Chapter 19 #2
“Something Kermit said when we were shooting pool together,” Ocean replied.
“He said that one of the best things about the Jokers was that no one cared if he wanted to wear a soft kitty suit instead of badass leather; he was their brother. I couldn’t get that out of my head.
When dungeon night rolled around, that’s all I could think about when I stared at my gear. ”
“Nothing will get you in deeper dogshit with Mark than trying to kink shame someone,” Pope explained. “He takes the term safe space seriously.”
“I love that. It’s how it should be.”
“You said a friend helped you figure out that you were a pup,” Pope said. “How’d all that come about?”
“He never made it a secret that he was into pet play. Like Kermit, he was a kitty, and once he told me that, I started noticing the way he interacted with the people he was with. Being touched, stroked, caressed, the way he rubbed up against them when they were together, and not just on the dance floor, either. Then he started to talk about what it was like when he was in that headspace. Where he could just be a kitty and let go of everything. He made a comment about how I was always the first to run and get something for someone or offer a hug, or a chance to cuddle when one of our friends was sad but was downright terrifying when someone was being an asshole to the people I loved. He told me that it reminded him of a pup he knew, another surfer who was afraid to get on a plane, so he never did the overseas competitions. The next time he went to play I tagged along just to check it out, and I don’t know, hanging out with the other pups, being silly, playing, man, all the bullshit flew out of my head when I was there, so I kept going back with him, even when we bounced to another spot, and eventually I got my own gear. ”
“What was it like, putting it on for the first time?”
“Slipping into a second skin.”
“Is that the only gear you have?”
“Yeah, it takes up enough space as it is, with everything else I had to cart around with me to competitions,” Ocean admitted. “Now that I don’t have to worry about hauling everything from place to place, I was planning to pop into Mischief in Leather and see what Terry has in stock.”
“If you don’t see anything you like he’ll make you what you’re after,” Pope replied. “Especially once he knows you’re with me.”
“Will you come with me? I’d rather have you help make sure everything fits right and doesn’t rub.”
“Of course I will,” Pope declared. “I’d want you to take some time moving around in it so we can make sure that you’re comfortable when you play, and that requires touching skin and making adjustments.”
“Then I definitely want you with me.”
A loud rumble of thunder muffled Over the Hills and Far Away, but it was the crack of lightning that drowned it out completely and woke the dogs, who sprung up, whining and shaking until Ocean opened his arms and gathered them close, while Pope reached around him so he could help settle them as a deluge of rain hit the window like someone had suddenly turned on an industrial-strength sprinkler system.
“Holy shit, I thought they said two hours,” Ocean yelped, arms wrapped around their floofy boy while Pope hugged the one that looked like it was at least part lab. “It’s only been, what, thirty-five, forty minutes.”
Pope scooted so he could reach his phone and checked the time just as the weather alert went off again. “Someone dropped the ball.”
“Are Danger and Roan going to be alright to drive back in this?”
“No, I’m texting him now to keep his…never mind, he just shot me the same text,” Pope said.
“They’re going to stay put until it blows over, along with about twenty-five other people who were rushing around trying to get last-minute supplies.
Damnit all, I should have told them to keep their asses home! ”
“Hey,” Ocean said with enough of an edge in his voice to draw Pope’s attention. “There was no way for you to know the weather service got it wrong.”
Exhaling, Pope nodded, because Ocean was right.
They needed the supplies. The music was impossible to hear over the pounding of the rain, lightning cracks sounding like bombs were going off outside.
Ocean had gotten the pups to lay back down, but each strike made their ears perk up and their bodies tremble.
Ocean stretched out beside them, letting them curl against his body, so Pope held him from behind and brushed his hair back from his face.
“What you just did is a prime example of what makes a pup-handler relationship so special,” Pope said.
“I didn’t do anything.”
“Yeah, you did, even without knowing it. I was about to lose my shit thinking about them out there in this mess, and you reminded me of why it’s important to stop, breathe, and remember that nature is unpredictable, despite all our modern technology,” Pope replied.
“You know, good pets are safe spaces too.”
“I never thought of that.”
“It’s not something you pick up on when all you’ve been involved in is casual play,” Pope explained.
“It comes when partners have been together for a while and have had a chance to see how their interactions provide each other with emotional stability and support, as well as joy and pleasure. When you start to be able to read the signs when someone’s getting spun out and you’re able to calm them with a few words, or by laying your head on their chest, or distracting them from something that’s stressing them out by bringing a toy so you can play, that’s when you really get to see the way a dynamic is supposed to work. ”
“Like puzzle pieces,” Ocean said, having to speak up to be heard over the continuous deluge of wind and rain.
Pope couldn’t remember the last time it had rained this hard, with no indication that it was going to slow down anytime soon.
“Exactly like that.”
“I’m glad Roan told you he was little.”
“Like you, I had a feeling, but nothing concrete, since I hadn’t had the opportunity to spend as much time with him.”
“Was it okay that I kept his secret?”
“In this instance, yes.”
“I’d have told you if he’d been about to do something that was going to get him hurt,” Ocean said. “I don’t keep those kinds of secrets.”
Pope hugged him and pressed his head against Ocean’s shoulder.
“That’s right, those aren’t the kinds of things we want to hide from one another.
It goes both ways, too. I don’t expect you boys to follow rules that I don’t.
If something’s going wrong, I’ll sit you guys down and tell you everything there is to know.
That way you’re not left walking on eggshells, worrying and getting all spun out. ”
“Thank you for telling me these things and talking to me about them,” Ocean said. “I’ve had flings before and short relationships that usually ended when they headed off to one place and I caught a plane to another, but this already feels different and we’re just starting out.”
“That’s how it’s supposed to feel, when you’re building something and not just having fun.”
He’d just finished speaking when the lamp flickered, a sure sign that they’d be going out sooner rather than later.
Fortunately, the fire provided plenty of light.
Enough so that they could save the lantern batteries until they absolutely needed them, since he never kept much wood stocked.
It was rare that he had cause to it. Hell, the architect had tried to talk him out of including it in the plans, but the ambience was nice in winter, with dancing flames to stare into while he was lost in thought.
Sure enough, the lamp flickered again before going out completely several minutes later, ending the music, not that they’d been able to hear much of it after the rain started.
Between thunder that rumbled loud enough Pope swore he could feel it rattling the house and crashes of lightning that made it seem like the world was falling apart, laying there with Ocean and the dogs, who’d finally fallen back to sleep, was the only thing he could do.
Still, it was impossible for him to relax completely, despite knowing Roan and Danger weren’t trying to drive home in this mess.
Them not being in the house was concerning enough, but there was a nagging feeling in his gut he couldn’t shake that kept him on edge and restless as they rode out the storm.
He tried not to think about the last time the feeling had struck, or the ramifications that followed.
He was a different man now. Older. Wiser. And one step closer to having everything he’d ever dreamed of.
As long as the fates didn’t step in and fuck it up.