrast to the warmth of my skin. I'd been cooped up in here for hours, pouring over research and lab results, and my body was restless with pent-up energy.
"This is ridiculous," I muttered to myself, running a hand through my tangled hair. "All I've done for days is faint and sleep. I'm supposed to be one of the best in the business, not some damsel in distress from a bad fairy tale."
I glanced at the makeshift lab setup on my desk – a collection of borrowed and stolen equipment that would make any real scientist cringe. But it was the best I could do given the circumstances. Vials of various chemicals lined one side, while my laptop displayed a dizzying array of test results and research papers.
The bullet that had nearly killed me lay in the center of it all, now nothing more than a misshapen lump of metal.
I'd spent countless hours analyzing every molecule of residue I could scrape from its surface, hoping to find some clue as to what had been done to it.
What kind of drug or poison could cause the vivid hallucinations and strange physical changes I'd been experiencing?
There had to be something laced in its surface to cause this inconsistent drop in my health and well-being. Enough to make an impact but not enough to kill me.
The perfect dose to be a pain in my arse!
So far, I’d found nothing.
Every test came back inconclusive or showed results that defied explanation. It was as if the bullet had been touched by something that science couldn't quantify.
"Maybe I'm just going crazy," I said to the empty room, throwing my hands up in exasperation. "Maybe that bullet knocked something loose in my brain, and now I'm seeing things that aren't there. Dreaming of monster kings who are good at sex and magical realms so gleamingly beautiful, it makes this place a hellhole!” At this rate, the whole Underground would hear my hissy fit if I didn’t get it together. “God, I sound like I belong in a psych ward."
I flopped down onto my narrow bed, staring up at the cracked ceiling.
The frustration was almost a physical ache in my chest.
I wasn't used to feeling this... helpless . This out of control. My whole life, I'd relied on my wits and skills to survive. But now? Now it felt like I was adrift in a sea of impossibilities, with no shore in sight.
A cool breeze drifted through the room, carrying with it the scent of night-blooming jasmine. Which was odd, considering my room was underground and had no windows.
I sat up, frowning, and that's when I saw it.
Perched on a window sill that definitely hadn't been there a moment ago was a fox. But not just any fox – this one was white as snow, its fur seeming to absorb the light around it. Its eyes, a startling amber color, regarded me with an intelligence that sent a shiver down my spine.
For a moment, I just stared, convinced I must be hallucinating again. But the fox didn't disappear. Instead, it cocked its head to the side, as if asking a silent question.
A laugh bubbled up from my chest, surprising even me with its genuine joy.
"Well, hello there," I said, slowly standing up so as not to startle the creature. "Where did you come from, little one?"
The fox made no sound, but its tail swished once, almost like a greeting. Without really thinking about it, I found myself moving towards the mini-fridge in the corner of my room. "You must be hungry, huh? Let's see what we've got."
I rummaged through the fridge, pushing aside containers of dubious leftovers and half-empty energy drinks. "Ah-ha!" I exclaimed, pulling out a package of turkey slices. "This should do nicely."
Turning back to the window, I half-expected the fox to be gone. But it was still there, watching me with those uncanny eyes. I approached slowly, holding out a piece of turkey. "Here you go, beautiful. Don't be shy."
To my amazement, the fox didn't hesitate. It leaned forward, delicately taking the meat from my fingers. Its muzzle was softer than I expected, like velvet against my skin. As it ate, I couldn't resist reaching out to stroke its sleek fur.
The moment my hand made contact, a jolt of... something... ran through me.
It wasn't unpleasant — quite the opposite, in fact. It felt as if all the frazzled energy that had been building up inside me was suddenly soothed, replaced by a deep sense of calm and well-being. The fog that had been clouding my thoughts cleared, leaving behind a clarity I hadn't realized I'd been missing.
"Wow," I breathed, marveling at the sensation. "You're something special, aren't you?"
The fox finished its treat and then, to my delight, pushed its head into my hand, clearly asking for more pets. I obliged happily, marveling at the silky texture of its fur. Up close, I could see that what I had thought was pure white actually had subtle variations – hints of midnight blue, black, and deep purple that shimmered when the light hit just right.
As I stroked the fox, I found myself talking to it, the words spilling out almost of their own accord.
"I don't suppose you have any insight into what's been happening to me, do you? Strange dreams, impossible speed, glowing tattoos that appear and disappear... It's like something out of a fantasy novel."
The fox's ears perked up at my words, and for a moment, I could have sworn I saw a flicker of... recognition? Understanding? But that was impossible. It was just a fox, after all.
Wasn't it?
A knock at my door startled me out of my reverie. I turned towards the sound, calling out, "Just a minute!"
When I looked back at the window, the fox was gone.
Not just gone from the sill, but the window itself had vanished, leaving only the solid concrete wall I knew should be there.
I blinked, rubbing my eyes in disbelief.
"What the hell?" I muttered.
Had I imagined the whole thing? But no – the empty turkey wrapper was still in my hand, proof that something had been here.
The knock came again, more insistent this time.
"Sparrow? You okay in there?" Liam's voice, tinged with concern, filtered through the door.
"Coming!" I called back, quickly tossing the wrapper in the trash and running a hand through my hair in a futile attempt to tame it.
