Chapter Fourteen #3
“I’m sorry.” The words came out in a whisper, and his loyalty was torn.
He should stay here with her, help her to continue healing, yet if he delayed even one more day in finding his sister?
Any number of things could happen. “Though our situations are the same, they are also different, and any time lost…”
“I know.” With a sniff, Rose waved him away when he would have embraced her. “How did my housekeeper come by this information?”
“Her sister lives in the same village that my sister does.” It was like a miracle.
“From everything she told me, there is a good possibility my mother’s lover took my sister by telling my father he and his wife—he didn’t have one at the time and apparently his sister pretended she was that—couldn’t have children.
They adopted the girl and went back to live in the family cottage, while my sister’s father worked as a banker in London. ”
Slowly, she nodded. “That is for the best. Your sister went to her father’s family, to the people who would love and spoil her.”
“Yes, I suppose.” For the first time, doubts went through his mind. Should he give up old wounds? “Her aunt died, and now her father is ailing and she is his caretaker. However, I’ve long dreamed of reconnecting with her, of having a piece of my family back. I must do this, Rose.”
Another few tears fell to her cheeks, and with angry movements, she dashed them away. “While I understand that, I thought you might have enough here to stay, especially after telling me that you are courting me…”
Oh, God.
“Rose, listen to me. I would never hurt you.” He couldn’t make such a lifelong commitment to her when he was now consumed with the possibility of locating his long-lost sister. “Please don’t think anything has changed between us.”
The look of hopelessness in her eyes would haunt him forever. “How can I not when you’re planning to leave? For God knows how long?” The valiant woman struggled to fight and hide her emotions, no doubt trying to put distance between them because she was hurt.
And he’d done that to her when he promised himself that he wouldn’t.
To everyone else seeing the situation, it would seem as if he seduced her and now was treating her the same way as that despicable earl did three years ago.
“I will return. In all probability, I’ll only be away for a few days.
” Again, he reached for her, but she shook her head. “Please don’t think the worst of me.”
“I don’t, of course. Even the best of men are merely men.” She wiped at her cheeks and nose. “I’m just disappointed at myself for trusting any man again. When will I learn?”
“I’m not like that! I promise I’ll come back.”
“They always do.”
Damn it all to hell.
“I’m not that earl.” What should he do? He couldn’t ask her to accompany him.
That was far too scandalous, and then he’d be tossed from society as well.
They couldn’t both be considered pariahs.
After all, he’d need to do something to earn a living if he wished to make an offer for her.
“But I have a chance to find my sister. Do you know how fleeting that might be?”
“Yes, I do!” She waved a hand at him then tossed her head. “I’m not some silly vapid society woman. I understand exactly why you want this. I would too in your circumstances.”
“Oh.” Being so near to her was slowly driving him mad, and she deserved better than him.
That was the truth of the matter. Any self-respecting man would leave her alone until his situation righted itself.
Rose deserved to be with a man who could give her everything she’d ever dreamed of, and if that included a family, that man needed a damned income.
Not empty pockets and a sire of questionable morals.
“I am not going to abandon you like he did. What you and I have is not a fling and it wasn’t a seduction. ”
They both knew to whom he referred and why.
For long moments, she held his gaze with her own. Emotions flitted rapid fire through her eyes, and he couldn’t read the bulk of them. Then she drew out a shuddering sigh. “When will you leave?”
“Tonight, possibly, or early tomorrow morning. It depends, I suppose.”
“I, uh…” Her chin quivered. “I thought we might have one more night together…”
Her obvious distress ripped him to shreds inside. “I’ll return as quickly as I can, but I’ll need to borrow a horse…”
“Do what you will.” A hand fluttered in dismissal. “Clearly you will anyway regardless of what I want.” A few more tears fell to her cheeks, and this time she left the moisture there. “Don’t expect me to see you off.”
Every plan he’d made since arriving at Landry Hall hung in the balance.
Was he such a nodcock that he’d toss away everything he’d ever wanted merely to chase after a ghost?
He shoved those thoughts away. “Please don’t fret.
You and I will be together tonight. There’s something special I have planned for you. ”
She huffed so hard that the rush of breath ruffled the few curls on her forehead. “Don’t bother, Captain Danbury. We both knew your tenure here was only temporary.”
Then she flounced away, leaving him alone with his thoughts in turmoil.