Chapter 17
CHAPTER
SEVENTEEN
We are quiet as we head back, lost in our thoughts, but I feel Bellami and Corbin sparing me searching looks, no doubt worried about how I’m feeling after what we just did.
They aren’t the only ones.
Using the silence and time as we walk through the words, I can only settle on one undeniable fact—I feel good.
It didn’t hurt, make me feel sick, or remind me of the nonconsensual touches of the men who hurt me. It was just me and Bellami and the pleasure we created. Moreover, I feel fuller than I ever have before. I don’t feel anything but . . .
Good.
It shocks me to my core. Shouldn’t I hate touch?
Shouldn’t I be disgusted? Shouldn’t my body be unable to work properly after what they did?
I don’t know, and guilt assaults me before I realise that it is my body, and I will heal how I see fit.
It is not wrong to enjoy pleasure, and I don’t want it to be.
I want to be who I was before, or as close to that person as I can be.
Maybe that’s why when we get back to our camp, I take a deep breath as I face my monsters.
I search their gazes as they look at me, no doubt sensing something is happening.
“I want to fuck you.” The words are confident, and as they all blink at me, I quickly search their faces, deciding on who.
I’ve tested Bellami, and we shouldn’t feed again.
I could have Corbin, because he would be safe, as would Frost. They would never hurt me, never do anything to make me feel anything close to what I did before, but that wild, untamed part of me doesn’t want that.
I want to push my limits. I want to know if I’m truly broken forever.
I need to know before I face the ones responsible, so my eyes land on Eversor, and I swallow hard. “I want to fuck you.”
For the first time ever, he is shocked.
It’s probably foolish, and it will probably undo everything I have accomplished so far, but the basic truth is, I need this.
I need to know.
“Cor meum,” Luan murmurs. “If you wish to fuck one of us, why not Frost or Corbin?” he begins as Frost steps forward.
“I am always at your service.” He drops to his knees, tamed and kind. Despite his size and what he is, he would rather destroy himself than hurt me. I don’t need that. I need someone who won’t be gentle with me. I need someone to use me the way I need to use them.
I need someone who doesn’t care.
“I believe she demanded it of me.” Eversor speaks, drawing my gaze to him.
“I am curious as to why. You have your little monsters here eager to touch you, yet you want the only one who does not truly care if you live or die.” He tilts his head.
“Purposeful, I believe.” Something passes through his eyes.
“Fine, little human, you think you can claim my body? Go ahead.” He spreads his arms. “I am not easy to conquer though.”
“Elara.” Corbin’s voice draws my attention. He doesn’t tell me I’m foolish, nor does he judge me. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.” I tilt my chin back. “I will not apologise for that, if that’s what you want.”
“You never have to apologise to us.” He frowns. “It is your life, your body, and your decision.”
That shocks me, and I look over to Luan, Bellami, and Frost, who simply nod. I notice some jealousy in their gazes, as well as desire, but none make a move or grow angry, so I glance to Eversor again. He smirks. I’m going to do this. I’m going to test myself
“I want to try,” I admit. I don’t know if I’ll be okay, but I want to try.
I came tonight thanks to Bellami, and it felt freeing.
I want that again. I want to be in charge of my own body and desire, and besides, I don’t want to return broken, showing them they ruined me.
I want to walk back in as the queen I once was, and that means I need to take back everything they stole, including my power.
I will not give them one more ounce of control over me. I freed myself from those shackles, and it’s time I remembered that.
Blowing out a breath, I drop my hands to my sides and stop their nervous twitching. I let everything else disappear, and the newly gained power I got from feeding surges forward, sensing my intention.
For the first time since I was taken against my will, I let my powers emerge and transform me into the succubus I have always been.
Desire coats my skin, my eyes blaze like the brightest jewels, and as I walk towards Eversor, I know sex drips from every inch of me.
It hits him when I’m close enough, and I see him physically shiver before he hardens.
