Chapter Eighteen #2
“Did you . . .” Jane looked a little uncomfortable but, being the unsympathetic sister she often was, pressed on regardless. “Did you run out of money? You were in Town longer than usual, and I know how expensive London can be.”
“No,” Harry reassured her, squeezing her hand where it rested on the bench.
Jane knew better than anyone, except perhaps for Adam, how dire Harry’s circumstances really were.
If Jane’s husband hadn’t fallen top-over-tail in love with Harry’s sometimes-flighty sister after a nearly disastrous courtship the summer Jane had spent in Bath as a hired companion, Jane would yet be fetching wraps and tea for some curmudgeonly old lady or another.
The estate could not support one gentleman, let alone a lady in addition.
“I was particularly careful.” He knew Jane needed to have her mind set at ease on that score.
She often expressed a wish to help, an impossible thing, considering the ever-increasing size of their family coupled with her husband’s modest income contrasted against the enormity of the Windover estate’s needs.
“And Adam saw to it that I ate regularly.”
“You know, for an ogre, he is remarkably thoughtful,” Jane replied, the twinkle in her eyes evident once again.
“Yes, he is a very well-mannered monster.”
“So if the Dastardly Duke didn’t drive you from London and your creditors aren’t up in arms, that leaves only one possibility.” Jane shrugged dramatically.
“And what is that?” Harry asked with a grin.
She lowered her voice to a whisper, her eyes growing wide. Jane was nothing if not theatrical. “You have run afoul of the most viciously vengeful of all the gods.”
Harry matched her dramatic whisper. “Is that not a rather pagan thing to say within throwing distance of a church?”
“It is not throwing distance if one is throwing something heavy enough,” she answered.
“Ah. Proceed.”
They had ever been like that, playing off each other and going to great lengths to try to get the other to laugh.
“I don’t remember what I was saying,” Jane answered in her unwaveringly serious whisper.
“The god I have offended,” Harry hinted.
“Ah, yes. The god of—” She looked around, darting her eyes as if searching for an enemy army about to descend upon them. “Love.”
“You believe a lady has driven me from London?” Harry managed to smile as if it were humorous.
“Ah!” It was a look of epiphany if Harry had ever seen one. “I believe I have hit upon it.”
Jane knew him too well. Harry sighed and shook his head in defeat, though with a smile.
One couldn’t help smiling with Jane. Athena had the same effect on him, though Harry appreciated that she had a more serious side.
He often wondered how Jane’s husband put up with her constant teasing and joking.
Harry was not so lacking in self-awareness not to realize he was a great deal like his sister.
He also understood that he would never endure being married to someone precisely like himself.
“What is the lady’s name?” Jane asked, far too much excitement in her voice.
“Apparently you believe I left my wits in London as well as my heart.” Harry chuckled.
He would never tell his sister the source of his heartache.
She would most likely do something entirely disastrous, like write to Athena directly.
Jane was enthusiastic but did not always think things through very well.
“You don’t wish to tell me?” Jane asked. “Why ever not? She’s not married is she?”
“Of course she’s not married.” Harry rolled his eyes.
“Thank the heavens!” But Jane’s tone was so exaggerated that Harry did not take her seriously for one moment. “For then I would have been forced to preach to you—we are within throwing distance of a church, after all—and I do not enjoy moralizing to my brother.”
Harry laughed again. “So now that the subject of my moral fortitude has been put to rest, might we move on?”
“Oh, but we have not at all settled the issue of your bleeding heart.”
“Very dramatically put, sister,” Harry said.
“Thank you.” She offered something of a curtsy, which was impressive considering she was both sitting and largely expectant. “Was the lady not interested then? Or ineligible?”
“I do not know that she was interested,” Harry answered, the admission painful. “It hardly mattered, however, as I was considered extremely ineligible.”
“Ineligible how?” Jane demanded. She ever had been extremely protective of Harry, much like a mother hen with her chick.
“Her guardian is quite specifically opposed to fortune hunters,” Harry admitted.
“You would never marry someone simply for her dowry,” Jane defended.
“But the fact remains, Jane, that I have a dilapidated estate and almost no income. And she—”
“No doubt, has an enormous dowry,” Jane finished for him.
“Almost vulgarly enormous,” Harry conceded. “The discrepancy alone labels me a fortune hunter.”
“And so you simply gave up?” It was something of a scold. Harry couldn’t blame her for thinking so. She was not aware of how long he’d held on to such a hopeless wish.
Harry looked away from his sister, his eyes sliding over the garden, though not seeing anything in particular. “I could not bear it any longer,” he said.
Jane was silent beside him. After a moment she spoke, her tone soft and gentle. “You care a great deal for her, I daresay.”
“I cannot imagine ever loving anyone else.” It was nothing but the truth, though he’d never spoken his feelings out loud before.
“Oh, Harry.” He felt Jane squeeze his hand.
The discussion had grown too serious for Harry’s taste. He had left London to escape heaviness and depression. “So I have come here to be pummeled by your unscrupulous offspring.”
“I am certain they will oblige you with fervor,” Jane replied, obviously catching on to the hint in his forced-jovial tone. “I could even provide them with sticks and such.”
“Weaponry will be unnecessary.”
He helped her to her feet, and they walked back toward the house in silence.
Being with Jane’s family would help, to a degree.
With four young children, there would be ample distraction.
But seeing her loving and growing family would only serve as a reminder of what Harry would never have.
And he had discovered nearly a year earlier that nothing ever entirely pushed thoughts of Athena from his mind.