Courted by the Fae (The Dark Realms #4)

Chapter 10 #3

I turn back to Locke. He's standing where he was against the tree, just watching me.

'What's happening?' Bryn asks, and I grit my teeth.

I know what must have happened at Gwen's house. Bryn needed what she sometimes does, and neither Morgan nor me were there to sate it, so she had to choose Locke.

And I blame him because he’s the one who said we should go in opposite directions to look for our human, while conveniently choosing the right way.

'You knew where she'd be,' I accuse.

He shakes his head.

'No,' he says, and it's muffled by his hand over his jaw, across his mouth. There's blood streaming from between his fingers. 'I didn't know for sure.'

'But you knew something. How?'

'Because I've been watching her,' he snarls, wiping the blood with the back of his hand. 'Of course I have. As if I'd let her go anywhere by herself, especially with Voss.'

Morgan lets out a sound of fury. ‘We didn’t want to either, but we can’t leave Halsford’s wards. You can though, you prick. Kept that quiet, didn’t you?’

‘Aye, I can,' he hisses, ‘and you should be glad that I was able to! Bryn has enemies, the same as us. And I’d sooner trust a wraith with her wellbeing than Calder or his lapdog, so I made sure I was nearby. They never knew it.’

'That's where you've been over these past days?' I ask. 'Not with Dane and Lia talking strategy?'

He stands silent and stoic.

'More lies,' I hiss. 'Gods, do you even know how to stop?'

His jaw works, but he says nothing. His eyes flash in anger.

'Go on, then,' I say. 'Argue. Tell me your side of it.'

'What side is there to tell?' he snarls. 'You've already decided what I am.'

'Because of what you have done!' Morgan yells. 'What you did to Bryn. What you did to us.'

'I've said that I’m sorry a hundred times. I know what I did was wrong.'

'Do you?' I snarl. 'Because you lie even by omission, it seems! You knew about the village wards. You knew you could leave them, yet you said nothing.'

Locke takes a deep breath. ‘Of course I can leave the wards. There are ways, as a mage, if one knows how. Just as Dane can. Just as Voss can.'

'Why did you send us in another direction when you knew where Bryn would be?'

'I didn't know for sure.'

'But you did want to be the one to find her.'

'Yes.'

'Why? Did you know that she was having another attack coming on? Did you know that she would need you?'

'What?' His brow furrows. 'No, of course not. That's not what I?—'

Bryn is shaking her head. 'No. That’s not how it was. I didn't need anything. That's not what this was about.'

'You found her by the river by design,' I mutter. ‘Did you make her want you? Create some need the same as you made her survive in the pits?’

Bryn gasps, her wide eyes finding Locke’s.

'No, Bryn. I didn’t,' Locke says, stepping toward her. 'I wouldn’t! Fuck you, Jak. That's not true.'

I back away, angry and upset. 'You're just like him, you cunt.'

'I'm not,' he snarls, knowing exactly who I’m talking about. 'I am not like Varrik.'

'Varrik would say the same as you, that the ends justify the means. He did anything he wanted, and he never felt a moment's hesitation or guilt. Just. Like. You!’

I lunge forward and shove Locke hard in the chest.

'I killed for him,' I snarl, grabbing his tunic and dragging him close, ‘countless times, and he made me forget what I had done.'

I push myself away. 'I didn't even remember. It wasn’t until years later that some of my memories returned. Even now, I don’t know if I recall everything. I yearn for revenge, but the cunt is long dead. I’ll never have it.’

I haul in a long breath and feel Bryn's tentative hand on my shoulder. She doesn't say anything, but she doesn't need to. I cover her fingers with mine.

'I know,' Locke says quietly.

Morgan looks commiserating.

'What happened?' Bryn asks me quietly.

'Some humans got into the fold where we lived.

Our home. I don't know how. I wonder now if perhaps Varrik let them in on purpose.

I was young, only a novice healer and I found them wandering.

I told our lord. He laughed and said that I should take care of them, get rid of them.

Prove myself. I asked how. He threw a blade at my feet.

I was horrified. I was training to be a healer, not a killer. '

I shake my head, covering my eyes with my hand.

'I told him no. And then it was as if I was watching what I was doing from inside my own body, as if my eyes were merely windows.

He made me do it. He made me want to do it.

I had a smile on my face. Two males and three females.

One was young, a girl, perhaps fifteen. I killed them all.

I threw their bodies in the river. Afterward, he was full of pride, like a father, and I was glad because I wanted his esteem, but then, he removed whatever conjure he had on me.