I stop before him, my head tilted back as I drag my tongue along my lower lip.
He watches the movement before seeming to shake himself out of it.
“You think you’re the first to try to seduce me with powers?” He wraps his hand around my throat. “Foolish mortal. Others have tried harder. You think it will work?”
“Yes,” I murmur as I lean in, despite his tightening hand, and press my lips to his. “Because despite your words, and despite your hatred for me, you want me too. I see it every time you look at me.”
His hold tightens on my throat to the point of pain. “You test me, mortal,” he warns.
“I don’t want to test you, I want to fuck you,” I retort crudely as I press my hands against his chest and bite his lip until I taste his blood, then I soothe it away. He sways into me, his eyes blazing with want and hatred. We are bound, we are enemies, and that’s exactly what I need.
Sliding my hands down his chest, I shove him back, and it’s a testament to how focused he is on my mouth that he doesn’t resist it. He hits the ground, and before he can leap up, I straddle him.
His pincers emerge from his back, hovering in the air.
Their sharp, venomous points are a warning, one I don’t heed.
My eyes do widen in shock as magic brushes across us, and we are suddenly naked.
For a moment, I’m back there to that night, but his growl of warning snaps me back to reality.
My nipples tighten as the air brushes across them, the blush of my lust spreading down my neck to my chest as he watches me.
He did it. He stripped us despite his protests.
Reaching between my legs, I stroke my pussy as he tracks the movement, not even surprised at the wetness there.
I don’t want foreplay. I just need to do this. I need him. I need his hate and power, but there’s one thing about trying to fuck a god like him . . .
He doesn’t make it easy. He’s powerful, strong, and wants me to prove I’m worth it.
Part of me wants to show that I am, but another part of me just wants him. I’m terrified of him, and I hate him, but I want him so badly that I’m dripping with need. It was all I thought about the entire walk back, winding me up.
Lifting my hips, I grab his length. Like the rest of him, it’s massive.
His shaft is long and curved, and the tip is pointed like one of his pincers, where black precum beads.
I worry for a moment it will be venomous like the tips of his other appendages, but he says nothing, so neither do I.
He throbs in my hand, so big I can’t even close my fingers around him, yet the heat of him has my pussy clenching, wanting it inside me.
I glance at him as I move higher and press him to my entrance, then I work him inside.
The black depths of his eyes are filled with desire and hatred, his lips are contorted in a snarl, and one of his pincers swings towards me before it’s knocked back and held to the earth.
I turn my head around to see Frost there, pinning the writhing appendage.
The other brushes my neck before it, too, is pulled back by Corbin and Bellami, who grunt under its strength.
Eversor roars, his back bowing, and the force of him arching pushes him deep inside me.
A gasp escapes my lips as I drop down and impale myself on his length.
The burn of pain is a reminder of my past, but it soon disappears as his red-hot length spears me, pressing against every inch of my walls, and I can’t help but move.
I roll my hips, sparks of pleasure overwhelming the pain until I crave more and move faster.
He snarls below me, fighting the others’ holds even as his hips lift, pushing his cock deeper inside me. I ride him, chasing that sensation. I’m shocked to my core because it feels so good, but slowly, other sensations and memories float back.
Other bodies that have been on mine. Other people who have been inside me.
Grinding my hips, I pinch my nipples, desperately fighting off panic that lingers in my mind, even as tears fill my eyes. I blink them away as I grind faster, pressing my clit into his body, but climax remains out of reach.
As if I can’t.
As if I’m broken.
That breaks the barrier inside me and all those cruel, taunting hands return, bringing panic, anguish, and dark thoughts.
A sob rips from my throat, shocking everyone as I wrap my arms around my bare chest, shivering in agony as I close my eyes and block them out so I don’t have to see their sympathy or disgust.
“What’s wrong?” Bellami asks, attuned to me.
“Nothing. I’m sorry. I was stupid.” I go to climb off Eversor when hands press against my hips from behind, keeping me there. A soft voice fills my ear.
