Chapter 42
Forty-Two
The bunk creaked when Cassie rolled over, the thin mattress shifting beneath her. She lay still, staring at the grain of the wooden wall a few inches from her face. She imagined a face in it. It was mean and sneering.
She shifted onto her back, folded her hands over her stomach. The air smelled of wet wood, mostly. At the edge of it was something else, probably drifting up from Delilah. Fruity and sweet.
When she’d invited Delilah to come to this camp, it had felt like the right decision. A turning point. A chance for Delilah to get out of her head and into her body. Build muscle memory that couldn’t be denied.
But here, now, she wasn’t so sure about that call.
She rubbed the heel of her hand against her forehead. It wasn’t just the Petra thing. It was all of it. The way Delilah looked at her sometimes, like she was trying to read her like a book. Cassie hated how aware she was of that.
It had been years since anyone had looked at her like that. Like there might be something worth seeing beneath the brim of her cap.
She told herself she was imagining it. That Delilah couldn’t see the whole picture, and she shouldn’t be allowed to. That she needed to keep the lines clear. Trainer and trainee. Professional. Impersonal. And above all, controlled.
But another part of her—a smaller, more traitorous part—wondered if Delilah had already seen through the performance.
After all, hadn’t Cassie gone out of her way to help her? More than she would for most? For anyone?
She told herself it was because she was making decent money every hour she spent with her. That was all. But deep down, she knew better.
She shouldn’t have come here. There was too much personal shit spread around this place. Delilah was going to see too much. She was going to see Cassie’s mushy little centre. Cassie couldn’t have that. She was supposed to be solid.
But lying there in the dark, her mind racing, a small knot in her stomach, Cassie couldn’t help but wonder if it was too late. What if Delilah had already seen her?
A truly horrific thought.