I was horrified by what I had done. I told him so.

He laughed at me, and said I was as useless to him as a sniveling weakling.

Then, he made me forget that any of it had happened. '

My stomach twists, and I fear that I'm going to retch, as I have countless times when I think about those years.

‘And that was just the first time.’

I point at Locke. ‘That is what mages like Varrik and Locke do,' I hiss.

'They use their conjures to warp and twist you until you don't even know who you are.

Bryn, you may be bound to him for now, but you should stay away from him.

We all should. He's a fucking millstone around our necks, one that will drag us to our dooms if we let it. '

‘I’m not him,’ Locke whispers.

I snarl and turn away without another word, stalking down the wooded path briskly, ignoring Locke.

I hear Bryn and Morgan come after me. I glance back to see Locke trailing behind them, walking more slowly, as if going to his death.

I glance around. There's no snow here, and it looks to be full spring, with green buds on the trees and flies buzzing in the air. The dappled sunlight that reaches through the trees to the mossy ground is warm.

'Why didn't we have to go to the Dark Realms first?' Morgan asks my back. 'I thought we couldn't go between places in the Light Realm without first leaving it.'

I shrug.

'The Harbinger,' I say, throwing up my hands. 'Dane's magick, perhaps. I didn't ask. There was…an urgency. Lia was adamant that we shouldn't go back to the village, not even to grab supplies.' I glance at my friend. 'There’s something else going on. Something more. With the Underhill, I think.’

I slow my pace. I’ve been thinking the same.

‘Voss being there tonight by the river doesn’t make sense. Calder wants Bryn alive. He truly believes she can lure Fiana out. Why would he have her killed.’

‘Or, perhaps Lia wanting us in Kitore has nothing to do with that,’ Morgan says with a shrug.

‘It could simply be that the Council Five are dragging their feet, as I said, and Lia’s afraid they won’t make a decision in time.

She wants to have the best chance of using the intel that we were able to gather. '

'Don’t you mean that Locke was able to gather off Bryn's back?’ I sneer.

Morgan ignores me. 'What's in the bag Lia gave you? Have you checked?'

I shake my head. 'I will once we get to the city, and then I'll go out to the markets for anything else we need. Look in the front pocket though. There should be an illusion medallion for each of us, courtesy of Dane. Put it on. Give one to that cunt behind us and don't take it off within the city limits. The wards haven’t disappeared anyone in a while, but no fae should go in there without protection these days, not even Locke.’

Morgan takes the coin-like talisman and puts it around his neck. Before my eyes, he becomes half a head shorter. He’s still quite tall and broad, but he’s now well within what’s passable for a human man. His ears round and his flesh pinkens.

Huh. I hadn't realized how gray he is usually.

I know I stay much the same as normal. It’s just my ears that change slightly. I’ve been to Kitore before, of course, and last time I didn’t have one of these. I suppose I’m lucky the wards didn’t do anything untoward to me.

'Where is the city from here?' Bryn asks, looking at the steep hills in front of us with a frown.

'It's not as far as you think. We should be there before full dark.'

‘It was already so dark in the Mountains,’ she murmurs.

Morgan nods. ‘The sun sets much earlier up there, and rises later. The cliffs obscure it.’

We make our way down the path and it isn't long before the trees thin out and we find ourselves on a well-worn road.

It snakes around more small patches of trees, and then the sprawling city comes into view suddenly.

Its towers are tall and its stone walls high, yet all are hidden until the last moments by the surrounding grass-covered tors.

I hear Bryn’s outward breath as she takes in the sight.

'Come,' I say. 'The time's getting on, and the light will soon wane completely. It's best we get to the Library before the sun is down fully. The guards will be less suspicious in the day. Let me do the talking. I've been here more than once.'

'What's it like?' Bryn asks.

I grin at her as she falls into step beside me.

'You'll have to see for yourself,' I tease.

She simpers at me, and I chuckle.

'Where else did you go?' she asks. 'Here in the Light Realm, I mean.'

I let Morgan go ahead and ignore Locke as he lopes after him.

'Everywhere I could,' I say. 'I grew up in such a small place. When I realized how big everything outside of it was, I had to see it all.'

'Did you explore the Dark Realms as well?' she asks carefully.

'Not really,' I reply. 'Though there are fae there, it's considered a dangerous place by the Underhill. When I found myself in the fae realm, I decided to join their ranks. We’d been told by Varrik all our lives that we were the only fae left.

So when we learned there was a land full of our kind, we were excited, hopeful for the future. '

'It wasn't what you thought it would be?' she asks quietly.