Chapter 6 #7
The Trading Post is also open already, and I see Bryn and Morgan standing under the overhang, speaking to a couple of the village women.
I don't stop, but I notice some of Tavish's men glaring at Bryn and my friend, and I decide to keep an extra close watch over my human, especially as Tavish’s traders the only ones able to go in and out of Halsford now, while the rest who live here are unknowing prisoners.
There’s so much that I didn’t anticipate when I decided to bring Bryn to the Light. I assumed she’d be welcomed when I told the council of her bravery, and that she’d saved the mission.
But things are much more difficult for her now, despite her unshakable joy that she’s here.
I didn’t want that. She’s been through enough.
She deserves a life in the Light, one that’s a part of Halsford…
where the naysayers can meet her and get to know her, see that she’s good and kind, that she’s much like they are.
As I pass the apothecary, an idea strikes me, and I go inside.
There are crystals and orbs hanging from the ceiling, and many jars and vases, some glass, some earthenware. There’s a lingering scent of sweet spice in the air as well as sage and lavender. I knock on the door that leads to the adjacent room where the healer on duty plies his or her trade.
Jak opens the door. When he sees it's me, his mouth sets into a grim line.
‘What do you want?’
I step inside without being asked, and he’s forced to move back to accommodate me.
'I'm sorry,' I blurt.
'I know you're sorry,' he snarls back just as quickly. 'But no amount of sorrys can put right what you've done.'
'I know that,' I say, turning my head up to the ceiling and closing my eyes. 'What I did was wrong. If I could go back, I would have found another way. One that didn’t involve Bryn at all.’
‘Indeed? You now think that perhaps there was another way to get the information that we needed without almost destroying our female and all of your friendships?’ Jak spits. ‘If only you had realized that before!’
The look I give him is imploring.
'Jak,’ I begin, drawing on the practice I did in front of the looking glass this morning when I was alone. ‘What I did to you was in some ways even worse than what I did to Morgan.’
He says nothing, but his jaw tenses.
'With your past in The Fold. With Varrik?—'
'Don't!’ He snorts. 'You have no idea. The fact that you would have even used a conjure on me in such a way, when you know, when you’re one of the very few I’ve ever confided in…
You know the tricks he used, the memory conjures, the magicks to make us love him, the time that I lost and regained years later, the awful things I remember doing on his orders.
Gods only know what I did during the months that I still can’t recall. ’
His nostrils flare and he hits me hard across the cheek with the back of his hand in his anger. I let him.
‘What you did, Locke,’ he continues in a low tone. ‘They weren’t the actions of a brother. And you were my brother.’
I nod jerkily.
‘I know,’ I whisper.
‘I’m disgusted with myself,' I admit, ‘and I am so sorry, my friend. I promise you that I will never ever do anything like that ever again. To you, or to Morgan.'
'And what about Bryn?' he snarls. ‘What you did to her was worse. Months in the pits. She killed to survive. Did you know that? It weighs heavily upon her.’
'I know,' I say. 'But I'm trying to make amends. I was thinking on the way home… We should help her find her place here, help Halsford to see what we see. There are good people here. They’re just scared to speak up because of Tavish and his men making things difficult for them.'
‘Go on,’ Jak says warily.
'I wondered if perhaps you would…' I look around the room meaningfully.
'Have her here? As a healer?’
‘Why not?' I ask. 'She has some rudimentary knowledge from The Barrack. She knows many herbs, if not their names, then by their smell. She could be an asset to the village. She could help. Then, perhaps they’d be more accepting of her. They might even help her in return.'
Jak nods slowly. 'She may be interested. I will broach it with her tonight.’
I turn to leave.
‘It's a good idea, Locke.'
I smile grimly. It’s a start, I think as I go back into the apothecary.
'Locke.'
I glance back at him.
'Perhaps I can trust you again one day, but it's going to be a long time.'
'Do you think we'll ever get back to where we were?' I ask, swallowing hard.
'I don't know.'
'I understand,’ I say and close the door firmly behind me.
I go back to the cottage with a heavy heart, and find that Bryn and Morgan still aren't back yet. Instead of staying indoors, I decide to go out in search of them, not because I think they’ll desire my company, but because I need to know that Bryn is safe.
After all I’ve heard this morning, I wouldn’t put it past Voss or Calder to simply steal her away.
I debate for only a moment before I decide to put the barest conjure on her the first chance I get. A way to track her in case she does go missing. It doesn’t count, I say to myself.
Not if it’s to keep her safe.