Chapter 30
CHAPTER
THIRTY
Istep out onto the balcony I escaped over not long ago, watching the glee on my people’s faces as my court chases the stumbling, screaming man. I feel no pity or joy, only success. My court is free, but I know the memories will linger for a long time.
“Rethia.” I turn to find Samantha standing behind me. “What are your orders?”
“Why are you not with the others?”
“I don’t need revenge, I just wanted victory,” she replies before kneeling. “I would ask only one thing.”
“Ask,” I murmur softly.
“Your mother’s maid, her adviser, died with her, and I would be honoured if I could be yours and assist you with the court.”
Smiling gently, I step towards Samantha and pull her to her feet. “I would be honoured to have you at my side.”
Her smile is wide and happy. “I await your instruction, rethia.” She bows deeply.
“When they are back, we will begin to work. Free everyone. I want the entire court cleansed of those men’s effects. We will return this place to its original glory. It will not be a quick job, but it’s one we should start.”
“Yes, rethia,” she replies, but as she turns to leave, I suck in a slow breath.
“My mother’s body . . .” My voice wobbles, and I feel my men step closer. “And Teresa’s, what did they do with them?”
“Rethia.” Samantha bows her head when I turn to her. “You do not wish to know.”
“Tell me,” I command.
She sinks to her knees, almost prostrating before me. “Please do not make me speak it, rethia.”
“Please, I need to hear it. It cannot be worse than the nightmares I have had.” I kneel before her, and she lifts her head. Horror contorts her face when she realises I’m on her level. Touching her arm softly, I hold her gaze. “Please, Samantha, I need to know.”
“I’m so sorry, rethia,” she croaks, tears flowing down her face.
“We tried to stop them.” When I don’t speak, she surges ahead, my heart clenching in my chest like it’s going to shatter.
I know it’s going to be bad. “They kept them in the throne room for a few days, stripped them bare, and posed them. Some of the men took advantage . . .” For a moment, I see nothing but blackness, rage like I’ve never felt before consuming me, and she hurries on.
“We managed to get them out, wanting to put them to rest. Some of our people were caught and punished, but we hid their bodies. We couldn’t bury them as is our custom, so we protected them. ”
“They’ve never had peace.” My voice is cold, not betraying the storm I feel inside. “Thank you for doing that.” Rising to my feet, I prowl into the throne room, knowing my monsters are following me. I can sense their concern, but I ignore it.
My mother and Teresa were not afforded dignity even in death. The visions won’t stop. An idea takes root, the rot filling my soul, and I can almost hear his laughter and his last words.
You’ll never escape me.
He was right. I won’t.
Heading towards the banquet table, I sigh heavily before jumping into action.
My scream echoes around the room as I sweep my hand across it.
Plates and glasses crash to the floor as I yank on the cloth and tear it before moving to the next table and doing the same.
I am like a hurricane, a force of nature, tearing apart everything within reach until my hands bleed and I stumble from exhaustion.
It’s not enough, not nearly enough, but a quiet sob has me stiffening. I’m not alone with just my men.
“He made it to the trees, though not whole,” Belinda says with a soft expression, tears reflected in her eyes as she watches me.
When I turn, my entire court is on their knees with tears sliding down their cheeks.
“We will not offer their bodies respect either!” I roar.
“Take them outside and into the forest as a warning. Put their heads on spikes so everyone will know!” Breathing heavily, I tilt my chin back.
“We will hold a burial ceremony for our dead, including our queen and Teresa, tomorrow, and guide them into the afterlife. For tonight, we will grieve those we lost and patch our wounds. Tomorrow, we will heal.” I turn away and sweep from the room, practically running when I’m out of sight.
They need me to lead, but right now, I’m just a grieving child.
I’ve not really had time to think of my mother since her death, but now, her ghost haunts me, and before I know it, I find myself at her door.
I prepare for what I might find as I push inside.
It’s dark, and the air smells stale, but flames burst to life, and I know I have the men behind me to thank.
I can’t bring myself to meet their gazes.
They kept their end of the deal and helped me take my court back, so they will leave now and I will be alone again.
Shame and grief round my shoulders as I examine my mother’s rooms.
It looks the same as it did that night, as if no one has entered since.
Maybe even those who took over could sense the holiness of this space and wouldn’t enter.
I feel her with every step I take. Memories assault me, though this time they are good.
She would do my makeup while sitting at the armoire over there.
Teresa and I would try on her dresses while she watched.
We spent nights dining secretly to spend time together.
Warmth blooms in my chest, as if she were here right now, trying to comfort me, but she isn’t.
I’m alone, and her rooms are as dead and empty as she is.
Sinking into her bed, I grip the fabric and hold on.
If I don’t, I might float away with the memories.
