Chapter 33
Chapter
Thirty-Three
Elias sat in a loose silk robe at his dresser, smoothing oil through his hair.
It’s my wedding tomorrow. I’ll be married to Gerard Drachen, the dragon warrior prince.
Elias smiled. Coming to this peace assembly, his goal had been to be married to someone who didn’t revolt him. He’d hoped to find someone he could respect, tolerate, and make small talk with as they presented a united front to the public. He’d never dreamed he might actually like his spouse.
But that was what had happened.
Of course, if he was being honest with himself, he could admit he’d liked the dragon warrior almost immediately. Strangely, he’d liked him because he’d felt an unusual bond from the fight that had occurred between them two years ago, which had almost resulted in their mutual destruction.
That bond had made him want to be near the man. To be close. And now they would be married, locked together until one of them died.
When it became apparent that Gerard really disliked Elias, he’d been surprisingly hurt. He’d been determined to charm Gerard and make him like Elias.
To charm Gerard, Elias had let down his defences. He’d shown parts of himself he’d always kept hidden. He’d softened and gone against his own principles. He’d revealed his true self.
Well, not completely. He’d kept many secrets. But he had revealed more than he probably should.
Finished oiling his hair, Elias opened a drawer and pulled out the one portrait he had left of his mother. The one portrait his stepmother had never gotten her hands on. He’d found it almost a year after she passed in an old set of drawers that had once been used by his father.
“What would you suggest I do, Mother?” Elias asked the portrait. “What advice would you give me on my wedding night?”
Unsurprisingly, she didn’t respond.
“I like Gerard. Honestly, I feel like I can trust him.” He stared into his mother’s eyes, so similar to his own. “I don’t know if I should. It goes against everything I believe … But maybe if I truly opened up to him, then we could …”
What did he think he could achieve if he opened up?
Elias hesitated. “Maybe we could have more than a political marriage. Maybe more than just tolerating and even liking each other.” He rubbed his finger along the ornate, thin gold frame of the portrait.
“Maybe if I showed him who I am, all of me, then maybe … maybe … we could have a marriage of … well …” He trailed off. Unable to say that one word buzzing in his head.
Elias had not known real love since his mother died. Not the kind you could rely upon. And over the years, he’d come to accept that he’d never know love again. He had his Great-Uncle Jules who had trained him. But that had always been a tutor and pupil relationship, not touching on anything deeper.
When Elias was with Gerard, though, his insides tingled, and he found himself wondering if he could trust the strong man.
Elias let out a laugh. “How many times have I told Colette to trust no one since we arrived? If you trust someone, you make yourself vulnerable. It gives them the power to betray you.”
Elias paused. “It’s just …” He exhaled. “I’d like to trust someone. I’d like to trust Gerard.”
Because Elias knew on the flip side, that if he did not open up to Gerard, if he did not make himself vulnerable, then there would forever be a wall between them. There would be no chance for love. The lies would kill any hope of that.
“I’m just tired of only being able to open up to a painted portrait. I’m tired of always being alone. What should I do?”
His mother did not respond. If he wanted a response, Elias knew he’d have to open up to someone living.
He put the portrait away. He rose. It was too early to sleep. And his thoughts swirled so intensely in his head. There was a relatively small garden provided as part of the rooms for the royal family of Voltaria and Zephyrias. Elias could sit there for a bit and stare up at the stars.
He left his room, bare feet padding on the wooden floor. No need to be properly dressed this late at night. He wrapped his arms around his waist as he walked down the hall.
“I’m sure it will be a wonderful wedding banquet tomorrow.” Emperor Hugo’s voice came from one of the sitting rooms. “I am very much looking forward to it.”
Elias tensed. Because he knew who his father would be talking to.
He stopped walking and glanced back down the hall. Perhaps he should just return to his room. If he wanted to go to the garden, he’d need to pass the sitting room and the occupants.
“All eyes will be on Elias. So he’ll enjoy it. You know how he loves to be the centre of attention.” His stepmother’s sweet voice floated down the corridor.
His half-siblings laughed.
Elias exhaled. He should walk away. But instead he found himself marching forward. He smiled as he stood in the doorway. “Are you discussing my wedding tomorrow?”
“We are!” Emperor Hugo grinned.
His stepmother’s fine features pinched. His half-siblings stopped laughing.
Elias glided into the room and took a seat. “I am so looking forward to marrying Prince Gerard. I can’t sleep. I am so excited!”
