Chapter 10
CHAPTER
TEN
Iwake just as suddenly as I fell into the darkness, and I quickly realise I’m lying on the table in the centre of the cells.
I honestly didn’t know if I would wake up, but it seems he spared me.
I stare up at the curved ceiling, feeling weak in a way I never have before. It’s as if every inch of me has been bruised and broken and put back together. Tiny hammers pound in my head, and for a moment, I hear nothing.
A face appears above mine—Bellami.
I can see his lips moving, but I cannot hear what he’s saying. Panic grips my chest like a vice. I try to say, “I can’t hear you,” but I don’t know if the words come out because I cannot hear them.
I sit upright, and he stops me, his lips moving faster, and I shake my head. Panic begins to consume me until he grips my cheeks and I focus on him.
I think he mouths, “Breathe,” so I take a deep breath in and blow it out. “Give it a minute.” I’m sure it’s something along those lines, although it’s hard to be sure.
He holds me in place as I breathe, and the panic slowly recedes. When my ears pop and sound rushes back in, I slump. “Okay?” he mouths slowly, and I nod.
“I can hear you now. I couldn’t before,” I admit.
“You needed to heal,” he says. “Lie down. You still need to rest. Your body is recovering. You might have powers, but they are not unlimited.”
“Where is—” I cough, and he turns me to my side as I shake. Blood splatters on the floor from my spasms. When it’s over, he rolls me back gently. “The others?”
“They are safe,” he assures me.
“Luan?” I ask, hoping they didn’t hurt him. His name is burned in my head from when I invaded his mind, as are his memories.
“He’s alive . . . for now.” His voice is dark and angry. He must see something in my eyes, however, that tells him I’m not going to stop asking because he sighs and helps me sit up. Bellami sits behind me on the table and props me against him.
Frost is to my left, Corbin is to my right, and chained between them is Luan, his eyes locked on me. He must look cold and angry to others, but I see the worry in his gaze as he stares at me.
If Luan is kneeling there, then it must be voluntary because that’s the only way they could contain him.
I take a moment to drink in this being who nearly ended four of the most powerful supernaturals to walk this earth with a simple thought.
His hair is inky black, as if it’s never seen light, and it falls past the nape of his neck, the front hanging over his left eye in a wave. Matching black eyebrows with two slits in the right one arch high over bright blue irises.
His eyes have a dead quality to them that should scare me, but if anything, I find them beautiful.
His nose is thick, and there is a black line across the bridge, but I do not know if it is a tattoo or a scar.
His lips are pouty and tilted down in a frown, and his thick, sharp jaw is free of stubble despite him being here for God knows how long.
His shirt is torn and ripped down the front, but it’s tucked into trousers with intricate silver patterns down the side.
He is too gorgeous to be real.
“Let him go,” I order.
“Little mate,” Frost begins with a frown.
“Now,” I demand. “We will not chain him. We are not like them. Release him now.”
Frost glares and grinds his jaw, but Corbin reaches down and undoes the chains. Luan does not move or even flex his hands. He just watches me, and Frost growls, “He tried to kill you.”
“He tried to kill us all,” I correct. “If he wanted us dead, then we would be. Those chains would not save us.” I look to Laun. “You decided not to, didn’t you?”
He inclines his head softly, and I smile.
“I am Elara. That growling man is Frost. Corbin is to your right, and this is Bellami,” I tell him. “Tate sent us.”
“I saw,” he admits. “You want my help.”
“Yes,” I reply without shame. “I need it.”
He considers me for a moment. “Okay. May I stand?” When no one protests, he slowly gets to his feet.
He towers over Frost. I didn’t realise how big he was when he was on his knees, but he’s tall as hell.
He simply stands there, not making any sudden movements, as if he knows the other men are still one wrong step away from killing him.
He probably does know it. Hell, he probably sees it.
“I do,” he says, answering my thoughts. “I have no intention of harming any of you.”
“Why?” Corbin demands.
“Her.” He nods at me. “She showed me kindness, and I saw her soul. I have no intention of ending such a pure being or the people she needs. She has earned my loyalty, and with it, so have you.”
“How can we trust that? You could simply be playing with our heads,” Frost snarls.
He meets Frost’s gaze. “I would not do that to people she holds dear. You are just going to have to trust her.”
“He’s right.” I slide off the table. My legs are so weak, I almost fall. They all lunge forward, but Luan catches me and gently lifts me back onto the table before pulling his hands away.
“Slowly,” he instructs.
Blowing out a breath, I nod. “We are going to have to trust each other. We are in this together. You don’t have to like or trust him, but trust me.”
“Well, shit.” Bellami sighs. “Looks like we are working together.”
“I will not apologize for what I did to you.” He looks around. “I thought you had come to either torture or kill me, but I will not harm you again.”
“Most people would apologize,” Bellami scoffs.
“I am not people,” Luan retorts before he looks at me again. “We can leave when you are stronger.”
“We don’t have time for that. We need to move,” I tell him. “There’s one more . . . person?”
“Not a person. Creature. We don’t need him,” Frost mutters. “This one was hard enough. Him? He would kill us before we even get close. Let us take your court now and leave him be.”
“It’s your choice,” Corbin tells me. “It’s dangerous either way. What do you think?”
“I think the more power we have, the better,” I say. “It’s a risk we have to take. I will not put any of my people in danger with a failed attempt.”
I do not mention my fear of what they will do to me again if we fail, but Luan sees it and knows. He says nothing though.
“This one we seek . . . do you know where he is?”
I nod, and Luan looks us over.
“Then let us go when you are ready. You should eat before we leave.”
“There is a fridge. One second.” Corbin disappears, and when he returns, he has a plate piled high with food and drinks, which he spreads over the table then waves me on. “Eat.”
