Chapter 83
Eighty-Three
‘How the hell did you find me?’ Cassie asked, voice sharp, eyes wide.
Delilah could have explained that she’d tried every place she could think of, including Cassie’s flat, but that felt irrelevant. ‘Look, I know you blocked me. But I couldn’t leave it like this,’ she said, stepping closer, keeping her gaze fixed on Cassie.
‘I didn’t block you,’ Cassie said, frowning, getting to her feet. The ball in her hand rolled away, across the court.
‘I kept getting sent to voicemail,’ Delilah said awkwardly.
‘Battery died,’ Cassie admitted, shrugging.
Delilah felt a flush of embarrassment. ‘Oh.’
A silence fell between them. The night air seemed impossibly heavy.
‘How did the match go?’ Cassie asked begrudgingly, as though she didn’t care.
Jesus, Delilah had almost forgotten she’d even played in the hours since. ‘Oh. Trounced her.’
Cassie’s mouth twitched, the corners lifting slightly before she shoved it back down. ‘Cool.’
Delilah swallowed, panicked now that Cassie was in front of her. What words could fix what she’d done?
‘I want you to know that I know I’ve been selfish. I’ve been so wrapped up in this bloody role that I didn’t think about how you’d feel today. Being around all those tennis pros, watching that match. It must’ve… I’m so sorry. I was so selfish, I thought today would actually be good for you.’
Cassie shook her head. ‘What are you talking about?’
‘You’re… traumatised. I’ve traumatised you. Retraumatised you. That’s a thing, isn’t it?’
Cassie let out a surprised laugh. ‘I’m not retraumatised.’
OK, now Delilah didn’t know what the hell was going on. ‘Then why did you leave?’
Cassie looked at her, those blue eyes hard in a way Delilah hadn’t seen since they first met. ‘I left because it was over.’
‘Yeah, you said that, but I don’t…’
Cassie groaned. ‘I heard you. Talking to your agent. You said you didn’t have time for this.’
Delilah was mystified. ‘This?’
‘You and me. This.’
Delilah couldn’t unravel this. What was Cassie talking about? Delilah blinked, heart hammering. ‘You mean… you think I don’t care about… about us?’ she asked tentatively.
‘I heard you,’ Cassie said again, her eyes not so hard now.
‘I have no idea what you think… Wait, my agent?’ Delilah quickly cycled back. ‘I was telling her about us, but I didn’t say… I would never have said…’
That was when she remembered it. She’d broken off the conversation because James Rourke had been bringing her a nemesis to conquer, and she’d needed Ashley to stop talking. And she had said something like, I don’t have time for that.
All at once, she understood. Not just the misunderstanding, but that Cassie was hurt.
Because she wanted to be with her. Wanted Delilah in the way Delilah wanted Cassie.
Delilah felt exhilaration and self-loathing in the same moment. If she could have just stopped being a little mouse and said how she felt, this, Cassie, hurt, wouldn’t have happened. But it had because Delilah had been too afraid.
This was her whole problem. She didn’t know how to feel deserving of what she wanted. For the second time today, it was time to stop being frightened and make it happen.