Emperor Hugo chuckled. “That is a good sign. I could barely sleep the night before I married your mother and the night before I married Emmeline.” He reached over and touched the empress’s hand.
Her lips tightened. Elias wanted to laugh. His father had thought his words a compliment. But lumping his first and second wife together was no compliment to a woman who did not want to share anything, not power, not attention, and not the love of her husband.
“Yes, and Prince Gerard is so brave. He is so attentive. I was so proud when he won the Tournament of Dragons. He is a true champion.” Elias smoothed a hand over his hair. “I believe he and I will truly be happy together.”
“Well, it is good that you are happy,” Empress Emmeline said, voice smooth.
Elias tensed.
“Sadly, you’ve been so caught up in your own feelings that you do not even think of your poor younger brother.” She gestured to Beau, who sat, shoulders hunched and face set in a glower.
“Unfortunately, Duke Albert has not been an attentive future husband. He was at first, of course. He seemed so pleased to marry Beau. But then … well …” She looked at Elias, gaze flicking over him.
Elias sank his teeth into his lower lip, biting back his words. He really should have stayed in his room.
She shook her head. “Duke Albert’s attention has been caught by you, Elias. As you must know. It has caused great strife and heartache for Beau.”
Elias forced himself to take a breath and not roll his eyes. “I do not see how Duke Albert’s wandering gaze is my responsibility.”
She gaped. “You don’t? Elias, you are always so desperate for attention. You want everyone to look at you and adore you. I understand that you do not have other qualities for people to admire. But trying to capture the attention of men who are betrothed to others is not the way!”
She leaned forward, hands outreached and palms up, as if beseeching him. “Surely you must see that! And he is your younger brother. It is your responsibility to look after him.” She dropped her hands. “But you can never see anything beyond your own needs.”
Elias kept still. I should just leave. Nothing good will come out of me engaging.
Elias had learnt when to speak and when to not. And he knew this was a battle he should not engage in. He was too agitated. Too annoyed. Head too full of his marriage tomorrow. He would not win this fight. And there was no prize here he wanted.
He was about to rise.
Then his father nodded at Empress Emmeline’s words. That one moment was like a knife twisting between the ribs.
His father had always taken his stepmother’s side. Over and over. It shouldn’t hurt. He should be used to it.
“I have no interest in capturing Duke Albert’s attention,” Elias said, trying to keep his voice steady.
“You have no interest, and yet you do it!” Empress Emmeline cried out. “You can’t help it. You want all eyes on you. You cannot be satisfied by the attention of just the dragon warrior, you must have everyone’s attention, even Beau’s future husband!”
Elias clenched his hands. “That’s not—”
“Elias, you must see the consequences of your actions. You must think of others instead of just thinking of your wants!”
Elias’s blood boiled over. He jumped to his feet.
“You’re talking nonsense! I do not give a damn about Duke Albert, and I sure as fuck don’t want his attention,” Elias barked.
“He’s not worthy of my time. And if Beau can’t keep the bloody duke’s attention because he’s too dull, that’s on him! Not me!”
Her mouth fell open. She clutched at her chest. She blinked rapidly. Tears formed in her eyes. She looked at her husband.
Fuck!
“See, I told you he does not love or care for his siblings. I told you. And did you see the way he spoke to me.” Her shoulders hunched. “Such vile words.” She sobbed. Tears streamed down her cheeks.
Emperor Hugo reached out to comfort her. “There there, my love.”
Bile burned in Elias’s throat. When was the last time his father had comforted him like that?
Even when his own mother had died, his father had been too lost in his own grief to care about Elias. Then, so swiftly after, he’d fallen in love with the empress. He’d forgotten his grief overnight, and he’d been too happy to comfort his bereft son.
“From the very start, he did not want us to marry. He never accepted me!” The empress wiped at her tear-stained cheeks. “Then, when we had children, when we should have been a happy family, he resented having to share your attention with them.”
Lies. All lies. But she twisted the truth with such skill that it was hard to see the falsehoods in them. She sniffled. She deserved an applause for such a magnificent act.
“Even now, after all these years, he still does not respect our union, our love, or our family. It was all I ever wanted, a happy, loving family. All of us together getting along.”
His father stroked her shoulders. He murmured softly to her, drinking down her poisoned words.
Then he turned his gaze on Elias. “Elias,” he sighed, disappointment dripping from the word.
The empress turned her head, and Elias could see the satisfaction in her grey gaze.
Elias spun on his heels and stormed out.