A sob breaks free when I realise it still smells like her. Burying my face into her sheets, I wrap myself up in them and scream until my throat aches and I can’t anymore.
I feel them around the room, protecting me while offering me space. I cannot bring myself to speak, to look at them. Instead, I keep my swollen eyes closed until I fall asleep.
Sometime later, something rouses me. At first, I don’t know what it is as I sit up and peer into the darkened room.
The candles have burnt out, but the curtains have been opened to admit moonlight.
The room seems cold, as if it’s dropping in temperature, and then I see him at the door.
I don’t know where the others are, but I know he’s here.
He is the nightmare they all fear, but to me, he is just Eversor.
Rising as gracefully as I can, I walk to the middle of the room, then I sink to my knees, knowing what he wants.
“I keep my word. My court is free, and now so shall you be. My life is yours, Eversor. It has been since the moment you brought me back in that cave.” I hold my arms out to my sides as if welcoming him.
He appears from the shadows like he’s stepping from behind a shield.
His eyes are dark as shadows crawl across his skin, his pincers out behind him.
He leaves distance between us, and I hate it.
As I stare into his familiar, cruel face, I wish I could sink into his arms like I did before.
Even then, in the tunnels, he never made false promises or lied to me, and I appreciated it.
I didn’t know how much I would come to rely on him until now, when I look into his eyes and know it’s over.
We both knew this day would come. I have accepted my death despite the others’ arguments. The moment I accidentally bound him, I knew what it meant.
“You wish for death that easily?”
“No. I want to live.” It’s the truth, one I didn’t grasp until I faced my court.
“I want to live and see this place brought back to its former glory. I want to live and honour my mother and try to be half the queen she was, but I owe you my life, and I will gladly give it. I will not be another chain that tethers you. I have been a prisoner before, and I will never become someone’s keeper for that very reason. Take my life, it’s yours.”
He doesn’t move for a moment, and I wait. When he finally does, he kneels before me, close enough to touch. I allow myself a weakness for once, stroking his face with a featherlight touch. “I’m glad I met you.”
“Even now?” he asks, his voice cold.
“Even now,” I answer without hesitation. “You taught me to be fierce. When I was broken and lost, you didn’t put me back together. You showed me how to do it myself. I got my wish, so now it’s time for yours. Be free. Explore the world and gain what you want from it.”
“I wish this could end differently,” he admits, showing a shred of fondness.
“I don’t.” Cupping his face, I lean in and kiss him softly. “I knew caring for you would mean death. I accept it willingly.” Letting go, I sit back and wait.
“It will hurt,” he warns. “I cannot change that.”
“It’s fine. You’re worth the pain.”
His pincers rise, but I don’t flinch. I wait for the blow, but when they spear my body, the agony is unlike anything I’ve ever felt. I bite back the cry of pain, refusing to upset him. They bury deep within me, and I feel one pierce my heart.
I smile despite the weakness filling my body as his pincers tear into my organs. His arms wrap around me softly, embracing me like a lover’s caress, and I go willingly.
“You are the strongest being I have ever met,” he whispers in my ear as his pincers pull from my body. I feel the poison spreading as he pulls back and holds my head. My body sways and falls, but he catches me, holding my face as death starts to claim me.
I feel my soul leaving from my wounds, but I simply smile as I fight to keep my eyes on him for as long as I can. Then, all I know is blackness, until the air is let back in the room and my eyes open to find his inches away. His lips are pressed to mine, breathing life back into me.
This is the second time he’s brought me back. Why?
I must ask it out loud because he cradles me in his arms, stroking my face.
“I think stealing your life would deprive the world of something it needs.”
“Is that the only reason?” I ask hoarsely as I lie in his arms as the rest of me comes back to life.
“It might deprive me of something as well,” he confesses as he slowly releases me. I fall back, still feeling weak, and look at him as he rises above me.
“Your freedom—”
“Is not worth the cost. I will find a way.” His pincers are gone, and he’s nothing but darkness above me. “I knew the moment you stepped onto my island that you would be trouble. I couldn’t have guessed how much I would enjoy it though. Live your life. Do all that you wish. It’s yours now.”
“Goodbye,” I whisper, knowing that’s what this is. “I hope you find what you’re looking for.”
“As do I.” The swirling ball of darkness moves.
The window flings open, and then he is gone, another shadow in the night, leaving me behind.
He didn’t kill me, but he took a part of me with him.
I wonder if I will ever see him again.
It’s probably for the best, but part of me aches for him and what we could have had if life had not been so cruel.
The door slams open, and I turn to see a frantic Corbin, Frost, Ami, and Luan. “We couldn’t get in. Are you okay?”
They hurry to my side, but my eyes go to the window. “I’m okay.” When I meet Luan’s gaze, I realise he knows I’m lying.