Luan.
“Talk to us.” He lets me lean back into him, his hands gently brushing along my thighs, and my eyes open to see Corbin on one side and Frost on the other. Eversor’s eyes blaze up at me, nothing but desire in them.
“I can’t come.” I hiccup. “I’m trying, but there’s something wrong with me, something broken from what they did—”
“Shh.” Luan nips my ear, and I shiver despite my bleakness.
“You’re not broken. You came earlier,” Bellami reminds me softly. “You are overthinking it. If you want to stop, though, you can.”
“I want—I want this.” I sob harder, feeling ashamed. “But I’m too ruined.”
Their hands caress my body, their touch comforting rather than triggering, and desire slowly begins to rebuild from their soft, exploring hands.
Luan’s voice fills my ear. “You’re not ruined. Look at him. Look at what you have done to the god below you.”
My eyes open hesitantly, and I meet Eversor’s gaze. His pincers are shoved deep into the earth, and his chest is arched up and heaving. He looks wild and wanting, jerking inside me despite my outburst.
“Look what you’ve done and how badly he wants you. You could never be ruined. Trust us, let us help you.” His hands clutch my hips and urge me to move. I slowly roll my hips, tears still sliding down my cheeks.
“That’s it, little mate,” Frost urges. “Look at you. Look at how magnificent you are. I would kill to be below you right now. I would lie still for as long as you needed—hours, days, years—just to feel you coming around me.”
“As would I,” Corbin adds.
“We all would,” Luan murmurs in my ear. “Eversor included. He wants you to use him. He wants to feel you come, and we’ll keep him there for as long as you need. Just trust us.”
I relax slightly, that panic receding, and I move my hips with him.
Sparks of pleasure ignite and grow until the inferno is burning through me. “That’s it, look at you,” Luan praises in my ear. “So beautiful. Can you feel him? Does it feel good?
I nod, my eyes on Eversor below me as his sharp teeth snap at the air and he lifts his hips to bury himself deeper inside me.
“Tell us how he feels,” Luan murmurs.
“Good,” I admit. “He feels good. I can feel him deep inside me. I’m so wet, it doesn’t hurt.
It feels so good.” I gasp as Luan tilts me back until Eversor’s cock drags along my walls, hitting that spot that sends ecstasy spiralling through me.
Luan’s hand slides across my stomach and presses down, making me feel how deep Eversor is buried within me.
“Oh fuck.” I move faster, and Luan kisses my neck.
“Touch yourself,” he whispers. “It’s your body, your pleasure. He’s just for you to use, so touch yourself and let us see how beautiful and powerful you are.”
I hesitate before sliding my hand down and through my pussy.
I flick my clit, rubbing it in a way that gets me off, yet it all feels foreign to me now.
I soon fall back into a comfortable rhythm, rubbing and rolling my hips.
Pleasure builds until it takes over, and their urgings continue.
Hands stroke my body, holding Eversor down for me as I ride him.
I don’t think of anything else. I just think of them, of him inside me, and I don’t rush it.
I feel the slowly growing wave intent on washing me clean, not drowning me.
“Good girl, like that,” Luan coos. “Don’t overthink it, just feel him and the pleasure.”
I focus on how it feels. Eversor is buried inside of me, unlike I’ve ever felt another. He’s so different, more animal than human right now, and I feel so powerful with a god like him being used for my pleasure.
Then, shocking me to my core, an orgasm rips through me.
My spine bows as I cry out.
Luan holds me though it as I shake and shiver, the force making me drop down Eversor’s entire length. “Good job, you did so well,” he praises, kissing my throat. “See? You are not broken. You are perfect.”
Nodding, I breathe through the pleasure, and when my eyes open, I meet Eversor’s gaze. I see it the moment before it happens and try to scramble away, but I’m not fast enough.
He surges up, tired of being pinned down, and it’s then I realise he was only playing along.
Not anymore.