Under their watchful gazes, I down as much as I can, and when I’m done, they finish it off. The sugar helps, and I feel better. I’m not at full power, but we can’t wait. We need to find Eversor.
With Luan in tow, we leave the black site, and once we are outside of it, he looks back at it and spits on the ground before turning as Frost shifts. “I will find my own way—”
“This is ours,” I tell him as I climb onto Frost. He doesn’t complain as Luan climbs onto his back with no further protest. Frost simply takes off into the air and heads south.
I remember the directions. We need to go past the black sand beaches to the edge of the world, then through a storm to the island.
It will be far away, which will give me time to heal.
I sleep on and off, trusting Corbin and Frost to keep me in the air as my body heals, while Bellami watches Luan. It’s cold up here, but I don’t complain, not when Frost is flying hundreds of miles for us.
The farther we get away from my court, however, the more my panic grows. I have been away too long.
They are suffering, and that eats away at me. When this is all done, I will never get over the fact that they hurt because of me.
Hours later, Frost slows and lands in an open field. “I must rest,” he says, and I know it costs him to admit that.
“I will hunt for food,” Corbin offers, “if you can build a fire.”
Surprisingly, it’s Bellami who agrees. “I can do that. Frost, you rest. You too.” He nods at me.
I slide off Frost and hesitate at his side, unsure where to go, but when I see Luan silently slipping away, I follow him. I’m quiet, but I know he senses me. He sits on the edge of a small cliff that overlooks more fields, and in the distance, I see sparkling dark water and black sand.
I sit at his side, leaving some distance between us.
“I know you know what happened to me,” I say, but I can’t bring myself to look at him as I speak. “I know you . . . saw it. I would appreciate it if you never told anyone.”
“Your memories are your own. I would never,” he replies, and I nod.
“I’m scared, you know? I know you already know, but I am.” I laugh bitterly.
“Of what? I did not delve. You are allowed to have your secrets,” he promises.
Turning my head, I meet his brilliant eyes, my eyebrows drawing together as fear courses through me like poison in my veins.
“Of failing,” I whisper. “Not just because of what it would mean for my people, but for me. That makes me selfish, correct? I’m scared of what they will do to me if we fail and they capture me again. ”
He runs his eyes over my face. “That will not happen. I will not allow it.” His lips tilt in a cruel smile that should not comfort me but does.
“I will simply destroy their minds so they can never see you again, never mind touch you. I will not let us fail. None of us would. I saw that in their minds. They would die before they let that happen. You inspire loyalty.”
Looking away again, I focus on his words. “I don’t know why they are so willing to help me.”
“Yes, you do. You simply do not wish to know, which is fine,” he responds, refusing to let me lie to him. “I have a feeling they do not mind so long as they get to be at your side.”
“I don’t think I could ever give them what they want.
” I steal a quick glance at him as I admit that.
“Not after what was done to me. They turned my body against me. It doesn’t even feel like mine anymore.
It feels wrong and dirty, and the idea of someone else touching it and getting that dirt on them?
It horrifies me.” I shiver as I wrap my arms around myself, hating the weakness inside me.
“Your body is your own,” Luan whispers.
“No. It’s not.” I meet his gaze. “They took it from me and made it theirs. My body doesn’t even feel safe to me anymore.” Shame fills me, and I hiccup over the next words, needing to force them out. “What’s worse is I liked it. My body liked what he did to me.”
His eyes soften for a moment, and he offers me his hand.
I lift mine and lay it in his. He covers it with his other, and that’s where I look as he speaks.
“That is a normal bodily reaction, Elara. Orgasming does not mean you enjoyed it, liked it, or wanted it, nor does it make you wrong, disgusting, or dirty. It makes you normal. They used your body against you, and I am so sorry for that. It is a weapon they used to cut you. You bleed, no? That is all it is. Nothing more.”
My eyes burn, and I try to bite back the pain as I raise my gaze to his.
“I feel like I’m bleeding all the time. The only thing keeping me going, keeping me alive, is the fact that I need to save my people.
After that, I don’t think there will be anything left for me.
My family is gone, and my people could and should blame me. ”
“You have us—the outcasts. We need you. We carry the same anguish. We do not fit anywhere. We are driven by anger and pain. We need you, Elara. Can’t you see that?
When this is over, we are not going anywhere.
We will figure this out together, but I can promise you one thing—not one of us would ever think you are dirty or less than.
You are magnificent, intelligent, brave, and kind, even in the worst moments.
You are a pure soul.” Not once does he mention my powers or looks, and for some reason, that helps my heart heal a little.
“You are more than your body. You are more than what they did to you, just as I am more than that as well. We all carry scars no one sees. I think time and being together might heal them. If you let us, Elara, we will try to heal yours. If you never give yourself to us, that does not matter. All I ask is that you let me be at your side. Nothing more.”
“You do not know me,” I whisper.
“I know you better than you know yourself,” he admits.
“I know you better than anyone else ever will. We will save your people, Elara, and then we will work on saving you.” He turns his head and smiles.
“Little reasons that will fill a lifetime, like this. Look, Elara. Look at the beauty of this world. There is so much to see, make that one of your reasons.”
“A view is not something to live for,” I retort, even as I look out, seeing what he sees.
“Then we will find things that are,” he responds, our hands still pressed together. That small touch feels comforting in a way it shouldn’t. This man could see everything he wanted, but he seems content to sit beside me, and I worry about what I saw in his head.
I know he carries pain as well, but I will never speak of the snippets I saw. It is his trauma to deal with, but maybe he’s right.
Maybe it’s all about giving yourself reasons to live, even when you don’t want to. This view might not be strong enough to be a motive for me, but making sure this man finds safety and happiness?
That would be one.