I opened the door to find Liam leaning against the frame, a worried frown creasing his brow.
"Hey," I said, trying for a casual tone. "What's up?"
Liam's eyes scanned my face, then moved past me to take in the chaos of my room.
His frown deepened.
"Have you been in here all day? Elenore said she hadn't seen you at meals."
I shrugged, suddenly feeling self-conscious about my appearance. I was wearing nothing but a pair of old running shorts and a tank top, and I was sure I looked a mess.
"Lost track of time, I guess. Been doing some research."
Liam's gaze landed on the lab setup on my desk.
"Research, huh?” He doesn’t seem impressed. “Find anything interesting?"
There was something in his tone, a tension that hadn't been there before.
I narrowed my eyes, studying him more closely.
Liam had always been protective of me, but lately, it felt like there was something more going on. Something he wasn't telling me.
"Not really," I said slowly. "Lots of dead ends and impossible results. It's like..." I trailed off, not sure how to explain without sounding crazy.
"Like what?" Liam prompted, his voice gentle but insistent.
I sighed, running a hand through my hair again.
"Like whatever was on that bullet isn't from this world," I admitted. "I know how that sounds, believe me. But nothing I've tried has given me any answers that make sense."
Liam was quiet for a long moment, his expression unreadable.
Then he seemed to come to a decision.
"Maybe that's because you're asking the wrong questions," he said cryptically.
I frowned, meeting his gaze with a level of discernment.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Instead of answering, Liam stepped fully into my room, closing the door behind him while I stepped out of his way. He moved to the desk displaying my immense research, picking up the misshapen bullet and turning it over in his hands.
"You've been so focused on finding a scientific explanation," he said. "But what if the answer isn't scientific at all?"
My heart began to race, a mix of excitement and fear coursing through me.
"Liam," I said carefully because I needed to word this simply to potentially get the answer I felt in my gut Liam carried. Held and was afraid to tell me? "What do you know?"
He met my gaze, and I was struck by the intensity in his blue eyes. There was something almost... wild there, something I'd never seen before.
"It's time I told you some things, Sparrow," he said very carefully. It felt so odd to hear the seriousness in his voice. It projected this odd sense of power while giving off a hint of protection. Almost similar to someone of authority trying to protect those beneath them in rank
“About?” I prompt, not really understanding where this was going.
"Things about your past. About who you really are. But I need you to keep an open mind, okay?” he offers almost hesitantly. “Because what I'm about to tell you is going to sound impossible."
I was going to instantly agree, but none of this was making sense.
Sure, I’ve known Liam for a long ass time and knew he’d protect me with his life, but this whole ‘about your past’ and ‘who you really are’ shit didn’t fly for me. If he knew all of that, why would he keep it a secret from me when I’ve been yearning for answers regarding my family for years?
A part of me wanted to instantly get angry, but then I thought about the dreams I'd been having, the strange experiences of the past few days. The window that had appeared and disappeared, the fox that seemed more than just an animal.
Suddenly, 'impossible' didn't seem like such a stretch.
"Okay," I said, sitting down on the edge of my cot. "I'm listening."
This was going to be our best shot of having some time together and “talking” about all the madness that has been happening, so why not confront the elephant in the room already?
Liam took a deep breath as if steeling himself for something monumental.
"It all starts with a prophecy," he began. "A prophecy about a girl born of two worlds, with the power to reshape reality itself..."
A girl of two worlds?
As I leaned forward, eager to hear more, a sharp knock on the door made us both flinch. Liam's expression quickly shifted from open vulnerability to guarded wariness, while I’m glaring at the door because ‘what the fuck’?
Why is it that whenever I’m about to get answers for shit, there’s an interruption?
"Sparrow? Liam? I know you're in there." Vincent's voice, cold and authoritative, filtered through the door. "Open up. We have an emergency!"
Emergency?
Liam and I exchanged a look of frustration and resignation. Whatever revelations had been about to unfold would have to wait because the Underground never had emergencies. Not ones where Vincent himself came to retrieve us.
What’s possibly happening now?
"Coming, sir," I called out, standing up and quickly smoothing down my clothes. I quickly look to Liam, pointing an accusing finger his way before whispering, "We're not done with this conversation. You owe me answers."
If he knew what laced that bullet or why I’ve been experiencing all this weird shit, he’d better tell me before I go completely insane.
He nodded, his expression grave.
"Soon," he promised. "When this is over, I'll tell you everything."
As I moved to open the door, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was standing on the cusp of something monumental. A change that would alter not just my life, but perhaps the very fabric of reality itself.
Whatever Vincent's emergency was, whatever mission lay ahead, we’d just have to face it head-on so I could finally put myself first and figure out the madness brewing in my rattled head.
If it meant having to take a leave from the Underground or going somewhere else that would encourage my rest and mental recovery, so be it.
I was done stressing about my health when I could strive for the answers I sought.
Pause work, speak with Elenore, and maybe reach out to her grandma somehow and figure out what the fuck is happening to me before I’m forced into some random mental institution for crazy bitches having visions and revelations.
Like I’ve been experiencing.
With a deep breath, I squared my shoulders and opened the door to face whatever fate had in store for me.
Please universe, let this shit go smoothly for once.